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Fai ʻe ʻApa Ila Ismail
Fakaʻamu maʻu pē te ke lava ʻo lau e fakakaukau ho husepānití? ʻOku poupouʻi ʻe he anga fakafonua fakahihifó ʻa e husepānití mo e uaifí ke na fetalanoaʻaki mo aleaʻi e ngaahi meʻá.
Neongo ia, ʻi he ngaahi anga fakafonua mosilemi lahi, ʻoku ohi hake ʻa e tangata ke fakailifia mo lipped. ʻOku faʻa lahi e ngaahi husepaniti Mosilemi (ʻikai maʻu pē) momou ke talanoa ki ha ngaahi meʻa pau mo honau uaifí.
Ko e konga foki ʻo e palopalemá ko e taimi ʻe niʻihi ʻoku faingataʻa ke faʻu ʻetau fakakaukaú ki he ngaahi lea totonú.
Ko e meʻa pē ʻoku faingataʻa ange ʻi hono liliu ʻo e ngaahi fakakaukaú ki he ngaahi leá ko hono liliu ʻo e ngaahi ongó ki he ngaahi leá.
Ko ia, a lot of Muslim men and women go through their marriages with very little communication and never really knowing what the other person is thinking.
This quick list is for the Muslim sisters in my audience. This list will give you good idea of some of the things your husband thinks about, but just doesn’t know how, or want, to tell you.
1. Above All, He Desires Your Respect
I spoke about this in my article “Love or Respect: Which Do You Prefer?".
In this article, I explained that women want to know their husbands love them, and men want to know their wives respect them.
It’s important that Muslim women understand the value of respect for men, especially Muslim men. ʻI ʻIsilami fokotuʻu, men are taught from a young age that they are supposed to be the bread-winners and caretakers of their families.
You can imagine how frustrating it would be for a man, who tries his best to care for his family, to be married to a woman who doesn’t respect him. She may declare that she loves him, but without her respect, he will quickly fall out of love with her.
This idea is put forward in the Quran where Allah says:
Men are in charge of women by what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband’s] absence what Allah would have them guard.
Vahe 4, Veesi 34
2. He Desires Your Loyalty
This goes hand in hand with respect.There’s nothing that will ruin a marriage quicker than the idea that your spouse is not loyal. The idea, that he or she is not going to stick by you.I’m not talking about infidelity. This is what usually comes to mind when people talk about loyalty in a marriage.What I’m talking about is knowing that the person whom you’ve chosen to spend the rest of your life with is going to be there for you when you really need them.
Most men won’t admit it, but we do need women. And we do need your support.And it’s very troubling to be married to a woman who may not be around when the going gets tough.If you are constantly threatening divorce or separation or Khula (Kamata e vete mali faka-ʻIsilami ʻe he uaifi), te ke lava ʻo ʻamanaki ʻe vave ʻaupito hoʻo mali fizzle.
ʻOku fie maʻu ke ʻilo ʻe ho husepānití te ke ʻi hono tafaʻakí kapau te ke:
- ʻOku mole ʻene ngaue pea mahaʻihaʻi ʻa e paʻanga.
- ʻOkú ne feinga ke fai ha meʻa (hangē ko e kamata ha pisinisi pe foki ki he akó) ka ʻoku ʻikai lava ia.
- ʻOku tarnished hono ongoongo pe ʻohofi hono langilangi.
ʻOku totonu ke ke mateakiʻi ho husepaniti ʻi he ʻao ʻo e meʻa kotoa pe tuku kehe pe ʻa Allah mo ʻene talafekau (pbuh).
Kapau ʻoku ke mateakiʻi ho husepaniti, fakapapauʻi ange ʻe he mālōloó te ne mateakiʻi koe.
3. ʻOku ne loto ke toutou maʻu ha tangata pe fefine
Tau maʻu ʻeni ʻi he ava. Mahalo ʻe fakakaukau ha kakai fefine ʻe niʻihi ʻoku brutes ʻa e tangata ki he meʻa ni, ka ko hono moʻoní ia. ʻOku fie maʻu ʻe he tangata ʻa e tangata. ʻOku fie maʻu moʻoni ʻe he tangata ʻa e tangata.
Ko ia ʻi hoʻo ʻoange ki ai ʻa e ngaahi kumi ʻuhinga ko ʻeni:
- “I’ve got a headache.”
- “I’m not feeling good.”
- “Can’t it wait till the weekend? I’m really not in the mood.”
Know that your husband is going to go to sleep a little upset with you, even if he doesn’t show it.And do this often enough, he’s going to start resenting you. And that resentment will build up and may lead to him being unnecessarily mean to you or losing some love.
Please keep the following hadith in mind:
When a man calls his wife to his bed, and she does not respond and he (the husband) spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her until morning.
Bukhari mo e Mosilemi.
Something to think about.
4. He Thinks About Other Women
Sai, first of all, calm down. Don’t unsubscribe from my mailing list just yet. Let me explain this.
All men think about other women.
- It doesn’t mean he’s going to cheat on you.
- It doesn’t mean he’s thinking about taking a second wife.
- It doesn’t mean he’s fantasizing about another woman.
It just means that all (straight) ʻoku fai ʻe he tangatá, at some point in their lives, consider having another woman (i.e. uaifi).
You’re better off coming to terms with this and accepting it than having false, purile notions about men.The best way to combat these thoughts are to apply the advice given in the first three secrets:
- Respect him.
- Be loyal to him.
- Give him physical love when he wants it.
Does this mean he’ll never take a second wife if you do these three things? Of course not.But it will raise your value in his mind relative to other woman and he’ll be all the more reluctant to look for those three things (fakaʻapaʻapá, loyalty, and sex) elsewhere.
5. He Wants To Make You Happy
- Why do you think men work so hard to make money?
- Why do you think men are willing to leave their jobs and risk starting a business?
- Why do you think men like buying women gifts?
Because deep down, we really just want to make you happy.
Sometimes we screw it up and forget our anniversary. But we really would prefer to remember because we know it would make you happy.
So when your husband buys you a gift, tali ia, rejoice over it, thank him profusely, and use it as often as possible.
- If he buys you some jewelry, wear it.
- If he buys you a new smartphone, use it.
- If he buys you a car, fakaʻuli ki ai.
Pea ʻoua ʻe fuʻu fakavavevave ke nag ia fekauʻaki mo e ngaahi meʻa ʻoku ʻikai ke tonu ʻene fai. Koeʻuhi ʻe kamata leva ke ne ongoʻi ʻoku ʻikai ke ke fakaʻapaʻapaʻi (ʻoku toe ʻi ai e foʻi lea ko ia) ʻa e ngaahi meʻa ʻokú ne fai maʻaú.
6. Kapau te ke Ueʻi Ia, Te Ne Lava ʻo Hoko ko ha Mosilemi Lelei Ange
ʻOku ʻikai ha taha ia ʻe haohaoa. Mahalo ʻoku ʻikai ko ha tangata ako Mosilemi ho husepānití. Mahalo ʻoku ʻikai ko e kau Mosilemi lelei taha ia ʻi he mamani. Te ke lava ʻo ueʻi ia ke toe lelei ange. Ka he ʻikai ke ke lava ʻo fakamalohiʻi ia.
Fai ha fanga kiʻi meʻa iiki ke ne fakaleleiʻi ai ʻene ʻIsilami fokotuʻu.
- Talaange ke ke fafangu ia ki salaatul Fajr.
- Poupouʻi ia ke ne ngaohi Salaah ʻi he Masjid.
- Talaange ʻa e lelei lahi te ne sio ki ai kapau te ne tupu hono kava.
ʻOku fie maʻu ki heni ha ngaahi lea fakamatoato, ko ha kiʻi ala molū, pea ngāue fakalelei. ʻOku ʻikai ha taha ia ʻe saiʻia ke malanga ki ai. Ka ʻo kapau te ke fai totonu ʻeni, te ke maʻu ha pale tuʻo ua:
Ko e pale ʻoku maʻu ʻi he nofo mo ha husepāniti angatonú. Pea ko e pale ʻi he moʻui ka hokó ki hono poupouʻi ho husepānití ki he moʻoní.
Tuku kehe pē ʻa kinautolu kuo nau tui mo fai ʻa e ngaahi ngāue māʻoniʻoní mo fealēleaʻaki ki he moʻoní mo fealēleaʻaki ke nau faʻa kātaki. Vahe 103, Veesi 3
7. ʻOkú Ne ʻOfa ʻIate Koe, Neongo Kapau ʻOku ʻIkai Ke Ne Fakaha Maʻu Pe Ia
ʻoku ou ʻiloʻi, ʻe lava pē ke angaʻofa ʻa e tokotaha ko ʻení ke folo hifo. Ka ʻoku moʻoni (meimei ko e angamahení).
ʻOku ʻikai ke lelei pehē ʻa e tangatá ʻi hono fakahaaʻi ʻo e ongó (tuku kehe kapau ʻoku tau talanoa sipoti pe politiki).
ʻOku ʻikai ke tau faʻa tala ki hotau uaifí "ʻOku ou ʻofa ʻiate koe".
ʻOku ʻikai ke tau haohaoa. Pea fakafehoanaki maʻu pe kitautolu ki he Palofita ko Muhammad (pbuh) ʻikai ke tokoni. ʻIo, ʻoku totonu ke tau faʻifaʻitaki kiate ia (pbuh) ki he lahi taha te tau lavá. Pea ki ha tokolahi ʻo kitautolu, ʻoku mau fai ʻa e lelei taha te mau lavá.
But we just can’t treat you the same way he (pbuh) treated his wives. Meimei tatau pē, it’s unfair for men to expect their wives to behave like Aisha (LA) and his other wives (LA) did.
Just because your husband doesn’t treat you in the way (you think) ko e Palōfitá (pbuh) treated his wives, doesn’t mean your husband doesn’t love you.
It just means he’s human.It is very important that you understand this.
- If he’s doing his best to take care of you.
- If he doesn’t abuse you or sleep around.
- If he sincerely tries to solve your problems and helps you in the best way he can.
- Then chances are he loves you. A lot.
Now move from in front of the television and go make me a sandwich.
JUST KIDDING!
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jazakAllah khair sis
Hi, Nice article. seriously good points you have mentioned here. Mahalo ko hono lau ʻo e ngaahi meʻa ko ʻeni ʻoku ʻikai ngata pe ʻi he Mosilemi ka ʻe lava ʻe he fefine kotoa pe ʻo ʻai ha founga ki he loto ʻo hono husepaniti!! 🙂
Naʻá ku fakakaukau ki he meʻa tatau. Ko e Moʻoní ko e, ko ha taha ʻokú ne fai e mafatukituki ʻo e koví,ʻe mamata ki ai. pea ko e taha ʻoku ne fai ha kavenga mamafa ʻo e lelei te ne mamata ki ai.
ʻoku ou ongoʻi. Ko kinautolu ʻoku fehiʻa mo ʻikai faʻa fakamolemole, langa e fakapoʻulí ʻi honau loto ʻonautolú.
Ko e loto hohaʻá ʻa e meʻatau ʻa e tēvoló. Pea te ne puleʻi koe kapau he ʻikai te ke lava ʻo mapuleʻi hoʻo ngaahi holi.
Ko e ha leva e meʻa ʻe hoko ʻi he taimi ʻoku ne maʻu ai ʻa e “fakaʻapaʻapá, mateakí mo e tokanga fakaesinó” mei hono uaifí peá ne kei feinga ke maʻu hono uaifí ʻikai 2?
@Annie – pea ko ha husepāniti taʻe houngaʻia pē ia he ʻikai teitei fiemālie neongo naʻá ne maʻu ha harem kakato ʻi he kakai fefiné.
Meʻapango, kakai tangata tokolahi (kakai tangata tukufakaholo lahi tahá, ʻikai ko ha kau tangata lotu moʻoni) use this as an excuse to be philanderers. Just because man is ALLOWED to take a second wife, doesn’t mean he should. Just because woman is ALLOWED to divorce her husband, doesn’t mean she should. If the husband takes a second wife, the wife has a right to divorce him. Alhamdulillah Allah’s made it a fair play for both men and women. But for the sake of all our good, call it truce and take care of each other, and dont resort to these extreme rights.
therefore he may likely to love d one who shows much respect most. coz its natural, most people are inclined toward people who show concern, respect etc over them. and at the end of the Day his new wife will hardly hijacked the 1st wife position… Meanwhile, steadfastness to beautiful attitudes is d key to attract attention. Wallahu a’lam.
Then It’s God’s wish
So what …..it’s his right to do so 2,3 pe 4. Stop being selfish
Ane, I realize this article dated from 2017 and you asked a fantastic question. I met a Muslim man three years ago. I am American, a Native American or referred to as a Red Indian in countries such as India. when we started talking, I made it very clear to him my thoughts of getting involved with a married man. He assured over a three year period he was single…no kids nothing. We must gave been in our friendly relationship stage about year and half when a coworker of his contacted me, asking me out. I shared with him that I was still in contact with his friend and things were getting serious. Ko e tali ʻa e kaungangaue, “naʻe ʻikai ke ne teitei talaatu?” ʻeku tali,”talamai e meʻa?”…tali ʻa e kaunga ngaue, ” kuo ne mali ʻi ha taʻu ʻe ua pea ʻoku ʻi ai haʻane tama.” Naʻá ku fehangahangai mo ia pea naʻá ne loi fekauʻaki mo e ʻi ai hano uaifi mo ha fānau. Naʻá ne talamai ʻoku meheka e kaungā ngāué he naʻá ku saiʻia ai. 6 mos kimui ai naʻá ne kole mai ke u mali mo ia. Naʻá ku fiefia lahi koeʻuhí he naʻá ku feʻiloaki mo e tangata ko ʻení peá u pehē ʻoku faitotonu, faivelenga, falalaʻanga, mo e loto fakamātoato. naʻe toki hoko ia ʻi he 1 mahina kimuʻa pea ma mali naʻa ne tuluta ʻa e bombshell kiate au, ʻoku ne talamai, “kuó u mali, kuo 4 kuo u maʻu ʻeni mo e ngaahi 2 fanau,” Fakakaukau naʻa ke fakataha ʻi he 3. Ko ha tangata ia pea ʻokú Ne malava ha faʻahinga meʻa pē. naʻá ku fehuʻi kiate ia, mate ʻoku fakaʻapaʻapaʻi koe ʻe ho uaifí?” “ʻOkú ne mateakiʻi nai koe?” “ʻoku ke maʻu 2 fanau ke ʻoua naʻa hoko ʻa e tangata pe fefine ko ha palopalema, ko e hā naʻá ke kākā aí?” ʻOku ne ʻomi ha tulitonuhia mataʻaʻa hange ko e fie fai ha meʻa ʻoku kehe. Bottom line is this the wife was respectful to him. She was loyal and pleased him sexually, why did he venture off? He wants me to marry him and be his 2nd wife. Can I? I am an educated older woman. that’s another thing his wife is age 25 and me 46. His age 31. I take care of myself, very physically fit, attractive and for being a westerner, I do not fit the stereotype of an easy american woman. i am conservative about my appearance and how I dress. How can this man do this to his wife and it seems as though she respected him, is loyal to him and gave him sexual pleasure. I do not understand.
That’s what they won’t tell you. ‘Because men are programmed to think about other women and women should be calm’ and prepare a sandwich for those who preach like this. Shame on these people
We have to open our hearts to Allah and be compassionate. Quran says that the man has the right to have 4 ngaahi uaifí, but he needs to love equally, provide equally, protect equally. So much responsability. Let’s face the reality, houʻeiki fafiné, men are not perfect and they love sex so much than us. If he wants a second wife just because he wants another to have sex, if we accept their nature, so he is going to keep loving us. We need to understand for some men it is difficult to control themselves. And if a sister gives him her all, it is duty of a man to be honest always. It is not fair to find a second wife if this second wife does not know he is married, and the first wife does not know he wants other. ʻIkai ngata ai, the second wife is family too. ʻE lava ke ne hoko ko ha kaungāmeʻa ʻi he ngaahi momeniti faingataʻá pea lava ke mahino kiate ia ʻa e ʻuluaki uaifí. Pea ʻoua naʻá ke fakakaukau ʻe faingofua ʻeni ki he tangatá, fatongia lahi fau. ʻIkai ngata ai, ʻoku tokolahi ange ʻa e kakai fefiné ʻi he houʻeiki tangatá. Kapau ʻoku ʻi ai ha niʻihi ʻoku ʻikai ke nau mali mo ha uaifi ʻe toko taha pe lahi ange, ʻoku tokolahi ha kakai fefine he ʻikai ke nau mali.
ʻOku ou tui ko e ʻuhinga ia ʻoku nau o ai ki ʻIsilami fokotuʻu tui fakalotu. ʻOku kei kakai lalahi pe. Ko ha founga ia ke nau tui ai ʻoku sai pē ia. Naʻe toki ngaohi pē ʻe he ʻOtuá ʻa ʻĀtama mo ʻIvi, ʻikai ko ʻIvi mo ʻElisapeti.
ʻOku ou kole fakamolemole atu ka kuo pau ke u taʻefelotoi. ʻOku ʻikai fakahaaʻi ʻe hoku husepaniti Mosilemi ha ʻofa pe fakaʻapaʻapa kiate au, pea ko ia ʻe ʻikai te u fakahā ia kiate ia. ʻOku ʻi ai ʻene lea fufuu ʻi heʻene telefoni mo e komipiuta pea he ʻikai ke ne tuku ke u sio. Ka ʻokú ne kaikaila mo ʻita kapau te u ʻeke pe ko e hā hono ʻuhingá. ʻOku ʻikai ke ne toe mahuʻingaʻia ʻi he ʻofa fakaesinó. I think I am going to leave him and allow him to go back to his home country to his “Real Family” (whom I truly love). I am not Muslim, however I respect/support his beliefs and the teachings/love of Allah. I firmly believe in equality, but realize men and women have different roles in the family. Ko ia, now YOU move away from in front of the TV and make ME a sandwich.
@Paula- So sorry that you have to deal with all this:(. InshaAllah Allah will reward you for all your patience and effort. None of us see what you have to deal with or how much effort you’ve put into your relationship, but Allah sees it all and he’ll reward you accordingly inshaAllah. And the wrongdoers will get their due punishment as well. Whatever you decide to do (leave him or try again), ʻofa ke tataki koe ʻe Allah ki he hala totonu pea ʻoatu ha fiefia kiate koe. ʻOku ou fakaʻamu naʻe ʻikai fie maʻu ke fehangahangai e kakai mo ha faitoʻo taʻe totonu pehe ʻi he ngaahi va fetuʻutaki. ʻOku teʻeki ai ke u mali ka ʻoku hanga ʻe he fanongo ki he ngaahi talanoa peheni ʻo fakalotosiʻiʻi moʻoni au mei heʻeku fie mali ʻi he kahaʻu. Fakaʻamu ange ʻe lava ke tau fefakaʻapaʻapaʻaki mo fefakaʻapaʻapaʻaki/fefakamātoatoʻaki, kae ʻikai ko e vaʻinga mo e loi.
Ko e meʻa tatau pē ʻi heni he taimi lahi kuo mole noa ai hoku taimí koeʻuhí ko e kakai loí. ʻOku ou fie mali pea u ʻi halal va fetuʻutaki ka ʻoku hange pe ia ko e fekumi pe ʻa e tangata ki he anga fakakaumeʻa mo e ngaahi monuʻia. ʻOfa ke Allah tāpuakiʻi kitautolu ʻaki ha ngaahi husepāniti lelei. Ameen
Malo e lelei Abiya
Naʻá ku lau hoʻo ngaahi fakamatalá pea naʻá ku ongoʻi lelei ʻaupito.
Kuo tuʻo ua ʻeku vete mali. I guess no matter how much effort you put in but this particular relationship is based on your destiny. The destiny which almighty Allah has written for you in this life
The test he would put a person to see his or her patience. I guess this is life and we should always say Alhamdulliah
I loved my first and my second and till date i remember them and i cry for them. I have no idea how all this happened but it happened and believe me it wasnt easy for me.
In marriage both the partners have to work togther. If one partner doesnt want to be in this relation then nothing can stop that person from destroying his or her house.
But in the end i would say it doesnt mean thats the end of life. Mahalo ko ha kamataʻanga foʻou ia ʻo e moʻui ʻoku Allah ʻilo lahi ange pea ko ia ʻa e tupuʻanga mo e Mafimafi.
Jazakallah khair
Ne u ʻi he tūkunga tatau pē mo Paula ʻo poupouʻi kakato hoku husepānití. naʻá ne puleʻi e lea fufuú ki heʻeku ipad telefoní etc. Ko Kanata au ka ʻoku ʻikai ke ne fie kai ʻetau meʻakai. Ngaohi kimautolu ke mau feimeʻatokoni pe ki he meʻakai tukufakaholo. Te ne pehe ko hono famili ʻoku ne faʻeleʻi ia pea ʻoku ne tupu hake mo au ko ha fefine pe ʻoku ne mali mo ia. ʻOku ou fakakaukauʻi foki mo au ʻa e vete malí. ʻOku ʻikai totonu ke u fai e faitoʻo ko ʻeni. ʻOku ʻikai akoʻi ʻa e kau tangata Mosilemi ke nau tokangaʻi lelei ha uaifi ʻi he taimi pe ko ia kuo ne mali ai ʻoku ʻi ai hono ngaahi fatongia foʻou
ʻoku moʻoni ʻa e foakí,lol he ʻikai ke ke lava ʻo liliu ha tangata kapau ʻoku ʻikai ke ne fie maʻu ke liliu. Pea ko e ha ʻoku hoko ai ko ha sucker ki he tautea ʻi he taimi ʻoku ke ʻiloʻi ai ʻoku ʻi ai ha taha te ne tokoniʻi koe ʻi ho tuʻunga totonu.
Kataki ke fanongo ki he meʻa ʻoku fai ʻe ho husepaniti ka ʻoku ne tui mai kiate au ʻoku ʻikai tatau ʻa e husepaniti Mosilemi kotoa pe. ʻOku fakaʻapaʻapaʻi ʻe he husepaniti Mosilemi ʻa honau uaifi mo tokoniʻi kinautolu ʻi he taimi ʻoku nau fie maʻu ai, kataki ʻo ʻoua naʻa ke fakakaukau kovi fekauʻaki mo ʻisilami fokotuʻu. ʻIsilami fokotuʻu ʻoku fuʻu lahi ʻaupito fekauʻaki mo e totonu ʻa e kakai fefine kapau te ke maʻu ha faingamalie ke ako quran pe tohi faka-ʻIsilami.
ʻoku ou ngāue, ʻoku fokotuʻu foki ʻe hoku husepānití ha ngāue lelei, koloa lillahí ʻalhamdu, ka talu mei he taʻu ʻe 15 mo ʻeku nofo mo ʻeku ngaahi lao,ʻeku ngaahi lao r matuʻaki ongongataʻa mo torchering au, ʻoku ou kole ha fale taʻehoungaʻia ka ʻoku teʻeki ai ke u mateuteu . ʻOku ʻikai ke ne tokanga mai kiate au. ʻIkai fakamoleki ha taimi mo ha paʻanga maʻaku. Ha faʻahinga founga pe naʻa ne maʻu ai ha faingamalie ke quarring mo au. ʻIkai ke u lava ʻo fakasiʻisiʻi kotoa au. ʻOku ou maʻu ʻa e loto mafasia mo e palopalema mahaki hela talu mei, 2 ngaahi taʻu, ʻoku ou helaʻia he taimí ni, ʻoku totonu ke u kole talak mei hoku husb. Please guide me in islamic way
I feel for you, you seem to have loved this guy and he seemed to be using you
Hiding passwords only mean his hiding worse things
When you said you will send him back home
Am I guessing right to say he is not legal in your county ?
Wel then his only after one thing isn’t he
I pray sister all works well for you
It might be years later but I had to leave my reply
women are not respect giving machines. Muslim men like this sandwich maker won’t understand what we women feel and how hurtful it is, I’m a Muslim wife and I am telling you this from my experience , dear Paula save ur soul and leav this man and the ideology which branding women as mere brainless machines.
Dear Paula! He ʻikai lava ke fakamauʻi ʻe he U ʻIsilami fokotuʻu ko ha taha Mosilemi koeʻuhi he ko e tokolahi taha ʻo e kau Mosilemi ʻi he mamani ʻoku ʻikai ke nau muimui kakato ki he ngaahi akonaki faka-ʻIsilami & ko e tefitoʻi ʻuhinga ʻeni ʻoku ngaohikovia ai e taha kotoa/ʻikai ko e kau Mosilemi, ʻoku totonu ke lau ʻe he u ʻa e tatau faka-Pilitania ʻo e Qurʻan pea ʻe mahino kiate koe. Ko ha tokotaha Mosilemi au ʻi hoku fāʻeleʻí. ʻOku ou muimui ʻi he ngaahi tuʻutuʻuni kotoa pē ʻoku hā atu ʻi ʻolungá. Alhamduliallh. ʻOku ou fie maʻu hoku uaifí ke ne tokangaʻi au ʻo hangē ko ia ʻoku fakamatalaʻi atú.
Masiʻi. ʻOku ou moʻui ʻi he tukunga tatau. ʻOku mahino naʻe hiki ʻeni ʻe ha tangata pe fefine ʻatamai kovi ʻoku ʻikai ke ne fakaʻapaʻapaʻi pe ngeia. Makatuʻunga ʻi he konga ko ʻeni, ʻoku fie maʻu pe ʻe he tangata ha popula ʻoku ʻikai moʻui siʻi ka ʻe feinga ke fakahoifua ki heʻene fie maʻu ʻuli, naʻa mo ʻene holi ki he kakai fefine kehé, ʻo ʻikai ʻamanaki ki ha vilo. ʻOku ʻikai ko ʻeku Version ʻIsilami fokotuʻu ʻeni.
Lol, tui kakato ki ai. Ko e fakamatala ko ʻeni ko ha pauʻu ʻeni.
Fēfē kitautolu fefine ʻoku tau vakai ki ha tangata kehe ʻi heʻetau moʻuí?.. ko ʻeku ʻuhingá ko e fefine kitautolu, lelei taha ke ikunaʻi ia. ʻOku ʻikai ʻuhinga ia te tau taʻe kai kinautolu.
ʻOku ʻikai ha ʻamanaki lelei lahi ki ʻIsilami fokotuʻu kapau ʻe pehe
ʻOku fie maʻu ke tau fakaʻapaʻapaʻi lahi ange
Piuela
ʻOku fakalukufua ʻa e Post ko ʻeni, ʻoku ʻikai ngāue ia ki he ngaahi husepāniti ʻoku taʻetotonu mo honau uaifí.
Malo ʻetau maʻu e pongipongi ni
Ko e ha ʻoku totonu ke u fai kapau ʻoku ʻikai talamai ʻe heʻeku bansband ha meʻa fekauʻaki mo e moʻoni ʻo aʻu pe ki he fanga kiʻi meʻa iiki
Fehuʻi, ko hoku kaumeʻa ko muslan ko e Katolika au, ʻoku ʻikai ke ne fie fai ha meʻa kae ʻoua kuo ma mali ka naʻa ma meimei fai ʻa e meʻa kotoa pe ʻoku totonu? Pe ʻoku hala
Sisitā, kātaki ʻo toe fakalea foʻou hoʻo fehuʻí koeʻuhí ke mau lava ʻo ʻoatu ʻa e tali totonú? Mālō
ʻOku ʻikai mahino kiate au pe ko e hā ʻoku kākā lahi ai ʻa e tangatá ki he uaifí. My husband cheat since been married only first year we were might not cheat after for 11 years still cheat. I just find out he have been with man to. What should I do. I have two kids with him and I don’t want my kids got hurt. He have hurt so much and I alway sad all I think what do I do wrong he cheat on me so much. I know of at least five or more he been with them. Please please help me out. It is been so hard on me. How can he ever cheat on me with the dami man. I hate my life ever day.
