Umprofeti wothando (kunye nezifo zesini) -Ungathandana njani neqabane lakho

nguMaulana Faraz Ibn Adam

Njengoko iintsuku zisondela ekusondeleni komtshato womntu, uvuyo, imincili kunye nemincili impompo ngomtshakazi nomyeni. Ukwakhiwa komtshato ngamava ochulumanco nochulumanco. Xa umtshato usenziwa, ulonwabo kunye nolonwabo lomntu lukwincam yokuphuphuma kunye nokugqithisela. Xa isibini esisanda kutshata sidibana okokuqala, amagama akanakubuchaza ubumnandi, ulonwabo, ukuzola, ulonwabo kunye nemincili incasa ngabo bobabini.
Ukuba yonke imihla yomtshato ibonisa usuku lokuqala lomtshato, kwaye ubusuku bonke bubonakalisa ubusuku bokuqala bomtshato, ke umtshato uya kuba ngamava olonwabo kweli hlabathi.

Iinyanga ezimbalwa zokuqala zihlala 'ziyi-honeymoon'. Xa isibini sizinzile, emva koko inyaniso iqala. Izibini ezininzi ziyasilela kweli nqanaba. Umyeni uxakeke ngumsebenzi wakhe. Ufika ekhaya ediniwe kwaye emva kwexesha, ukuziva ulambile kwaye udiniwe. Uyakufuna ukutya kwaye uyonqena ukwenza nantoni na. Uyatya, ubeke ezi plate zimdaka kwi sink walala esofeni. Unokuvuka enze i-Salāh ukuba uyayazi i-Salāh. ukuba umfazi ebengasithandi esi senzo, uvuka emva kobusuku, iifowuni abahlobo abambalwa, ubukela iTV kwaye uhlala eyalela umfazi ukuba amfumane u-x kunye no-y. Xa ilixesha lokulala, Ukuba indoda iyavuya iya kuba neentlobano zesini nomfazi wayo—kodwa nje ukuze yanelise iintswelo zayo. Xa sele ezalisekile, uye wema walala. Enoba umfazi wanelisekile okanye akanelisekanga akusayi kuthi qatha engqondweni yakhe. Oku kuba yinkqubo yobomi bakhe.

Umfazi kwelinye icala, ekuqaleni uzama ukukholisa umyeni wakhe. Ngokuthe ngcembe uphelelwa ngumdla njengoko engafumani ngqalelo yaneleyo kumyeni wakhe. Upheka ukukholisa umyeni wakhe. Uya kubeka umzamo ekutyeni kwakhe. Uya kuzama kwaye afezekise zonke iinkcukacha ekutyeni. Inkcazo-ntetho, izithako kunye neziqholo zibekwe ngokucokisekileyo ukuze zihambelane. Emva kwexesha uqalisa ukudinwa yile nto njengoko umyeni engathethi okanye ekugxeka ukutya kwakhe. Ngokukhawuleza xa umyeni esiya emsebenzini, usemnxebeni kwizinxulumani zakhe. Uyapheka, ubukele umabonakude, ucoce indlu kwaye uyonwabele imini yakhe ngaphambi kokuba umyeni wakhe abuye ekhaya. Kanye xa efika umyeni, uba likhoboka kwakhona.
Esi simbo somtshato apho kungekho msa uboniswayo, akukho mvakalelo yokwenene esuka kwelinye icala isiya kwelinye isingise kwintshabalalo.
Umyeni kufuneka aphumeze uthando olubonakaliswe nguMprofeti uSalallahu alaihi wasallam. Sithatha iRomeo njengeyothando kodwa hayi uMprofeti uSalallahu alaihi wasallam. Ukuba bendinokuthi uMprofeti uSalallahu alaihi wasallam ngoyena mntu uthandanayo, Bendingazuxoka. Ukujonga ngononophelo kwi-biography yoMprofeti uSalallahu alaihi wasallam, uya kufumanisa ukuba wayebahlonela kakhulu abafazi bakhe yaye ebonakalisa ingqalelo ephakamileyo, inkathalo nothando kubo. Wayengoyena mzekelo ubalaseleyo wesimilo esihle kumfazi. Wayebathuthuzela abafazi bakhe, bendisosula iinyembezi, ngokuhlonela iimvakalelo zabo, ukuva amazwi abo, ukukhathalela izikhalazo zabo, ukunciphisa intlungu yabo, ukuya kwipikiniki kunye nabo, ukubaleka kunye nabo, bethwele ukulahlwa kwabo, ukuxoxa ngemibandela kunye nabo, ukugcina isidima sabo, ukubaxhasa kwiimeko zikaxakeka, evakalisa uthando lwakhe kubo kwaye wayevuya kakhulu luthando olunjalo.

