Allah SWT in all his power did not leave us on this Earth without any form of guidance. He in all his infinite mercy created us and sent us the Qur’an as a means to live. And of all the most beautiful things which Allah SWT has given us is Istikhara – direct counsel from Allah SWT Himself!
All this means is that when you make the intention of doing anything which is a major decision in your life such as moving home, buying something expensive, taking a particular action or when marrying someone, you can ask your Creator for guidance through istikhara.
And verily Allah SWT does not turn away his believing servant who offers his salah and abstains from bad and makes istikhara to help make the best decisions that will be of benefit to them. The truth is that people will often think something is good for them, when in actual fact it is very bad for them. But they don’t know this.
When you make istikhara, you are asking Allah SWT Himself what HE KNOWS to be right for you. You aren’t relying on your own heart or mind to make a decision because Allah knows what we do not, and it is HE who decides if something is good for us or not.
When you intend to marry someone, ALWAYS make istikhara so you will know yourself once and for all whether someone is worth it for you and if they are good for you. Sometimes we are blinded by our feelings towards someone so much that we can’t see whether or not this person will be good for us in the long term.
But when you make istikhara, Allah will show you whether this person is good for you by either making your affairs EASY or DIFFICULT. If it is easy for you, then Allah has willed it for you. And if it is difficult for you, then Allah is actually turning you away from it.
Narrated by Jabir RA:
The Prophet used to teach us the Istikhara for each and every matter as he used to teach us the Suras from the Holy Qur’an. (He used to say), “If anyone of you intends to do something, he should offer a two-Rak’at prayer other than the obligatory prayer, and then say:
‘Allahumma inni astakhiruka bi’ilmika, wa astaqdiruka biqudratika, wa as’aluka min fadlika-l-‘azim, fa innaka taqdiru wala aqdiru, wa ta’lamu wala a’lamu, wa anta’allamu-l-ghuyub. Allahumma in kunta ta’lamu anna hadha-lamra khairun li fi dini wa ma’ashi wa ‘aqibati amri (or said, fi ‘ajili amri wa ajilihi) fa-qdurhu li, Wa in kunta ta’lamu anna ha-dha-l-amra sharrun li fi dini wa ma’ashi wa ‘aqibati amri (or said, fi ajili amri wa ajilihi) fasrifhu ‘anni was-rifni ‘anhu wa aqdur li alkhaira haithu kana, thumma Raddani bihi,” Then he should mention his matter (need).
Istikhara is one of the BEST and most recommended actions you can take BEFORE you marry someone so you can PREVENT problems from the outset and have a happy, fulfilled and blessed marriage Insha’Allah. Put it this way – if Allah decides someone is good for us, who are we then to question his judgement?
Doing istikhara means having COMPLETE reliance on Allah SWT and trusting Him to make the best decision for you. Unlike popular myths out there, you don’t have a dream which tells you what to do. Nor can you ask someone to make istikhara on your behalf.
It’s also worth noting that one of the conditions of Istikhara is that you MUST be doing your five daily salahs and must keep away from bad things. Allah SWT will only accept the duas of those who are obedient to Him, and remember that there is NO obedience to any creation over obedience to the Creator. And may Allah SWT make it easy for us all and give us the means to be dutiful servants to Him so we may prosper in this life and the next – ameen.
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