Oh Dear how I understand you, my ex boyfriend, we were together for 5 years and he’s Muslim. He did the same. I knew he loved me and he truly did but he loved to have sex with. Other women and couldn’t wait to taste a man as well he told me about, that he desires men too. And when he asked me to try threesome, that was it! I got really hurt and extremely disappointed. :(. God bless you. You r married to him and having two children, just try to not as to much attention and care about ur children as long as he’s good with you, respects you, caring about family financially then do it for your children,unless untill they are enough grown-up. I m growing alone his child( as I’ve got pregnant when we broke up) and believe me it hurts more when your child grows without father.
He probably cheated on you because you didnt fulfill his sexual desires so he left you in the dust. As messed up as that sounds why didnt you leave him in the 1st year? Suck it up or leave him. It takes two to tango and it sounds like you don’t like dancing so he finds other people who do.
I have conferted to muslim 15 years now
i met my husband 11 years ago and all through my marriage has been very bad and secrets and lies and he do haram to his body ..and the first month and before was good all was done halal but from problem s he did i lost all respect especially when i found out he had second wife i excepted it and became friend s to her because allah say,naʻa mo ia naʻa ne tamateʻi au ʻi loto naʻa ku fai pe ʻeni maʻa ʻeku fanau ke kei maʻu pe ʻeku Tamai pea naʻa ku fai ʻo hange ko ia ʻoku totonu ke fai ʻe he uaifi ka ko e akonaki naʻa ne fakahaaʻi mai naʻe ʻikai ke u teitei tui mei allah ʻoku totonu ke fakatou fakaʻaongaʻi ʻe ha kakai ʻe niʻihi ʻa e ʻIsilami fokotuʻu ʻi ha faʻahinga meʻa pe naʻe hala pea hange ʻa e tangata ko e fanau ʻi he taimi lahi naʻa ku ongosia ai pea naʻe ʻi ai ha meʻa naʻa ku fai hala naʻe halal maʻu pe ʻene haram kiate ia ʻo tatau ai pe pe ko e ha e meʻa naʻa ku lea ʻaki he taimi ni ko au pe ko ʻeku fanau pea ʻoku ou ʻamanaki allah tauteaʻi ʻa e tangata kotoa pe ʻoku ne fokotuʻu ʻa e uaifi mo e fanau lelei ʻi he meʻa ni ke feʻunga mo haram ngaahi founga
ʻOku ʻikai ko e meʻa ʻeni ia ʻoku hoko ki he kakai tangata kotoa pe.. ʻoku ʻikai ko e fanga ʻuhiki kitautolu ʻo e moa tatau.
ʻOku sio maʻu pe ʻa e tangata 4 tangata pe fefine.. ko e meʻa ia ʻoku nau o ki he women.so ʻo ʻoange kiate ia ha tangata pe fefine lelei.he ʻikai teitei ʻalu ia ki ha toe tamaiki fefine kehe
ʻOku totonu ke ke feongoongoi mo ha imam.in Mosilemi ʻisilami fokotuʻu ʻoku tapui ke fai ha tangata pe fefine taʻe ʻi ai ha mali. ʻOfa ke Allah fakamolemoleʻi koe
Ko ha tangata naʻa ne tohi ʻeni
Salam,
Naʻa ku lau fakalelei ʻa e fakamatala ko ʻeni ka ko e meʻa ʻoku ne fakaʻapaʻapaʻi ia ʻo lahi ange ʻi ha toe taha ʻoku ou ʻofa ʻiate ia Alot pea ʻoku ou ʻi heʻene nikkah ʻi he ngaahi mahina siʻi kuo hili ʻoku ne ʻi sudia pea ʻoku ne nofo mo hoku famili ʻo tatali ki heʻeku rukksati ʻi he loloa ko ʻeni ʻoku ou ʻiloʻi ʻoku ne ʻofa ʻiate au ka ko e meʻa pe ʻoku ne disscus ʻeku talanoa fakatautaha mo hono ngaahi kaungameʻa ʻai ke u ongoʻi taʻefiemalie koeʻuhi ko e ha te u lava ʻo fai kiate ia ʻa e meʻa kotoa pe ʻoku ne fie maʻu kiate au ka ʻoku ʻikai ha ongo ia ʻoku ou ongoʻi loto mamahi ʻi he taimi ʻoku ne fie maʻu ai Cam tangata pe fefine pe talanoa ʻuli ki he taimi naʻa ku talaange ai ʻoku ou ongoʻi taʻefiemalie ʻi he taʻu kuo ʻosi pea ʻikai ha taimi ʻe lava ha taha kehe ʻo tokoni mai kiate au kātaki ʻoku ou fie maʻu hoʻo tokoní
Siʻi Mehwish,
Lau hoʻo pōpoakí pea ʻoku fakamamahi ʻaupito ke ʻiloʻi e tōʻonga ʻa e tangatá ni kiate koé. Ko ha fuʻu pou motuʻa ʻeni, ʻOku ʻikai ke u fakapapauʻi pe ko e hā ho tūkungá he taimí ni. Kātaki ʻo ʻiloʻi ko e taimi ʻoku ʻikai fakaʻapaʻapaʻi ai koe ʻe ha tangata, pea ʻoua naʻá ke fakahāhāholo ʻa e meʻa ʻoku hoko ʻi ho vā mo iá, ko ha fuka kulokula ia kiate ia.
ʻOku ne vaivai ʻi Taqwa. Mahalo ko e taimi te ke ʻi ai ai mo ia, ʻe fakaʻau ʻo sai ange, ka ʻoku totonu ke ke tokanga mo talaatu ʻokú ke fie maʻu ke anga fakaʻeiʻeiki.
Naʻe ʻilo nai ʻe ho fāmilí ha ngaahi fakaikiiki kiate ia kimuʻa peá ke toki mali mo koé? ʻOkú ke ʻiloʻi nai hono fāmilí mo e kaungāmeʻá? Feinga ke fakatotoloʻi ia.
Kuo ʻi ai ha ngaahi meʻa ne mavahe ai e tamaiki fefiné mei honau fāmilí, ʻoku nau nofo toko taha pe ʻi ha fonua muli pea fehangahangai mo ha ngaahi tukunga faingataʻa ʻo ʻikai ha founga ke hao ai. Kimuʻa pea hoko ha faʻahinga tūkunga pehē, kātaki ʻo fakatokanga mai.
Fee Aman Allah!
Ko ia….If the women is the bread winners, is the shoe on the other foot? Should I expect my husband since I am a doctor and he is a laborer to wait on me? Can he stay stay home with our children and have my dinners ready? I like to watch tv on the rare times I’m not not being called for surgery. Does that mean I can demand a sandwich? Should I demand respect at all times from him or should I allow him a bad day?
Good question. I guess it is a matter of “I make the money, so I make the roles.” I am all for independent women. Stand up to abuse! and dont let someone walk over you.
Good advice, but zowji doesn’t like sandwhiches! 😉
Just wanted to add, don’t be afraid to compliment him. If you think your husband is brave, noble, handsome, mālohi, TALAANGE KIATE IA. ʻOku ʻikai ko ha tokotaha laukonga ia. Kakai fefine tokolahi (ʻoku tatau pē ia maʻá e tangatá) tukunoaʻi pē hono ʻiloʻi ʻe honau husepānití ʻa e ongo ʻokú ne maʻu kiate iá pea ʻoua naʻá ne lea ʻaki ha meʻa. ʻI heʻene teuteu hoko ki he meʻa lomi ngāué ko hono soté pe hēkesi hono hēkesí mo talaange hono fofonga talavou. Fai ha meʻa lahi fekauʻaki mo hono ngaahi uoua, ʻene angaʻofa ke tokoni ʻi he ngaahi moʻua ʻo hono kaungāmeʻá ʻi he falemahakí, ʻene laukau ʻaki hoʻo maʻu ha husepāniti ʻokú ne ngaohi hono salaá. Fakamatoato mo e taimi hoko te ke fakakaukau ai ki ha taha ʻo e ngaahi meʻa maʻongoʻonga ʻoku ne fai ʻa ia ʻoku ne ngaohi koe ke ke ʻofa ʻiate ia . . . talaange ki ai. Ko e faingamalie te ne saiʻia ai. 😉
Faleʻi fakaʻofoʻofa, ko e meʻa pē ʻoku fie maʻú ke u kumi ha husepāniti lelei ke fakahā ki ai e ngaahi meʻa 😉 peheé
mo au mo hoku tuofefine
Lol ʻoku ou ongoʻi koe.. ʻOku ʻikai ke u faʻa tatali ke mali ke tala moʻoni ʻeku hubmo e ngaahi meʻa ni.. :”-D
Fakapapauʻi ʻokú ke maʻu ʻa e tokotaha totonú. ʻOku ou ʻofa lahi ʻi hoku husepānití, pea ʻokú ne fakaʻofoʻofa! Ko ha laumālie fakaʻofoʻofa ia! ʻOku ʻikai ke u lava ʻo fakamamafaʻi feʻunga ia- ko e ʻatamai ʻo e tangatá ʻa e meʻa ʻoku mahuʻingá. ʻOku ʻi ai e taimi ʻoku ongo ki he tokotaha kotoa pē, ka ko hai ʻoku ʻi lotó ko e meʻa ia ʻoku mahuʻingá. Ko e ʻatamaí ʻa e meʻa te ke nofo mo ia ʻi ha taʻu ʻe nimangofulu.
Jazakallahukairan, ʻoku insppired moʻoni ia ʻe he pou ko ʻeni. ʻOfa ke fakafaingofuaʻi ʻe ʻAlaahá ke tau akoako fakahoko ia. InshaAllaah, ʻi he taimi ʻoku ou malaʻia aí!
Salamu Alikom,
Kuo pau ke hoko ʻeni ko e taha ʻo e ngaahi fakamatala lelei taha kuo u lau fekauʻaki mo e ngaahi hoa-mali Mosilemi. Malo ʻaupito. Kuó ke ʻomi ki heʻeku tokangá ʻa e ngaahi fehālaaki ʻoku ou ʻomi ki heʻeku nofo-malí, ʻa ia (hili hono lau ʻení) Kuó u fakakaukau ke ngāue ki!
May Allah bless your marraige and everybody else’s.
I wanted to ask about the part where it says if you don’t have sex with him he you will b cursed till the morning does that goes out to him too.. Like if the wife wanted to have sex and he didn’t doesnt he get cursed too ?? Mālō ʻaupito
Of course sister if a woman wanted to have sex with her husband & intensionally he refuse it. the same punishment will happen to him.
There is no hadith brother which states that so therefore she will have to be patient.
@asiangirl There is a hadith for that actually. I will not give it to you. Search it yourself. I have read it myself. So please… do not utter things you do not know or sure of. The punishment for giving out wrong information is severe. You will be held accountable.
@mr. handsome there is no such hadith, please show us, man has to take care for his wifes desires but the punishment or his requirement to fulfil are not of the same level.
remember he is her wali not the other way around.
don’t make up hadiths urself
@Mr. Handsome. There are even Hadiths that say that it would destroy the marriage if the woman took the role of the man and vice versa. It is never written anywhere where a woman commands her husband. Please reference your sources, “maybe you need to be careful what you say cause you will be accountable for your intentions and what’s in your heart.”
Let me know if you want me to reference that. I may not have it word for word though….
That’s harsh of you brother .
Jazakallah, May Allah reward u with Khair,,
The brother mentioned that .. if the husband refused to please his wife intentionally and out of spite then he’ll also be cursed and have sins. But if he does not do it purposely then he wont get sins. However a woman is not the same level as the man as she’s required to please him in whatever situation unless it’s a situation where she has no power to do anything about (i.e monthly periods). If you still want to know more then as a sheikh. ʻOku ʻiloʻi lelei taha ʻe Allah
Are you kidding ME????? You men are so full of your selves. Men have distorted Islam to the point its unrecognisable. You truly believe your superior and have more rights? Its NOT more rights which you have over us. ITS more responsibilities! For crying out loud! wake up to your self. That hadith is BOGUS…
There are no specific hadiths about many things. If a man refuses to consider his wife’s sexual pleasure, along with being a jerk, he will have to answer to Allah for his neglect The consistent and constant advices to women to “faʻa kātaki” when husbands are complete failures is ridiculous and getting really tired in 2016. Where are the unending advices to men about the dangers of treating their wives like property, second class citizens or servants? Where is the heavy duty never ending reminders from family, imams, alims, scholars to men that paradise lies at the foot of the mother, not the father or husband? When was the last time a man was questioned about his wife’s happiness? Why should a nice type Muslim sister be patient when her husband is verbally or even physically abusive, emotionally distant, selfish, childish an narcisstic? Where are the ahadith for this? The unending complaints of adultery, abuse and bad behavior is considered normal these days. But if a sister insists on certain conditions in her own ahd nikah (aleapau ʻo e malí) she is being selfish. I am happy I have a good understanding of Islam — that I worship Allah. Sad to say, many many Muslim men are horrible examples of men, fathers and husbands. To those of you brothers who work at trying to be kind, considerate and loving to your wives, may Allah give you an enormous reward. You are certainly rare.
Thank you that was needed .
Palavo, tuofefine, that was very well said and definitely needs repeating often.
Kātaki ʻo ʻoua naʻa mou taʻofi hala ʻa e kakaí.. kapau ʻoku ʻikai ke ke ʻiloʻi moʻoni e talí. ʻOku ʻikai ha Tā Heti fekauʻaki mo e tangatá … kātaki ʻo fakatokangaʻi ange.
Ka ʻoku ʻi ai Qurʻanic veesi. “Ko e houʻeiki tangatá ko e kau maluʻi ʻo e houʻeiki fafiné”. Sura Nisa vahe 4.
He ʻikai ke u lava ʻo talaatu ʻe lava ke fakaʻaongaʻi e meʻa tatau ki he husepānití kapau ʻoku ʻikai ke ne tali, ka ko hono fatongia ʻi ʻIsilami fokotuʻu ke fakafiemalieʻi hono uaifi ʻi he fetuʻutaki pea he ʻikai ke ne lava ʻo “ʻalu ʻo mohe” ʻo ʻikai fakahoko ia. ʻI heʻene hoko ko ha tufakanga ke ne fai ʻeni, pea kuo pau leva ke fakaʻaongaʻi ʻa e tautea tatau inshaAllah.
ʻoku ʻikai ke u faʻa lava ʻo fakakaukau ki ha tangata, Mosilemi pe ʻikai, fakafisingaʻi ʻo e tangata pe fefine tuku kehe kapau ʻoku hohaʻa fakaeloto pe hohaʻa ki ai ha meʻa.
ʻOku faingofua ange ki he tangata ke toe foki ʻo ongo ki he tangata pe fefine ʻi ha kakai fefine. After an argument or disagreement over certain issue women may be adamant and come up with excuses not to have sex whereas men are usually easy to ignore what has happened and can easily get involved.
lol. that is true
So you apparently know nothing about women. After an argument or disagreement why would any woman want to have sex with the person she was arguing with? Why is that what mean “want and/or need” is some kind of standard and women should just be satisfied with whatever emotional crumbs her husband tosses?
same does not apply to husband my dear.. that’s what I hate about the whole thing….. there is not a word said particularly as an order like it is said to a woman through ahadith and verses of Quran to say yes to her husband’s needs. ʻikai ha maau hangatonu… ko ha ngaahi foʻi lea siʻi pē ke talaange ʻoku lelei kiate kinautolu kapau ʻoku nau lelei mo honau uaifí…. ka ko e ha ka tokanga ai ha taha ʻo hange ko ha uaifi Mosilemi ʻoku ne loto ke fakahaofi ia ʻi heʻene aakhirah…..
ei sista.
ko hono moʻoní kapau ʻoku ʻikai ke ne lava, ʻoku ʻikai ke ne lava. ʻoku ʻikai fie maʻu ke ke nonoʻo ha peni vahevahe ki ai. kae mahalo ʻoku fie maʻu ke ke coax ʻa e kiʻi tamasiʻi masiva ki he moʻui, manatuʻi ʻa e kiʻi fika ko ia naʻá ne faʻa tuli koe ke ke vale ʻi he ngaahi taʻu kotoa ko ia kuo hilí. ʻi hoʻo toe ʻomi ia hili e ngaahi taʻu kotoa ko ʻeni, te ne toe hoko moʻoni ko e misi taʻu hongofulu ma ono naʻa ke mei ʻalu ki ai ʻi he taimi naʻa ne pehe ai ‘ oops kataki …hange pe ʻoku ou ʻi he loto luvʻ.
Ahhhh,,,ko e taimi ni ʻoku fakahaaʻi ai ʻa e fakaʻapaʻapa mo ha kolomuʻa ko R PSASAʻIHEʻIKAIʻI!
ʻIkai ha fefine, ʻoku ʻikai ha fakamoʻoni ia ki ha faʻahinga fakafepaki pehe ki he tangata. Neongo ia, naʻe ʻikai ke ne mei lava ʻo foaki ʻene totonu ʻaʻana, pea ko hono fakahoko ʻo e totonu ʻo ha kau Mosilemi ko ha tufakanga ia, ʻi heʻene pehee, naʻá ne mei fai ha angahala. ʻOku ʻiloʻi lelei taha ʻe Allah!
Hangē ko salaam alaikum,
Kapau ʻoku ʻi ai ha heti pe ʻikai, ʻoku ʻikai ke u fakapapauʻi ia. Ka ʻoku ʻi ai ha SURAH kakato! Suʻila Tihatila (58) Lau ia.
Naʻe lipooti ʻe ʻApa Dhar Al-Ghafari: Ko e talafekau ʻa Allah (ngaahi meʻa naʻe sio ki aí) naʻe pehe ʻe: ʻoku ʻi ai ha pale maʻau [naʻa mo] ʻi he tuʻunga tangata pe fefine mo ho uaifi.” Naʻe fehuʻi ange ʻe he ngaahi hoá: ʻE talafekau ʻo Allah (ngaahi meʻa naʻe sio ki aí) ʻoku ʻi ai ha pale kapau ʻe fakafiemālieʻi ʻe ha taha ʻene holí?” Naʻa (ngaahi meʻa naʻe sio ki aí) naʻe pehe ʻe: “ʻOkú ke ʻiloʻi kapau te ne fakafiemālieʻi taʻefakalao ia kuó ne toʻo kiate ia pē ha angahala? Ko e meʻa tatau pē, kapau ʻokú ne fakafiemālieʻi fakalao ia, ʻoku fakapaleʻi ia.”
Fekauʻaki mo Ahmad mo e Mosilemi.
ʻOku fakafalala pē ki he uaifí ke ne teuteu lelei mo fakaʻaongaʻi e kaloni mo tokangaʻi ʻene meʻakai makehé ke hiki hake ʻene holí
Neongo naʻa ku saiʻia mo loto fiemalie ki he ngaahi meʻa kotoa ʻi heni ke u lea ʻaki ʻa e konga fekauʻaki mo hono toʻo ʻo e uaifi hono ua naʻa ne ʻai ke u ʻita moʻoni.. ʻokú ke fokotuʻu mai ʻi he tafaʻaki ʻe tahá ke feinga ʻa e houʻeiki tangatá ke tau fiefia ka ʻoku fēfē ʻa e fakakaukau ke ʻave ʻa e uaifi hono uá mo e meʻa kotoa ko iá?? ʻOku ʻikai ke ʻi ai haʻaku ka pe smartphone mei hoku husepaniti ka ʻoku ʻi ai ʻene MATEAKI. Ko e ngaue kotoa pe mei he tafaʻaki ʻo ha tangata ke fiefia hono uaifi ʻi he pesoni tafitafi kapau ʻoku ne ongoʻi tauʻataina ke toʻo ha uaifi hono ua ʻi ha faʻahinga taimi pe.. tanaki atu ki ai te ne ʻalu ki heli!!
Hangē ko salaamu alaikum,
Tola, ʻOku mahino kiate au ʻoku hange ia ha fehangahangai (ko e husepāniti ʻokú ne feinga ke fiefia ʻa e uaifí ka ʻokú ne toe ʻave mo ha uaifi ʻe taha) kae manatuʻi ko ha meʻa ʻeni ʻoku fakangofua ha tangata ke ne fai ʻi ʻIsilami fokotuʻu. He ʻikai ke ne aʻu ki heli ʻi heʻene ʻave ha uaifi ʻe taha. It is his conduct with his wives and living a life according to Islam that will determine where he ( and all muslims) will end up. It would be something very difficult to come to terms with, I agree but this life is a test and through the difficulties we encounter and how we deal with them will determine our station in the akhira. May Allah bless you.
Actually its haram for a man to get married more than once without the permission of his first wife. I would NEVER allow my husband to marry another woman. I would leave him the second he mentioned it to me. I love my husband so deeply and wholeheartedly that i can never even imagine myself being attracted to another man. Kapau ʻe lava ke tohoakiʻi ʻene tokanga ki ha fefine kehe ʻo aʻu ki ha tuʻunga te ne fie mali mo ia, naʻe ʻikai pe ke feʻunga ʻene ʻofa ʻiate au. Ko e konga ʻeni ʻe taha ʻo ʻIsilami fokotuʻu he ʻikai ke u teitei tali, ʻoku ʻikai totonu ke teitei fakangofua ha tangata ke ne mali tuʻo lahi koeʻuhi pe ko ʻene fie maʻu ke. ʻE mahino kiate au kapau naʻe ʻi ai ha ngaahi taumuʻa moʻui ʻa ha fefine ka naʻe ʻikai pe ke fiefia. Lolotonga e ngaahi taimi ʻo e Palōfitá (PBUH) naʻe fakangofua ʻeni koeʻuhi ko e ngaahi tau pea liʻaki ʻe he kau uitou taʻe ʻi ai ha taha ke ne tokangaʻi kinautolu. Ko e ʻuhinga ia naʻe fakangofua ai, koeʻuhí ke ʻi ai ha taha ke ne tokangaʻi kinautolu. ʻIkai ko ia ʻe lava ke hoko ʻa e tangata ko e fanga puaka…kuo liliu ʻa e tafaʻaki ko ʻeni ʻo ʻIsilami fokotuʻu ki ha meʻa palaku pea ko ha meʻa ia ʻoku ne ʻai ke ngali kovi ʻetau tui fakalotu. Ko ha kau Mosilemi mateaki au ka ʻoku lahi e ngaahi mali fakaliliʻa Mani au.
ʻoku ou tui tatau kay 🙂
ʻOku ke ʻiate koe 100%
ʻI he fakaʻapaʻapa kakato ki he anga hoʻo ʻofa ʻi ho husepānití mo hoʻo tuí, ʻOku ou saiʻia ʻiate koe ke fakamahinoʻi ha ngaahi poini siʻisiʻi … ʻOku ʻikai fie maʻu ʻa e houʻeiki tangatá ia ke nau fakangofua mei honau uaifí pe uaifí kapau te nau toe mali .. ʻoku lelei ange ke nau fakahā ki honau uaifí. Ko ha maʻuhala fakalukufua ia ʻi he Muslimah ʻoku nau pehe ʻe hoko ia ʻi heʻenau fakangofua ʻa ia ʻe fie maʻu ke mali ai honau tangata mo ha fefine kehe pe lahi ange ʻi he uaifi ʻe taha.
ʻOku ʻikai ke taha pe ʻuhinga ʻoku fakangofua ai ʻa e tangata ke ne maʻu ha meʻa lahi ange ʻi he 1 uaifi ʻi ʻIsilami fokotuʻu. ʻOku fie maʻu ke mahino kiate kitautolu ʻa hono loloto ʻo e palopalemá. ʻOku ʻikai ngofua ke vete mali ʻa e tangata koeʻuhi pe he ʻikai ke ne lava ʻo faʻeleʻi hono foha/ʻofefine ka ʻoku fakangofua ʻa e houʻeiki fafine ke nau kole KHULA (ʻa ia ʻoku fakangofua he taimi pē ko iá) if man is impotent. this is just one example and nothing more than it and there are many so .. always remember anything Approved / Allowed in Islam is for the benefits of both Men & Houʻeiki Fafiné … and we Muslims may ask for more details untill we have good understanding of the subject but are not allowed to refuse / deny those allowances.
As for Muslimah, do always remember Allah knows everything and he is mercy full, so what will you do .. Will you make DUA asking Allah
1. to grant you what is desired by you
pe
2. to ask Allah of all that is good for you according to HIM.
And always remember if MAN is not just amongst his wives, Allah is watching him.
@Marij Usmani
“Man is not allowed to divorce a woman just because she cannot give birth to his son/daughter…. but women are allowed to ask for KHULA (ʻa ia ʻoku fakangofua he taimi pē ko iá) if man is impotent.”
I am shocked by this backward/baseless thinking.
Impotence is not the same thing as infertility.
A woman who cannot conceive a child doesn’t have to be frigid.
Same goes for a man: he can be infertile without being impotent.
ʻIo, your right. But sisters. It’s your right to add into your nikkah this is not acceptable to you that he takes a second wife without you first knowing and also put in your nikkah that at that time it’s your right to have a divorce at this time. I was married to a wonderful man for 16 ngaahi taʻu, until he passed away. When we wrote our nikkah, I ask this to be added. And trust me, if your husband must choose between divorcing you before he takes a second wife. He will most likely never consider a second wife. Kuó u toki toe mali mo ha tangata lelei ʻe taha. Naʻá ma fakatou uitou. Naʻa ku toe faʻo ʻeni ʻi hoku nikkah. Ko e konga mahuʻinga taha ʻo ha mali faka-ʻIsilami lelei ʻoku tuʻuloa ko e fakaʻapaʻapa. Kapau te ke vilitaki ʻi he fakaʻapaʻapaʻi kita mei he kamataʻanga pea ʻe hoko ia ko e uho ʻo hoʻo moʻui fakataha ʻi Sha Allah.
ʻOku ʻikai fie maʻu ia ke ne kole premssion osemy ʻoku halal ʻikai haram. ʻOku ʻikai ke ʻi ai ha tōnounoú ʻa ia ʻoku pehē kuo pau ke tomuʻa kole ʻe he husepānití ki hono uaifí. ʻOku pehe ʻe he Quran kuo pau ke ne tokangaʻi lelei kinautolu ke nau fakapapauʻi ʻoku ne ʻomi ha nofoʻanga kehekehe maʻa e uaifi takitaha.
Ko hono moʻoní, ʻoku hala ia. ʻOku ʻikai ko ha haram ia ki ha tangata ke maʻu ha uaifi hono ua taʻe maʻu ha ngofua mei hono uaifi. ʻOku fakangofua ia ʻi ʻIsilami fokotuʻu pea ʻoku ʻikai ke ne fie maʻu ha ngofua. Neongo ia, kapau naʻe ʻikai fehiʻa ʻa e fefiné ʻi he ngāue ko ʻení, and did not want to give her husband this right, then it was her responsibility to mention this in the marriage contract. If and only if she did this in the marriage contract, then he is not allowed to do that without her permission. Ka ʻikai, it is not Haram at all and I earge you not to claim something is haram when it is not.
