Wedding Da'wah Ideas

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Mai vei Aysha Sezer

Ena yaca ni Kalou, Dauloloma Duadua, O Koya sa Dauloloma Vakalevu Sara

Au a soqo ni vakamau ena June ni 2008. Au nanuma rawa na siga ni vakamau, me vakataka e vuqa na yalewa vakawati au vakabauta, sai koya ni sa sivia sara vakatotolo. Kidavaki ira na vulagi, vakarorogo ki na khutbah, taro ena vica na itakitaki kakana, ka sa ikoya sara ga oqori! Ia, na kena tarai cake me yacova na 'siga levu', a volai tu ena noqu vakanananu, e okati kina na tuvatuva, tuvalaki, ka levu tale na navunavuci, salavata kei na nuiqawaqawa, lomaocaoca kei na veivakasaurarataki me vakamarautaki ira na tamata kecega. Ena gauna era nuitaka kece kina na, ka tuvanaka e dua mada ga na vakamau ena nodrau bula, e vica vei keda eda segata vakaidina me vakalomavinakataka na noda Dauveibuli, Na Kalou, ka vakayagataka na madigi oqo me veisureti kina sala ni soli iko kei na soro vua na Turaga?

Tukuna na Parofita o Josefa vua na Kalou o Alaihi : “O ira era tiko e kea e dodonu me ra vakadewataka (na noqu itukutuku) kivei ira era sega ni”. [Al-Sakhaari]

Nanuma tiko! E levu sara na icocovi nei Da'wah. A kaya na Parofita o Asilailaila: “O koya ga e dusimaka e dua ki na vinaka, ena ciqoma na kena isau vua e dua e cakacakataka tiko.” [Lotu Vaka-Lotu]

Ena sega beka ni takosova na noda vakasama, ia na vakamau sa dua dina na madigi vinaka ni da'waho. E sega walega ni lisi ni vulagi dokai ena drau, ia e vakavuqa ni ra lewena eso na mataqali tamata oka kina na iwasewase ni tamata sega ni Vakabauta kei ira era sega ni dau rokova na Vakabauta. Ena noda tuvanaka me da cakava na nona cakacaka bibi duadua na Parofita o Josefa (me tiko ga vua na vakacegu) ena vakamau, e rawa ni da uqeta e rua na manumanu ena dua na vatu ka vakatetea na ivakavuvuli ni Vakabauta mai na noda ivakaraitaki kei na vosa, ka rawata vakalevu cake kina na marau kei na icocovi ni Kalou (me kakua ni yaco). What follows is a collection of a few ideas on how this noble aim can be implemented; if you’re already married, I recommend reading and sharing these ideas with any prospective bride or groom you are acquainted with, or picking and mixing from relevant ideas to apply to virtually any event!

1. Plan according to the Qur’an and Sunnah

This is probably the single most important factor in determining, not only the blessings of the marriage itself, but its da’wah potential. The more the teachings of Islam are followed in the wedding party, avoiding the likes of extravagant spending, serving of alcohol, and free-mixing of the sexes, the more the pleasure of Allah will be attained insAllah, and the more blessed will commence the union of the husband and wife. Me kena ikuri, because of the seeming decline in weddings planned entirely according to the sharee’ah and teachings of the Prophet Muhammad (raica), the more extra-ordinary your party is likely to be, the more attention and intrigue generated on the part of the guests, and the more questions raised. The simplicity and beauty of Islam has always drawn people to the religion; it saddens me that many of us, myself included, have lost touch with this essence of our religion.

2. Invite non-Muslim guests and pre-arrange seating

Whether it be your work colleagues, neighbours or other acquaintance, try to include non-Muslims in your guest list. It might also be a good idea to pre-determine seating in your event, so that non-Muslims are not isolated and are made to feel part of the celebration. If they are seated next to knowledgeable Muslims, then this would give them an additional chance to ask questions and engage with the unfamiliar practices. Me kena ikuri, if these Muslims were told prior to the event that they would be seated next to non-Muslims and a request were made for them to actively converse with the guests, then this could be even more effective. In essence therefore, depending on your depth of planning, non-Muslims can be made to feel not just welcome, but can leave the wedding party with new insight into Islamic belief and practices.

