Ponyani Chithumwa chaching'ono

Wolemba Ukwati Wangwiro - December, 25th 2011

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Kukhala Wachikondi
Tinanena kuti chosowa chachikulu cha mkazi kwa mwamuna wake ndicho kutengeka maganizo. Amafuna kugawana kugwirizana kwamalingaliro kutengera chikondi, kudzipereka ndi kuvomereza. Mwamuna wabwino ayenera kukonda mkazi wake monga munthu (kutanthauza umunthu wake) komanso ngati mkazi (kutanthauza thupi lake lakuthupi).

Njira imodzi imene mwamuna angakwaniritsire chosoŵa chamaganizo chimenechi ndi mwa chikondi. Munthawi ya 'honeymoon’ chikondi ndi chosavuta kwa amuna ambiri. Izi zili choncho chifukwa chilichonse chokhudza ubalewu ndi chatsopano komanso chosangalatsa; mwamuna nthawi zonse akulota za mkazi wake ndipo amafunitsitsa kulankhula naye. Ndikosavuta kuti abambo akhale otchera khutu ndikuwonetsa kukhudzika kwambiri panthawiyi.

Koma chikondi chenicheni ndi pamene mwamuna amapitiriza izi ngakhale pambuyo pa ‘honeymoon’ gawo. Ndi pamene mwamuna amayesetsa kusunga banja, amaganizira njira zosangalatsira mkazi wake, ndipo moona mtima amayesetsa kumupangitsa kumva kuti amakondedwa ndi kuyamikiridwa.

Tsoka ilo, pambuyo pa honeymoon gawo, chikondi chimasiya kukopa amuna ambiri, ndipo kwenikweni amakhala wovuta komanso ngakhale wosakhala wachirengedwe! Koma Alhamdulillah, sizovuta, ndi cholinga ndi maganizo oyenera, zachikondi zitha kuphunziridwanso mosavuta.
Pali njira zambiri zomwe mwamuna angasonyezere chikondi. Tiyeni tiyambe ndi kutchula mitundu iwiri ya chikondi:

1. Chikondi chongochitika mwachisawawa: Izi ndi zinthu zing’onozing’ono zimene mwamuna amachita kusonyeza chikondi popanda kusonkhezeredwa. Lingaliro lofunikira apa ndikuti likhale lokhazikika. Chinthu chodabwitsa ndichofunika kwambiri! Sizimene mumachita zomwe zili zofunika kwambiri monga kungochita zinthu zaumwini. Izi zingaphatikizepo kumutumizira uthenga woti "Ndimakukondani " kudzera palemba, imelo, kapena cholemba chomata choikidwa pamalo abwino. Zitsanzo zina ndi monga kumugulira mphatso yosayembekezereka, kapena kumukumbatira molimba kapena kumpsompsona mwachikondi pamene sakuyembekezera. Zimenezi zimathandiza kuti banja likhale lamoyo, pamene imabweretsa chisangalalo ndi kutentha mu ubale. Kuchita zimenezi modzidzimutsa kumathandiza kusungunula mkwiyo uliwonse umene ungabwere.

2. Kumvera Romance: Izi ndizochitika zomwe mwamuna amachita poyang'ana zomwe zikuchitika. Zimachitika pamene mwamuna apeza mkazi wake m’maganizo kapena mwakuthupi. Mwachitsanzo, kuyitanitsa chakudya kunja ngati tsiku lake linali lotanganidwa; kumusisita ngati msana ukupweteka; kapena kungokhala naye pansi ndi kumumvetsera ngati wakhumudwa ndi zomwe zinachitika. Zochita izi zimasonyeza chisamaliro chenicheni, ndi kulimbitsa ndi kulimbitsa ubale wa m’banja.

Zoona zake n’zakuti amuna ambiri amachita mantha ndi mawu akuti ‘chikondi’ amaona kuti nzowaposa. Komabe chikondi chenicheni sichinthu chochuluka kapena chocheperapo kuposa kuyamikira mkazi yemwe ali, kumusamalira iye, ndi kumusamalira.