You need to put it in your marriage contract that you want a second wife.
my dear kar,
it is not because during jihad that marriage more than one is permitted in islam . but Allah ordered it in quran, the order of allah is justice because islam is full. no one can add or reduce quran,
lets come to nowadays situation, in any country you will see women that are affected for she couldnot get one to marry or she may divorce or widow. ʻOku ʻiloʻi lelei taha ʻe Allah ʻa e mamani ko ʻeni
naʻe pehe ange ʻe KAY ʻoku ou tui moʻoni kiate koe. ko e tafaʻaki pe ia ʻe taha ʻo e ʻIsilami fokotuʻu naʻe ʻikai ke u tui ki ai pe te u. ʻoku ou fuʻu siokita ʻi he taimi ʻoku haʻu ai ki hoku husepānití. he ʻikai ke u teitei vahevahe hoku tangatá mo ha taha neongo kapau ʻoku kau ki ha taha ʻoku moʻui. te tau lava ʻo poupouʻi mo tokoniʻi kinautolu kae ʻikai vahevahe hotau husepānití. ʻoku lahi ha ngaahi founga ʻe lava ai ha tangata ʻo tokoni mo poupouʻi ha kau fefine kehe kae ʻikai ke mali mo kinautolu pea maʻu ha faʻahinga vā fetuʻutaki. kapau ʻoku ʻofa moʻoni ha tangata ʻi hono uaifi he ʻikai ke ne teitei fakakaukau ki ha toe fefine pea ʻio hange ko e pehe ʻe KAY te u mavahe mei hoku tangata ko e fika ua ʻoku fakakaukau ki ai fekauʻaki mo e mali mo ha fefine kehe, neongo pe ko e hā e lahi ʻeku ʻofa ʻiate iá. ko e meʻa pe ia ʻoku ʻikai lava ʻe ha fefine ʻo toʻo. pea ʻuluaki kapau ʻoku fakakaukau ha tangata ki ha fefine kehe mei hono uaifi kuo ne ʻosi fai ha angahala pea mali mo ha fefine kehe taʻe loto ki ai hono uaifi te ne fai ha angahala lahi ange ʻo tatau ai pe pe ko e ha ha meʻa.
Shaina ʻoku ou faleʻi u 2 tui kakato ki he lea ʻa Allah ka ʻikai te ke ʻi he lotolotonga ʻo e taʻetui, Allah ʻi hono ʻiloʻi ʻe he tupuʻanga ʻa e meʻa ʻoku lelei kiate kitautolu, ʻOku fakangofua ʻa e tangatá 2 mali mo ha uaifi lahi ange ʻi he toko tahá pea ʻoku tau vakai kotoa ki he anga e fuʻu tōtuʻa ʻa e fefiné … Mahutafea ʻi he tangata ʻoku ou lotua he ʻikai ke ke ʻi he lotolotonga ʻo 39 pe taʻu ʻe 40 ladie ʻoku ʻikai ke ne fakapapauʻi ha tangata pau. te ne mali mo ia , uitou uitou, vete mali ʻa ia he ʻikai saiʻia ai ha kau tangata tokolahi 2 ʻuluaki pea ʻoku nau fie maʻu 2 toe mali. Ko e ʻISILAMI FOKOTUʻU QURIAN ko e tohi lesoni d 2 moʻui lelei ange mo nonga .
ʻOkú ke ʻi ai tonu ʻi he feituʻu ko iá, I fell the same way my husband keep telling me that he is allow to Marry and so he would not need my permission to do so. I love my husband so much that I can not see myself sharing him with another woman. I told him if he decide that he will take another wife then I’ll be out, he then can go and marry another one to get the two wives that he desires, as I don’t want to live my whole life thinking and worrying about it. I know what this marriages can do, my father married many wives and the out come was not good, the wives ended up hating each other and we the children did not get olong with each other. How can they think they can treat both the wives equally, it’s easy said than done, it’s not possible to love the wives the same. They are just doing it for their selfish reasons.
Sister when you said i will never accept this part of islam you could have come out the fold of islam!! becareful what you say Islam does not revolve round you but your revolve round islam what ALLAH SWT made permisable who are yo to make it haaram
I love this reply, that’s exactly how I feel about men marrying multiple wives today. Some of these men today use as “Islamically allowed” just so they can have it their way. Not fair!
let me just clarify:
I wouldn’t allow my future husband to marry a 18 never married single gal, but if he’s going to marry a widow, a divorced or older lady who couldn’t get married, then maybe, mahalo ʻe lava ke ta talanoa kau ki heʻene maʻu ha uaifi hono ua….
SIS kapau ko e kau Mosilemi moʻoni koe pea te u faleʻi lahi koe ke ke manavasiʻi ALLAH. ʻoku ʻikai ke tau lava ʻo fehuʻia ALLAH. ALLAH ʻiloʻi e meʻa kotoa pe ka ʻoku ʻikai ke tau. ʻOku ALLAH ʻilo lahi ange kiate kitautolu pea tau ʻiloʻi kitautolu. ʻOku ou tui ʻoku fie maʻu ke ke ako lahi ange fekauʻaki mo ʻIsilami fokotuʻu, pea ʻoua naʻa ke fakafekiki mo ALLAHER fekau. ʻoku haram ke fai ia.
ʻoku ou tui foki ʻoku totonu ke ke ʻiloʻi ʻoku. kapau ʻoku ʻofa moʻoni ha husepāniti ʻi hono uaifí pea he ʻikai ke ne teitei liʻaki ia. he ʻikai ke ne lava ʻo nofo mo ia. ʻoku maʻu ʻa e ʻofa mei ALLAH. talangofua KI ALLAH pea ʻe ʻofa ho husepaniti ʻiate koe.
ʻoku ou ʻamanaki ALLAH tokoniʻi kotoa kitautolu AMIN!!!
ʻoku ou tui tatau mo koe Kay. ʻio ʻoku totonu ke tau vahevahe hotau husepānití? ʻi Quran naʻe pehe ke mali ʻo laka hake ʻi he taha. ʻoku tupu ʻeni he naʻe mate ha kau tangata tokolahi ʻi he lolotonga ʻo e palofita ko Mohamed tme koeʻuhi ko e tau, ko ia ʻoku totonu ke ʻoua naʻa tuēnoa honau uaifí mo e fāmilí pe ʻikai ke nau hē ʻi ha founga hala. ko ia naʻe pehe pe ʻi Quran ke mali mo ha toko taha pe lahi ange. kapau kuo uitou ha fefine te u kole ki hoku husepānití ke ʻoange haʻane koloa , fai ha ako ki he fānaú pea mo e paʻangá foki. naʻe ʻikai ke u faʻa vahevahe mo hoku husepānití hili ʻeku mālōloó. ʻoku ou ʻofa ʻiate ia ʻo lahi ange ʻi ha toe meʻa.
Ko e ha ʻa Halal ʻe hoko maʻu pe ko Halal pea mo e meʻa kuo pehe ʻe Allah ka-ʻe kei haram maʻu pe….ko e meʻa ʻoku tau fakakaukau ki ai ʻi he meʻa naʻe lea ʻaki ko e ngaahi fakamatala pe ʻoku ʻikai ha meʻa……pea manatuʻi Allah kaʻoku ne ʻiloʻi lelei taha ʻi heʻene fakatupu kitautolu mo ʻiloʻi lelei ʻa e meʻa ʻoku totonu ke tau fai mo e meʻa ʻoku fie maʻu ke tau fakaʻehiʻehi mei ai….ʻe hoko maʻu pe ʻa e tangata ko ha kau tangata pea ʻoku ou tui ko hono taimi naʻa tau fakaha ai ʻoku….ʻoku ngangaʻehu ʻa e konitineniti tautautefito ki hono fakaangaʻi ʻo e ngaahi mali lahi pea ʻoku nau fiefia maʻu pe ʻi he meʻa ko ia ʻoku mamata ki ai ʻi he taufehiʻa mo e fakaliliʻa Mani ʻe he sosaieti…ko e ha ʻa e totonu ʻoku maʻu ʻe he sosaieti ke fai ha faʻahinga meʻa peheni….pea ʻoku tau maʻu leva e kau Peasiá ʻoku nau mioʻi e tuí pea ʻikai ke nau faʻa mali mo ha fefine hono uá ka ʻoku nau tuʻu fakalao ʻi ha pō ʻe taha mo e tokāteline ʻo Mutaá :\
Naʻá ku tō ki lalo ʻi he tuofefine tatau.
Sisitā, Te u tokanga ke u pehē ʻoku lahi e ngaahi nofomali ʻokú ke fakaliliʻa ki aí. Manatuʻi naʻe fakangofua ia ʻe ʻAsaahá pea mo e Palōfitá (ko e fakatupu lelei taha ʻo e meʻa kotoa pē) ke ʻiate ia ʻa e melinó, naʻá ne akoako fakahoko ia. Ko ia ko hono moʻoní, ʻokú ke pehē ʻokú ke fehiʻa ʻi ha meʻa naʻe fakangofua ʻe ʻAlaahā pea ke nonga ʻa e Palōfitá ʻiate ia, akoako fakahoko. Ko ha konga ia ʻo ha tuʻunga fakatuʻutamaki ke ʻi he. ʻOku mahino mo fakangofua hoʻo meheka ʻi Islaam (even Aisha was jealous of the Prophet’s other wives, and even tried to stop one of his marriages from happening) but that never drove her to say she was disgusted or disagreed with Allaah’s ruling. He ko hono moʻoni, ko e kau Mosilemi, we SUBMIT our will to ALLAAH’s. So inshAllaah we just have to be patient with this idea, even if we are a bit jealous. ʻIkai ngata ai, there was and probably always be more women in the world than men, so technically you are leaving some poor Muslim sister without a loving husband to care for her. I’m not saying you should share your husband but if men want to take other wives then they can and we cannot put conditions on them that Allaah did not. They just need to make sure they are financially, physically and mentally capable of doing so, and if they dont then Allaah will question them about it.
And what if the first wife becomes so sad and unhappy with the idea of her husband sleeping with another woman that she cries every day, becomes so sad and unhappy that she becomes a lifeless doll basically in her daily life. Hangē ko e, she still performs her duties and obeys/respects her husband, but it hurts her so much she even cries during intercourse with her husband as he did the same with another woman. Does her happiness matter? Ofcourse not. since its Allah’s will and polygamy is halal. Ive had a friend with this situation. She cries every time they have intercourse and are intimate. Its so heartbreaking. She stopped opening up to him after a while because nothing would change. ʻOkú ne ʻiloʻi e ʻuhinga ʻokú ne loto mamahi aí mo e meʻa ʻokú ne fie maʻú, ka ʻoku ne pehe pe ko hono halal pea ʻoku totonu ke ne tali ia.
ʻOku fakahaaʻi ʻe hoʻo fakamatala ʻa hoʻo holi fakatautaha ke ne ikunaʻi ʻa e fono ʻa Allah. Ko e fono ʻo Allah(swt) ʻoku kakato ʻi he tapa kotoa pē. ʻIo, kuo pau ke maʻu ʻe ho husepānití ha ngofua meiate koe ke mali mo ha fefine kehe. Uá, mali hono tolú mo e faá ʻoku fakangofua ia ʻe he sharia. ʻOku lahi ha ngaahi meʻa ʻe lava ke fili ai ha tangata ke mali mo ha fefine kehe. i) Kapau ʻokú ne ongoʻi ʻe lava ʻe heʻene ngaahi holi fakasekisualé ʻo taki ia ki he ngaahi angahalá(tangata pe fefine mei he mali pea mo e ngaahi meʻa kotoa pe ʻoku haʻu fakataha mo ia). ii) Kapau ʻoku ʻikai ke ʻi ai haʻane fānau mei hono ʻuluaki uaifí(ʻOku ʻi ai haku kaumeʻa, ʻa ia ʻoku fāʻeleʻi ki he uaifi hono ua ʻo ʻene tamaí. ʻOkú ne ʻofa lahi ange ʻi heʻene faʻeé ʻi he tokotaha naʻe fāʻeleʻi ki aí. Ko hono moʻoni, naʻe fakamālohiʻi ʻe heʻene faʻeé hono husepānití ki he mali hono uá ke ʻi ai haʻane f). iii) Kapau ʻoku ʻikai fiemālie ki hono ʻuluaki uaifí ʻi he ngaahi meʻa mamafa. iv) Ke maluʻi ha uitou pe ha faʻahinga fefine pē ʻokú ne fie maʻu iá.
ʻOku vahevahe ʻa e ngaahi fatongia ʻo e tangata mo e uaifi ʻi ʻIsilami fokotuʻu. Te na fakatou lava he taimi ni ʻo liliu ia ʻo fakatatau ki heʻena felototahaʻaki, ka ʻo kapau ʻoku ʻi ai ha fepakipaki, ʻe fakamauʻi ia ʻo fakatatau ki he ngaahi fatongia naʻe vahevahe ʻe Allah(swt). Ko e tangatá ko e taki ia ʻo e falé. Ko hono fatongiá ke maluʻi mo tokonaki maʻá e fāmilí, neongo kapau ʻoku mālohi mo tōtō atu e uaifí. Ko e uaifí ko ha fakafiemālie, ko ha taha tauhi, ko ha ʻetivaisa, pea mo e tauhi ʻo e koloa ʻa hono husepānití ʻi he ʻikai ke ne ʻi aí.
Kuo pau ke ʻai ʻe he uaifí ke tohoakiʻi e tokanga ʻa hono husepānití kiate ia, pea kuo pau ke tauhi maʻu ʻa e fetokangaʻaki ko ʻen, pea kuo pau ke poupouʻi hono husepānití, koeʻuhí ke fakasiʻisiʻi ʻa ʻene ngaahi kavengá, and the natural pull on men towards other women is reduced/balanced. Man and women are psychologically different as well. Men get turned on, just by looking at other women. Ko ʻeni “Turning on” can be on different levels but its always there, whereas, this kind of attraction in women is nothing as compared to men, so she should be creative in keeping him attracted to herself, and always welcoming to the sexual needs of her husband!
Me Allah(swt) make it easy on all of us, and deal with us with His Mercy and Blessings. Ameen
WOW where did you evolve that doctrine -_- I mean that holds true for slaves but for multiple marriages, ʻikai…what if someone has more than average desire…would you rather see him satisfy it via haram means and let him go to hell or to have his company in heaven….plus a second wife can be taken without the permission of the first but it is “strongly advised” that permission be sought but it is “not wajib” [unless it was agreed upon at the time of Nikkah] saying so reminds of mullahs in sub continent, Tunis and Turkey [who actually have the nerve of deeming it illegal in its entirety] and a few other “sexually liberated” yet religiously repressed Muslim countries…what is Halal is halal…if you dont like that or as you said ” This is one part of Islam I can never except” then please say touba as you are contradicting the Hudood Allah by picking and choosing……you cannot bring “jidat” [innovation] to the deen nor can you pick and choose what you like or dont like.
what if a woman has more than average desire. Pe ko haʻane lea ʻaki kapau ʻoku fakaʻavalisi ʻene holi pea ʻoku ne fie maʻu ke fakapotopoto pe hono husepaniti he po kotoa pe 50% pe 33% pe 25% ʻo e ngaahi po.
kuo pau ke u tui tatau mo koe 100% ʻi he meʻa ko ia. ʻOku ou fakameʻapangoʻia ke pehe ka ko e tokotaha naʻa ne hiki ʻa e fakamatala ko ʻeni ko ha vale kakato ia pea hange ʻoku fuʻu fiemeʻa. Ka ʻi ai ha fefine Mosilemi moʻoni ʻoku muimui ʻi he Quran kae ʻikai ko e lisi ʻo e ngaahi ʻamanaki ʻa hono husepaniti’ ʻe ʻilo e founga ke feohi ai mo hono husepānití, ko ha lisi ngalivale peheni ʻoku ʻikai fie maʻu ia. ʻOku ʻikai ke tau fie maʻu ha lisi peheni mei ha niʻihi vale ke ne talamai e founga ke fai ki hotau husepānití pe husepāniti he kahaʻú. ʻOku kehekehe ʻa e tangata kotoa pē pea ʻoku nau ʻamanaki atu ki ha ngaahi meʻa kehekehe, ʻoku tatau pē ia maʻá e houʻeiki fafiné, ʻoku fekauʻaki e malí mo e fetuʻutakí, ʻoku ʻikai ko ha toko ua pe koe ʻoku fakataha ʻi he ʻaho ke maʻu ha tangata pe fefine pea ko e meʻa ia, ko e fē ʻa e fetuʻutakí, ʻiloʻi e meʻa ʻoku fie maʻu ʻe ho husepaniti kae ʻikai ko e meʻa ʻoku fie maʻu ʻe he vale ko ʻeni. ʻOku mateakiʻi mo foaki lahi ange ʻa e houʻeiki fafine ʻi he tokotaha naʻa ne hiki ʻa e fakamatala ko ʻeni ʻoku fakakaukau. ʻOku fakaʻamua ʻe he houʻeiki fafine ʻa e fakaʻapaʻapa mo e definitly lahi taha ʻoku taau mo ia, ko e fetuʻutaki mo ho uaifí ko ha founga ia ʻo e fakaʻapaʻapa. ʻIo ʻi ha ngaahi fonua Mosilemi ʻe niʻihi ʻoku ʻ mahaʻihaʻi ange ʻa e tangata- lipped’ ka ʻokú ke pehē ko e hā ʻoku pehē aí? ANGA FAKAFONUA, tuifio ʻe he kakai ʻIsilami fokotuʻu mo honau anga fakafonua, ʻOku ʻikai akoʻi ʻe ʻIsilami fokotuʻu ha tangata ke ʻoua naʻa fetuʻutaki mo hono uaifi. ʻI heʻeku hoko ko ha fefine mo ʻiloʻi e toni ʻo ha kau fafine kehe ʻoku ou ʻiloʻi he taimi ʻoku fai ai e fakaʻapaʻapá pea lahi mo e fetuʻutakí, ʻe maʻu ʻe he tangata ha meʻa pe ʻoku ne fie maʻu, falala mai kiate au he meʻa ko ia. kapau ʻoku foaki ki he fefiné pea kei taʻetokanga pē ki he ngaahi fie maʻu ʻa hono husepānití pea ʻokú ne fie maʻu ta ʻokú ke mali mo ha faʻahinga fefine hala, ʻoku ʻikai totonu ke mavahe ʻa e houʻeiki fafiné mei he anga taʻefakaʻapaʻapá mo e anga taʻe fakaʻapaʻapá koeʻuhí ko ha ʻuhinga, infact ʻoku totonu ke tuku toko taha pē kinautolu ʻo ʻikai mali koeʻuhí ke nau lava ʻo ako mo fakakaukauloto mo fai ha liliu ʻiate kinautolu pē. Ko e founga ʻoku ou sio ki aí ko e, fai ki ho uaifí ʻa e founga ʻokú ke ʻamanaki ke toe tokangaʻi ai koé, fai ki ho husepānití ʻa e founga ʻokú ke ʻamanaki te ne fai atu kiate koé, ʻoku tuʻunga tatau ʻa e houʻeiki tangatá mo fafiné, ʻOku ou helaʻia he kau tangata puke ko ʻeni ʻoku nau pehe ʻoku nau taau mo e meʻa kotoa pe ʻi he taimi ʻoku ʻikai ke nau foaki ai ha meʻa, kuo fakakaukau ʻa e tangata ni ki he ngaahi fie maʻu mo e fie maʻu ʻa e kakai fefine?? ʻoku tokanga taha ʻa e tangata ni ki he ngaahi meʻa fakamamani ke fakahaaʻi ʻa e ʻofa, ʻokú ne fuʻu puputuʻu. AKO KI HE FAKA-ʻALEPEA FAKA-ʻALEÁ PEA LAU PEA MAHINO KIATE KOE ʻA E QURAN, ʻOUA ʻE FAKAFALALA KI HE MEʻA ʻOKU TALAATU ʻE HE KAKAI KEHÉ. ʻOua ʻe tokanga ki hono kamataʻi ha pisinisi ke malieʻia ai ho uaifi pea ʻoange ha meʻa lahi ange kiate ia, fefe hono lau ʻo e Quran ke mahino mo kole allah ke maʻu moʻoni ʻa e meʻa ʻoku ke fie maʻu. ʻOku lahi e meʻa ke u lea ʻaki ka ʻoku ou ongoʻi kuo feʻunga ʻeku lea.
Naʻe pehē ange ʻe.
ʻoku ou tui tatau mo koe 100% Kay. ʻE sai ange kiate au ke u vete mali mo hoku husepānití ʻi haʻaku fakaʻatā ia ke mali mo ha taha kehe.
Salam .
Taimi ʻe niʻihi kuo pau ke ke tokanga ʻi he ngaahi lea ʻokú ke fili ʻi hoʻo talanoa kau ki hoʻo tuí. He ʻikai lava ke ke pehe ko ha mosilemi au ka ʻoku ʻikai ke u loto fiemalie ki he mali tokolahi. He ʻikai ke u lava ʻo pehe ko ha Mosilemi au ka he ʻikai ke u foaki ʻa e ʻofa faka-Kalaisi (meʻa taʻeʻaonga) ʻOku ʻikai ko e fili pe.
ʻUluaki, ʻoku puleʻi ʻa e mali tokolahi ʻe Allah pea kuo pau ke ke tali ia. Mahalo he ʻikai te ke saiʻia ai pe fie akoako ia ka ʻoku sai pe ia. so my advice is follow the advice above and make sure your husband has everything he could ever want from you and so he won;t even look at another woman. ʻOku ʻiloʻi lelei taha ʻe Allah.
it says in quran it is permitted i wouldnt accept it….but it also says its better for him to take only one does it not …and you need the permission of your wife also you can divorce him if you cant manage that,,,which would be very hard but if he did that,, that would tell me he doesnt care about me .
Totally agree with this..every single detail by sister Kay
This is how I feel,and how every women feels,thank you for writing it so clearly,I would never stay with my husband if he took a second wife,neve ever in a million years,i would rather live alone
That is the problem you can’t live a million,you’re doomed and my advice to you is to fear Allah and the last day ,the day your feelings will not be considered
Assalamu Alaykum!
My dear Sisters & Brothers, We will do absolutely good to Our Souls if We desist from ‘Extremism’. Manatuʻi, that We can NEVER change the Words of Allah Azawajal to suit Our selfish desires!
To My Sisters who ‘swears’ against sharing their husbands with other Sisters as Allah Ta’ala enjoins (for HE knows best): you will SURELY loose him to his CREATOR (SWT) someday. Subhanallah!
Beware of what comes out of your months about the DEEN, it may end up against you some day & you find yourself ‘BEGGING’ to be another man’s 2nd wife.
Allahu’allam!
Shukuran! Ma’asallam!
Salaam sister, quesrion; ʻoku ʻikai ke ke fai ha meʻa ʻi he taimi ʻo e tau? Fakamatoato? ʻOku tokolahi ha niʻihi ʻoku hoko he taimí ni ʻi heʻetau leá, tangata tokolahi ʻoku mate ʻi he taú, tokolahi e kau uitoú mo e fānaú ne nau liʻekina, ngaahi vete mali lahi mo e ngaahi fāmili kuo maumau, tangata tokolahi ange ʻoku hoko ko e kei siʻi. Ko e ha ʻa e meʻa ʻoku totonu ke fai ʻe he kau fafine rhis? Taʻelata koeʻuhí ko e siokita ʻa e kakai fefine kehé?
ʻOua naʻa fakalaveaʻi e ngaahi meʻá.. ko e fē feituʻu ʻoku pehē ai ʻoku totonu ke kole ʻe he houʻeiki tangatá ki honau uaifí ha ngofua ki ha tokolahi kehe????????
"Uaifi hono uá! Naʻe reverberated ʻa e ngaahi lea ʻi hoku ʻatamai. ʻUhinga? ʻOku ʻikai nai ke u sai feʻunga? ʻIkai ʻAupito! He ʻikai ke u teitei tali ha uaifi hono uá! Kapau ʻokú ke fie maʻu ha uaifi hono uá te ke lava ʻo ʻalu ʻo maʻu ha uaifi kehe pē te ke ʻiloʻi he ʻikai ke u ʻi heni he taimi te ke foki mai aí! Those were my words to my husband a few years ago when he mentioned to me that he is intending to marry again a second time. It was a woman recently divorced, 4 fānaú. She is having a hard time, naʻa ne pehe, she don’t know where the next meal is coming from or how to provide adequately for her children. “Where is their father?” I asked, “Can’t he take care of his own kids? Why do you a strange man have to carry another man’s burden? Surely there are other ways that you can help her out financially without having to MARRY her!
I could not imagine myself in a plural marriage. Sharing my husband with another woman. Sharing his love, his smiles, his jokes with a woman other than myself. I could not fathom him holding her close and whispering loving words in her ears. It was unacceptable. An outrage. After all I have been to him. Wife, lover, faʻē, toketaá, housekeeper. I raised 3 of his beautiful children. How can he insult me by marrying another woman as if I am not good enough? Not pretty enough. Not young enough or just plain not ENOUGH! NO! I could not accept that and I vehemently made my stance clear to him. If she walks in, I walk out! Plain and simple. If he is willing to risk our marriage, ʻetau moʻui, our children for another woman, then he must go ahead. I will not stand for it!
It all seems so many years ago now. When I thought that life would last forever and that nothing will ever change. But it did….My husband did not get married to a second wife. Hili ʻeku ngaahi fakatokanga mo e fakamanamana kotoa ʻo ʻeku mavahe naʻa ne liʻaki e fakakaukau. ʻOku ʻikai ke u ʻilo pe ko e hā e meʻa naʻe hoko ki he kakai fefiné mo e fānaú. ʻOku ou tui naʻa nau hiki ki ha kolo ʻe taha.
Naʻe ʻikai ke ne toe lave ki ha uaifi hono ua pea naʻa ku fiefia ʻi he meʻa ko ia. Naʻá ku lava pē ʻo piki ki hoku husepānití ka naʻe ʻikai ke u ʻilo kuo ʻosi homa taimí. Ko ʻene lea fakaʻosi kiate au naʻe langa hono ʻulu pea te ne tokoto hifo ʻo aʻu ki Esha. Naʻe ʻikai ke ne teitei lau ʻa ʻEsha Namaasi he pō ko iá, koeʻuhí he naʻe ʻikai pē ke ne ʻā hake. Naʻá ku loto mamahi ʻi heʻene mālōlō fakafokifā. Ko e tangata kuó u fakamoleki ʻeku moʻuí mo, fakahaofi meiate au ʻi ha sekoni ʻe taha. Naʻá ku tengihia fuoloa ia, taimi lōloa. Taʻetokanga ki heʻeku fānaú mo e pisinisí. Ne ʻikai fuoloa kuo mole tahataha e meʻa kotoa. ʻUluaki kaa he taimi ko ia ko e falekoloa, pea ko e fale leva. Ne mau hiki atu mo hoku tokouá mo hono fāmilí. Ko ʻeku 3 naʻá ku fakaʻitaʻi mo e fānaú ʻa e falé pea ʻikai fuoloa kuo ʻita hoku tuofefine ʻi he laó ʻi heʻema ʻi aí. Naʻe fie maʻu ke u hu ki tuʻa, ke ngāue mo kumi ha potu ʻo kitautolu kae ʻikai moʻui mei he toenga ʻo e niʻihi kehé. Ka naʻe ʻikai haʻaku potoʻi ngaue. ʻI he taimi naʻe moʻui ai hoku husepānití naʻa mau moʻui fiemālie pē. Naʻe ʻikai fie maʻu ia ke u ʻalu ʻo ngāue pe teuteuʻi au ʻaki ha pōtoʻi ngāue. Naʻe faingataʻa ʻaupito ʻa e moʻuí kiate au mo ʻeku fānaú pea naʻe ʻikai ke u kei siʻi. Naʻá ku ʻofa kiate ia ʻi he ʻaho kotoa pē ʻaki ʻa e tā kotoa pē ʻo hoku mafú. ʻE lava fefe ke liliu lahi e tuʻunga ʻoku ʻi ai ha taha? Naʻe talamai ʻe hoku tokouá ʻi ha ʻaho ʻe taha ʻoku kumi ʻe ha taha ʻokú ne ʻiloʻi ha uaifi. Ko ha tokotaha lelei ia, akhlaq lelei mo maʻoniʻoni. Haohaoa kiate au, ka ʻokú ne fie maʻu ke u hoko ko hono uaifi hono uá.