3. Islamic table decor

Whilst wedding table decor serves the purpose of beautifying the venue, we can also adapt certain pieces or incorporate that which is of extra benefit to the guests. Me kena ivakaraitaki, for my own wedding party, I prepared small table place cards, hand-written with selected lines of hadith and, if my memory serves me, even some verses from the Holy Qur’an. A few were placed on every table and guests not only had the opportunity to read this during the wedding itself, but were taking them away. This is an easy method to implement, cost-effective and hopefully leaves a lasting impression – where the guests have taken away and displayed the cards at home.

Using your imagination, I am sure you can come up with many other methods of using table decor as a da’wah tool!

4. Islamic khutbah

A brief, but well-planned and delivered Islamic reminder also serves as an excellent direct da’wah method. I feel it is vital to pick a good speaker and pre-arrange the topics to be discussed, as this will allow more direct targeting of the message and serve to capture the audience. Unfortunately, many a time I have been dissappointed with the quality of the speech and speaker, thus my emphasis of this point.

Topics to be discussed could range from the typical purposes of marriage, to the religious reasons behind the structure of the wedding party i.e. the separation of sexes, absence of alcohol etc. in an attempt to address some of the questions undoubtedly raised in the minds of the guests. Ideally the recurrent message binding the speech together will be our belief in One, All-knowing and All-wise God, for Whose pleasure we have gathered to perform the wedding ceremony, and in Whose obedience we avoid the unlawful e.g. intimate relations outside of marriage, free-mixing of the sexes, drinking of alcohol etc. A clear distinction should be made between cultural and religious practices, so as to effectively fulfill the intention of da’wah.

5. The prayer

Prayer is pivotal in the life of a Muslim, and like all our days, we should try to plan our wedding party around the prayer times, being careful not to become negligent in this regard. InsAllah the importance we afford to the prayer on the wedding day itself will be duly rewarded with further blessings for our wedded life together.

If there is an opportunity to pray in a mass congregation, this would also be of great benefit, as well as excellent da’wah. If the wedding ceremony is held in a masjid, or there is a masjid nearby, then ideally congregational prayers can be performed at its best, with maximal reward (for men). Ena kisi oqo, non-Muslims can also be made to witness the congregation, by being invited along to watch the prayers.

Women can also hold a congregation amongst themselves, so that they may attain the virtue and reward of praying in congregation. The greater the numbers and importance attached to the prayer, k.v. through the provision of a specified prayer space (in view of all female guests), the greater the da’wah impact insAllah; we hope this will also serve as an encouragement for not-so-observant Muslims to fulfill their obligation.

As with all acts, we must bear in mind that our prayer is solely for the pleasure of Allah (me kakua ni yaco), and we must be clear to differentiate in our intention any benefits derived as regards da’wah or whatever else as not the reason for our prayer, but we only hope through the mercy of Allah (me kakua ni yaco) that our actions will also serve as a reminder and good example for the whole of humanity.

6. Minimise food waste

The significance of food wastage Islamically is well-known. Au a, however quite taken aback recently when a Muslim lady in attendance at my brothers wedding, tearfully commented: “this is the first Muslim wedding I’ve been to where food hasn’t been wasted”. The comment was made as uneaten food was being gathered on one table, as we were trying to decide what to do with it all. It had’nt occured to me before this time, that even this seemingly small aspect of a wedding party can be a means of da’wah, as we strive to spread good advice with our actions.

O koya gona, it would be useful if the prospective bride and groom could make pre-arrangements as to the delivery of leftover food to appropriate sources of need e.g. friends/family, homeless shelters or some even to animal homes (less humanly-edible pieces of food ideally).

7. Islamic gifts/favours

It is customary in many weddings, as a token of appreciation, to give the guests a small favour or gift at the close of the celebration. This is usually something edible, encased in pretty packaging with a souvenioural message. I have rarely seen this utilised maximally however, by way of Islamic messages or Islamic gifts. Me kena ivakaraitaki, why not include translated ayat from the Qur’an or verses of hadith (a bit like the table place cards?) which guests can take away? Or if you can afford it, pocket-size translated Qur’ans or Islamic booklets detailing marriage in Islam or other appropriate topic. Some of these can be very cheaply obtained, or at no cost, from da’wah organisations or you can try Islamic bookshops.

Me kena itinitini, with a little bit of extra planning, it is possible to make your wedding experience more wholesome and educational for your guests, as well as greatly increase the personal benefit and reward derived in calling to Allah (me kakua ni yaco). Even if just one, or a few of the preceding ideas are implemented, the impact, as discussed, can potentially be great. I look forward to your comments, and any other ideas you can think of!

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