Indoda nomfazi kufuneka bamanyane omnye komnye ngokwasengqondweni, ngokwasemzimbeni nangokomoya. Nantsi eminye imizekelo enomtsalane kunye neengongoma ekufuneka sizithathele ukuphumeza umtshato wothando:

1) Zazi iimvakalelo zabo
UMprofeti salallahu alaihi wasallam wayexelela Sayyidah Aisha radiallahu anha : “Ndazi kakuhle xa wonwabile okanye unomsindo ngam. Waphendula uAisha: Uyazi njani loo nto? Uthe: Xa ukholisiwe ndim ufunga uthi “NgoThixo ka-Mohammad” kodwa xa unomsindo ufunga uthi “NgoThixo ka-Ibrahim”. Uthe: Unyanisile, Andilichazi igama lakho.”
Indoda nomfazi bafanele bazazi iimvakalelo zomnye. Indoda ifanele ikwazi ukukala xa umfazi wayo ekhathazekile okanye ebuhlungu, ngokunjalo nomfazi ufanele akwazi ukufunda ukuziphatha kwendoda yakhe. Ngokuphaphela iimvakalelo zomnye, iya kunceda ekusombululeni nakuphi na ukungavisisani. Xa iqabane lakho liphantsi okanye likhathazekile, ube khona ukuze umthuthuzele. Hlala nabo, thetha nabo, baphulaphule. Zama kwaye ubenze bancume. Ukuba umyeni usoloko eziphaphele iimvakalelo zomfazi wakhe, yaye umfazi usoloko eziphaphele iimvakalelo zomyeni, ke oku kuya kunceda kakhulu ekugcineni ‘i-flicker’ ikhanya.

2) Mthuthuzele
USayyidah Safiyah radiallahu anha wayekuhambo kunye noMprofeti uSalallahu alaihi wasallam.. Wafika emva kwexesha ngoko ke uMprofeti uSalallahu alaihi wasallam wamfumana ngelixa wayelila. UMprofeti uSalallahu alaihi wasallam wosula iinyembezi zakhe ngezandla zakhe kwaye wazama konke okusemandleni akhe ukumthomalalisa..
Le yenye into ekufuneka umtshato ube nayo. Iqabane ngalinye lifanele libekho ngenxa yelinye ngamaxesha alungileyo namabi. Umfazi ufanele afumane intuthuzelo nentuthuzelo endodeni yaye indoda ifanele ifumane ububele nothando emfazini wayo. Yibani nobulali omnye komnye.

3) Ukulala ethangeni lomfazi
Umprofeti uSalallahu alaihi wasallam wayehlala ecaleni kamama wethu othandekayo u-Sayyidah Aisha radaillahu anha naxa esexesheni xa esiya exesheni.. UMprofeti u-Swalla Allaahu 'alayhi wa aalihi wa sallam wayecengceleza iKur῾ān ngelixa engqengqe emathangeni enkosikazi yakhe..
Kukangaphi siphumle emathangeni eqabane lethu? Ezi zijekulo zinokubonakala zingenamsebenzi kodwa zizenzo ezisondeza iintliziyo. Umfazi unokulubona aze alubone uthando lwendoda yakhe ngaye kwezo zenzo. Ngalo lonke ixesha ufika ekhaya kwaye uhambe kwaye uphumle emathangeni omfazi wakho. Uya kuwuxabisa kakhulu lo mqondiso.

4) Ukudibanisa iinwele zeqabane:
UAisha radiallahu anha wayeza kukama iinwele zoMprofeti salallahu alaihi wasallam kwaye ahlambe iinwele zakhe..
Le yindlela ekufuneka sisondelelene ngayo isibini. Uthando luyakhula kwaye lukhule kangangokuba iqabane linqwenela ukwenzela elinye iqabane yonke into nokuba likama iinwele zalo.. Ukugcina ubunzulu bothando, wenzele neqabane lakho izinto ezincinci. Izenzo ezincinci zinempembelelo enkulu yengqondo kwingqondo yeqabane. Abafane bakame iinwele zabo, bakhuphe iimpahla zabo ukuze banxibe, baphathele isiselo esibandayo ngemini eshushu, balungiselele into, njl.

