Aqsam Dan
Mistoqsija
Is love before marriage better? X'inhu aktar stabbli fl-Islam, żwieġ tal-imħabba jew żwieġ irranġat?
Tweġiba
Tifħir lil Alla.
Il-kwistjoni ta’ dan iż-żwieġ tiddependi fuq id-deċiżjoni dwar dak li ġie qabel. Jekk l-imħabba bejn iż-żewġ partijiet ma kisritx il-limiti stabbiliti minn Alla jew iġiegħelhom jagħmlu dnub, imbagħad hemm it-tama li ż-żwieġ li jirriżulta minn din l-imħabba jkun aktar stabbli, għax seħħet bħala riżultat tal-fatt li kull wieħed minnhom ried jiżżewweġ lill-ieħor.
Jekk raġel iħoss xi attrazzjoni lejn mara li huwa permess għalih li jiżżewweġha, u viċi versa, m'hemm l-ebda tweġiba għall-problema ħlief iż-żwieġ. Il-Profeta (il-paċi u t-tberik ta’ Allah ikunu fuqu) qal: “Ma naħsbux li hemm xi ħaġa aħjar għal dawk li jħobbu lil xulxin miż-żwieġ.” (Irrakkontat minn Ibn Maajah, 1847; ikklassifikat bħala saheeh minn al-Busayri u minn Shaykh al-Albaani f'al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 624)
Al-Sindi qal, kif innutat f'Haamish Sunan Ibn Maajah:
Il-frażi “Ma naħsbux li hemm xi ħaġa aħjar għal dawk li jħobbu lil xulxin miż-żwieġ” tista’ tinftiehem li tirreferi għal tnejn jew għal aktar minn tnejn.. Dan ifisser li jekk ikun hemm imħabba bejn żewġ persuni, li l-imħabba ma tistax tiżdied jew li ddum aktar b’xi ħaġa bħal żwieġ. Jekk hemm iż-żwieġ kif ukoll dik l-imħabba, li l-imħabba tiżdied u tissaħħaħ kuljum.”
Imma jekk dak iż-żwieġ iseħħ bħala riżultat ta 'relazzjoni ta' mħabba illeċita, bħal meta jiltaqgħu u jkunu weħidhom flimkien u jbusu lil xulxin, u azzjonijiet haraam oħra, allura qatt mhu se jkun stabbli, għax wettqu azzjonijiet li jmorru kontra s-share'ah u għax bnew ħajjithom fuq affarijiet li se jkollhom l-effett li jnaqqsu t-tberik u l-appoġġ minn Alla, għax id-dnub huwa fattur ewlieni fit-tnaqqis tal-barkiet, anke jekk xi nies jaħsbu, minħabba l-whispers tax-Shaytaan, li l-imħabba u l-għemil tal-ħaram jagħmel iż-żwieġ aktar b'saħħtu.
Barra minn hekk, dawn ir-relazzjonijiet illeċiti li jseħħu qabel iż-żwieġ ikunu kawża biex kull parti tkun dubjuża dwar l-oħra. Ir- raġel se jaħseb li martu jistaʼ jkollha relazzjoni simili maʼ xi ħadd ieħor, u anke jekk jaħseb li mhux probabbli, xorta se jkun inkwetat mill-fatt li martu għamlet xi ħaġa ħażina miegħu. U l-istess ħsibijiet jistgħu jseħħu lill-mara wkoll, u hi se taħseb li żewġha jistaʼ possibbilment ikollu relazzjoni maʼ mara oħra, u anke jekk taħseb li mhux probabbli, xorta se tkun inkwetata bil-fatt li żewġha għamel xi ħaġa ħażina magħha.
Allura kull sieħeb se jgħix fi stat ta 'dubju u suspett, li llum jew għada se jħassru r-relazzjoni tagħhom.
Ir-raġel jista’ jikkundanna lil martu talli qablet li jkollu relazzjoni miegħu qabel iż-żwieġ, li se tkun taqlib għaliha, u dan iwassal biex ir-relazzjoni tagħhom tiddeterjora.
Għalhekk naħsbu li jekk żwieġ ikun ibbażat fuq relazzjoni illeċita qabel iż-żwieġ, aktarx ikun instabbli u mhux se jirnexxi.