Kumbukirani Hadith yabwino yomwe Mtumiki wathu wokondedwa salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam anafanizira akazi “zombo zosalimba” ndipo adatikumbutsa kuti tizikhala odekha ndi iwo (Adanenedwa ndi al-Bukhari). Mwamaganizo, akazi ndi osiyana ndi amuna, ndipo kuteteza zombo zosalimba izi m'njira iliyonse zotheka ndikwabwino kwambiri (ndi zachilengedwe kwambiri) ntchito yomwe amuna angathe kuchita.

Malangizo ochepa achikondi

Amuna amaona kuti kusonyeza chikondi kumakhala kovuta . ambiri amaganiza kuti chilichonse chimene angachite chidzaonedwa kuti n’chachipongwe komanso chosaona mtima. Iwo amaganiza mozama kwambiri za nzeru zosonyeza kusonyeza zimenezi, ndi kuiwala kuti ndilo lingaliro lomwe limafunikira!

Njira imodzi yopezera chikondi chenicheni ndiyo kulankhula mawu otonthoza ndi olimbikitsa kwa mkazi wanu . mawu osonyeza chikondi chanu ndi kukopa kwanu kwa iye. Kunena kuti ‘Ndimakukondani’ pamene mukutanthauza kuti nthawi zonse amachita zodabwitsa kwa ubale. Kuphatikiza apo, mkazi nthawi zonse amakonda kumva mwamuna wake akutamanda maonekedwe ake, makamaka akavala ndikukonzekera. Amuna akuyeneranso kumvetsetsa kuti kuseka nthabwala za .akazi achiwiri. sizoseketsa chabe; zimapweteka maganizo a mkazi mwa kumpangitsa kudziona kukhala wosakwanira, ndipo amapeputsa chikondi chapadera chimene okwatirana ayenera kukhala nacho (chonde dziwani kuti nkhani si nkhani ya mitala, koma maganizo opupuluma omwe amuna ambiri achisilamu ali nawo pa izo).

Njira ina yosavuta yosonyezera chikondi ndi kugwirana kosagonana. Mwa ‘kusagonana’ tikutanthauza kukhudza komwe sikutsogolera mwachindunji kugonana. Khungu la amayi limakhudzidwa kwambiri ndi kukhudza ndi kukakamizidwa kuwirikiza kakhumi kuposa la abambo ndipo limakhala ndi oxytocin wambiri. (amatchedwanso "cuddle" hormone), yomwe ndi hormone yomwe imapangitsa kuti munthu ayambe kukhudzidwa. N’chifukwa chake akazi ambiri ankakonda kukwatiwa, kukhudza ndi kusisita.

Zina mwa njira zomwe kukhudza kungaphatikizidwe m'moyo watsiku ndi tsiku ndi kukumbatirana kosavuta, kugwirana chanza mukuyenda kapena mukuyankhula, kusisita tsitsi lake pamene mukumvetsera kwa iye, kapena kugwira ndi kusisita mbali iliyonse ya thupi lake pamene akumasuka kapena atagona. Pogwira thupi lake, mumamutsimikizira kuti mumamupezabe wokongola komanso wokongola.

Pewani kupapasa (i.e., 'kukhudza kugonana') pa nthawi zovuta . zochita zotere zimalepheretsa mkazi. Nthawi zambiri akazi amakonda kuchitiridwa zinthu mofatsa komanso mwachikondi. Izi ndi zoona makamaka kwa amayi omwe ali ndi ana. Nthawi zambiri mayi amakhala tsiku lonse ndi ana akumukoka ndi kumukokera, choncho safuna kukhudza kofananako ndi mwamuna wake! M'malo mwake, amafunikira kusamaliridwa kwambiri, kukhudza kosamalira.

Amuna amapeputsa kufunikira ndi zotsatira za kugwirana kosagonana, popeza iwo eni alibe chikhumbo ichi. Khungu la mwamuna ndi lalitali, ndipo amatulutsa oxytocin wochepa (hormone ya "cuddle".) choncho mkazi akamaseweretsa tsitsi la mwamuna kapena kumugwira dzanja sizikhala ndi zotsatira zofanana pa iye. Komabe kwa mkazi, kukhudza ndikosavuta, njira yamphamvu kwambiri yomupangitsa kuti azimva kukondedwa komanso kukongola.

Mulungu asangalale nawo
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