5) Ukusela nokutya kwindawo enye:
U-Aisha radiallahu anha wayeza kusela kwikomityi. Umprofeti u-salallahu alaihi wasallam wayethatha le ndebe kwaye akhangele indawo apho imilebe yomfazi wakhe oyintanda yadibana khona.. Ekufumaneni indawo apho umfazi wakhe wayesela ekomini, wayebeka imilebe yakhe kwindawo enye ukuze imilebe yakhe ichukumise indawo echukumise imilebe yakhe. Wayeza kusela okuqulethwe yindebe kwangaxeshanye enandipha umanyano neqabane lakhe. Xa kutyiwa inyama, U-Sayyidah Aisha radiallahu anha wayeza kuluma. UMprofeti u-Sallallahu alayhi wasallam wayeyithabatha inyama esandleni sakhe aze aphinde abeke umlomo wakhe kwakuloo ndawo wayetyela kuyo umfazi wakhe.. Oku kuya kongeza incasa yothando ekutyeni kwakhe.
Yenzani izinto kunye nomfazi wakho. Musa ukutya nje ngexesha elinye nakwilaphu letafile elinye, kodwa nidle kweso siqwenga sinye. Hayike ipleyiti enye, yitya kunye kwinto enye yokutya. Oku kuya kudibanisa iintliziyo ezisondelelene omnye komnye. Xa yonke into umfazi wakho edibana nayo iba yintandane kuwe kunokutya ngokwako, Yiba nomfanekiso wedangatye lothando ebomini bakho?

6) Ukuncamisa:
UMprofeti salallahu alaihi wasallam wayephuza umfazi wakhe rhoqo. Naxa u-Sallallahu alaihi wasallam wayezilile, wayephuza umfazi wakhe.
Ncoma iqabane lakho rhoqo ngokuliphuza. Xa ephuma endlini, yenze umkhwa ukuba uhambe ngokudibana neqabane lakho. Xa ubuyela ekhaya, kunye nokuthetha salām kuye, bonisa ukuba umkhumbule kakhulu.
Xa esebenza okanye exakeke yimisebenzi yasekhaya, wamothusa ngokumanga. Kufuneka ubonise uthando lwakho. Uthando lubaso lomtshato; ukuba unqwenela ukuba umtshato wakho uqhubele phambili, kufuneka ulubonakalise uthando lwakho ngandlela zonke.
Ulwalamano lokwenyama emtshatweni lubaluleke gqitha. Intetho edumileyo ithi, "izenzo sithetha ngaphezulu kunamazwi." Bonisa iqabane lakho ukuba uyamthanda. I-Sharī῾ah ikhuthaza uthando kunye nobudlelwane bomzimba phakathi kwendoda nomfazi. UMprofeti u-Sallallahu alaihi wasallam wachaza ngokweenkcukacha,
"Ubudlelwane bomtshato nomfazi wakho yiSadaqah."

6) Ephakamisela iqhekeza emlonyeni wakhe
Wathi uMprofeti salallahu alaihi wasallam : Ukuba uchithe imali uya kuvuzwa ngayo, -nokuba uyiphakamisele emlonyeni womkakho iqhekeza elo.”
Indoda nomfazi bafanele benze ezi ntshukumo zobulali ukuze babonise uthando noxabiso lwabo. Yondla iqabane lakho ngezandla zakho amaxesha ngamaxesha. Oku kuya kuvusa idangatye lothando emtshatweni wakho.

7) Ukumncedisa kumsebenzi wasekhaya:
UMprofeti u-Salallahu alaihi wasallam wayeza kucoca kwaye ancede ekhaya. Ibiya kuzibonela ngokweemfuno zayo kunokuba ifune umfazi wayo. Wayezicoca aze azibonele ngokwakhe iimpahla zakhe.
Ngaphandle kokubuzwa, ukuba isibini siyancedisana kwimisebenzi yemihla ngemihla, iya kwenza ukuba omnye amxabise omnye. Ngokunjalo, umntu kufuneka azame konke okusemandleni akhe ukuba anganyanzeli iqabane lakhe ukuba lenze izinto kakhulu. Nantoni na umntu anokuyenza ngokwakhe, kufuneka enze. Kufuneka sibe nolwazelelelo ngeqabane lomtshato. Umfazi usebenza ngokuzimisela imini yonke. Ngoko ukuba indoda yayiza kuba nolwazelelelo ize iqonde ukuba umfazi wayo usebenza nzima, oku kuya kumchukumisa umfazi. Ngokunjalo, ukuba umfazi ebeza kwenza konke okusemandleni akhe ukuze anyamekele iintswelo zendoda yakhe ibe nolwazelelelo, iya kubangela intlantsi enkulu yothando phakathi kwabo bobabini.