Ko e tuʻo ua ʻaki ia ʻi heʻeku moʻuí naʻe talamai kiate au ʻa e foʻi lea uaifi hono uá. Ka ʻoku kehekehe fēfē ʻa e ngaahi tūkungá. Naʻá ne haʻu ki he ʻapi hoku tuongaʻané ke sio mai kiate au. Naʻe ʻi ai ha fehokotaki he taimi pē ko iá ʻiate kimaua. Naʻá ku saiʻia ai pea naʻá ku saiʻia ʻi he meʻa kotoa pē fekauʻaki mo iá. Naʻá ne talamai ʻoku ʻiloʻi ʻe hono ʻuluaki uaifí ʻokú ne teu mali ka ʻoku mahino ʻoku ʻikai ke ne poupouʻi ʻa e fakakaukaú pea ʻoku ʻikai ke ne ʻilo pe ko e hā ʻene talí ʻi he taimi te ne talaange ai kuó ne maʻu ha tahá. Naʻá ne pehē ko ʻene talí, ʻe fakafalala pē ki heʻene tali ʻa e Mali Tokolahí. Naʻá ku kamata lotu ʻi he pō ko iá ko Istikhara. Naʻá ku fuʻu fie maʻu lahi ia ke fakaleleiʻi. Naʻá ku manatuʻi ʻi he ngaahi taʻu lahi kuo hilí ʻa e fakafalala ʻa e moʻui ʻa ha fefine ʻe taha ki heʻeku filí pea mo ʻeku filí. Naʻá ku ongoʻi fakatomala, Naʻá ku ongoʻi koeʻuhí he naʻe ʻikai ke u ʻoange ha faingamālie ki ha fefine ʻe taha, ko ha konga ʻi heʻeku moʻuí, ʻe tauteaʻi au ʻe Allah he taimi ko ʻeni.
naʻá ku fakatomala, naʻe ʻikai tuʻo taha ʻi heʻeku moʻuí kuó u pehē ʻoku taau ʻeku ngāué mo e fakatomalá koeʻuhí he naʻe ʻikai ke u fai ha meʻa hala. Naʻa ku maluʻi pe ʻa e meʻa naʻe ʻaʻaku. Ko ʻeni kuó u ʻi he ngataʻangá, Naʻá ku fakatokangaʻi ʻeku hala ʻi hono fakaʻikaiʻi ha fefine ʻe taha ʻa e faingamālie ko ʻeni ʻo ha husepānití. Naʻá ku lotua ke ne tali au. Naʻá ne telefoni mai ʻi ha ngaahi ʻaho siʻi mei ai ʻo talamai ʻoku faingataʻa ki hono uaifí ke ne tali ia ka ʻokú ne loto fiemālie ke feʻiloaki mo au. Naʻá ku manavasiʻi ʻi he ʻaho ʻo e fakatahá. Naʻá ku lotu lahi ʻi he ʻaho kimuʻá peá u kole kia Allah ke tokoni mai. ʻI heʻeku feʻiloaki mo iá, ko ha tokotaha ia, ko ha fefine hangē ko aú. Ko ha fefine ʻoku ʻofa ʻi hono husepaniti mo e manavasiʻi naʻa mole ia. She took my hand and with tears in her eyes said: “This is very hard for me, but I hope that we can be sisters” her words broke my heart. All I needed in these dark days was a hand reaching out to me and embracing me, giving me hope and the will to carry on. His wife was to me, the woman that I could not be and I will be forever grateful for that. I thought that no one could love her husband the way I loved mine, but she taught me the true meaning of unconditional love.
You never know a person’s situation until you are in it.
Judge by what is right according to Qu’ran and you will see how Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala will sent double fold of blessings your way.”
assalam alaikum I need to correct you , you cannot say you disagree with something because it doesnt suit you or you dont like it;
ﭑﭒﭓ
33:36
SAHIH INTERNATIONAL
It is not for a believing man or a believing woman, when Allah and His Messenger have decided a matter, that they should [thereafter] have any choice about their affair. And whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger has certainly strayed into clear error.
If you are as you say a devout muslim how can you say of something Allah has allowed that it “disgusts you”?? You dont understand it fully and you really should not say such things because you are actually saying that you ar disgusted with Allah! AstafirAllah. You need to make taubah and try to learn more. May Allah swt guide us all.
we believe in the whole of the book and accept Allah swts rule even if we cant fully understand it because He knows us better than we know ourselves.
You said it !!
The author of the article should revise that fact about multiple marriages and how it say it should be undertaken only due to dire needs (not because He wants to for fun). The hadith regarding this matter says fair treatment. Men cannot even manage one woman fairly, how would he be able to multi task with two women who have two separate needs and expectations.
Women in 2017 don’t need financial assistance from their spouse. We can hold up our own end and run the household just as equally like men. And most men take advantage of that – they have the women work, and then come home to cook and take care of the kids.
I’m with you 100%, Kay. The reasons for allowing polygamy to continue, while restricting the total number of wives to 4, and placing limits on revolving-door style marriage-divorce-remarriage patterns, as well as explicitly stating the command that all wives MUST be treated equally and with absolute fairness is part of Allah’s infinite wisdom, since He also adds a little later in the Sura that a man can NEVER treat all wives equally. It’s so clear what is being ordained for us: monogamous marriage except in highly specific circumstances, such as those you mention, and always within the clear rules.
Naʻe toe foaki foki ʻe Asw Allah ha ngaahi totonu ki he houʻeiki fafine kapau he ʻikai ke ne tuku kehe pe hono uaifi hono ua te ne lava ʻo kole ke vete mali pea toe fai e mali
ʻoku fai kaumeʻa au ʻe ha tangata Mosilemi, pea ʻoku ou fakatokangaʻi ʻoku kiʻi mālie ʻa e ʻikai ke u teitei ʻilo ha taha hangē ko iá…ʻoku ne pehe ʻoku ne ʻofa ʻiate au pea ʻoku ʻikai ke ne lava ʻo moʻui w/meiate au, ka naʻá ne fai mai e fehuʻi ko ʻení, fefe kapau naʻe ʻi ai 2 ʻo kitautolu? ʻoku ne fie mali mo au ka naʻa ne lea ʻaki fefe kapau naʻe ʻi ai ha toko 2? Naʻá ne fakamatalaʻi ʻe tatau ai pē pe ko e hā ha meʻa te ne fai ʻaki hono lelei tahá, ka ʻo kapau te ne iku maʻu ha uaifi hono 2 naʻá ne pehē he ʻikai ke ne teitei liʻaki au mo fua hoku ngaahi fatongia ko e husepāniti mo e tamaí pea ʻoua naʻá ne teitei mavahe mei hoku tafaʻakí….ʻoku ou fuʻu moʻutafuʻua ʻi he ngaahi meʻa ni kotoa, ʻoku ou ʻiloʻi ʻoku fuoloa ʻo taʻengata….ʻoku ʻikai pe ke u ʻilo pe ko e ha haʻaku fakakaukau ki ai…i am glad i read your post though, it has got me thinking, but i am still in the clouds about it……i am a christian, and i dont know whether i should stay in this relationship or just call it quits…..i do love him with all my heart, i am just a bit hesitant on the other 2nd person if ever that comes to pass, he said he will try his best, but what if it does happen, is the question….
Don’t do it, if a man is already thinking of another woman even before marrying you, he obviously can’t be all that in love with you, kātaki :(. Saying I love you is not enough ;).
I follow no religion, was raised christian.
Lve !
First ray of real light I’ve seen in these sad and depressing comments. Although I did very much appreciate zuhrA’s story.
Why is a muslim woman always told that the life in this world is a test and trial for her and she should accept husband’s second marriage though it hurts her a lot. Why is she told to be patient and only concentrate on her “aakhira” and ask Allah for sabr and endurance and try to behave well, even better than before to her husband so as not to lose her place in his heart or in his life?
Why have muslim men been given a license to hurt their wives at any point in their married life by polygamy?
Why are men not told to concentrate on aakhira rather than just fullfilling their sexual desires in this world? They should also be told to be content with one wife and pray more and ask Allah for peace of mind and heart. Why only wife has to live her whole life with only sabr and pain.of husband’s second marriage?
yeah sure , he’ll like that. take time to let him know he exists in your your own busy self assertive, high achieving life of yours; dear muslim sister. the holy qur’an declares that Allah subhana allah wa taa’al permits him to take up to four wives as long as he gets all the necessary protocol boxes ticked. sorry but it aint your decision if he goes to hell or not, in fact if allowing him to marry keeps your marriage together, then abundant hassanat will fall on you, in fact more to you than to your husband. … and the worst (halal) thing in marriage is divorce………..correct me if im wrong anyone!
The Quran does state that the husband is allowed to take up to four wives but only if he has the means to provide for them. It is not wajib brother it is merely a choice/optional for Men.
Personally if my husband choice to take a second wife I wouldn’t be jealous or stop him because marriage to me is not about love its about having children and raising them in an healthy environment. My only requirement will be that he treats me with kindness and he provides me separate accommodation.
Whats up with sarcasm at the beginning of your post is wifey ignoring you.
You sir are correct issue at hand is that most people here are A. From the subcontinent :p repression central and B. They were born and raised in the west, especially the UK where we have Ulema who now grant permission for Muslimahs to marry Christian men and call it Halal…..
The part about sex is ridiculous. No one should be forced to have sex if they’re not up to it.
I completely agree. I read that, and I was shocked! No one should have to have sex if they don’t want to! I know men desire sex, but they’re men and they should be able to control it and accept that they’re wives sometimes just don’t want to do it.
I am sure it is in the context that husbands should try to coax their wives, instead of saying ‘let’s go”.
Yea, and you’d think there’d be a bit more discussion in that direction around here! Oh well, baby steps….
ʻOku totonu ke ke fai ia kimuʻa pea toki mali, ʻe sai ange ke ke ʻalu ki ha taha kehe.
Salamuʻalaikum wa rahmatuLlahi wa barakatuh,
Hoko ko ha kau fafine tokanga. Kapau ʻoku pehe ʻe Allah kiate kitautolu, houʻeiki fafiné, ke fakasiʻia e holi ʻa hotau husepānití,
kuo pau ke tau fai ia. Tatau ai pē kapau ʻoku ʻikai ke tau loto ke fai ia.
Assalamo alaikum wa rahmatoolah,
ʻOku ou ʻilo ko e taha ʻeni ʻo e ngaahi konga faingataʻa taha ʻo ʻIsilami fokotuʻu. Ko ha toe foki au alhomdolillah pea u mali mo ha tangata Mosilemi fakaofo. Alhomdolillah ʻoku ne fuʻu molu mo mahino kapau ʻoku ʻikai ke u fie feohi vaofi ka ʻoku ʻikai ke fuʻu angaʻofa ʻa e kau tangata kehe.
ʻOku ou ongoʻi ʻo hange ʻoku fakatau ʻetau ngaahi konga fakatautaha pea ʻoku tau totongi pe vaginas kuo pau ke ʻata ki he tangata pe fefine 100% ʻo e taimi ʻo tatau ai pe pe ko e ha e ngaahi ongo ʻoku tau maʻu. ʻOku ne fakahohaʻasi moʻoni au. Ko e ha, naʻa ne ʻoange ha paʻanga meia Mahr, so now he owns her and she’s his sex slave?
This is not an issue for me personally, but I really find this to be incredibly sexist (no pun intended) and it’s as if the woman’s feelings are totally unimportant when her husband is horny. How she feels is less valuable than him getting off.
There are no contradictions in Islam at all,no loopholes….if ur husband loves you so much and u re not in the mood to be intimate he ll not go to bed angry because u ve nt agreed,.There should be understanding btw u.it is not irrespective of your feelings
There are, however sir, double standards- and I think that’s part of the root of what most people here contradicting you are getting mad about.
that is part of a man’s nature, tatau ai pe pe ko e Mosilemi pe ʻikai. ʻOku ʻi ai ha ngaahi fakamatala ʻe miliona mo e taha ʻi he ʻInitaneti naʻe faʻu ʻe he kau Mosilemi ʻoku nau lea ʻaki ʻa e meʻa tatau. Ko e MEʻA IA ʻOKU FIE MAʻU ʻE ha tangata. NAʻE pehē pē ʻa e founga ʻa ʻAAHá. Ko e fakahinohino ʻa e tangata Mosilemi ko e melino ʻa e Palofita kiate ia. Vakai ki he anga ʻo ʻene feohi mo hono uaifí. Ko e konga kotoa pē ʻo ʻene moʻuí naʻe hiki. Pea naʻe ʻikai teitei lāunga ha taha ʻo hono ngaahi uaifí ʻi ha faʻahinga meʻa. Naʻá Ne angaʻofa mo angavaivai fakataha mo kinautolu. Meʻapango he ʻoku ʻikai ko e tangata Mosilemi kotoa pe ʻi he founga ko ia he ngaahi ʻaho ni pea mahalo ʻoku iku ia ki he konga lahi ʻo e ngaahi ongo kovi ʻoku maʻu ʻe he houʻeiki fafine fekauʻaki mo e ngaahi nofomali lahi, etc.
Naʻá ku loto fiemālie ki he meʻa naʻá ke lea ʻak, ko ʻeni kuo ʻi ai ha ngaahi ʻaho he ʻikai teitei tatau ai ʻa e tangatá mo hotau palōfitá ke ʻiate ia ʻa e melinó.
Pea naʻa ku- ʻi heʻeku hoko ko ha tangata- ʻoku ou fiefia ʻi hono ohi hake au ʻi ha founga fakasivilaise, pea malava ke mapuleʻi ʻeku ngaahi ongo pea holi ki ha meʻa ʻoku toe lahi ange. Mahalo naʻa mo fakaʻeiʻeiki- ʻo e ʻatamai ʻi he siʻisiʻi taha.
ʻOku ʻikai ke u toe fie maʻu ha kumi ʻuhinga ki he taʻehoungaʻia behaviour, ʻOku lahi e meʻa ʻoku ou maʻu mei he moʻui ʻa e sosaieti ʻoku ne fakalotolahiʻi au ke u houtamaki mo fekeʻikeʻi.
ʻOku fakafuofuaʻi ʻa e tangata pe fefine ʻi tuʻa, pea ʻi he loto ʻo e kakai fefiné ʻoku fufuuʻi ʻi loto. Kapau ʻoku ʻikai ke ke fiemalie fakasekisuale mo koe pea ʻoku ne ʻalu atu ke ikunaʻi e maa, mahalo te ne to ki ha meʻa kehe, pea ʻe iku ʻo hoko ai ha fakatamaki lahi ange ʻi he “Tangata pe fefine ʻoku ʻikai ke ʻi ai haʻane ongo/ʻikai fie maʻu ke”. Kapau ʻoku fakafisi ha kakai fefine ke fakafiemālieʻi hono husepānití, ʻo hangē ko e fakafisi ʻa e husepānití ke tokonaki pe maluʻi hono fāmilí koeʻuhí he ʻoku ʻikai ke ne loto ke fai ia. Ko hono fatongia pau ʻo e uaifí ke fakafiemālieʻi hono husepānití, mo maluʻi ia ʻi heʻene fakahoholoto ʻi ha faʻahinga meʻa ʻoku taʻefakalao pe ʻikai tohoakiʻi hono ngaahi fatongiá.
“ʻikai fie maʻu ke” pea ʻoku ne kei hoko atu pe ki ai? ʻOku ou ui ʻa e tohotoho fakamalohi ko ia.
Kātaki ʻo fakakaukau kimuʻa peá ke tohí, ʻokú ke pehē ʻoku ngalivale ʻa e Hadith
Assalamu alaikum
sisitā Fatima, ʻOfa ke ALLAH fakamolemoleʻi koe. ʻOua naʻá ke fakaʻaongaʻi ha faʻahinga lea fakamamahi ke fakahaaʻi ʻaki hoʻo ngaahi ongó. ʻe sai ange kiate au ke ʻoua te u ongoʻi. Koeʻuhi ko ʻISILAMI FOKOTUʻU ko e founga haohaoa pe ia ʻo e toʻonga moʻui. Kapau ʻoku ke ongoʻi ha meʻa hala pea ke fai ha fakatotolo ʻi he tefito ko ia mo InshaALLAH te ke maʻu moʻoni hoʻo tali. Naʻa ke talamai “ʻOku ʻikai totonu ke fakamālohiʻi ha taha……..”. Naʻe ʻikai ke u maʻu ha meʻa ke fakamālohiʻi. Naʻa mo ALLAH ʻoua naʻa ke fakamalohiʻi ke lotu. ʻOku pehe ʻe ALLAH ʻoku lahi ha ngaahi meʻa ke tau fai pea mo e meʻa kotoa pe ke tau toe lelei ange ai. Ko e niʻihi ʻo e founga ʻoku tau saiʻia aí mo e niʻihi ʻoku ʻikai ke tau saiʻia aí. That doesnt mean whatever we like is good and rest is ridiculous. Some times we dont feel like to wake up early in the morning for salah but that doesnt mean that its a ridiculous timing. what I have noticed from the hadith “When a man calls his wife to his bed, and she does not respond and he (the husband) spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her until morning.
Bukhari mo e Mosilemi”
“and he (the husband) spends the night angry”.. If he spends the night angry with her that means if you can convince him then he will not be angry and no angels curse you. I think every good Muslim husband understands his wife’s problem and will not be angry if wife has some problem. My above statement was based on what I have understood from the article. Correct me if i am wrong. I will appreciate that. Fee amanillah. Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah.
Asalam o Alakum
ʻI he ʻAho ni, if any western research say that ” don’t refuse your husband for sex if he wants to” and researcher may give any “xyz” reason, then it will not be “ridiculous” pea mo “unsettling part of Islam”. Every word is not only recorded here but also recorded forever for AKHARAT. Our words can be deleted from here but not from THERE.
As Salaamu alaikum Fatima and Leila,
I am not certain were in the world you are situated but living in the west and all of the Sexual propaganda that we are bombarded with is a great fitna. One of the purposes of getting married is to protect the private parts. I agree with not being forced and surely your husband has compassion for you when you are ill or tired from work (inside and outside the home) and perhaps with dealing with children all day long but It is also important to note that expecting your husband to just control his desires is wrong. Ko e Palōfitá (melino mo e ngaahi tāpuaki ʻo e Allah ke ʻiate ia) pehē kapau ʻe mavahe ha tangata mei hono ʻapí ʻo sio ki ha meʻa ʻoku holi ki ai, ʻoku totonu ke foki ki hono uaifí ʻo tangutu hifo. InshaAllah ʻoku toe fakapaleʻi foki koe ʻi he tuʻo tolu , tuʻo taha ki hono fakahoko ha holi ʻi halal founga, tuʻo ua koeʻuhi neongo naʻa ke “ʻikai ʻi he faʻahinga ongo ko iá” naʻá ke kei fakahoko pē ʻa e fakaʻamu ho husepānití pea tolú koeʻuhí he naʻá ke fakafanongo ki ho husepānití. ʻOfa ke Allah tapuakiʻi fakatouʻosi kimoua.
ʻoku ʻikai fakamalohiʻi ʻe ha taha ha taha luv. ʻoku ʻikai ko e palopalema ia. foki ki he ʻuluaki fakamatala ʻēseí ( fakapapauʻi ʻoku ke ʻiloʻi e meʻa naʻe hoko, toe lau ʻa e tali pea kapau ʻoku teʻeki ai pe ke ke ʻilo, tangutu mo ho husepānití ʻo fakapapauʻi ʻoku mahino kiate kimoua ʻa e fehuʻi mo e tali naʻe ʻuhinga ki aí. fai kotoa ʻeni kimuʻa pea ke mohe mo allah te ke toki realise lahi ange fekauʻaki mo ha mali moʻoni.
kapau ʻe tuku e fakafanongo ho husepānití kae ʻikai fie tokoni ke mahino kiate koe ʻa e meʻa ʻokú ke loto lelei ke, ka ko e ngaahi fie maʻú mo e ngaahi fie maʻú ke ne maʻu ʻa e meʻa pē ʻokú ne fie maʻú pea ʻi ha faʻahinga founga pē ʻoku fie maʻú, ʻe fie maʻu ai ʻa e meʻa ʻokú. pea ʻoku ke maʻu leva ʻa e totonu ke mavahe meiate ia pea fie maʻu moʻoni ha vete mali mei he malaʻe shariah (kapau ʻoku fekeʻikeʻi mo siokita mo fakamamahi kiate koe ʻa ʻene ngaahi toʻonga pea ta ʻoku ʻiate koe moʻoni ʻa ʻemau ngaahi ngaue. manatuʻi allah ʻikai ke nau teitei ʻomi ha meʻa lahi ange ki ha taha te nau lava ʻo matuʻuaki pe fua. Kapau he ʻikai ke ne tamateʻi koe pea te ne toki lava pe ʻo ʻai ke ke malohi ange!!!! Allahhu Akbar!!!!!
Ko e fakakaukau faka-ʻIsilami ʻeni neongo. Kapau ʻoku ke tui ki ʻIsilami fokotuʻu mo Allah kuo pau ke ke tui kapau ʻe fakafisi ha fefine ke fetuʻutaki mo hono husepaniti, pea ʻokú ne faiangahala. Ko e founga pe ʻeni, ʻi he ngaahi ʻapiako kotoa ʻo e fakakaukau ʻi ʻIsilami fokotuʻu. ʻOku ʻi ai ha ngaahi meʻa ʻe lava ke fakahoko ʻe ha fefine ʻi heʻene aleapau malí ke taʻofi ʻa e tangatá. ko e taha ʻoku ʻi he mali tokolahi te ne lava ʻo fakafisingaʻi hono husepaniti kapau ʻoku ʻi he aleapau nikkah. Neongo ia, ko e tangata pe fefine ko e totonu lahi taha ia ʻa e tangata ʻi he nofo-mali. ʻOku fuʻu mamaʻo ʻaupito ia ʻi ʻIsilami fokotuʻu kapau ʻoku fakaʻamu ha fefine ke ne fakahoko ha ʻaukai fili (ʻikai ko kinautolu ʻi he Ramateni Teni) ʻokú ne FIE maʻu ke fakangofua ʻe hono husepānití! koeʻuhí he ʻoku fie maʻu ʻe he husepānití ha tangata pe fefine pea ʻe fakafisingaʻi ia ʻe he uaifí koeʻuhí ko ʻene ʻaukaí. ʻOku ne fakahaaʻi moʻoni ʻa e lahi ʻo e totonu ʻa ha tangata ʻi he makasini ko ʻeni. ko e tangata pe fefine mo e fāʻeleʻi ʻo e fānaú ko e ngaahi totonu lahi taha ia ʻa e tangatá ʻi he nofo-malí. (ko e fakakaukau faka-ʻIsilami kotoa ʻeni pea ʻoku ou simpy fakahaaʻi ia mei he ngaahi ʻapiako kotoa pe ʻo e fakakaukau ʻi ʻIsilami fokotuʻu)
ʻIkai. If a woman refuses to have sex with husband and he understands why she is refusing to then she is not sinning. As Mohammed Mynul Islam said, ““and he (the husband) spends the night angry”.. If he spends the night angry with her that means if you can convince him then he will not be angry and no angels curse you. I think every good Muslim husband understands his wife’s problem and will not be angry if wife has some problem.” I agree with her. She will ONLY be cursed if her husband is angry. Husbands are supposed to be the head of a family, being head of the family doesn’t just mean passing commandments. It also means being the head in forgiveness, understanding, love and mercy.
I agreed with you.
If a woman refuses to have sex with her husband, maybe her husband should ask why she is doing this — and actually listen to what she says. Is the husband is being gentle when he has sex? Is he generous or selfish, only thinking of his pleasure. Is he repeating some move he saw in a movie? Does he have a good understanding of his own wife’s anatomy and psychology. Don’t get angry if your wife is not thrilled by certain gestures someone else told you “drives women crazy”. Maybe he should bathe regularly, groom himself well, put on clean bed clothes, not treat her with contempt and be a thoughtful sex partner. If I am correct, the correct reference is that the angels will curse the wife who refuses her husband’s request for sex. This matter of “refusing sex” is not poured in cement. The Prophet did warn men not to hurt their wives and then expect sex an hour later. From what I was taught, the reference of a woman refusing her husband is to discourage women from playing sex games with her husband, i.e. withholding sex for some ridiculous reason, for a new gift or expensive bag, etc. If a man is ignorant, unaware or does not care about his wife’s emotional and physical needs, then he has set the clock for her to NOT want to be with him. Brothers, marriage involves two people. So figure it out — It is not just about you.
well sis don’t get married then. that one thing man need just like food and drink. go on youtube and look for a video call things woman should know about man.
Sister Fatima, a husband is never permitted to force his wife to have sex with him. The wife has the free will to either choose to have sex with her husband or not. Our prophet Muhammad (Sallallahu ʻ alaihi wasallam) ʻo pehe pe kapau ʻe tuku ʻe ha fefine ke ʻi ai ha tangata pe fefine mo hono husepaniti, pea Alhamdulillah. Ka ʻo kapau ʻoku ʻikai ke ne tali, ko e toki taimi pē ia ʻe tauteaʻi ai iá. ʻOku ʻikai ʻuhinga ʻeni ʻoku maʻu ai ʻe he ngaahi husepānití ʻa e totonu ke fakamālohiʻi honau uaifí ke nau kau ʻi he tangata pe fefiné. Kapau ʻoku ʻikai te ke tuku ke ʻi ai ha tangata pe fefine mo ho husepānití taʻe ʻi ai haʻo ʻʻaonga’ reason, pea kuo pau leva ke faʻa kātaki ho husepānití, neongo ʻe fakamalaʻiaʻi koe ʻe he kau ʻāngeló ʻi he taimi tatau. ʻOku ke maʻu ʻa e fili tauʻataina ke fili. ʻI ʻIsilami fokotuʻu, he ʻikai ke tau lava ʻo fakamālohiʻi ha taha ke ne fai ha meʻa, ʻo hange ko e ngaahi siteiti Qurʻan: “ʻE ʻikai ke ʻi ai ha fakamālohiʻi ʻi he (tali ʻo e) ʻa e tui fakalotu.” (Qurʻan: Vahe 2, Veesi 256)
SubhanAllah fakamatala fakaʻofoʻofa mashAllah.. ʻofa ke Allah totongi lahi ʻi he ongo mamani fakatouʻosi ki hono fakamafola ʻo e ʻilo melino.xx
Fika 4 ʻoku veve.. ko e coz pe ʻa e tokotaha faʻu tohi deisres e kakai fefine kehe pe fakakaukau ke toʻo ha uaifi ʻe taha ʻoku ʻikai ʻuhinga ia ʻoku fai ʻe he tangata kotoa pe .. ko e tokolahi taha ʻo e kakai tangata angamahení ʻoku nau fiemālie pē ʻi ha uaifi pē ʻe taha…..pea ʻoku fakaʻaongaʻi tatau pē 2 houʻeiki fafiné ʻoku ʻikai ko ha kakai tangata pē …tokolahi ʻhangatonu’ ʻoku fie maʻu foki ʻe he fefine ha kau tangata kehe ka ʻoku mahino Der ʻikai gna talaange ki honau husepaniti LOL. Ko ha meʻa ngalivale ia ke lea ʻaki. Fakakaukau ange kapau ʻe talaatu ʻe ha taha ʻoku ʻ ʻoua te ke hohaʻa ki he fakakaukau ho uaifi ki he kau tangata kehe ʻoku angamaheni ʻaki pe’ ko e hā hoʻo ongó?? ʻOku ongoʻi tatau pē ʻa e houʻeiki fafiné, kiʻi fakaʻapaʻapaʻi
ʻOku ou tui tatau mo koe… Naʻa ku ʻohovale ke sio ki he anga hono fokotuʻutuʻu maʻamaʻa ta… hange ko e ʻikai ko ha fuʻu meʻa lahi….
ʻOku lelei ha ngaahi meʻa ʻe niʻihi ʻoku fai ʻi he fakamatala ko ʻení,ka ʻoku ʻikai ke ne fakatonuhiaʻi ʻa e sexist!ʻOku fakakaukau ʻa e tangata kotoa pē ke toe maʻu ha uaifi ʻe taha??I dont buy that.Atleast my husband doesnt.I do not agree with that.
