Pin Eleyi
Ibeere
Is love before marriage better? Kini iduroṣinṣin diẹ sii ninu Islam, igbeyawo ife tabi igbeyawo ti a ṣeto?
Idahun
Ope ni fun Olohun.
Ọrọ ti igbeyawo yii da lori idajọ lori ohun ti o wa ṣaaju rẹ. Ti ifẹ ti o wa laarin awọn ẹgbẹ mejeeji ko ba kọja awọn aala ti Ọlọhun fi lelẹ tabi jẹ ki wọn ṣẹ, lẹhinna ireti wa pe igbeyawo ti o wa lati inu ifẹ yii yoo jẹ iduroṣinṣin diẹ sii, nitori pe o wa nitori abajade ti o daju pe olukuluku wọn fẹ lati fẹ ekeji.
Ti ọkunrin kan ba ni ifamọra diẹ si obinrin ti o jẹ iyọọda fun u lati fẹ, ati idakeji, ko si idahun si iṣoro naa ayafi igbeyawo. Anabi (ikẹ ati ọla Ọlọhun o maa ba a) sọ: “A ko ro pe ohunkohun dara fun awọn ti o nifẹ ara wọn ju igbeyawo lọ.” (Ibn Maajah lo gbe wa jade, 1847; ti a ṣe bi saheeh nipasẹ al-Busayri ati nipasẹ Shaykh al-Albaani ninu al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 624)
Al-Sindi sọ, gege bi a ti se akiyesi ninu Haamish Sunan Ibn Maajah:
Gbólóhùn náà “A kò rò pé kò sí ohun tí ó sàn fún àwọn tí wọ́n nífẹ̀ẹ́ ara wọn ju ìgbéyàwó lọ” láti tọ́ka sí méjì tàbí ju méjì lọ.. Ohun ti eleyi tumo si ni wipe ti ife ba wa laarin eniyan meji, pe ifẹ ko le pọ si tabi jẹ ki o pẹ nipasẹ ohunkohun bi igbeyawo. Ti igbeyawo ba wa bakanna bi ife naa, pé ìfẹ́ yóò máa pọ̀ sí i, yóò sì máa lágbára sí i lójoojúmọ́.”
Ṣugbọn ti igbeyawo yẹn ba waye nitori abajade ibatan ifẹ ti ko tọ, bí ìgbà tí wọ́n bá pàdé tí wọ́n dá wà papọ̀ tí wọ́n sì fi ẹnu ko ara wọn lẹ́nì kìíní-kejì, ati awpn i§?, nigbana kii yoo jẹ iduroṣinṣin, nitori pe wọn ṣe awọn iṣe ti o lodi si sharee’ah ati nitori pe wọn ti gbe igbesi aye wọn le lori awọn ohun ti yoo ni ipa ti idinku awọn ibukun ati atilẹyin lati ọdọ Ọlọhun., nítorí ẹ̀ṣẹ̀ jẹ́ kókó pàtàkì kan nínú dídín ìbùkún kù, bi o tile je pe awon kan ro, nítorí àfojúsùn Èṣù, pé kíkó ìfẹ́ àti ṣíṣe ìṣekúṣe ń mú kí ìgbéyàwó túbọ̀ lágbára.
Jubẹlọ, àwọn ìbáṣepọ̀ tí kò bófin mu tí ń ṣẹlẹ̀ ṣáájú ìgbéyàwó yóò jẹ́ ohun tí yóò mú kí ẹnì kọ̀ọ̀kan máa ṣiyèméjì nípa ẹnì kejì rẹ̀. Ọkọ náà máa rò pé aya òun lè ní irú àjọṣe kan náà pẹ̀lú ẹlòmíràn, ati paapa ti o ba ti o bar o išẹlẹ ti, yóò sì máa dà á láàmú nígbà tí aya rẹ̀ ṣe ohun tí kò tọ́ sí òun. Ati awọn ero kanna le ṣẹlẹ si iyawo paapaa, yóò sì rò pé ó ṣeé ṣe kí ọkọ òun ní ìbálòpọ̀ pẹ̀lú obìnrin mìíràn, ati paapa ti o ba ti o bar o išẹlẹ ti, yóò sì máa dà á láàmú nígbà tí ọkọ rẹ̀ ṣe ohun tí kò tọ́ sí i.
Nitorina alabaṣepọ kọọkan yoo gbe ni ipo ti iyemeji ati ifura, eyi ti yoo ba ibatan wọn jẹ laipẹ tabi ya.
Ọkọ náà lè dá ìyàwó rẹ̀ lẹ́bi torí pé ó ti gbà láti ní àjọṣe pẹ̀lú rẹ̀ ṣáájú ìgbéyàwó, èyí tí yóò bínú fún un, eyi yoo si mu ki ibatan wọn bajẹ.