8 ) Ukubalisa amabali akhe
Xoxa ngamabali kunye neziganeko kunye neqabane lakho. Zibandakanye kwiingxoxo ezilula kunye naye-into yokuhleka kunye nokuqhula. UMprofeti salallahu alaihi wasallam ngamaxesha amaninzi wayexoxa ngamabali, Iziganeko kunye neengxoxo ezilula. Ibali elidumileyo elibaliswa nguSayyidah Aisha radiallahu anha malunga no-Umm Zar 'liyabonakala..
Le yi-engile enye engahoywanga ngakumbi kunokuba rhoqo. Konke ‘kumsebenzi’ phakathi kwendoda nomfazi. Abangeni kwiincoko ezilula. Kunoko, Umyeni ukhalisa abahlobo bakhe aze ahleke nabo. Umfazi yena uyagigitheka emini nabahlobo bakhe. Oku akufanele kube njalo. Gxila kwaye uguqule lonke ulonwabo lwakho kunye nokuzonwabisa kwiqabane lakho. Ukuba ufuna ukuhleka, makube uhleka nomkakho.
Yenza inqaku kucwangciso lwakho oluxakekileyo lwemihla ngemihla apho uhlala nomfazi wakho ungenzi nto ngaphandle kokonwaba naye.

9) Ukwabelana naye ngezihlandlo zolonwabo:
Ngesinye isihlandlo xa ama-Ethiopia ayeziqhelanisa nokudubula kwindawo yemasjid, uMprofeti u-Salallahu alayhi wasallam wema nenkosikazi yakhe bebukele. Akazange uMprofeti u-Sallallahu alaihi wasallam eme nenkosikazi yakhe kuphela, wambhinqisa ingubo yakhe. UMprofeti salallahu alaihi wasallam nangona wayeneminye imisebenzi ekufuneka ayenze, wahlala apho nomkakhe. Wayesiya kuphela xa umfazi wakhe efuna ukuhamba.
Indoda ifanele ibe yeyokwabelana ngezihlandlo ezimnandi namava nomfazi wayo. Xa kunetha, kubanda okanye kunelanga, indoda mayifihle umfazi wayo.
Ufanele ukulungele ukuncama imisebenzi yakho ukuze uchithe ixesha nomfazi wakho. Xa iqabane libona umbingelelo ngenxa yakhe, kuya kubangela uthando nentlonelo engathethekiyo ezintliziyweni zabo.

10)Umdyarho nomfazi wakhe
UMprofeti salallahu alaihi wasallam wayezilolonga kwaye adlale nomfazi wakhe ngokunjalo. Isiganeko esidumileyo soMprofeti salallahu alaihi wasallam ecela umngeni kwinkosikazi yakhe ukuba abaleke saziwa.
Xa isibini sinokuba namaxesha amnandi ngolo hlobo kunye, luvutha uthando ngakumbi.

11) Embiza ngegama elihle:
UMprofeti salallahu alaihi wasallam wayebiza umfazi wakhe ngokuthi ‘Humairā’ ngenxa yothando. Ngokolwimi lithetha elincinane libomvu, kodwa abaphengululi bathi eneneni libhekisela kumntu olungileyo kangangokuba ngenxa yelanga ufumana ibala elibomvu.. Esi yayisisizathu sokuba uMprofeti salallahu alaihi wasallam ambize ngokuba nguHumairaa’..
Biza iqabane lakho ngamagama amnandi amnandi. Umntu kufuneka abonise iqabane lakhe uthando kunye nothando kuyo yonke into encinci. Umntu kufuneka asoloko esondla uthando kwiqabane lakhe ukuze agcine ilangatye livutha.
Ngesinye isihlandlo uMprofeti u-Sallallahu alaihi wasallam wajonga emehlweni enkosikazi yakhe. Wayejonge ihlabathi emehlweni enkosikazi yakhe. Emva koko wathi ku-Sayyidah Aisha radiallahu anha encoma ubuhle bakhe,
Amhlophe kangakanani amehlo akho.
Yile nto ifunekayo. Indoda nomfazi bafanele bahlale bencedisana yaye bencomana. Indoda kufuneka ibonise uthando kunye nomtsalane emfazini wayo. Umfazi kufuneka abonise uthando lwakhe ngendoda yakhe. Xa kukho ubudlelwane obuhambelanayo, umtshato uqabela phezulu.