Mālō ʻaupito!!! Fakaʻosi, smart men do exist!! Its HARAM to look at other women to begin with so how would it be ok for them to be attracted to other women….I don’t look or think about anyone but my husband!!
Hi Kay,
I know someone who says he loves his wife and yet wants to get married again! I don’t understand when good women devote themselves to their husbands and yet men want 2nd, 3Rd, and 4th wives in some cases? Surely if you love your wife you “do not do that.” Does their feelings don’t count anymore? If a man falls in love with another woman surely it means he never really loved the first?
subhan ALLAH. how can we question ALLAHER command. as far as i know most of the man have one wife. so don’t worry.lol
Kudos to the author. @ sara thinking of you before your husband (will marry or married) you is Haraam? This answers the question directed to the authoR.
@ sara in an earlier post could you deFine the word ‘normal’? Then your info can get ‘straight’.
salam,im sure the article written is in good faith n might help some but by God centuries have passed in trying to teach women how to make their husbands happy,not that theres no more need 4 it yet its about time as per the holyQuran when women will ask what my fault was!!! .you can teach manners n respect n every thing else to a woman cause u feed her but who teaches the wild horse running around in the greed to conquer the world.my ears are sick n tiered of listening to the word “peer pressures”.exposer n all that crap.by God there’s a thing called shaitan n we all have to fight it. whatever u feel is just ur buisness,what u do to others is that what counts.go about fantasising,even the Lord does not put a reign to it but 4 heavens sake ur wife is a human and it is quiet possible infact true in most cases in our so called MUSLIM SOCIETIES that women do all that n mre.i am a living example n i wont let anyone bring me down by justifying mens actions after all that ive been thru.my dear sisters i am beautiful,,ʻofa ,loyal never refused sex,even for a single day.he used to tell me ur the goddess ov it all.My Lord had to bring me down cause i made my husband my lord.yes!!! theres a thing called devil n he took the better of my husband n he repeated himself in his act of betreyal.god damn it it hurts.n its all this male mustangs fault.respect,huh!!! i used to kiss his feet,smell his pillow n shirts ,took care of his mom n welcomed his relatives.n now theres nothing but hurt n ppl tell me to 4give.HELL!!! yes we look 4 men who r followers of the great nabi not the followers of devil n their so called peer preasures .
Sister Sabeeqa, this life is a test for us to be rewarded in the life hereafter.
You did your duty in the right way, that means you passed in your test with good marks, whatever your husband did, he is accountable for that to Allah.
Just think of whatever you did was because Allah aksed you to do this (includes all the respect/care you gave to your husband), and imagine that Allah will definitely be happy with you coz you did as He had asked.
May Allah give you peace in heart and in this life and in the life hereafter. Ameen.
We have Your side of the story sister. First bring your husband to defend himself. Please brother & sisters do not start passing judgement in haste. It seems she’s expecting some fatwa & if she is then – tough luck, knocking the wrong door.
Salam
جزاكم الله يرحم لكم جميعا
Jazakumullah Khairan, may Allah strenghten you and give you more wisdom. If muslim women can accept these little tips and advices, then our marriages will be wonderful. Well done
jazaksllah for all d luvly advice
I find point 3 rather black and white. In particular the Hadith. Sometimes women refuse sex on the grounds of Ill health, pregnancy, childbirth etc. does that mean she would be cursed all night. Surely a Muslim husband would be accommodating and respectful of his wife in full
Knowledge of these matters. Therefore not expecting her if she was unwell. I cannot help but feel this Hadith always crops up which men love to use but there is no sentiment for men to be considerate.
I think the issue nowadays is women are raised with the idea that men are more perfect than they are, and more like women. The truth is that men and women are different, so the sooner you can move on from that the better. If you respect your husband and his needs ISA he will respect yours. If you don’t then don’t expect much from him. We do not live in fairy tales, our husbands are not prince charming, their real men with real needs, desires, and yes even emotions just like us. If you can’t except that get ready to be disappointed. (fyi their needs, desires, and emotions may be different from ours but their still there)
Prince charming!!! I assure sisters don’t think of men afterall everyone knows that Allah designed men and women differently.
110% agreed.
I would remove #7 if I were the author of this article TBH. I could see some poor girl who is being abused reading that and validating herself and coming back for more.
just my two cents
Fakamatala maʻongoʻonga, although I think number 4 needs to go.
To read that title ‘he thinks about other women’ and then the next one.. ‘he wants to make you happy’
WELL, great job done there.
I’m sure each wife will be happy with that. -_-
They are rather contradicting statements.
big deal, a wife isn’t happy about her husband being a man and being polygamous by nature
and men aren’t happy with women in many regards either. grow up and stop playing the victim. nothn
Asalaamualaykum.
I love this. jazakallahu khayr.
Sincerely, this was an eye opener. I loved it all.
Salaam to all Muslim brothers and sisters who are reading this article and its forum,
ʻOku ʻaonga ʻa e fakamatala ko ʻení. But there are certain aspects of that needs addressing. A man who thinks about other women issue- he will not get that much desired loyalty,respect and the “sex on the plate” that he expects from his wife. It has to be earned. In fact it works both ways- a wife will be loyal and her obedience, sex etc only when she FEELS secure in the marriage.
May I point out that marriage is very hard experience for both parties. Only patience, repect and hard work from both spouses on mutual basis are few of the qualities that can make the marriage work. It is about give and take.
astaghfirullah at number 4!!!! the author needs to reevaluate his Islamic morals! you are leading readers that are muslim men in the wrong path! For shame!
Even I agree with it, wat do u hav to say for this….?
Agreed…!
GOD has not created women emotionless
Inspite of her respect,loyalty n etc etc if he will still think about other women in anyway…’u can’t just justify by saying that all men do so or it’s their nature
Houʻeiki Fafiné, I take this as an opportunity to dispell some of the misunderstandings of this hadeeth. In every hadeeth there is meaning and insight to be gained. The hadith is not carte blanche for a man to come every night and request sex and then when refused hold this over her head. Islam is about logic and clear thinking. The hadith is meant for two people who are married and are being the best husband and wife to one another. This entails having respect and loyalty for one another, along with the feelings of passion and love to one another. So when a man asks his wife, and this is a good point, the hadith says “ASKS his wife”, not force it upon her, and she says no without reason, in order to get back at him, because they are fighting and she wants to teach him a lesson. But for the couple who are in agreement with one another and understand one another and know that perhaps you have had a long day, your stressed about work, your worried about your childrens exams etcc..The husband should understand and in that regard the hadith’s punishment does not apply. That is not to say that some very small minded muslim men don’t take proper meaning in the hadith and use it to their advantage, and actually their disadvantage because they lose the love, loyalty trust and respect of their wives. I hope that shed some light on the issue for you all. Salam
I agree with you may Allah forgive us and help us have a better understanding of our deen.
Thank you for making it clear, I was already shocked by the comments 0.0
Nicely worded brother. It’s about consent on both sides. Many of the schools of thought also require a husband to fulfill his wife’s sexual needs and this is not at all ruled out by this Hadith which I think some people feel it may be.
Assalama aleikum,
I would say some of the sisters plz know the different between yr opinion and the prove of the hathis or the quran, what you think doesnt matter what matter is what allah say.
Sai pē….we need to understand that the author is just telling it like it is…..men do think about other women…just as women do other men….it doesnt mean either will act on it. As far as the sex thing….the qaran does tell us this….hopefully our husbands are understanding and considerate of our feelings….but it is our obligation …..Overall…this article was very useful…and it helped me understand my husband a little more…as I am a revert from a western culture and my husband is north african….my biggest concern in our marriage has been that he doesnt talk and share with me as much I felt he should. i understand now why…and hope that we can adjust to each other more. Thankyou
Assallamualaikum brothers and sisters,
Firstly, I would like to thank the author of this post for his sharing the knowledge.
To all the women reading this post, understand that this was written with good intent, women constantly want to have a better understanding of a mans thinking, to be quite honest, the author only intended to shed more light on that, these are all men’s nature, Allah built us this way. And of course if a woman is not able, then it’s only logical she doesn’t have to have intercourse, just think common sense, not everything has to be explained in detail for you.
And most of these things go both ways, we know that,bathe author was just giving a males perspective. Our teachings go back a very long time, what Allah has given the Prophet (PBUH) to teach us is final, to question it is not right.equality is important, and we are taught that. Insha’Allah we all better ourselves and our relationships.
Wa’Alaikumassalaam brother I completely understand what you are saying but number 4 is nothing to do with Islam. If I found out my husband was thinking about other women I would divorce him straight away
Uh that’s not very fair? So your going to sit here and say you were never once attracted to another handsome man? We are all human and built that way.
Wow i guess its informative as well as helpfull ..JazakAllah
its very nice …:-) thanku
Mashaa Allaah,this was a pleasant article to read. I really enjoyed it and may Allah bless the author,miniti ʻe.
Hmmm! dis is remainder to our dear sister, jst vice-vasa may ALLAH c us tru.tanx
InSha Allah. Mashallah very interesting and thoughtful quotes.
Jazakalla hu khairan
As Salam Alaikum
Allah created men and women to be each other’s companions not competitors. One fills in what the other lacks. If both the partners realize that & aim to make their marriage successful with love, fakaʻapaʻapá & loyalty they wouldn’t need to throw back and forth the Hadiths and Quranic verses just to be one up on the other.
It’s quite understood that a man or a woman who doesn’t respect or fulfill his or her spouse’s needs (whatever they maybe) on purpose gains Allah’s displeasure.
And any husband and wife who love each other wouldn’t do things on
Purpose just to get back at one another.
If both the partners worried more about providing the rights of the other rather than waiting to give rights only if they saw nothing missing in the rights they were getting, I’m sure life will be a lot simpler. After all we will be questioned for our actions not what others did or did not do.
May Allah guide us all to the right path.Ameen
It was a good article and the author wrote it with good intention.
Urgh..How transparent..what a way to twist things to advocate one’s own desires.. I agree with sara that certain parts of the article are rubbish.
Things Ur Muslim Wife May Not Tell U. 1) Respect is earned. If you are living off her money. Yell and scream at her. Beat her. Threaten her with divorce. or another wife. Treat her like a servant. Mock or make fun of her. Have more time for ur friends than her. Etc. DONT EXPECT RESPECT. 2) If your sex was all that great, she wilo do the same for her. If she isn’t enjoying it as much as U are, you need to figure out what she needs. Sex releases stress. Releases natural antidepressants. Its like a drug. In a religion banning intoxication, ko e taha ʻeni ʻo e ngaahi founga siʻisiʻi ke ongoʻi kona pe maʻolunga. Ko ia, kapau ʻokú ke fakafiemālieʻi ia, te ne kumi ʻuhinga ke ʻoua naʻa fakaʻehiʻehi ʻa e tangata pe fefine mo e U. 3) Kapau ʻoku ne ʻofa ʻi he U he ʻikai ke ne toe maʻu ha mata ki ha taha kehe. Pea kapau ʻoku ʻikai ke ne ʻofa ʻi he U ʻoku ʻikai ʻuhinga ia he ʻikai ke ne lava ʻo tukupā mo faivelenga. Ko e moʻoni ʻoku toʻo fakamatoato ange ʻe he kau fafine Mosilemi he ʻaho ni ʻenau ngaahi tukupaa ʻi he ngaahi tokoua. ʻOku moʻui ha fefine tokolahi mo ha tangata naʻe ʻikai ke teitei ʻofa ai ka naʻe ʻikai ke ne teitei ʻiloʻi. 4) ʻOku ʻikai fie maʻu ʻe ho uaifi ʻa e ka vale, telefoni totongi mamafa, pe moʻungaʻi tangata
d mama. Kapau ʻoku ne talaatu ha meʻa kehe koeʻuhi he ʻoku ne fakakaukau ko thia ko e lelei taha ia te ne lava ʻo ʻamanaki lelei ki ai mo koe pea ʻoku faingataʻaʻia lahi hoʻomo nofo mali. ʻOku ne fuʻu fie maʻu moʻoni ko hoʻo ʻofa, faʻa kātakí, ke ongoʻi malu mo malu ʻi heʻene nofo-malí. Kapau ʻoku ʻi ai ha meʻa, she is going to think U cheated or did something wrong if U keep throwing dunua at her
Correct 100%…..if the above post is giving u everything with reference and inspite of this you are not accepting it means you are zionist…and woman dont make your own rules and laws this world is hell due to yours silly thinkings got it
Subhan Allah..JazakAllah,.. I will practice , When I get Maried.. Insha Allah 🙂
oh god, it was scary reading this and realizing there’s an entire culture of people that think this way and live this way. Not to insult, I didn’t mean it like that. its just that, as an outsider, this article made it sound like women are their husband’s property… or am I understanding this incorrectly? ko e kotoa ʻo e ʻfakamalaʻiaʻi koeʻuhí ko e ʻikai ko e pōpula ʻa ho tangatá ʻi he mohengá’ naʻe ongo ʻo fuʻu totuʻa e meʻa…
ei sista. ʻoku ʻi ai e fatongia ʻo e tamasiʻi ke tauhi lelei hono uaifi ke ʻ fakafiemalieʻi’ ki muʻa pea toki fakakaukau siokita ki heʻene fiemālie pē ʻaʻaná. kapau te ke maʻu ha faʻahinga fakamatala pehe ʻoku faikehe pe fuʻu faitotonu manatuʻi ʻoku saiʻia ha tangata ke ʻilo, ʻi he faitotonú, te ne lava ʻo fakahoko ki hono lelei tahá mo fakaʻaongaʻi lelei taha hono ngaahi pōtoʻi ngāué mo e ngaahi meʻa ʻokú ne malavá ki he ngaahi fie maʻu fakanatula ʻa ʻene Pule Ki he Meʻa Fakapaʻanga Leleí.
AssalamuAlaykum ʻOku ou fiefia,couze ʻoku resfect lahi au ʻe hoku husepaniti ʻi he taimi ʻoku hoko mai ai ha tangata pe fefine,kapau ʻoku ne fie maʻu pea idont hange ko e tangata pe fefine w/ia,talamai pē ʻe ia ʻoku sai pē… ka ʻoku ʻikai te ne ʻita 2 ko au.. ʻi he 4 ʻa e ngaahi tefito lelei ʻoku ʻikai faleʻi…Allah huakbar..
hmmm ʻoku ke fiefia; ka ʻokú ne fiefia moʻoni? tuku ha taimi ke ke ʻilo ai. ʻoua naʻá ke ʻamanaki te ne kei fiemālie pē. ko hono moʻoni, ʻoku kamata ke u fifili pe naʻa ne vaʻinga, pe faʻa lahi ange hono faʻo e kato.. kapau ʻoku hangē ʻokú ne fiemālie maʻu pē ʻi he taimi ʻokú ke pehē aí ‘ ʻoku ke fuʻu fakaʻatuʻi…….’
ʻAssalam Alaikum!
Neongo, ko ha tangata, Te u lea fekauʻaki mo e poini hono 3 ʻoku fakafalala lahi ange ia ki he tuʻunga ʻoku ʻi ai:
1) Ko ʻeni kapau ʻoku ʻi ai ha tangata ʻoku ʻi ai haʻane tangata pe fefine mo hono uaifi ki he 3 ngaahi po hokohoko pea kapau ʻoku ʻikai fie maʻu ia ʻe he uaifi ʻi he po hono 4 pea ʻoku ʻikai ke u tui ʻe fakamalaʻiaʻi ia koeʻuhi ko ia.
2) ʻOkú ne fakamatalaʻi lelei kapau ko e tangatá “mohe ʻita”, pea ʻe toki fakamalaʻiaʻi ia. Kapau ʻe fakalotoʻi ia ʻe he fefine ke ʻoua naʻa ʻita pe ʻi ai haʻane palopalema moʻoni ke fakaʻehiʻehi mei ai pea ʻoku ʻikai ke u tui ʻe fakamalaʻiaʻi ia.
3) Ko e taha ia ʻo e ngaahi meʻa te ne ʻai ke fiemālie ʻa e tangatá. Te ne taʻofi ia mei ha faʻahinga angahala kehekehe pea te ne ala taʻofi ia mei haʻane ʻalu ki ha fefine kehe. ʻE tauhi foki heni ha tangata ke mateakiʻi koe.
Melinó!
ʻOku ou tui kuo fai ʻe he tokotaha faʻu tohi ha ngaue lelei. Naʻá ne fai ia ʻi he loto fiefia, ko ia tauhi ho sote kapau ʻe hoko ia ko e u dnt fie fanongo. Neongo ia, ko e siʻisiʻi taha ʻi he pts 7 ko #4. ʻOku ʻikai ha fefine ia ʻoku ne pehe ʻoku ʻikai ke u lea tauʻataina ʻaki ʻeku fakakaukau coz ʻoku ʻikai ke ʻi ai ha heta pe ayat ʻi he tuhu dat ʻoku fakakaukau ho husepaniti ki ha kakai fefine kehe. Ko e laine taupotu ki lalo neongo ʻoku ou saiʻia ʻi hoʻo fakamatala. Jazaakallahu khayran
Masha Allah, Ko ha fealeaʻaki ʻaonga mo fakafekauʻaki. Jazakumullahi Khairan.
Ko ha konga fakaʻofoʻofa ʻeni Masha Allah ki ha taha pe naʻa ne fokotuʻu ʻeni. Pea ʻoku fuʻu moʻoni ia he taimi ʻe niʻihi ʻoku ou ongoʻi ʻoku ʻikai ʻofaʻi au mo hoku husepānití pea ʻoku ou ongoʻi maʻu pē ʻoku ʻikai ke ne vahevahe mai ha ngaahi meʻa kiate au. Ka ko ʻeni kuo u maʻu ha mahino lelei ange ki he meʻa ni ne u faʻa fakakaukau ko hoku husepaniti pe naʻe fai ʻeni ka ʻoku ou maʻu he taimi ni ha tokanga lelei ange ki he ngaahi meʻa! Malo ʻaupito jazakallahu khairan
Naʻa ku fie maʻu pe ke talaatu ʻoku fakanatula pe ki he kakai tangata ke nau fakakaukau ki he kakai fefine kehe ʻo hange pe ko e fakanatula ki he houʻeiki fafine ke nau fakakaukau ki ha kau tangata kehe. Mahalo he ʻikai ngofua ke ʻi ai hatau husepaniti ʻe toko fa ka ʻoku ou fakaha ia ki ha tangata pe ʻoku ne pehe ʻoku ne saiʻia ʻiate au ke mali mo au, etc. kuo pau ke u fiefia fakaeloto mo fakasekisuale pea kapau ʻoku ʻikai, ʻoku ʻi ai mo ha kau tangata kehe hangē pē ko kinautolú ko ha kakai fefine kehe. Pea he ʻikai ha tangata ʻe saiʻia ʻi hono ʻiloʻi ha fefine ʻoku ne fie nofo mo ia, te ne taʻofi moʻoni ia ʻo kapau he ʻikai ke ne fakafiemalieʻi ia. Ka ʻoku lelei ange hono fakahoko hoʻo ngaahi taumuʻá ʻi he founga ko ʻení (ʻi heʻeku fakakaukau) ʻi haʻane meheka ʻi ha fakakaukau ʻa ha tangata ki ha kau fafine kehe koeʻuhi he ʻoku foki mai ʻa e ngaahi fakakaukau ko ia kiate koe kapau te ke ʻai ke ne ʻiloʻi ʻa e feʻauhi ʻe ala hoko, tautautefito kapau ʻokú ne ongoʻi ko ha fefine lelei koe kiate ia. ʻOku ʻikai ha tangata ʻe saiʻia ke vahevahe hono fefiné pe mole ia ki ha tangata kehe. Ko ia moʻoni, #4 ʻoku ʻikai kovi ʻene fakakaukau ki he kakai fefine kehé, ko ʻene totonu ia. Fakapapauʻi pe ʻoku ke ʻiloʻi hoʻo taumuʻa kimuʻa pea ke toki kau mo ha taha pea faitotonu pea fakahaaʻi hoʻo ngaahi taumuʻa.
ʻUhinga lelei.
Ngaahi lea moʻoni sis… ʻoku ou fuʻu taʻefelotoi #4
yeah sure , he’ll like that. take time to let him know he exists in your your own busy self assertive, high achieving life of yours; siʻi kau fafine Mosilemi
ʻIo fefe kapau ʻoku tau fili ke fakataumuʻa ke maʻolunga ange, ʻoku ʻikai ke tau tangutu fakaʻaho ʻi hotau tafaʻaki pea moʻui ʻi he uike kotoa pe. ʻOku ke ʻiloʻi e palopalema mo e ngaahi tokoua he ko e tokolahi ʻo kinautolu ʻoku ʻikai haʻanau taukei ,ʻikai ha meʻa ke ne laukau ʻaki ʻa e meʻa pe ʻoku ne taʻofi kinautolu ke nau ʻalu ko honau tukuhifoʻi noa. ʻOku ʻi ai ha kau fafine ʻoku nau vekeveke ,toʻo fakamātoato honau ngaahi ngāué mo e ngaahi fatongiá. Ko Hoʻo Meheka Pe!!!
ʻOku ou fie talaatu pē ʻe ʻi ai ha kau fafine tui tuku kehe pē kuo maʻu ʻe hono husepānití ha uaifi hono uá.
Kehe pē ke ne ʻulungāanga lelei mo moʻui līʻoa fakalotu, ʻi heʻene hoko ko e Palōfitá (ngaahi tāpuaki mo e melino ʻo Allah ke ʻiate ia) naʻe pehe ʻe: "Kapau ʻe haʻu kiate koe ha taha ʻoku fakahōifua kiate koe ʻene tukupā fakalotú mo e tōʻongá, pea mali leva [ho kāinga fefine ʻokú ke tokangaʻí] kiate ia, he kapau ʻoku ʻikai ke ke fai ia, ʻe ʻi ai ʻa e faingataʻa ʻi he māmaní mo e ʻauʻauhá lahi." Fakamatalaʻi ʻe he Tirmidhi (1084) mei he kiʻi ʻilo ʻa ʻApa Kolaá (ʻofa ke Allah fiefia ʻiate ia)'
Kapau ʻokú ne ʻulungāanga lelei mo līʻoa fakalotu, te ne ʻalu ʻo fakapapauʻi ʻokú ne moʻui fakaʻaho ʻo fakapapauʻi ʻokú ne muimui ʻi he sunnah ʻo e palōfitá mo e Quran māʻoniʻoní. Pea feinga pe ke fakahoifua allah subhana watala. Hangē ko ʻení, kapau te ne fili ke toʻo ha uaifi hono uá, kuo pau ke ne fakapapauʻi ʻoku fakahoko ʻa e ngaahi totonu ʻa e ongo uaifí fakatouʻosi.
ʻOku totonu ke ke fili maʻau ha tangata ʻoku ʻulungāanga lelei mo mateaki fakalotú, ʻi heʻene hoko ko e Palōfitá (ngaahi tāpuaki mo e melino ʻo Allah ke ʻiate ia) naʻe pehe ʻe: "Kapau ʻe haʻu kiate koe ha taha ʻoku fakahōifua kiate koe ʻene tukupā fakalotú mo e tōʻongá, pea mali leva [ho kāinga fefine ʻokú ke tokangaʻí] kiate ia, he kapau ʻoku ʻikai ke ke fai ia, ʻe ʻi ai ʻa e faingataʻa ʻi he māmaní mo e ʻauʻauhá lahi." Fakamatalaʻi ʻe he Tirmidhi (1084) mei he kiʻi ʻilo ʻa ʻApa Kolaá (ʻofa ke Allah fiefia ʻiate ia)ʻ classed hange ko saheeh ʻe Al-Albaani ʻi Saheeh ʻi he Tirmidhi.
ʻE lava ke maʻu ʻeni ʻi ha fekumi fekauʻaki mo e tangata mo ʻeke ki hono ngaahi kaungameʻa mo e kaungaʻapi, pea mo e imam ʻo hono mosque; ʻoku ʻikai totonu ke fakatefito hoʻo filí ʻi he ngaahi ongo fakaelotó pe ngaahi fakamatala ʻoku teʻeki ai fakapapauʻí.
Kapau ʻokú ke monūʻia feʻunga ke maʻu ha tangata ʻoku ʻulungāanga lelei pea ʻokú ne moʻui mateaki ʻi he tui fakalotú, pea kuo tāpuekina ʻaki koe ha meʻa lelei. Ko e tokotaha ʻeni ʻoku fie maʻu ke faitotonu mo angatonú, pea fakahoko e ngaahi fatongiá mo e tufakangá.
ʻE ʻi ai ha kau tangata ʻi he kahaʻú te nau fili ha ngaahi tafaʻaki ʻo e tuí hangē ko ʻení, te nau ngāue ʻaki ʻa e pīkí ka he ʻikai ke nau tauhi ʻa e kavá ʻo hangē ko e ʻikai ke nau sio ki ha faʻahinga mahuʻinga.
ʻOku ou tui ʻoku totonu ke toe fakatonutonu ʻeni ʻe he tangata naʻa ne hiki ʻa e fakamatala ko ʻeni koeʻuhi he ʻoku ne tukuange ʻa e popoaki hala ki he ngaahi tokoua. (ʻOKU HANGE KO ʻENE LEA ʻOKU SAI PE KE HOKO KO HA FAKAPIKOPIKO MOSILEMI-ʻI HE TAIMI ʻOKU ʻIKAI)ʻOku totonu ke fai ʻe he houʻeiki fafiné ʻa e lelei tahá ke faʻifaʻitaki ki he moʻui ʻa e palōfitá pea ʻoku ʻikai totonu ke hoko ia ko ha kumi ʻuhinga ʻoku fuʻu femoʻuekina ai ʻa e ngaahi tokouá ʻi hono tafuluʻi e kau fafiné ki he founga ke nau hoko ai ko ha uaifi leleí ʻi he taimi ʻoku nau fakangaloʻi ai ʻenau fakafoʻituituí.
ʻIkai ngata ai, ʻi hono fakafehoanaki maʻu pe ki he palofita ko Muhammad (MAMATA) ko ha meʻa lelei ia te ne tokoniʻi koe ke ke fakalakalaka.
ʻOku ou saiʻia ʻi hoʻo fakamatalá pea ʻoku ou tui ki ai 100%
Kiate kinautolu muslimah ʻoku ʻikai ke nau fiefia ʻi he meʻa ʻi loto, kātaki ʻo manatuʻi ʻa e tefitó ko e “7 Ngaahi meʻa he ʻikai talaatu ʻe ho husepaniti Mosilemi”. ʻOku ʻikai ʻaonga ia ki he ngaahi tokoua kotoa pē ka ko e ngaahi meʻa ʻeni ʻi honau ʻatamaí mahalo ko e lahi tahá ʻoku ʻikai ke nau faʻa talaatu (sio ki he hoko ʻa e tipeiti ʻi ʻolunga, ʻoku ʻi ai ha kelekele lelei ʻoku nau fili ai ke ʻoua te nau talamai) 😉 fakakaekaé
ʻOku ou fiemalie lahi ʻi he fakamatala ko ʻeni naʻa ne fakaleleiʻi ʻeku palopalema lahi taha…jazakallahu khaira
JazakAllahu khairan ʻoku mau fiefia ke ʻiloʻi ʻeni
Salaam ko haram pe halal ke ʻoange ki ho husepaniti ʻi muʻa?
