Gawani Izi
Funso
Ines love before marriage better? Zomwe zili zokhazikika mu Islam, ukwati wachikondi kapena banja lokonzekera?
Yankhani
Kuyamikidwa nkwa Allah.
Nkhani ya ukwati umenewu imadalira chigamulo cha zomwe zidadza patsogolo pake. Ngati chikondi chapakati pawo Sichinapyole malire amene Mulungu adawakhazikitsa, kapena kuwachita tchimo, ndiye pali chiyembekezo chakuti ukwati umene umabwera chifukwa cha chikondi chimenechi udzakhala wokhazikika, chifukwa zinadza chifukwa chakuti aliyense wa iwo anafuna kukwatira mnzake.
Ngati mwamuna amva kukopeka ndi mkazi amene nkololedwa kwa iye kumukwatira, ndi mosemphanitsa, palibe yankho ku vuto koma ukwati. Mneneri (mtendere ndi madalitso a Allah zikhale pa iye) adatero: "Sitikuganiza kuti pali china chabwino kwa omwe amakondana kuposa ukwati." (Adanenedwa ndi Ibn Maajah, 1847; wolembedwa kuti saheeh ndi al-Busayri ndi Shaykh al-Albaaniy mu al-Silsilah al-Swahiyhah, 624)
Al-Sindi anatero, monga momwe zalembedwera mu Haamish Sunan Ibn Maajah:
Mawu akuti “Sitikuganiza kuti pali china chabwino kwa amene amakondana kuposa ukwati” angatanthauze anthu awiri kapena oposa awiri.. Izi zikutanthauza kuti ngati pali chikondi pakati pa anthu awiri, chikondicho sichingaonjezeke kapena kupangidwa kukhala nthawi yaitali ndi chirichonse monga ukwati. Ngati pali ukwati komanso chikondi chimenecho, chikondi chimenecho chidzakula ndikukula kwambiri tsiku lililonse.”
Koma ngati ukwatiwo ubwera chifukwa cha ubale wachikondi wosaloleka, monga akakumana ndi kukhala paokha ndi kupsopsonana, ndi zochita zina za haraam, ndiye sichidzakhala chokhazikika, chifukwa chakuti iwo adachita zinthu zosemphana ndi sharee’ah ndi chifukwa adamanga miyoyo yawo pa zinthu zomwe zidzawachepetsere madalitso ndi chithandizo chochokera kwa Allah., pakuti uchimo ndi chinthu chachikulu chochepetsera madalitso, ngakhale anthu ena amaganiza, chifukwa cha manong'onong'o a satana, kuti kugwa mchikondi ndi kuchita ntchito za haraam kumapangitsa banja kukhala lolimba.
Komanso, maubwenzi osalolekawa amene amachitika asanakwatirane adzakhala chifukwa chopangitsa aliyense kukayikira mnzake. Mwamuna angaganize kuti mkazi wake angakhalenso ndi unansi wotero ndi munthu wina, ndipo ngakhale akuganiza kuti sizingatheke, akakhalabe ndi nkhawa poona kuti mkazi wake anamulakwira. Ndipo maganizo omwewo angabwerenso kwa mkazi, ndipo adzaganiza kuti mwamuna wake akhoza kukhala pachibwenzi ndi mkazi wina, ndipo ngakhale akuganiza kuti sizingatheke, akakhalabe ndi nkhawa poona kuti mwamuna wake anamulakwira.
Choncho wokondedwa aliyense adzakhala mu chikaiko ndi kukaikira, zomwe zingawononge ubale wawo posachedwa.
Mwamuna angadzudzule mkazi wake chifukwa chovomereza kukhala naye pachibwenzi asanalowe m’banja, zomwe zingakhale zokhumudwitsa kwa iye, ndipo izi zidzasokoneza ubale wawo.
Chifukwa chake timaganiza kuti ngati ukwati wazikidwa pa unansi wosaloleka m’banja, chidzakhala chosakhazikika ndipo sichidzapambana.