12)Nxibelela iqabane lakho
Sayyiduna Ibn Abbās radiallahu anhu uthe: “Njengoko umfazi wam endihombisa ngako, Ndizihombisa ngenxa yakhe. Andifuni kuwathatha onke amalungelo am kuye ukuze angawahluthi onke amalungelo akhe kum ngenxa ka-Allah, oPhakamileyo, ichaze oku kulandelayo: "Kwaye abafazi baya kuba namalungelo afana namalungelo ngokuchasene nabo." (Qur῾ān 2 :228.)
Le yenye inkalo apho amaqabane amaninzi esilela khona. Umfazi unxiba kuphela xa isisiganeko esikhethekileyo. Umyeni osesandleni uhlala e-scruffy kwaye akakhathali ukuba acoceke kwaye acoceke. Ukuba isibini sifuna ukuba yonke imihla ibe sisiganeko esikhethekileyo njengosuku lwabo lomtshato, kufuneka banxibe ukuze bancome!
Umfazi makanxibe iimpahla ezikholisa indoda yakhe. Ngokunjalo, indoda ifanele inxibe oko kuthandwa ngumfazi. Ngalo lonke ixesha indoda nomfazi bejongana, ukujonga kufuneka kubavuse kwaye kuvuselele uthando olungakumbi kumaqabane abo. Oku kuya kuvutha uthando entliziyweni.

13)Ukusebenzisa i-perfume:
UMprofeti u-Sallallahu alayhi wasallam uzakuba nesitya sokuqhola. Wayeza kusebenzisa iziqholo rhoqo. Umntu kufuneka enze umgudu wokunukela umfazi wakhe ngalo lonke ixesha. Ubonakala umhle, ukugcina ucocekile, ukunuka kamnandi kuncoma ubudlelwane obukhethekileyo. Qinisekisa ukuba iinwele zakho zicocekile, iimpahla zakho zicocekile kwaye unuka kamnandi. Oku kuya kutsala iqabane lakho rhoqo kwaye kufake uthando emtshatweni.

14)Musa ukuthetha ngemibandela yakhe yangasese:
UMprofeti u-swallallahu alayhi wasallam uchaze umntu obhengeza imicimbi yomfazi wakhe kwabanye njengoyena uphakathi kwabantu ababi..
Nantoni na eyenzekayo phakathi kwakho neqabane lakho kufuneka ihlale phakathi kwenu nobabini. Hayi indlela ekububudoda nehlazo ngayo xa indoda ixubusha umfazi wayo kubahlobo bayo? Iimfihlo kunye nemiba yeqabane akufuneki zibaliswe nakubani na. Musa ukuthetha ngomfazi wakho kwabanye. Umfazi wakho ngowakho. Ungowakho umfazi. Ukunyaniseka nokunyaniseka kwakho kufuneka kuhlale kukwiqabane lakho.

15) Uthando & ngokuhlonela iintsapho zabo
Enye inkalo ebalulekileyo yokuba negalelo kulwalamano oluphilileyo kukuthanda nokuxabisa intsapho yeqabane lakho. UMprofeti salallahu alaihi wasallam wakha wabuzwa ukuba ngubani na awayemthanda kakhulu. Uphendule watsho, “Aisha.” Xa lowo wayebuzayo ephinda ephinda umbuzo wakhe ebuza phakathi kwamadoda, waphendula, “Utata wakhe.”
UMprofeti wayenokuthi ngokulula u-Abu Bakr. Impendulo yakhe ibonisa ubukrelekrele nobuchule obunjalo, ukuba ngenye impendulo wabonakalisa ukuzinikela kwakhe kumfazi wakhe nakwintsapho yakhe. Wabonisa uthando lwakhe kubazali bakhe. Khawufane ucinge indlela umfazi wakhe uSayyidah Aisha ebenokuvuya ngayo akuva le mpendulo?
Ncoma ngemithetho yakho phambi komfazi wakho. Mncome umfazi wakho kusapho lwakhe. Umfazi wakho uya kukuxabisa ngokwenene oku.

Ungaze ukujongele phantsi ukubaluleka kwezinto ezibonakala zincinane njengokubeka ukutya emlonyeni womfazi wakho, emvulela ucango lwemoto, njl.
Zamani ukusoloko nifumana ixesha lokuba nobabini nithandaze kunye. Ukomeleza iqhina phakathi kwakho no-Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala sesona siqinisekiso silungileyo sokuba owakho umtshato uya kuhlala womelele.. Ukuba noxolo kunye no-Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala kuya kuhlala kukhokelela ekubeni noxolo ngakumbi ekhaya.