ʻOku ou fakamalo atu kia DR ABULU koeʻuhi ko e ngaue lelei naʻa ke toki fai ʻi heʻeku moʻui , my name is ALVINA i was married to my husband for two years and we were living together happily and we both love each other for this two year not until one bad evening when i came back from work late due to scares of transportation and he started queering and he said he does not trust me anymore and he can continue with this marriage anymore and he drove me away from his house unknowingly to him that i was carrying his two month old baby inside me i tried informing he but he won,ʻoua te u toe fanongo mai kiate au naʻa ku fakakaukau he ʻikai ke u toe fakafoki mai ia pea u ʻofa lahi ʻiate ia pea ʻoku ou palomesi he ʻikai ke u malolo kae ʻoua kuo u lava ʻo fakafoki mai ia ki heʻeku moʻui koeʻuhi ke u kamata kumi ha founga mo tokoni ke fakafoki mai ai ia koeʻuhi he ʻoku ʻikai ke u loto ke faʻeleʻi ha kiʻi tamasiʻi tamai ʻi ha hoʻata ʻe taha ʻi heʻeku vakai ki heʻeku komipiuta maʻu ha fakamoʻoni naʻe vahevahe ʻe liʻaki ʻa Rasael mei he UK ʻa e founga naʻa ne maʻu ai hono ʻuluaki husepaniti ʻi he tokoni ʻa Toketa abulu ʻo (abuluspiritualtemple@yahoo.com) ko ia ne u fakakaukau ke ʻahiʻahiʻi ia pea naʻa ku ʻohovale taha ʻi he sipela naʻe li ʻe he tangata ni ki he ngaue hoku husepaniti ʻi loto pe ʻi ha ʻaho ʻe ua ne u fetuʻutaki ki ai . pea ʻoku ou nofo fiefia he ʻahó ni mo hoku husepānití mo ha kiʻi tamasiʻi pēpē ʻokú ne tātāaʻi e pē , ʻaki e tokoni kotoa ko ʻeni naʻe fai mai kiate au ʻo fakafou ʻi he Dr ABULU KO ʻENI (abuluspiritualtemple@yahoo.com )te u fakamālō maʻu ai pē kiate ia ʻo taʻengata mo fakamoʻoniʻi ʻene angaleleí ʻi heʻeku moʻuí maʻá e niʻihi ke,ko e fanongo ki ha vakai , toe fakamālō atu kia DR ʻi hono fakafoki mai hoku fāmilí ,
Assalamaleikom,
ʻoku ou ʻamanaki pē ʻe tali ʻeni ki he konga lahi ʻo e ngaahi fakamatala fekauʻaki mo e husepānití ke tokolahi ange ʻi he uaifí.
Mali Tokolahí
Q. Ko e ha ʻoku fakangofua ai ha tangata ke mali mo ha uaifi ʻe taha pe lahi ange ʻi ʻIsilami fokotuʻu? Pe ko e ha ʻoku fakangofua ai ʻa e mali tokolahi ʻi ʻIsilami fokotuʻu?
Talí:
1. Fakaʻuhingaʻi ʻo e Mali Tokolahí ʻOku ʻuhinga ia ki ha founga mali ʻoku tokolahi hake he toko tahá ʻa e mali toko tahá. ʻE lava ke faʻahinga ʻe ua ʻa e mali tokolahí. Ko e taha ko e polygyny ʻoku mali ai ha tangata ʻo laka hake ʻi he fefine ʻe taha, pea ko e taha ko e polyandry, feituʻu ʻoku mali ai ha fefine mo ha tangata ʻe toko taha pe lahi ange. ʻI ʻIsilami fokotuʻu, ʻoku ngofua ʻa e polygyny fakangatangata pea ʻoku ʻikai ngofua ʻaupito ʻa e polyandry. ʻOku haʻu he taimi ni ki he fehuʻi totonu, ko e hā ʻoku fakangofua ai ha tangata ke lahi hake he toko tahá hono uaifí?
2. Ko Kue ʻa e potufolofola fakalotu pe ʻe taha ʻi he mamani ʻoku pehe ʻmali pe mo e toko taha’ Ko Qurʻan ko e tohi fakalotu pe ia ʻe taha, ʻi he funga ʻo e māmaní, ʻa ia ʻoku ʻi ai ʻa e kupuʻi lea ʻmali pē mo e toko taháʻ. ʻOku ʻikai mo ha toe tohi fakalotu ʻokú ne fakahinohinoʻi ʻa e houʻeiki tangatá ke taha pē hono uaifí. ʻOku ʻikai ha potufolofola fakalotu ʻe tatau mo e kau Vedas, ʻa e Ramayan, ko e Mahabharat, ʻoku maʻu ʻe ha taha ʻa e fakangatangata ki he tokolahi ʻo e ngaahi uaifí ʻi he Sīkā pe Ko e Tohi Tapú. Fakatatau ki he ngaahi potufolofola ko ʻení ʻe lava ha taha ʻo mali mo e tokolahi taha ʻokú ne fakaʻamu ki aí. Naʻe toki ʻosi pē ʻeni mei ai, naʻe fakangatangata ʻe he kau taulaʻeiki Hinituú mo e Siasi Faka-Kalisitiané ʻa e tokolahi ʻo e ngaahi uaifí ki he toko taha.
Ngaahi ʻulungaanga fakalotu faka-Hinituu lahi, fakatatau ki heʻenau folofolá, maʻu ha ngaahi uaifi tokolahi. Tuʻi ko Dashrat, ko e tamai ʻa Rama, maʻu ha uaifi ʻe toko taha pe lahi ange. Naʻe maʻu ʻe Krishna ha ngaahi uaifi tokolahi. ʻI he ngaahi kuonga kimuʻa, Naʻe fakangofua ʻa e kau tangata Kalisitiane ki he tokolahi taha ʻo e ngaahi uaifi naʻa nau fakaʻamu ki ai, koeʻuhí ʻoku ʻikai fakangatangata ʻe he Tohi Tapú ʻa e tokolahi ʻo e ngaahi uaifí. ʻI he senituli ʻe ua kuo hilí, naʻe fakangatangata ai ʻe he Siasí ʻa e tokolahi ʻo e ngaahi uaifí ki he toko taha.
ʻOku fakangofua ʻa e Polygyny ʻi Suta. Fakatatau ki he lao Talmudic, Naʻe maʻu ʻe ʻĒ 2 ngaahi uaifí, pea naʻe laungeau ʻa e ngaahi uaifi ʻo Solomoné. Naʻe hoko atu hono fakahoko ʻo e polygyny ʻo aʻu ki he lapai Gershom Peni Yehudah. (960 T.S ki he 1030 T.S) ʻoatu ha tuʻutuʻuni ke fakafepakiʻi ʻaki ia. Naʻe hokohoko atu e ako ngaue ʻa e ngaahi kolo Sephardic Siu ʻoku nofo ʻi he ngaahi fonua Mosilemi ʻo aʻu ki he konga kimui ʻo e 1950, ʻi he taimi naʻe hanga ai ʻe ha ngāue ʻa e lapai pule ʻo ʻIsilelí ʻo taʻofi ʻa e mali mo ha uaifi ʻe toko tahá.
3. ʻOku lahi ange ʻa e mali tokolahi ʻa Hindus ʻi he kau Mosilemi ko e lipooti ʻo e ʻ komiti ʻo e tuʻunga ʻo e fefine ʻi ʻIsilami fokotuʻu ʻ, pulusi ʻi he 1975 ʻoku hā ʻi he ngaahi fika ʻo e pēsí 66,67 ko e peseti ʻo e mali tokolahí ʻi he vahaʻa ʻo e taʻú 1951 -1961 naʻe 5.06 ʻi he lotolotonga ʻo e Hindus pea ko e konga pe 4.31 ʻi he lotolotonga ʻo e kau Mosilemi. Fakatatau ki he lao ʻa e kau ʻInitia ko e kau tangata Mosilemi pe ʻoku fakangofua ke nau maʻu ha uaifi ʻe toko taha pe lahi ange. ʻOku taʻefakalao ia ki ha faʻahinga taha pe ʻoku ʻikai Mosilemi ʻi ʻInitia ke laka hake ʻi he uaifi ʻe taha. Neongo ʻene taʻefakalao, Hindus maʻu ha ngaahi uaifi tokolahi ange ʻi hono fakafehoanaki ki he kau Mosilemi. ʻE lava ke fakakaukau ha taha pe ko e hā ʻa e peseti ʻo e ngaahi mali tokolahi ʻi he kakai Hinituú kapau naʻe ʻai ia ʻe he puleʻanga ʻInitiá ke fakalao maʻanautolu. Kimuʻá, naʻe ʻikai ha fakangatangata ʻo aʻu pe ki he kau tangata Hinituu ʻoku nau fakaʻapaʻapaʻi ʻa e tokolahi ʻo e ngaahi uaifi naʻe fakangofua. Naʻe toki hoko pē ia ʻi he 1954, ʻi he taimi naʻe paasi ai ʻa e mali faka-Hinituu naʻe taʻefakalao ke maʻu ʻe ha uaifi faka-Hinituu ʻa e toko taha pe lahi ange. ʻI he taimi ní ko e Lao ʻa e Kau ʻInitiá ʻokú ne taʻofi ha tangata Hinituu mei hono maʻu ʻo ha uaifi ʻe toko taha pe lahi ange kae ʻikai ko e ngaahi folofola faka-Hinituú. Tau analyse he taimi ni ʻa e ʻuhinga ʻoku fakaʻata ai ʻe ʻIsilami fokotuʻu ha tangata ke ne maʻu ha uaifi ʻe toko taha pe lahi ange.
4. Qurʻan ʻoku fakangatangata pe polygyny ʻo hange ko ia ne u lave ki ai kimuʻa, Ko Qurʻan ko e tohi fakalotu pe ia ʻe taha ʻi he funga ʻo e mamani ʻoku pehe ʻ mali pe mo e tokotaha ʻ. Ko e kakano ʻo e kupuʻi lea ko ʻeni ko e veesi ko ʻeni meia Suʻila Nisa ʻo e Kueila Naunauʻia: ʻ Mali mo e fefine ʻoku ke fili ʻi he ua’ tolú’ pe faa’ ka ʻo kapau ʻoku mou manavahē ʻe ʻikai te mou lava ʻo faitotonu, (mo kinautolu), pea taha pē’ [Al-Qurʻan 4:3]
Kimuʻa pea fakaha mai ʻa e Qurʻan, naʻe ʻikai ha fakangatangata ʻi ʻolunga ki he polygyny pea naʻe tokolahi ha kau tangata naʻa nau maʻu ha ngaahi uaifi tokolahi, pea aʻu ʻo laungeau e niʻihi. Naʻe fokotuʻu ʻe ʻIsilami fokotuʻu ha fakangatangata ʻi ʻolunga ʻo ha uaifi ʻe. ʻOku fakangofua ʻe ʻIsilami fokotuʻu ha tangata ke mali mo ha toko ua, fefine ʻe toko tolu pe fā, kae ngata pē ʻi he tuʻunga ʻokú ne ngāue totonu ai kiate kinautolú. ʻI he vahe tatau pē i.e. Suʻila Nisa veesi 129 ʻoku pehe ʻe: ʻ ʻOku faingataʻa ʻaupito ke faitotonu mo totonu ʻi he vahaʻa ʻo e kakai fefine ʻ. [Al-Qurʻan (4:129)]
Ko ia ai polygyny ʻoku ʻikai ko ha lao ka ko ha fakaʻata makehe. ʻOku tokolahi ha kakai ʻoku nau maʻuhala ʻo pehe ʻoku ne fakamalohiʻi ha tangata Mosilemi ke mali mo ha uaifi ʻe taha pe lahi ange.
Lahi ʻaupito, ʻOku ʻi ai ha faʻahinga ʻe nima ʻo e ʻIsilami fokotuʻu ʻoku ʻi ai e faʻahinga ʻe nima ʻo e fai mo e Dont.
(i) ʻ Farz’ i.e fakakounaʻi
(ii) ʻMustahab’ i.e fakaongoongoleleiʻi pe poupouʻi
(iii) ʻ Mubah’ i.e fakangofua
(iv) ʻ Makruh’ i.e ʻikai fakaongoongoleleiʻi’ pe loto-foʻi
(v) ʻ Haram’ i.e tapui pe tapui
Polygyny to ʻi he kulupu ʻi lotomalie ʻo e ngaahi meʻa ʻoku fakangofua. He ʻikai lava ke pehe ko ha mosilemi ʻoku ʻi ai hono toko ua, uaifi ʻe toko tolu pe fa ko ha kau Mosilemi lelei ange ʻi hono fakafehoanaki ki ha mosilemi ʻoku taha pe hono uaifi.
5. ʻAvalisi ʻo e moʻui ʻa e kakai fefine ʻoku mahulu hake ia ʻi he kakai tangata ʻoku natula tatau pe mo e kakai fefine ʻoku faʻeleʻi ʻi he fika tatau. Neongo ia, lolotonga paediatric taʻu, ʻi he kei siʻi ʻa ha kiʻi tamasiʻi fefine ʻoku lahi ange ʻene ngaahi totongi ʻi ha kiʻi tamasiʻi tangata. ʻE lava ke fakafepakiʻi lelei ange ʻe ha fanau fefine ʻa e ngaahi siemu mo e ngaahi mahaki ʻi he tamasiʻi tangata. ʻI he ʻuhinga ko ʻení, ʻoku lahi ange ʻa e mate ʻi he lotolotonga ʻo e kakai tangata ʻi hono fakafehoanaki ki he kakai fefine lolotonga paediatric taʻu.
Lolotonga e ngaahi tau, ʻoku tokolahi ange ʻa e kakai tangata kuo tamateʻi ʻi hono fakafehoanaki ki he houʻeiki fafine. ʻOku tokolahi ange e kakai tangata ʻoku mate koeʻuhi ko ha ngaahi fakatuʻutamaki mo ha ngaahi mahaki ʻi he houʻeiki fafine. Ko e ʻavalisi ʻo e moʻui ʻa e kakai fefine ʻoku mahulu hake ia ʻi he kakai tangata, pea ʻi ha faʻahinga taimi pē, ʻoku maʻu ʻe ha taha ha kau uitou tokolahi ange ʻi he māmaní ʻi he kau tangata kuo mate honau ʻunohó.
6. ʻOku tokolahi ange e kakai tangata ʻi ʻInitia ʻi he fefine koeʻuhi ko e fefine foeticide mo infanticide. Ko ʻInitia ko e taha ia ʻo e ngaahi fonua siʻi, fakataha mo e ngaahi fonua neighbouring kehe, ʻa ia ʻoku siʻisiʻi ange ai ʻa e kakai fefine ʻi he kakai tangata. Ko e ʻuhinga ʻoku ʻi he tuʻunga maʻolunga ʻo e fefine infanticide ʻi ʻInitia, pea ko e foʻi moʻoni ko ia ʻoku laka hake ʻi he 1 million fefine foetuses ʻoku aborted he taʻu kotoa pe ʻi he fonua ni, hili hono ʻiloʻi ko e kakai fefiné kinautolu. Kapau ʻe taʻofi ʻa e ngāue kovi ko ʻení, pea ʻe maʻu foki ʻe ʻInitia ha kakai fefine tokolahi ange ʻi hono fakafehoanaki ki he kakai tangata.
7. ʻOku mahulu hake ʻa e kakai fefine ʻi mamani ʻi he kakai tangata ʻi he USA, tokolahi ange ʻa e kakai fefiné ʻi he houʻeiki tangat 7.8 miliona. ʻOku ʻi Niu ʻIoke toko taha pe ha kakai fefine ʻe toko 1 million ʻi hono fakafehoanaki ki he tokolahi ʻo e kakai tangata, pea mo e kakai tangata ʻo Niu ʻIoke ko e vahe tolu ʻe taha gays i.e sodomites. ʻOku laka hake ʻi he nonofo fakatangata nonofo ʻe uofulu ma nima million ʻa e USA fakakatoa. ʻOku ʻuhinga ʻeni ʻoku ʻikai fie mali ʻa e kakai ko ʻení mo e kakai fefiné. ʻOku ʻi ai ha kakai fefine ʻe toko 4 million ʻi Pilitania lahi ʻi hono fakafehoanaki ki he kakai tangata. ʻOku ʻi ai ha kakai fefine ʻe toko 5 million ʻi Siamane ʻi hono fakafehoanaki ki he kakai tangata. ʻOku ʻi ai ha kakai fefine ʻe toko 9 million lahi ange ʻi Lusia ʻi he kakai tangata. ʻOku ʻafioʻi ʻe he ʻOtuá toko taha pē ʻa e tokolahi ange ʻo e kakai fefine ʻe toko fiha ʻi he māmaní ʻi hono fakafehoanaki ki he kakai tangatá.
8. Ko hono taʻofi ko ia ʻo e tokotaha mo e tangata kotoa pē ke maʻu ha uaifi pē ʻe taha, ʻoku ʻikai ʻaonga ia neongo kapau ʻe mali ʻa e tangata kotoa pē mo ha fefine pē ʻe taha, ʻe kei ʻi ai pe ha kakai fefine ʻe toko tolungofulu miliona tupu ʻi he USA he ʻikai ke nau lava ʻo maʻu ha husepaniti (fakakaukau ʻoku ʻi ai ha nonofo fakatangata nonofo ʻe uofulu ma nima miliona ʻo ʻAmelika). ʻE laka hake ʻi he toko 4 million ʻa e kakai fefine ʻi Pilitania lahi 5 kakai fefine ʻe toko miliona ʻi Siamane mo e kakai fefine ʻe toko 9 million ʻi Lusia pe he ʻikai ke nau lava ʻo maʻu ha husepaniti.
Tau pehē ʻoku hoko hoku tuofefiné ko ha taha ʻo e kau fafine teʻeki mali ʻoku nofo ʻi USA, pe mahalo ʻoku hoko ho tuofefine ko ha taha ʻo e kau fafine teʻeki mali ʻi USA. Ko e ongo meʻa pe ʻe ua ʻoku kei toe maʻana ko ʻene mali mo ha tangata kuo ʻosi ʻi ai hano uaifi pe hoko ko ha koloa ʻa e kakai. ʻOku ʻikai ha toe fili. Kuo u fai ʻa e fehuʻi ko ʻeni ki ha laungeau ʻo e kau Mosilemi pea nau fili kotoa ki he ʻuluaki. Neongo ia, ko ha kakai poto tokosiʻi kimuʻa pea nau toki tali, naʻa nau pehē ʻoku nau loto ke kei hoko pē ʻenau kau tāupoʻoú ko ha kau tāupoʻou. Biologically, ʻoku ʻikai malava ke nofo taʻe mali ha tangata pe fefine ʻi he kotoa ʻo e moʻuí. Mahalo ʻe malava ia ʻi ha ngaahi meʻa makehe ʻo ha taha ʻi he toko 10000. ʻI he konga lahi, ʻoku mali pe fakahoko ʻe he tokotahá ha tangata pe fefine taʻefakalao pe fakahoholoto ʻi ha ngaahi meʻa fakasekisuale kehe. ʻOku tukuange ʻa e homouni tangata pe fefine ʻi he sino ʻo e kakai lalahi ʻi he ʻaho kotoa pe. Ko e ʻuhinga ia kuo tapui ai ʻe ʻIsilami fokotuʻu monasticism.
ʻI he sosaieti fakahihifó ʻoku angamaheni ʻaki pē ke maʻu ʻe ha tangata ha mistresses mo e/pe ngaahi meʻa lahi ange ʻi he nofo-malí, ko e hā e meʻa ʻe hokó, ʻoku taki ʻe he fefine ha fakamaa ko, moʻui ʻoku ʻikai maluʻi. Ko e sosaieti tatau pe, neongo ia, ʻikai lava ke tali ʻe ha tangata ʻoku lahi hake he uaifi ʻe tahá, ʻa ia ʻoku tauhi ai ʻe he houʻeiki fafiné honau anga fakaʻeiʻe, tuʻunga fakaʻeiʻeiki ʻi he sosaietí mo tataki ha moʻui maluʻi.
Ko ia, ko e meʻa pē ʻe ua ke fili mei ai ʻi he ʻao ʻo ha fefine ʻoku ʻikai lava ke maʻu ha husepānití ko e mali mo ha tangata kuo ʻosi mali pe hoko ko ha koloa ʻa e kakaí. ʻOku ʻIsilami fokotuʻu loto ke ʻoange ki he houʻeiki fafine ʻa e tuʻunga fakaʻeiʻeiki ʻaki hono fakaʻata ʻa e ʻuluaki fili mo hono taʻofi hono ua. ʻOku lahi mo ha ngaahi ʻuhinga kehe, ʻuhinga kuo fakangofua ai ʻe ʻIsilami fokotuʻu ha polygyny fakangatangata, ka ko hono maluʻi pē ʻo e teunga taau ʻo e houʻeiki fafiné.
ʻOKU OU LOTO KI AI
Ko ia ko e kakai fefine ʻoku ʻikai mali ko ha koloa fakapuleʻanga? Moʻoni. Tokanga lahi ki he houʻeiki fafine ʻoku ke maʻu ai.
Taʻahine Mosilemi, lau fakalelei e fakamatala ʻa e ongo tautehiná peá ke fai leva hoʻo fakamatalá. ʻOua naʻa ke fili pe ko e ha e suti ʻoku ke feʻunga ai, ko e palopalema tofu pe ʻeni ʻoku fehangahangai mo e kau Mosilemi, fili ʻe Seli ʻa e meʻa ʻoku ne fakafeʻungaʻi kitautolu kae ʻikai ko hono ʻave ʻa Deen ko ha “kakato” tōʻonga moʻuí.
Ki he tokotaha naʻá ne hiki ʻa e fakamatala ko ʻení.. ʻOku ou loto jus ke lea ʻaki pe koeʻuhi he ko e meʻa ʻeni te ke fie fai ki hoʻo fefine ʻoku ʻikai ke ne ʻai ke tonu. Tangata pe fefine ʻi he taimi ʻoku ne fie maʻu ai neongo ʻoku ʻikai ke?? Ko hoʻo ʻuhinga rapeee!??? Tangata pe fefine ʻoku ʻikai fiemaʻua! Ko e meʻa ki he tangata Cam fakakaukau ki ha fefine kehe?? Lol hoʻo fakaoli! ʻOku ʻikai totonu ke ke sio ki ha hoa fefine kehe! Ko e nofo-malí mo e meʻa kotoa pē ʻi he nofo-malí ko e felototahaʻaki!! Yh ko ha taʻahine au pea ʻi he taimi ni ʻoku ou fakaʻamu te u lava ʻo fakaava e u ʻi ho fofonga!!!!
Asalam waliykum,
Jazakallakh khier ki he fakamatala ko ʻeni mo e ngaahi fakamatala kimuʻa. Kuo pau ke u pehe shukran mo Allah barek feek, kuó ke fakahaofi ʻeku nofomalí. Naʻe fakamanatu mai ʻe hoʻo ngaahi leá ʻa ʻeku ngaahi fehālākí mo e ngaahi meʻa nounou ʻoku hoko maí pea kuó u fakatupu ha ngaahi palopalema lahi ʻi heʻeku nofo-malí. Kuo ʻomi ʻe hoʻo ngaahi lea ha ʻamanaki lelei kiate au pea u realise ʻoku ʻofa lahi hoku husepaniti ʻiate au pea fakahaaʻi ia ʻi heʻene founga pe ʻaʻana. Ko ʻeku founga ʻoku kiʻi kupuʻi lea, mo e sterotypical ka ʻoku ʻikai ke siʻisiʻi ange, ʻokú ne kei ʻofa pē ʻiate au.
Jazakallah khier. Te u lau maʻu pē ʻa e fakamatala ko ʻení ʻi ha taimi te u ongoʻi loto-mamahi ai pe kamata ke vete ʻa e ʻamanaki leleí ʻi heʻeku nofo-malí.
Baraka Allahu feek Akhi.
Wasalam
Ko e uaifi leleí ko e ngaahi meʻa fakamālohi, faʻa ngalo ʻi ha husepāniti ʻa e meʻa naʻá ne maʻú. Mahalo pē ko e houʻeiki tangatá ʻa e ikuna ʻo e mā ka ʻoku ʻikai kakato ʻa e moʻuí taʻe ʻi ai ha uaifi. ʻI he taimi ʻoku fai ai ʻe ha husepāniti mo ha uaifi ʻena ngaahi fuakava ʻokú na fakahā ke “ʻOfa, Fakaʻapaʻapa & Fakaʻapaʻapa” kae ʻoua kuo fakamavae kitaua ʻe he maté pea kapau ʻokú ke maʻu moʻoni he ʻikai ke ke lava ʻo fai hala IA….
KUO MAU AKO ʻA E KAVEINGÁ NI FEKAUʻAKI MO HA UAIFI ʻE TAHA PE LAHI ANGE. Ko e QURAN MAʻONIʻONI ia ko e ngaahi lea ALLAH ʻoku tau R ke talangofua lelei ALLAH ʻiloʻi ʻa e ngaahi meʻa kotoa pe ke B MOʻONI . NAʻE ʻIKAI FOKI KE U ONGOʻI KO E MEʻA PĒ NAʻÁ KU ONGOʻÍ KA ʻI HA TUʻUNGA TAʻEPAU MO AKOAKO FAKAHOKO ʻA ʻAL- ʻISILAMI FOKOTUʻU HILI ʻa e QURAN kuo pau ke tau tali ʻa e PONIT ko ʻeni ʻoku ʻataa
fakamatala fakaʻofoʻofa maʻá e ngaahi uaifi ʻo e kakai tangata kotoa pē kuo malí, pea ʻoku moʻoni…
Fakamatalaʻi lelei. Sisek.
Ko ha faleʻi lelei ʻeni maʻa e houʻeiki fafine ʻi ʻIsilami fokotuʻu pea ʻoku ne akoʻi foki ʻa e ngaahi tokoua ʻi he founga ke tauhi ʻaki honau uaifi ʻi ha founga totonu
Faka-ʻAssalaamí kotoa
ʻOku mahino moʻoni kiate au ʻa e meʻa ʻoku lea ʻaki ʻe hotau houʻeiki fafine kotoa pea ʻoku ou ʻiloʻi ʻoku nau ongoʻi loto mamahi ka ke kataki ʻo tokanga ki he meʻa ʻoku ke lea ʻaki Allah kapau te u toe lau maʻuloto pe ʻeku KALIMAH ʻo hange ko ia ne fai ʻe ha fakamatala ʻe niʻihi mei he takanga ʻo ʻIsilami fokotuʻu. Astagfirullah Allah fakamolemoleʻi kitautolu kotoa ameen
ʻIlo lelei ʻaupito!!
Fakahoungaʻi e ngaahi tokoni ko ʻení..
Ko e hā e meʻa ʻe hokó kapau te ke foaki ki ho husepānití ʻa e kotoa ʻo e ʻOfá,ʻoua naʻá ne teitei taʻofi ia mei ha faʻahinga meʻa,Ka ko ia ʻoku ne fakafisingaʻi koe ʻi he taimi kotoa pe ʻoku ke kumi ʻuhinga ai? ʻOku ʻikai ke ne teitei maluʻi koe ka ʻokú ne maluʻi maʻu pē ʻa e tokotaha ʻoku ʻi ai haʻo palopalema mo? Fakamanamanaʻi koe ʻaki ha vete mali ʻi ha taimi te ke pehe ai te ke talaange ki hono husepaniti fekauʻaki mo ʻena kiʻi talanoa tauʻataina ʻi ha fakavaʻe fakaʻaho. Ko e hā leva e meʻa ʻoku fai ʻe ha houʻeiki fafine ???
Ko e ha hoʻo meʻa ʻoku fai ʻi he taimi 13 hili ha ngaahi taʻu lahi mei ai ʻokú ke ʻi he tuʻunga tatau Kotoa koeʻuhí ko e kakai fefine tatau ???
ʻOkú Ne toe fakamanamanaʻi koe ʻaki ha vete mali kapau te ke laka atu ki muʻa ? ʻOku ʻikai ke ne vahevahe ʻa e mohenga tatau mo koe ʻi ha ngaahi uike… Ko e hā e meʻa ʻoku fai ʻe ha Houʻeiki Fafine he taimi ko i? Ko e hā ʻoku fekauʻaki maʻu ai pē mo e tuʻunga ʻoku ʻi ai e tangatá mo e founga ʻoku totonu ke tau fakaʻapaʻapaʻi ai kinautol , ko e taimi ʻoku ʻikai ke nau teitei fakaʻapaʻapaʻi ai kitautolú ʻoku ʻikai ke nau fakaʻapaʻapaʻi ai kitautolu kakai… 🙁
TUKU ia!