Nítorí náà, a rò pé bí ìgbéyàwó bá dá lórí ìbátan tí kò bófin mu ṣáájú ìgbéyàwó, o ṣeese julọ yoo jẹ riru ati pe kii yoo ṣe aṣeyọri.
Pẹlu iyi si idayatọ igbeyawo ibi ti ebi yan awọn alabaṣepọ, gbogbo wọn kii ṣe rere ati kii ṣe gbogbo wọn buru. Ti idile ba ṣe yiyan ti o dara ti obinrin naa jẹ ẹsin ati lẹwa, ọkọ sì fẹ́ràn rẹ̀ ó sì fẹ́ ẹ, lẹhinna ireti wa pe igbeyawo wọn yoo jẹ iduroṣinṣin ati aṣeyọri. Nitori naa Anabi (ikẹ ati ọla Ọlọhun o maa ba a) ro eniti o fe se igbeyawo lati wo obinrin naa. O wa lati odo al-Mugheerah ibn Shu’bah pe o dabaa igbeyawo pelu obinrin, ati Anabi (ikẹ ati ọla Ọlọhun o maa ba a) sọ, “Lọ wò ó, nitori pe iyẹn ṣee ṣe lati ṣẹda ifẹ laarin yin.” (al-Tirmidhi ni o gba wa jade, 1087; classed as hasan nipasẹ al-Nasaa’i, 3235)
Ṣugbọn ti idile ba ṣe yiyan buburu, tabi ti won yan ti o dara sugbon oko ko ni gba pẹlu o, lẹhinna igbeyawo yii ṣee ṣe julọ ti iparun si ikuna ati aisedeede, nitori igbeyawo ti o da lori aini anfani nigbagbogbo ko duro.
Allāhu sì mọ̀ jùlọ.
Orisun: Islam Q&A
Jọwọ Darapọ mọ oju-iwe Facebook wa: Oko Musulumi Bojumu
i agree,my situation is this ive been married 2,i now met a beautiful,religous women an we so inlove i approachd da parents but the sed no cos i was married 2,they want 2 arrange a marriage 4 òun,so wot i can say is some of our umah use the deen onli wen it suites them
seems like whoever replied to this is a very male oriented person. Islam gives women equal rights. It not always about women being beautiful and a man not liking the woman chosen for him. It can equally be the other way round.
Also another problem massively faced these days, two people like each other and want to get married right away, the families however have a lot of socio cultural demands which either leads to delaying a marriage or refusing to the proposal altogether. In many cases that i have seen, those in love dont stop and hence it leads to gunah. Their justification to it is that they wanted the right away and adopted it, their parents didnt. Its sad how there are these worldly requirements that leads to such serarios when the answer is simple and just needs cooperation from parents. I wonder if its right for either of the two in love to marry someone else chosen by their family whom they dont love. Loving someone else and being a spouse to someone else is again extremely wrong. May Allah guide us the right path and help us in such hardships!
Jazakallah
Mo gba fun ọ, also Allah tells us that we have to obey our parents, but we shouldnt when they tell us something that ccontradicts with islam, for xample what if someone loves someone, and theyre both good muslims, and then the guys parents say oh no you cant marry her because shes not the same culture, there are no races in islam, Allah and the prophet told us that in an authentic hadith that no race is greater or bettter than another, and in the Quran “And we have made you into different tribes so that you may know one another” If marriage was based on culture why didn’t the prophet sallalahu alaihi wa salam ever say in a hadith “you should marry from your own race because it will be easier on you”, it just makes me so upset and tired to hear this kind of stuff that culture is a barrier for marriage, i never thought it would even be a prerequisite, culture is nothing its your language where you were born what kind of food you eat and thats it, some muslims these days just block out deen when it comes to marraige and look at culture
@sana: i like your comment and the question posed by you…. well i will not go too deep in details but in short the solution is we need to educate ourself about what our deen (Islam) wí pé: Which is what Allah SWT commands us and what Prophet Muhammad PBUH has guided us….
If we follow it then there would not be such issues…. but the matter fact is that we dont have time for learning our Deen….
May Allah SWT guide us all to the righteous path….
@sana
I will answer about the last part, where u were wondering, If two people who were in love with each other, should marry some one else ( presumably of their parents choice ), O dara, I will answer you through Qur’an
Chap 2 Vrs 235 – ”
And there is no sin on you if you make a hint of betrothal or conceal it in yourself, Allah knows that you will remember them ”
Notice the part where Allah says, Allah knows that you will remember them ”
To put it simply, I think, its clear that if you love some1, you propose to them and you should try and marry them, by this verse.
Aoa.
@ Salman Ibn Ahmed
I just wanted to say that the ayah from the Quran that you have quoted here does not apply to this situation. If you read the whole ayah and the ayah before it too, you will know that this ayah refers specifically to the women who are in the period of iddat ie mourning after their husband has passed away. It is instruction for a man who sees this woman, or hears about her and would like to propose to her.
Allāhu sì mọ̀ jùlọ.