Pankhani ya maukwati okonzedwa kumene banja limasankha bwenzi, onse si abwino ndipo si onse oipa. Ngati banja lipanga chisankho chabwino ndipo mkaziyo ndi wachipembedzo komanso wokongola, ndipo mwamuna amamukonda ndipo akufuna kumukwatira, pamenepo pali chiyembekezo chakuti ukwati wawo udzakhala wokhazikika ndi wachipambano. Choncho Mneneri (mtendere ndi madalitso a Allah zikhale pa iye) analimbikitsa amene akufuna kukwatira kuti ayang'ane mkaziyo. Adachokera kwa al-Mugheerah ibn Shu’bah kuti adafunsira mkazi, ndi Mneneri (mtendere ndi madalitso a Allah zikhale pa iye) adatero, “Pita ukayang’ane iye, chifukwa izi zitha kuyambitsa chikondi pakati panu." (Adanenedwa ndi al-Tirmidhiy, 1087; wolembedwa kuti Hasan ndi al-Nasaa'i, 3235)
Koma ngati banja lipanga chisankho choipa, kapena amasankha bwino koma mwamunayo sakugwirizana nazo, ndiye kuti ukwati uwu uyenera kuti wagwera kulephera ndi kusakhazikika, chifukwa ukwati wozikidwa pa kusoŵa chidwi kaŵirikaŵiri sumakhala wokhazikika.
Ndipo Allah Ngodziwa kwambiri.
Gwero: Chisilamu Q&A
Chonde Lowani patsamba lathu la Facebook: www.facebook.com/purematrimony
i agree,my situation is this ive been married 2,i now met a beautiful,religous women an we so inlove i approachd da parents but the sed no cos i was married 2,they want 2 arrange a marriage 4 iye,so wot i can say is some of our umah use the deen onli wen it suites them
seems like whoever replied to this is a very male oriented person. Islam gives women equal rights. It not always about women being beautiful and a man not liking the woman chosen for him. It can equally be the other way round.
Also another problem massively faced these days, two people like each other and want to get married right away, the families however have a lot of socio cultural demands which either leads to delaying a marriage or refusing to the proposal altogether. In many cases that i have seen, those in love dont stop and hence it leads to gunah. Their justification to it is that they wanted the right away and adopted it, their parents didnt. Its sad how there are these worldly requirements that leads to such serarios when the answer is simple and just needs cooperation from parents. I wonder if its right for either of the two in love to marry someone else chosen by their family whom they dont love. Loving someone else and being a spouse to someone else is again extremely wrong. May Allah guide us the right path and help us in such hardships!
Jazakallah
ndikuvomerezana nanu, also Allah tells us that we have to obey our parents, but we shouldnt when they tell us something that ccontradicts with islam, for xample what if someone loves someone, and theyre both good muslims, and then the guys parents say oh no you cant marry her because shes not the same culture, there are no races in islam, Allah and the prophet told us that in an authentic hadith that no race is greater or bettter than another, and in the Quran “And we have made you into different tribes so that you may know one another” If marriage was based on culture why didn’t the prophet sallalahu alaihi wa salam ever say in a hadith “you should marry from your own race because it will be easier on you”, it just makes me so upset and tired to hear this kind of stuff that culture is a barrier for marriage, i never thought it would even be a prerequisite, culture is nothing its your language where you were born what kind of food you eat and thats it, some muslims these days just block out deen when it comes to marraige and look at culture
@sana: i like your comment and the question posed by you…. well i will not go too deep in details but in short the solution is we need to educate ourself about what our deen (Chisilamu) akuti: Which is what Allah SWT commands us and what Prophet Muhammad PBUH has guided us….
If we follow it then there would not be such issues…. but the matter fact is that we dont have time for learning our Deen….
May Allah SWT guide us all to the righteous path….
@sana
I will answer about the last part, where u were wondering, If two people who were in love with each other, should marry some one else ( presumably of their parents choice ), Chabwino, I will answer you through Qur’an
Chap 2 Vrs 235 – ”
And there is no sin on you if you make a hint of betrothal or conceal it in yourself, Allah knows that you will remember them ”
Notice the part where Allah says, Allah knows that you will remember them ”
To put it simply, ndikuganiza, its clear that if you love some1, you propose to them and you should try and marry them, by this verse.
Ayi.
@ Salman Ibn Ahmed
I just wanted to say that the ayah from the Quran that you have quoted here does not apply to this situation. If you read the whole ayah and the ayah before it too, you will know that this ayah refers specifically to the women who are in the period of iddat ie mourning after their husband has passed away. It is instruction for a man who sees this woman, or hears about her and would like to propose to her.
Ndipo Mulungu Ngodziwa kwambiri.