Kapau ʻoku femoʻuekina ho husepānití ʻi he ngaahi meʻa angamahení, ʻoua ʻe fakahohaʻasi ia ʻaki e fanga kiʻi kē iiki ʻo e ʻahó. ʻI heʻene foki ki ʻapí, ʻoange ha taimi ke ne kiʻi mālōlō mo nofo ai ki muʻa peá ke toki laku kotoa hoʻo fanga kiʻi meʻa iiki fakaʻahó kiate ia. Feinga ke ke fokotuʻutuʻu ʻiate koe pē ʻa e fanga kiʻi meʻa iiki ʻo ho ʻahó, hangē ko hono tokangaʻi ʻe ho husepānití ʻa e ngaahi palopalema lalahi ʻo e ʻahó, ʻo ʻikai ke ne fakahā atu ke ke ʻiloʻi koeʻuhí he ʻoku ʻikai ke ne fie fakahohaʻasi koe. Maʻu ʻene falala, ʻaki e ʻikai ke ke fakaʻehiʻehi mei he ngaahi palopalema taʻeʻaonga ʻo e ʻaho ki he lahi taha te ke lava, pea fakahā kiate ia ʻa e ngaahi meʻa ʻoku fie maʻu tahá, ʻi he taimi totonu. ʻAi ke ne ʻiloʻi kae ngata pē ʻi he ngaahi fakaikiiki mahuʻinga tahá. ʻOku kehe ʻa e vakai ʻa e tangatá ki he ngaahi meʻá, ko ia kapau te ke fakaikiiki ʻa e ngaahi meʻa ʻoku ne tui ʻoku fakatamasiʻi mo ʻikai mahuʻinga te ne ala ʻita, pea kapau te ke fai ia ʻi he taimi ʻoku ʻikai te ne kei mavahe ai mei he ngaahi meʻa fakahohaʻa ʻo e ʻaho ko iá he taimi ko iá….
Ko e meʻatau lelei taha ʻa ha uaifi ʻi hono husepānití ko ʻene ʻofa mo e tokanga ʻi he founga totonú. Kapau te ke ako pe ke fakaʻaongaʻi totonu ia. Ke fakafoki ia ki he hala, fakasiʻisiʻi ange ʻa e tuʻunga hoʻo ʻofa ki he tuʻunga siʻisiʻi taha ʻa ia ko ho fatongia, pea te ne fai ʻa e meʻa kotoa pē ke ke maʻu ai ʻa e ʻofa mo e tokanga makehe ko iá… ʻOku ʻikai ko ʻeku ʻuhinga ki he tangata pe fefine pe, ʻe “ʻOfa”.
Kapau ʻoku ne ngaohikovia koe, ʻoku ke maʻu ʻa e totonu ke liʻaki ia. Kātaki ʻo ʻoua naʻá ke nofo ʻo maumauʻi hoʻo moʻuí mo ha taha ʻokú ne ngaohikovia maʻu pē koe. Mahalo te ke fakakaukau ko e meʻa faingataʻa taha ke fai ʻa e mavahe (ʻoku fie maʻu ki ai ʻa e loto-to) ka ʻe tataki koe ʻe he tuí Allah. Kuo ke foaki kiate ia ʻa e meʻa kotoa pe te ke lava pea ʻoku ne kei li ia ki ho fofonga, ke ke mālohi pea ʻalu atu. Manatuʻi Allah tokoniʻi pe ʻa kinautolu ʻoku nau tokoniʻi kinautolu. ʻOku maʻu maʻu pē ʻa e leleí mei he koví. Te ke maʻu ʻa e malohi ia. ʻOku ʻikai ha moʻui taʻe ʻi ai ha melino.
kuo pau ke ke tohoakiʻi mai ia ʻi he founga ko ia,ʻoku totonu ke ne manavasiʻi ke fanongo ki he foʻi lea ko e ʻVETE MALI’ mei ho ngutú….
Faleʻi lelei fefine
Ko e kau tangata moʻoni ʻoku nau fakakaukau ki he kakai fefine kehe, ka ʻoku ʻikai ke tonu ia. Brothers, ʻoua naʻá ke tukuakiʻi ho uaifí kapau te ke kamata maʻu ha ngaahi fakakaukau taʻemaʻa fekauʻaki mo e kakai fefine kehé. ʻOku fekauʻi kitautolu ʻe Allah ʻi he Quran ke tuku hifo ʻetau sio, ʻa ia ko hono taʻofi kitautolu mei haʻatau maʻu ha ngaahi fakakaukau taʻefeʻunga.
K ki he fakamatala ko ʻeni! ʻoku ou helaʻia he fanongo ki he ngaahi “kumi ʻuhinga” ʻoku faʻu ʻe he tangatá maʻanautolu pē. Ngalivale pe
ʻE lava fefe ke hoko ha meʻa ʻoku fakangalingali ko ha fakaʻilonga ʻo ha ʻ kau Mosilemi lelei ange ʻ? ʻI he laine tatau, ko hono tui ʻo e tataá (kātaki, ʻikai ke u ʻilo ʻa e foʻi lea fakatekinikale ki he tataa), ʻalu ki he mosque mo e ala meʻa pehe. – ʻikai ʻoku nau fakangalingali kotoa? Naʻe faʻu ʻe Mohammad ʻa e ngaahi lao ki hono taimi – ʻi ha faʻahinga taumuʻa. Ke fakaʻaongaʻi ʻa e ʻngaahi tuʻutuʻuni tatau’ he ʻoku ʻikai ʻuhingamālie moʻoni ʻa e senituli lolotongá. ʻOku kau ai mo e foʻi moʻoni ko ia ko e faʻahinga ʻo e tangata leleí ʻa e meʻa ʻoku fie maʻu ke feinga ha taha ke ne aʻusia, ʻikai ko ha kau Mosilemi lelei. Ko e meʻa pe ʻoku ou fakatokangaʻi.
Sndp
Ko ia ʻoku ke ʻiloʻi ʻi he lotolotonga ʻo e kau mosilemi lelei ko ia ʻa e kau MOSILEMI lelei. ʻOku ʻikai ke tatau ʻa e kau Mosilemi kotoa pe, ʻoku ke talanoa ki ha niʻihi tokosiʻi.
ke felengi ʻoku ou tui ʻoku ʻi ai ha kau tangata Mosilemi tokolahi ʻoku nau saiʻia ange ke mistresses kae ʻikai toe mali…ko ha tangata ʻokú ne loto ke toe mali pea fatongia ʻaki ʻe ha fefine kehe ʻi heʻeku fakakaukaú ʻoku loto-toʻa ʻaupito…..ʻoku ou loto ke maʻu ʻe hoku husepānití ha uaifi hono uá kae ʻikai ke lahi e ngaahi meʻa nounoú,,,,, ʻoku tokolahi ha kau fafine ʻoku ʻikai ke nau ʻiloʻi ʻoku kākā honau husepānití ʻiate kinautolu…..
fakamatala fakaʻofoʻofa….fineʻeiki sha Allah…naʻe fakamatalaʻi nounou ʻaupito.. wud lekomeni every1 ke mamata ʻi sk.yasir qadhi lea ʻi ha feituʻu ʻi he YouTube “hangē ha kāmení” kalasi…ko e fakamatala fakaʻofoʻofa alhamdulillah fakaʻofoʻofa.. maʻá e houʻeiki tangatá mo fafiné fakatouʻosi,,,,:)
ʻOku kehe ʻa e fakakaukau ia ʻa e kakai .
Ko ʻeku fakakaukau ki he fakamatala ko ʻeni maʻa e kakai ʻoku mahino ki ai pe feinga ke, tuku ʻa e hīkisiá ʻi ha feituʻu mamaʻo.
The reaction of most of these women show exactly why this article is called ‘7 things your husband won’t tell you’
JazakAllah to the author
malo!!!! JazakhAllah khyr this was very true an helpful
I need some advice, ko ha angahala ia ki ha tangata Mosilemi mali ke ʻi ai haʻane fetuʻutaki mo ha fefine hinehina Kalisitiane pe ko ʻena totonu ke ʻi ai hano kaumeʻa fefine ?
Assalamu Alaikum.
ʻIo, ko ha angahala ia ki he tangata Mosilemi pe fefine Mosilemi ke ʻi ai haʻane meʻa makehe ki he nofo-mali pe ko ha meʻa kimuʻa he nofo-mali, hoko ki ai mo ha kau Mosilemi pe ʻikai ko ha kau Mosilemi.
ʻOku Allah ʻiloʻi lelei taha.
@Kay: lava ke u ʻomai ha Daleel (fakamoʻoni) ki hoʻo ngaahi fakamatalá. ʻOku ou saiʻia ke vakavakaiʻi kinautolu. Naʻá ke pehē ʻoku ʻikai ngofua ke mali ha tangata mo ha fika 2 taʻe maʻu ʻa e ʻuluaki fakangofuá. Kuó ne ʻosi maʻu ha ngofua mei hono ʻeikí mo ha ngaahi meʻa naʻe hā mai. Ko ia ai ko e fakangofua mei hono ʻuluaki uaifí ko e KALO. Fakamoʻoni Kātaki ʻo
asalamu alaikum,
ʻoku ou saiʻia ʻaupito he fakamatala ko ʻení. ʻokú ne tokoniʻi au ke fakafiemālieʻi hoku ʻatamai loto mamahí mo ʻofa lahi ange ʻi hoku lotó. ʻOku lelei ʻaupito ʻa e ALLAH…….
Asalam O Alikum!
Kuo u lau ʻa e fakamatala ko ʻeni & I feel this article is like imposing things on women. ʻUluakí kotoa,I’d like to clarify few things before I get deep into this to comment. I’m not even married but IN SHA ALLAH I’ll marry the girl I love & the girl for whom I’m praying. But watching comments & after reading the article I’d like to say that SEX is not only the thing keeping marriages prosper & happy life.
One should learn how to respect his wife. Women indeed isn’t something sex slave,and if she denies to have then what’s the big deal? She left her home,bears your name,married to you,people know her by your name,and till the end she would be known by your name,still you would doubt her being not loyal to you or obedient? Think about this please.
Having dinner & lunch with your wife together makes her feel more special too. Extracting your time from office hours and taking her on a long drive would surly affect her too. Make her feel special & she’ll make you feel special too.
I can’t be selfish on this when it comes to second marriage & indeed I’ll try to fix issues instead of going for second thought. And why would I when I love my wife. Everytime it isn’t a happy hour to spend. Sometimes you’ve to face the difficult phases & problems too. That’s what life is.
I hope this didn’t hurt someone feelings.
ʻoku ou tui tatau mo koe
That’s exactly how it should be.
salam..
good points you wrote, but in reality, you haven’t married.
ʻio, sex is not the only thing important in marriage, but it is the most important. Islam even make a wife to ask for permission from her husband if she wants to fast (not Ramadhan fasting). I believe you know the wisdom behind this command of Allah swt.
The writer is just writing on what is happening in our society. Reality, not being idealistic. The writer is just being realistic!
Like it or not, some men are polygamous in nature (if not all) and we have to deal with that.
I am a guy, and for many reasons I have always wanted only one wife. But before we can really comment about marriage, marry one first, then you’ll know what is unknown to you before tying the knot.
Nice comments you wrote there though, and I enjoy reading em. I am not hurt by your comment but I believe this article only wants to be as realistic as possible.
Wallahua’lam
Bravo.Mashallah.this is the thoughts of a regular muslim guy. and look at the attitude of the person with a lot of knowledge.everything is wasted on the author.He is such a fool.using religion to put forward his dirty thinking.Alhamdulillah there are good muslim men out there.Dont spread your poison in the name of religion.Fear Allah. If you can stop fantasizing about your future wives that is.
its really really nicely you explained thanks for the post may ALLAH give you the reward
Men should also remember this aspect of our role model Prophet Muhammad (MAMATA) that he didnt marry any other wife till Khadija RA, the first wife was alive.
I agree with Kay and I am a muslim Man. Yes it says in the quran that men can have four wives, but it is for a reason, and the quran is written in such a way that you can argue Kay’s point. The quran says that a man must treat his wives equally, you can easily argue that if the original wife doesnt want her husband to marry again then that is him being unfair to his first wife as compared to the potential second wife.
And if you read all the way through surat al-nisa you’ll come to the part where God basically says You will not be able to treat them(houʻeiki fafiné) equally. ”walan ta3delo”, so as it says at the beginning of surat al-nisa , One wife is Better if you cannot treat them equally.
P.S Please keep open minds, do not try to scare one another with threats of ”you nearly left islam with your words”
I disagree with #4. If he loves you enough he is not gonna be thinking of considering another wife or another woman even for a second. Just because majority of muslim men do doesnt mean all do. We live in 2014 people, ʻikai 600 BC lol.
Informative article. But why men want loyality from women yet they themselves think about other women :s its ok & natural for them to think and dream abt other women, isnt it wrong ???
Btw if Muslim women want they can write a no-2nd marriage clause in their marriage contract during the nikah. Your husband is then forbidden from a 2nd wife unless he wants a divorce.
Fakaʻosi, just like the man, a woman desires respect from her man too. Goes both ways really.
I think the writer of this article is a bit misinformed.
Women actually look at attractive men too. Women want physical intimacy too. Its not just men.
I also find it kind of wrong how the writer kind of placed the responsibility of being faithful on the wife. In the end your own integrity makes you stay loyal.
Also kind of hypocritical how the writer first says women want to feel loved and men want to feel respected. The article asks women to respect their husbands but the final point says if he doesn’t say I love you it’s alright, he still loves you. Ko ia, women validate and massage your husband’s ego but it’s alright if you feel neglected. Fakaʻofoʻofa.
Just like if a woman wants a man to love her, she needs to figure out how to show respect even when she doesn’t respect him, and figure out how to be with him at night even when she’s not feeling attracted to him, just like this, if a man wants his woman to respect him, then he needs to figure out how to talk to her and show his emotions instead of hiding behind the all-too-easy “Argh, I’m a man, talking is too hard for me” screen. Gifts don’t make up for it, and gifts don’t make me respect someone. Fakapapauʻi, I can fake respect. But if they want it to be real, they need to think about what the wife REALLY wants and needs, instead of what’s easier for them.
Wa salam
salam alaykum
I love my husband but he hurts me too much when he calls me names like stupid, shaitan, shit, May Allah forgive me if I am in pain he doesn’t comfort me I cook something and it doesn’t come out nice he insults me in a harsh way not been nice like e.g Maryam your cooking wasn’t nice keep trying and you will get better , then I would listen and respect him he compares me to his friends wives
please help me when ever we fight he doesn’t give chance too speak only insult me so I treaten him I will leave you our maybe we should get divorce
Please you deserve care, ʻofa, honour and respect. No one deserves to be spoken to like that. Honestly, if he is not willing to change his ways then leave him, you do not need to live in misery. Allah is watching and the almighty will give you strength and courage. Don’t keep threatening him with words, you need to show you mean it and do it. You have the right to your happiness and to be treated with respect. Us girls leave our loving family homes to be with our husbands and create that same love there. Some of us are fortunate enough and some of aren’t. That’s life.
assalamualaikum,, I not married as yet but I see so much truth in this article by examples of those married or who has been married around me. I have always thought that I would never allow my husband to marry again, however this article has reinforced wat was in my subconscious which is; ” who am I to dictate to my husband against the word of the quraan” so after reading this I now admit to my acceptance if I should ever experience a case like this,, who knows I may just find myself in the shoes of the second, uaifi hono tolú pe faá. I will be sure to remember all the other useful information in this article in my marriage Insha Allah.
Hi,I came across this when googling about Islamic views on male fantasies.I have been married for the last 8 years and realised my husband not only think about other women (which you seem to agree that most men do,well most straight men at least) but what is recommended that I do should I realise that not only does my husband think about other women,he thinks about having sex with them as well.I find it truly disturbing and upsetting not to mention disrespectful but he seemed to be forcing me to accept this is what it really is.I am truly lost.Please advise.
very nice.. now all we have to do is FIND ourselves nice husbands worthy of all what u have written in the article above…..but to add a point, women are not servants.. they are mans’ partners.. equal partners in life.
may allah give woman more strength to hold problem in the world dont forget allah have made you lovable and beautiful creature to solve problem itself be happy allah will solve your problem
I get so tired of reading articles like this. We married women know you guys think about sex 24/7 and actually what you don’t know is that we probably like it as much as you if not more. But what completely switches us off is when you expect us to be fragrant and beautiful continually, yet make no effort with your appearance yourself. Showing us no tenderness or thoughtfulness, making us second best to your mum, your family, your mates. Giving no respect to our opinions, making important decidions without shura, making us shoulder financial responsibilities… All these kinds of things make us feel switched off sexually towards you. We want a gorgeous hero for a husband ad much ad you want a gorgeous wife. And as for “he thinks of other women” – when you treat us like this, it is then we wish we had another husband who is a gorgeous hero.. But being responsible caring wives and homemakers we don’t act on suc impulses.
This is a great article about men and how to keep your husband happy but why is there never any mention of how to keep a woman happy and what a man can do for a woman? What about 7 things your wife won’t tell you? And I totally I agree with muslimah. Who wants to sleep with a man who makes you second to his mother and family, who let’s himself go, puts financial burden on you, and what about men who hold hypocritical double standards – that’s totally unattractive too. There needs to be an article about what men can do for their wives bcz I’m sick and tired of reading any more tripe as to how I can better serve a man. Get it together men.
Just a curious question: as for men racing to take 2,3 pe 4 wives but why is it that in old age when sick and frail then the man races back to the first wife ? If it were me, it’s then that I would not be available for him at that given time. This I’ve witnessed in many families.
SubhanAllah ladies , stop being selfish . FOR THE LAST TIME , ISLAM Doesn’t force anything on anybody . ʻOku ʻiloʻi lelei taha ʻe Allah , there is a reason for this , you just need trust Allah . I am a woman but I know men very good . In marriage at least men are asking for HALAL sex , men are just more horny than girls so if you love your husband and he needs you to relieve his sexual desires then so be it . Would you rather he cheat and have haram sex ??? . And men have all and every right to get married 4 times if he can afford it remember ladies , no he doesn’t need permission from you but it’s better you discuss about it . So stop being childish and open your eyes . We have to accept and love the ways Allah has rolled it down for us . All the ladies grown up in west (myself included) like to think men and woman have the same rights ( I am not saying every body but there are some) . no you don’t , he can married to 4 ladies you can be married to one . He has rights and so do you
So please don’t act like its forced on you
on the contrary you DO need to ask your wife for permission before taking another wife. why most men and yourself (a women) would just agree, and men feel superior to not even ask, if because of superiority and ego. if you study Islam truthfully you will know u need to ask first. these are selfih man, and simple women who dont stand up for themselves
you dont have to be a muslim wife to do these just a wife..it goes without saying…marriage is a commitment for life thats just me personallyy.if you cant ..then dont get married..im a catholic and my fisnce is muslim ..hes s just the same with a non muslim guy….hes a man he has a needs and when you love someone..you will do anything to keep him happy im not even his wife yet and im doing that already….
This was shockingly one sided…. I imagine there is an article for “things a muslim wife wont tell you”, but you really put men high up on a pedal-stool, in the Islamic perspective women really are required to wholeheartedly “obey” pea mo “accept” all the lust of their husbands.
Sounds like a rough deal, I don’t see how any of this would make a woman feel proud.
im a young muslimah and reading most of your posts has upsetted me you all in eachothers hair you can give advice yes but if you do it with attitude even if you right allah will not reward you for the advice you have given im not one to judge for Allah is the judge of all imperfetions..im human and by reading all these posts it has scared me for the way you guys dont respect the law of islam and how selfish some woman is may allah put it in your hearts to accept whatever difficulties lies ahead for you and bear in mind allah will never put i through something we wont be able to handle for allah is mercifull and you sould accept and respect all trails that comes your way repend to allah and allah will help you accept this matter unshallah…in the name of allah may we help eachother other then going off at one onother remember no one is perfect but we can always try and help the next person inshallah.. il make duah for all wives that feels this way about this law il make duah for allah to grant you the guidance to soften your hearts to grant you wisdom and to give you the ghidiah to repend inshallah ameen may allah increase our knowledge and forgive us our sins ameen
this second wife issue is not for fun as many men want to believe. Its only allowed on some cases where its really needed. Its not like ”Oh i have one blonde wifr, let me have one black wife as well”. Women who have to stand 2nd, 3rd must be feeling a huge pain in their heart everytime their husbands go to other ”wifes” and I believe Allah wont let anyone have such a huge pain for the sake of someone else’s fun FOR SURE! And about this respect issue, nothing comes by itself. U will show me respect and i will show u respect. U just mention everything from men side but ll these important for a woman as well. All people (expect those nonhumans) deserve respect.
Does everyone here agree with #4? I cannot imagine that all married men think about taking another woman. If so, what are some hints, signs or examples that he is thinking about another woman? Mālō ʻaupito.
I am in 2 minds about the multiple wives issue. I am a white English revert sister, who was raised Catholic my whole life before coming to Islam, so I know I am fighting my ingrained culture when I feel instinctively against it.
Neongo ia, I could be a second wife, ʻikai ha palopalema ka he ʻikai ke u lava ʻo hoko ko ha ʻuluaki uaifi naʻe toki fika ua hono husepaniti. Kiate au, naʻe fie maʻu ʻe hoku husepānití ha uaifi ʻe taha ke u ongoʻi taʻe-malava pea neongo pe ko e hā e lahi ʻeku feinga mālohi ke u hoko ko e uaifi lelei tahá, te u ongoʻi ʻoku ʻikai ke u sai feʻunga koeʻuhí he naʻe sio hoku husepānití ki ha feituʻu kehe. ʻE feʻunga pē ʻa e ngaahi ongo mo e ngaahi ongo ko ʻení ke ne fakaʻauha ʻa e vā fetuʻutakí, kapau ʻoku ʻikai hangatonu, ko e moʻoni, ʻi he kahaʻu vave maí.
Te u lava pē ʻo hoko ko ha uaifi hono ua koeʻuhí he ʻikai ke maʻu e ngaahi ongo ko ia ʻo e taʻe feʻungá.
ʻOku ou ongoʻi ofo, tanganeʻia mo fakaʻapaʻapaʻi ha fefine pē ʻokú ne foaki hono tāpuakí ki hono husepānití ʻo ʻave hono uaifi hono uá. ʻOku hoko moʻoni ʻa e kau fafine ko ʻení ko e lelei taha ʻi hotau lotolotongá, he ko ha meʻa faingataʻa mo faingataʻa ia ke fai.
Faka-ʻAssalam…..
TAʻOFI E HOKO KO HA KAU FAFINE SIOKITA….TOKONI UR KAU FAFINE MOSILEMI KI HV NGEIA N HIKISIA …IM A MARRIED WOMAN…I WOULD ALLOW MY HUSBAND TO REMARRY IF HE DOES THAT WITH A SOLID REASON WHICH CONNECTED TO ALLAH’S WILL….ILL MAKE SURE HE WOULD FOLLOW THE RULES N REGULATION IN A POLYGAMY…ESPECIALLY THE ‘NAFKAH’ PART…WHERE SEXUALLY N FINANCIALLY SUPPORT R CONCERNED…..IF NOT I WOULD SEE THE KADHI TO CLAIM MY RIGHT…
TO ME WHEN THINGS ARE ALLOWED IN AL QURAN…THERE WILL ALWAYS BE A BLESSING IN DISGUISE…
MY FELLOW MUSLIMAH…LETS GET CLOSE TO ALLAH…SO WE CAN GET OUR HUSBANDS TO BE CLOSE TO US..INSHA ALLAH..
Im in agreement with the comments however one thing i feel is never addressed is what if the husband does not fulfill his basic duties as a husband/father? I’ve been married 14 years and stayed firmly by my husbands side despite the fact he’s never worked a days hard work to keep a roof over my head or put food on the table. I work to support my family some days I’m utterly exhausted i cry because i wonder for how long i can do this for! i dream of being able to ‘respect’ my husband but i must admit over the years i feel that respect i had for him is declining I’ve stayed loyal despite our circumstances. Ive sat and told my husband how i feel and he does nothing, I’ve done nothing but encourage my husband in the nicest possible way to do something with his life, fakalele ʻene pisinisi pe ʻaʻana mo e ala meʻa pehee ka ʻoku to ia ki he telinga tuli he taimi ni kuo u ʻalu ke fakalele ʻi hoku famili ʻi he taimi ʻoku ou hifo ai pea ʻikai ke u toe lava ʻo toʻo. Koeʻuhí ko e meʻá ni , ʻoku ui au ʻe hoku husepānití ke u mateaki kapau he ʻikai ke u fakahā atu pea tuku ke ongoʻi lōmekina ʻeku ngaahi hohaʻá, hohaʻa, mamahi ʻo aʻu ki he lahi ʻo e ongoʻi puke. he ʻikai ha meʻa te u toe saiʻia ai ka ko haʻaku sio ki hoku husepānití ʻoku ʻalu ʻo ngāue mo talitali lelei ia ki ʻapi ki ha fale māʻopoʻopo maʻa, ko ha maʻu meʻatokoni ʻi he tepile pea u sio pe ki he founga ʻoku ne saiʻia ai ke u sio ki ai. ʻoku ou faʻa kumi ʻuhinga ke ʻoua naʻa fakahoko ʻene ngaahi holi fakasekisuale koeʻuhi pe ko ʻeku ongosia he ngaue, sio ki he fanau mo e ʻapi pe koeʻuhi he ʻoku ou ongoʻi pe ko e meʻa pe ia ʻoku ou ʻi heni ke fakafiemalieʻi ia lolotonga ʻene heka faingofua. despite all this my husband chats to women and deep down i have strong reason to suspect he has been with other women. i wouldn’t state this if i honestly didn’t believe it. so tell me what are my rights? and would you say my husband still qualifies for the above? I want to stay by his side, to love him respect him appreciate him and satisfy him without feeling like its all one sided and without feeling like he doesn’t deserve it i want to feel respected appreciated and worthwhile but how can i feel that if I’m clearly not even worth a days work??
When polygamy is brought up we have this notion or fantasy that the man will be living the life and fulfill his desire and the women will suffer. Polygamy is a big responsibility. A man has to financially emotionally physically and mentally take care of 2 households. That’s extremely difficult these days. How many of us men are amirs or princes living a lavish lifestyle. 0.001%. So if anyone is seriously thinking about polygamy they better be up for the job. The sahaba were real men and were fighters and very responsible people. Polygamy was a social welfare for them. Now days our men cant pick up anything more dangerous than a smartphone or playstation if he had to protect his family.
Another point is that actually polygamy can lift the burden of responsibility the woman have towards their husbands and gives her more freedom. (Sidetracked)
Lets be real here these conditions for polygamy to happen that everyone keeps mentioning… Where’s the proof? Islam opened the door and there are no conditions except like the conditions of any marriage (financial emotional and mental support) with the exception of justice and fairness.. Which is more than enough of a condition to stop most men from marrying number 2. How many muslim men have actually married more than 1 wife around you? Very few. Im in Saudi and not many men do it… even though there are a ton of unmarried girls here in Saudi. As I said before its much more of a burden than a privilege.
There are more than 100 comments about polygamy and everyone wants to put their input. Its simple. Its halal but the man has to live up with it. How many can do so? So brothers and sisters before talking about the chances of your husband or yourself getting married again we need to fix and improve our current marriages. If we cant get 1 right how can we get 2 pe 3 toʻomataʻú?
Excuse my typos. I typed this up on my phone.
Wsalam
Abu Ubaydah
Salam Alay’k.
Indeed and agree with your comment Abu Ubaydah in shaa ALLAH 😀
Abu Ubaydah
JazakAllahukhayran for your comment it was a point well made.