Fir-rigward taż-żwiġijiet irranġati fejn il-familja tagħżel is-sieħeb, mhumiex kollha tajbin u mhux kollha ħżiena. Jekk il-familja tagħmel għażla tajba u l-mara hija reliġjuża u sabiħa, u r-raġel jogħġobha u jrid jiżżewweġha, imbagħad hemm it-tama li ż-żwieġ tagħhom ikun stabbli u ta’ suċċess. Għalhekk il-Profeta (il-paċi u t-tberik ta’ Allah ikunu fuqu) ħeġġeġ lil min irid jiżżewweġ biex iħares lejn il-mara. Kien irrakkontat minn al-Mugheerah ibn Shu’bah li ppropona żwieġ lil mara, u l-Profeta (il-paċi u t-tberik ta’ Allah ikunu fuqu) qal, “Mur u ħares lejha, għax dan huwa aktar probabbli li joħloq l-imħabba bejnietkom.” (Irrakkontat minn al-Tirmidhi, 1087; ikklassifikat bħala hasan minn al-Nasaa’i, 3235)
Imma jekk il-familja tagħmel għażla ħażina, jew jagħmlu għażla tajba imma r-raġel ma jaqbilx magħha, allura dan iż-żwieġ aktarx hu kkundannat għall-falliment u l-instabbiltà, għax iż-żwieġ li huwa bbażat fuq nuqqas ta’ interess normalment ma jkunx stabbli.
U Allah jaf l-aħjar.
Sors: Islam Q&A
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i agree,my situation is this ive been married 2,i now met a beautiful,religous women an we so inlove i approachd da parents but the sed no cos i was married 2,they want 2 arrange a marriage 4 tagħha,so wot i can say is some of our umah use the deen onli wen it suites them
seems like whoever replied to this is a very male oriented person. Islam gives women equal rights. It not always about women being beautiful and a man not liking the woman chosen for him. It can equally be the other way round.
Also another problem massively faced these days, two people like each other and want to get married right away, the families however have a lot of socio cultural demands which either leads to delaying a marriage or refusing to the proposal altogether. In many cases that i have seen, those in love dont stop and hence it leads to gunah. Their justification to it is that they wanted the right away and adopted it, their parents didnt. Its sad how there are these worldly requirements that leads to such serarios when the answer is simple and just needs cooperation from parents. I wonder if its right for either of the two in love to marry someone else chosen by their family whom they dont love. Loving someone else and being a spouse to someone else is again extremely wrong. May Allah guide us the right path and help us in such hardships!
Jazakallah
naqbel miegħek, also Allah tells us that we have to obey our parents, but we shouldnt when they tell us something that ccontradicts with islam, for xample what if someone loves someone, and theyre both good muslims, and then the guys parents say oh no you cant marry her because shes not the same culture, there are no races in islam, Allah and the prophet told us that in an authentic hadith that no race is greater or bettter than another, and in the Quran “And we have made you into different tribes so that you may know one another” If marriage was based on culture why didn’t the prophet sallalahu alaihi wa salam ever say in a hadith “you should marry from your own race because it will be easier on you”, it just makes me so upset and tired to hear this kind of stuff that culture is a barrier for marriage, i never thought it would even be a prerequisite, culture is nothing its your language where you were born what kind of food you eat and thats it, some muslims these days just block out deen when it comes to marraige and look at culture
@sana: i like your comment and the question posed by you…. well i will not go too deep in details but in short the solution is we need to educate ourself about what our deen (Iżlam) jgħid: Which is what Allah SWT commands us and what Prophet Muhammad PBUH has guided us….
If we follow it then there would not be such issues…. but the matter fact is that we dont have time for learning our Deen….
May Allah SWT guide us all to the righteous path….
@sana
I will answer about the last part, where u were wondering, If two people who were in love with each other, should marry some one else ( presumably of their parents choice ), Ukoll, I will answer you through Qur’an
Chap 2 Vrs 235 – ”
And there is no sin on you if you make a hint of betrothal or conceal it in yourself, Allah knows that you will remember them ”
Notice the part where Allah says, Allah knows that you will remember them ”
To put it simply, naħseb, its clear that if you love some1, you propose to them and you should try and marry them, by this verse.
Aoa.
@ Salman Ibn Ahmed
I just wanted to say that the ayah from the Quran that you have quoted here does not apply to this situation. If you read the whole ayah and the ayah before it too, you will know that this ayah refers specifically to the women who are in the period of iddat ie mourning after their husband has passed away. It is instruction for a man who sees this woman, or hears about her and would like to propose to her.
u Alla jaf l-aħjar.