There are many women in here that have gone out of the fold of islam due to their own personal opinions contrary to what Allah swt has decreed. Do you think anyone cares about what you think when we have the Quran and the Sunnah?! Now I realize how good I got it because Alhamdulillah my wife is not like most of you regurgitating your jahiliyya to an extent to commit major kufr. There is a reason why the majority of the inhabitants in Jahannam are women. Have taqwa women! Unbelievable!!!
Qurʻan (33:36) – “It is not fitting for a Believer, tangata pe fefine, when a matter has been decided by Allah and His Messenger to have any option about their decision.”
‘There is a reason why the majority of inhabitants in Jahhanam are women’. That’s more than a little harsh (not to mention used in the wrong context). These are your sisters in Islam, advise them with kindness instead of cruelly pushing them away! May Allah grant us all taqwa and love and understanding of His deen.
Salaam
It is hard to be all that for a man who doesnt respect,show love,have intimacy and hardly spends any time with kids…Do not bother him with small talk?what is that?
Shouldn’t man and wife be friends, ask for eacothers opinion as Our Prophet(pbuh)did?
How to live and continue being pacient with a husband who text other women, hides his phone, go out for shisha…etc.
I am being patient for 10 years but it is hard believe me.It takes its toll, when he gets nicely dressed and goes out without saying he is going out that night, or just even saying where he is going,when he is coming…none of it…just gets up,gets dressed and gives salaam…How can I be loving, caring and make myself beautiful for someone like that?May Allah guide me and everyone in hardship inshaAllah…
ʻOkú ke fai leva ʻa e fefine tatau. Xxoo
ʻoku ou tui tatau mo koe ,u fanaʻi ʻeku palopalema lahi.ko e foʻi lea pe ʻe taha ʻoku ou fie lea ʻaki ʻ malo ʻ.
Fakaʻofoʻofa mo moʻoni! Kapau ʻokú ke fie maʻu ha faleʻi lahi ange kau ki he nofo-malí – sio https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jf6B4xk3kcI fai ʻe Yasir Qadhi. Pea lau ʻa e ʻUaifi ʻoku Tukulolo’ mo e ʻFakaʻofoʻofa ʻo e Tuʻunga Fakafinemu’ – ʻa e ngaahi tohi. ʻE ʻi ai ha ngaahi meʻa ʻe faingataʻa ke folo hifo maʻatautolu ʻe he houʻeiki fafiné, ka naʻe fakatupu kitautolu ʻe Allah swt ʻi he founga ko ʻeni, ko ia, ka ke fakamālohia koe ʻaki ʻa e ʻilo mo e mahino ko ʻení, ʻi he lāungá mo e fakafehuʻia ʻa e hala ʻo e ngaahi meʻá. Pea ʻoku Allah ʻiloʻi lelei taha. Zakkiya – http://www.muslimommy.com
Ko e ha ʻe hoko kapau te ne ngaohikovia fakatuʻasino koe, fakaʻitaʻi koe mo ho fāmilí ʻi he faingamālie kotoa pē naʻá ne fakatupu, fakamanamanaʻi maʻu pē ʻa e vete malí, koeʻuhí ko e fanga kiʻi palopalema īkí. ʻE kei ʻita pe Allah kiate au kapau ʻe tuku ʻeku ongoʻi kiate ia? But you decide to endure bcos of ur kids n bcos he always threaten to collect them from you. What happens if you hate his touch or being intimate with him n never look forward to it ever. Sighhhh
Sister you need to get some counseling for your husband and either he changes or you leave him. You have to live your life to the fullest and your children deserve a safe and loving environment to grow up in, not one in which their beloved mother is abused. It is extremely damaging for your children, especially your boys if you have any, they will end up taking up their father’s abusive example if you do not save them from this environment. Please get some counseling for your situation. I pray Allaah helps you and others in situations like yours.
assalam o alaikum, SUBHAN ALLAH thank u bro for sharing such a nice and meaning full message, very good job,JAZAK ALLAH,,,,,,,,and pray for me m searching a bride for me………
Thanks for advice. But brother after doing all whatever you have written if husband doesn’t respect her and not satisfied her what she should do. Just to forgive and make sandwich?
i`m married for the second time.
i have a daughter from my first marriage.
i`m not able to give my second husband a baby.(i`m not pregnant)
i have done all types of treatment but no result.
my husband love me lot of.
his family told him to do second marriage.
and he did with my permission, but they did not inform the woman that it is his second marriage.
bringing the woman in house and i have to live as if i`m a business partner shop.
the second wife got baby.
but my husband love me also, he told me that he will not leave me.
but i don`t like the way things is going like this.
i`m sleeping alone.
when he want love with me, it is at day time at other place.
Ne u ʻilo ko e meʻa ʻeni ʻoku ne fakaʻuhingaʻi pea kapau ʻoku ʻikai ke u maʻuhala naʻe tohi ia ʻe ha tangata?
ʻoku pehē ki he tangatá ke “tuku hifo ʻa e sio” ʻi Quran Sharif. ʻi Quran Sharif “looking and thinking of other women” makes it completely “normal and natural and unsinnful”?
don’t thomp your thinking on all men! “looking at women is natural and unsinnful” is just YOUR THINKING AND NOT ALL MEN’S.
Wow here’s what women expect men to be like. ʻOku ou fiefia ʻi hoʻo taʻefelotoi ha tangata mo e tokotaha ko ʻení. Koeʻuhí ʻoku ʻikai ke ke moʻoni ʻoku tatau ʻa e tangata kotoa pē pea ʻoku ʻikai totonu ke muimui ha taha ʻi he fakamatala ko ʻení (ʻoku makatuʻunga ia ʻi he ngaahi meʻa ne aʻusia ʻe he kau faʻu tohi) hoko pe ko e tokotaha naʻa ke mali mo ia ʻoku ngaue kiate koe pea muimui Allah ko ia ʻoku ne fakamauʻi kotoa. Fiefia ʻoku ʻi ai ha kau tangata anga fakaʻapaʻapa ʻoku nau muimui moʻoni ki he ʻIsilami fokotuʻu moʻoni.
Assalam o alikum
ʻoku ou fie kole ke u mali 3 toe ha ngaahi māhina mo ha tangata naʻá ku fehiʻa taha aí. Lolotonga ʻema vahaʻataimi fakamaʻu ne u ʻilo ai he ʻikai ke u lava ʻo nofo mo e tangata ko ʻeni ne u lea ki ai ki heʻeku faʻee ka naʻe ʻikai ke ne fie fanongo mai kiate au. Naʻe ʻiloʻi ʻe he tokotaha te u mali mo iá naʻe ʻikai ke u fie mali mo ia pea ʻoku ou fehiʻa ʻiate ia mei hoku lotó pea he ʻikai ke u teitei lava ʻo ʻofa ʻiate ia. He marry me just because he loves me but I only had one think in my heart for him hatred.
I got married to him for my family, soon after marriage the day I went to his house the entire house burden n my father in laws responsibility was on me. I used to cook food for them I did everything a wife should be doing. Yes I used to have fights with my husband on pity things because he was not giving me the love I wanted I wanted his care I wanted him to see I stay home all alone I go frustrated n crazy. All he used to do was he was busy in his own world. I started feeling he only wants few things from me … I must be there with him on bed whenever he wants it I must cook food for him I must do all the household things and inreturn he couldn’t console me not financially not mentally n not even emotionally. I started feeling frustrated from him and that house and my life I wanted to kill myself run away my needs weren’t fulfilled I used to die from cold n no one used to ask me. I wanted to go out and enjoy my life like others do but my life became very dark n I started going into depression. Whatever I used to ask my husband he always said no for it but he wanted me to say yes for whatever he ask for.
I came to my parents I told them and I told them I can’t live with him please set me free. But due to their respect in society they want me to go back. I am again into depression and don’t know what to do. I don’t want to go back don’t want to live with that man anymore. I can’t love him and give him what he wants.
Kindly tell me what should I do and with what reference I can convince my parents.
Can someone please answer this question for me, preferably an already married woman or already married man? Fakamālō atu kimuʻa! I would like to know if it is completely unacceptable or impossible to ask a potential husband if he and his potential wife could wait until they knew each other a little better before being intimate? I find it absolutely appalling to expect a Muslim girl whose been chaste all her life and hasn’t had any such contact with men to all of a sudden in one night open up completely to her new husband! It’s ridiculous. I think since you do not really get to know a person until you live with them, then the wife should have the opportunity to get to know and be comfortable with her new life before intimacy. That should really be the last stage. There needs to be time to build trust and an emotional connection before intimacy. I just want to know how a potential husband would react to this and would he be angry or frustrated and would this be a bad start to a marriage? Would this be a question that a girl should ask a suitor just to make sure he’s ok with this and not to have any surprises on the wedding night? I appreciate your responses!
Don’t bother asking any men. Make sure you marry a good person that will oblige to your wishes that is all.
It is not required to be initmate on the wedding night. It is up to the couple.
Ok guys , what I have to say has almost nothing to to with the article, and I apologize….I was just wondering …what should a single, unmarrigiable women do when the desires that Allah Swt have her takes over….like I am under the marrigiable age…. And my parents wont allow me to to it until I atleast pass the age of 22…but being that I am a hormonal mess, I have to admit that as a female that I have desires that I would love to fulfill with my future husband…however that is not a reality for me. Although I have watched horrible videos in the past, I try not to anymore. So my long question is, is what I am doing wrong and how can I control my desires so as to please Allah. I repent everytime after doing it, but I am afraid that I will commit the sin to the point where my repentance will no longer be sincere or forgiven…Some one please help me I’m so confused
My husband married another girl without informing me. When I came to know about this that girl got a girl child. Now I also got 1 boy child. Me and my husband is living in foreign.every year he come for vacation 1 pe 2 months and he spend full time with 2 nd wife. I have to stay with my parents. My husband never show or say any love words to me. But he sends all love messages to his 2 nd wife. I feel that he is not having any love for me. I have 5 years old boy child. I thought of leaving him and live alone with my son. Because I love him too much but he loves the 2 nd wife only. When 1 pe 2 months he lives with 2 nd wife I feel that I am not having any husband. Shall I divorce him. Please advise me.
my husband Mustapha and I his wife Maureen appreciate the verses from the Holy Quron but frankly the rest of what you say is either useless or wrong. My husband never ever thinks or talks to other women. We are true Sunnah Muslims Hamdullah
and another thing the most important thing: my husband Mustapha never hides anything from me of corse not and I never hide anything from him!
i loved a muslim man. i am also a muslim girl..we had physical relationship on one day.but still i am virgin.he said before that we can marry if our parents allows.but now he dont want to marry me as his parents dont allow him to do..but now they agree.but he is saying that let us go two ways..not to make the parents sad..,how can i marry other person without telling him and cheating. we commited mistakes..i am asking allah to forgive everything…is wat he doing is right in islam?? i dont want to leave him.and i can make my parents me to marry him.but he is not ready for that…what will i do? according to islam wat is the solution for this?
Ko e ʻuluaki meʻa ke fai ko e fekumi ki ha fakamolemole moʻoni mei Allah koeʻuhi he ʻoku ʻikai ha tapuaki ʻi ha nofo mali ʻoku kamata mei haram. Uá, kapau ʻoku ʻikai ke ne loto fiemālie ki he malí, ko ha fakaʻilonga ʻeni naʻa ne fie maʻu pe ke taʻemaau holo – he ʻikai ke ke lava ʻo fakamalohiʻi ha taha ke fie mali mo koe, he kapau te ke fai ia, te ne fakatupu haʻo mamahi mo loto mamahi ʻi ha taimi lōloa. ʻOku ʻikai ha taha ia ʻe fuʻu mahuʻinga ke ke maumauʻi hoʻo fiefiá.
Tolú, fai ha ngaahi sitepu longomoʻui ke liliu hoʻo moʻui ke lelei ange pea moʻui ʻi ha founga ʻo fakatatau ki he meʻa ʻoku kole atu ʻe Allah kiate koe – pea ʻoku lelei ange ʻeni kiate koe mo hoʻo fiefiá. ʻE ʻoatu ʻe he Imaan ʻa e mālohi ʻokú ke fie maʻu ke ikunaʻi ʻaki e ngaahi palopalema ʻi hoʻo moʻuí mo fehangahangai mo e ngaahi meʻa ʻokú ke mamahi aí.
Faá, ʻoua naʻá ke teitei lea fekauʻaki mo e meʻa naʻe hoko ʻi ho vaá ki ha taha kehe. That is between you and Allah. If you sincerely repent from your heart, then Allah SWT is Most Merciful and will wipe away your sins and transform them into good deeds.
Fakaʻosi, make sincere dua that Allah SWT blesses you with someone who will love, respect and be a good role model for you – and this is the best outcome insha’Allah.
May Allah grant you ease in your affairs ameen
Salam
If I love an older man but he is already married is it allowed for me to marry him
Assalam walikum
My name is Ayesha.. I am a converted Muslim(Hindu to Muslim) bt I learned Urdu. Arabbi. Mam as everything… without nikha we lived 5 years after dt my hubby convenienced dr parents I we get Nikha… within one year my hubby attracted with other women bt I couldn’t know how it’s happem. Dn ʻoku ou feitama… hili ʻeku taʻahine hono uá naʻá ne tauhi ia ʻi ha fale totongi… kuo ʻosi mali ʻa e houʻeiki fafine ʻi he kuo 5 kiʻi pēpē valevale taʻu… mo e ʻuluaki husepaniti naʻa ne tauhi ʻa e va fetuʻutaki mo ʻeku fakaʻofoʻofa… ʻi he ʻosi ʻa e 5 taʻu ʻe 1 ʻene vete mo hono husepānití… ʻoku ne nofo he taimi ni mo ʻeku fakaʻofoʻofa n naʻa ne maʻu 1 kiʻi pepe ʻe heʻeku fakaʻofoʻofa. ʻOku ou mavahe mo ʻeku ʻi he fono n Dy toe ʻiloʻi foki ds n ʻeku faʻee-ʻi- ʻoku tala ʻe he lao ʻoku ne foaki ʻa e meʻa kotoa pe ʻoku hohaʻa ki ai ʻa ʻIo… I have 3 fanau 2daughers n 3ko e tamasiʻi taʻu 2taʻu… ʻOku ou loto mamahi ʻaupito ʻi heʻeku moʻui.. fakatuʻasino. Fakaʻatamai. Mei he ʻikai foki ke u ʻi he fono. ʻOku ʻikai ke ʻi ai ha fehokotaki ʻeku ongomātuʻá.. ko ia ʻoku ʻikai ke u maʻu ha poupou fakaeangamaʻa. T ʻeku moʻui moʻoní… ʻOku ou mavahe mo e ʻaloʻofa ʻa Allah…
Salam Aleykum,
Ne u lau e konga lahi ʻo e fuʻu poú ni
Ko e mali tokolahí ko ha “tonu fakapolitikale” tefitó, ka ko ha foʻi moʻoni ia, ʻoku fakangofua ia ʻi ʻIsilami fokotuʻu, also it is a fact that most women do not like it ( when it comes for the first wife) and it is a fact that a lot of the companions of the prophet did polygymy and most prophets as well, obviously it was a part of the life style back then for most men to have many women and if we look at it in a positive way, we would conclude that it’s out of the question that it is a noble thing to protect and respect many women and to make them wives rather than to have one wife and go to cheat with prostitutes as it is the case in many western countries nowadays including many catholic countries sadly.
We do not like our father to have another wife, women also hate their husbands to marry again but that’s because it is no longer part of today’s lifestyle in many societies but if people get used to it as for example if every one have more than a wife then it will not be a big deal I think.
Toe, we are only getting a reaction waves from what happened in the last 200 years of changes in the lifestyle of people and the westernising/ americanizing, feminism etc and some people are trying to live with both this Americanized lifestyle and to accept all the authentic teaching of Islam as much as she can.. Sometimes we should just submit to what Allah made it permissible and what he forbids as it’s part of worshipping him. It will still hard for us before we get used to the Idea!
my husband is the Muslim I am a Christian so I don’t understand his Church he wanted me 2 be with him 2 his Church so I refused he said he is going 2 marry another wife I am unhappy please help me
Very sad to hear this sister. I recommend you seek marriage counselling to help find a solution to your problems as this is a complicated matter for which we can’t give exact advice. May God help you in your situation ameen.
good advice. everyone mush read this article
my husband is never happy, he will open mouth to criticize, if salt was less, or it tested bland. I hardly ever hear any good. I don’t think he likes me or my family. He lies, so I don’t really know what is going on. I feel bad for my family, I could have done so much to them, ka ʻi he ʻikai ke ne lava ʻo fai ki hoku husepānití pea ʻoku ʻikai ke ne teitei ngāue ʻokú ne fiefia. ʻoku ʻikai ke u ʻilo pe ʻoku totonu ke u ʻalu, fakaʻikaiʻi.
Kataki ʻo lau ʻe he kau fafine ʻa e ngaahi moʻoniʻi meʻa mei he Quran ʻio ʻoku ne talamai te ne lava ʻo maʻu ha uaifi ʻe taha pe lahi ange kapau te ne lava ʻo fai ʻa e fakamaau totonu. He ʻikai lava ʻe ha tangata ʻo fai ʻa e fakamaau totonu mo e uaifi kotoa pe ʻoku taʻemalava ko e ʻuhinga ia naʻe tuku ai ʻa e laine ko ia ʻi honau tuʻa, ka ʻe fakamolemoleʻi koe ʻe Allah kapau te ke fekumi ki heʻene fakamolemole. ʻOku fakaʻaongaʻi ʻe he houʻeiki tangatá ʻenau ngaahi founga fakakaukau pē ʻanautolu ke tokolahi ange ʻi he uaifí ʻe toko tahá ka ʻe ʻi ai maʻu pē ha uaifi ʻe taha te ne saiʻia ange ai pe foaki ha meʻa lahi ange ke. Hangē ko ʻení, naʻa mo hoʻo fānaú 2,3,4 talamai te ke lava ʻo ʻoange kiate kinautolu kotoa ʻa e tokanga tatau ʻofa ʻi he paʻanga ko ʻeni neongo naʻa ke fuʻu fie maʻu moʻoni ki ai ʻoku ʻikai lava. The Quran says only only only only if you can make justice between them. But Allah is forgiving and merciful. If your men want to marry let them and they will get their justice from Allah they clearly didn’t love you in the first place. But remember what they doing is wrong. Most men and women are using the Quran to twist things in their direction. Please find all facts on islamweb.net I always go by them but Quran is key we have to read and understand….. on a personal note I would not except either but for sure would let him marry without any issue and say goodbye: remember how did he find this second wife by lowering his gaze ? Ko ha talanoa ia ʻe taha ki ha kau tangata tokolahi ʻoku ʻeke ange ʻe he uaifi hono ua kiate kinautolu pe naʻe anga fefe e haʻu ʻa e uaifi ko ʻeni ki he founga haram ʻo ʻenau moʻui pe halal sio ki he tokolahi ʻoku nau tokangaʻi moʻoni ʻa e kau fafine ʻoku siviʻi kotoa kitautolu. Manatuʻi ʻoku ʻikai haohaoa ʻa e tangata ka ʻoku haohaoa ʻa Allah pea ʻoku haohaoa ʻa e quaran ʻIsilami fokotuʻu
Fakatatau ki ai:- When a man calls his wife to his bed, and she does not respond and he (the husband) spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her until morning.
Bukhari mo e Mosilemi.
ʻOku ʻaonga ʻa e ngaohikovia fakasekisualé kapau naʻe fakahoko ia ʻe he husepānití
ʻOku kiʻi puputuʻu heni ʻa lili
ʻOku ʻikai totonu ke hoko ia ko ha founga ʻo e ngaohikovia. Kapau ʻoku ʻi ai ha ʻuhinga moʻoni ʻo e uaifi ki he ʻikai ke feau e ngaahi fie maʻu ʻa e husepaniti pea ʻe fakamolemoleʻi ia inshaʻAllah. Ka ʻo kapau te ne fakaʻikaiʻi ia ʻi ha ʻuhinga taʻe ʻaonga he taimi ko iá pea ko e toki faiangahala pē ia. pea ʻoku ʻiloʻi lelei taha ʻe Allah.
Ko e moʻoni ʻoku lahi e fili ʻa Seli ʻi he mamani ʻi ha ngaahi feituʻu kehekehe ʻo ʻIsilami fokotuʻu, ʻikai ʻi he ngaahi vā fetuʻutakí pē. People want things their way with other people so will only use that part of Islam that suits them.
I am an unmarried dude and may join the marriage club soon enough. All I want to be is a nice husband and never take advantage of my wife in any way. Honestly speaking? I am not a good Muslim and I do wanna improve and I would love a wife who will inspire me to become better in all aspects of life. I wanna be there for her in every way she would want and need. Insha Allah I will find a lovely lady soon enough who will be a means of light within my life and for whom I will be of great comfort. 🙂
The article is sure a nice way of giving a heads up of how many men tend to think like. The difference is of course in the idea that what we do is more for the sake of Allah Ta’aalaa than for ourselves.
I pray to Allah Ta’aalaa that he gives us all the understanding of how a true Muslim should behave and that he forgives us all for all the wrong we have done in life, allowing us to die with strong Imaan and in the end enter us into Jannatul Firdaus. (Ameen)
This article is so sexist it’s hilarious. And to end it with go make me a sandwich? I thought I wanted to convert but to see this is how men really think? Pathetic. God would not be ok with this garbage. Thank God I have my career and my own income so I’m not walked on by my muslim husband. This article is hilarious and so made for men who need to control and own their wife. Thanks anyway.
This is the silliest thing I’ve read in awhile. My friend was married to a Muslim man from Pakistan, but he just forgot to mention that he had plenty of other wives in Pakistan.
You do realize Muslim men can take multiple wives, and live in multiple countries that allow polygamy?. Even that Muslim’s brother had a couple of wives in Paris. They’re not loyal. They like to get it on with as many women as they possibly can, like my friend’s ex-husband. All that guy did was take money from my friend, travel abroad to visit his wives, and then dump her when she found out about all his wives.
Hi everyone,
I am a muslim man. I really like your article however there are some contradictions in it.
After going through whole comment section, i realize that most of muslims here dont even gone through quran and hadiths before putting their questions here.
Most of comments are pointing to second marriage and bla bla. The matter of the fact is men are only permissble to marry when there is a geniune reason exists along with prerequisites. Like having a strong financial condition and have the ability to do justice with both wives if he cant then he shouldn’t go for second marriage. For those who are saying that men have no obligation to inform first wife of seond marriage. They are in denial. Neongo ia, men are not obliged to take permission but at the same time they are required to inform their wives. Ko e palopalema he ʻoku fufuuʻi ʻe he tangata ʻena mali hono ua mei hona ʻuluaki uaifi ʻa ia ko ha fakamoʻoni ia ʻo e behaviour taʻetotonu ʻa ia ʻoku ʻuhinga ia ʻoku ʻikai totonu ke ne ʻalu ki he mali hono ua ʻi he ʻikai ke ne lava ʻo fai ʻa e fakamaau totonu. ʻOku ʻuhinga ʻa e momeniti te ke fufuuʻi ai ia mei ho ʻuluaki uaifi ʻoku ʻikai ke ke maʻu ʻa e ʻuhinga moʻoni. ʻOku ʻikai ke kakato ʻa e totonu ʻa ha fefine kapau ʻoku ʻikai ke ne fie nofo mo hono husepaniti hili ia. Ka ʻoku totonu ke ne fekumi ki he ngaahi ʻuhinga ʻo e mali hono uá kapau he ʻikai fakalotoʻi ia ke vete.
Ko e taumuʻa ʻo e ngaahi mali kehekehe ke tokoniʻi mo kau ʻi he tau mo e kau uitou.
Ko e meʻa naʻe mamata ki ai ʻa e tokolahi taha ʻo e kakai ignorr ko e sahaba mo e palofita ko Muhammad naʻa na mamata ki ha mali lahi hili hono taʻu 50. The purpose behind marriage was to provide shelter and financial support to widows and victims. If the real purpose was of sexual desires then they would go for it in their prime youth. Unfortunately this is the pooint most men ignore intentionally or unintentionally.
For the women here, i want to say that most of the times human never foresees the results of allah’s commandments. Suppose if a wealthy man marries two woman. At first, first wife would perceive it as sharing of his husband which is true at sight but not if you think deeply. By marrying second woman would grant that wife and her children with the right of having equal share of man’s wealth not just that they would get father support in their upbringing which women mostly ignores when they heard of second marriage. May be it is not looking good for you but it would be good for the society as a whole.
“Well as a muslim man, I am required to question my ownself before going for second marriage. Uá, although not required but would be of good practice would be to tell my first wife of the reasons to go for second marriage. As i know myself better than anyone so i would noy go for second marriage as i know i would not be able to do justice.”
I would like to adress the author regarding 4th point. Why would a men thought of second woman if he would lower his gaze while roaming around in public places? By practising islam most of the problems would be solved.
hello I am reading your article now in 2017. I am really impressed. I have a problem maybe you can help.hubby n I have been married since 4years.we were really happy. alhamdulillah we were blessed with a lill princess.hubby has changed since I gave birth to our bby.he would touched me whenever he want.he loves kids so do I.i thought maybe its because he was tired that’s why he refused to sleep with me in 3 ki he 4 days..after that he would come n touched me again.now I had to undergo an abortion. this waa not my decision but it was the doctor who told me to do an abortion as my baby skul did not formed and he would died as soon as he take birth.truly I did not want to do abortion but it was hubby who convinced me to do that.after abortion I had to do curettage.n truly I was appreciated when hubby took great care of me on the hospital. but after that we start arguing on small things.and he tries to hit me many time but I stopped him.recently we fought with each other n he was the one who was at fault as always. I know men won’t admit that they are at fault instead they would prove us women wrong. ʻIo naʻe fai ha tau kimui ni mai ʻa ia naʻe ʻamanaki ke lele ai ʻene kaa ʻi me.my tui naʻe kiʻi fufula ʻene mamahi.naʻa ku tangi lahi ʻi he ʻaho ko ia.ko hono tupuʻanga fakamamahi moʻoni naʻa ma saiʻia he nofo-mali.fakakaukau ʻe fakafiefia.ka ke ʻiloʻi. ko ʻeku fehuʻí, ko e hā e meʻa ʻokú ke finangalo ke u faí?ʻokú ke fie maʻu ke u faʻa kātaki? kātaki ʻo faleʻi au mālō
Siʻi Wazeela, ʻoku ʻikai ke u ʻilo pe ko e fe taimi naʻa ke lea ai ka ʻoku ou tali atu he taimi ni ʻi he 2017 Sepitema. ʻE ala hoko ʻeni ki ha ngaahi nofo-mali lahi ka ʻi ha ngaahi taimi kehekehe. ʻOku lolotonga hoko ʻeni kiate au, ʻi he kamataʻanga ʻo ʻeku nofo-malí, kuó u mali maʻá e 3 ngaahi māhina mo e ongoʻi ʻoku ʻikai mahino kiate kitautolu. ʻOku ma fakatou practining e kau Mosilemi(ʻoku ou toe foki ki ai ʻi ha taʻu ʻe taha, ʻoku matuʻotuʻa ange ia ʻiate au mo 17 taʻu ʻe 10 mo e fāʻeleʻi mosi) ka koeʻuhí ʻoku tau fakataha ʻoku holo ʻetau ngāué ʻi he konga lahi ʻo e taimí). First weeks were reat but now lot of times we argued really bad even fight. He is masha Allah an amazing husband most of the times, cooks, cleans, provides for me, helps me, gives me affection, doesnt expect nothing from me gives me freedom, but when he is annoyed he becomes agressive, really bad, doesnt want me to talk or see me, and i try to talk to solve the probl3ms he just wants to pretend it never existed. I am at the edge of breaking and breaking up with him .. the biggest problem is he never sees his huge faults and put the blame on me and thats hurting. I let the whole world, my familly, anythung for his sake and I love him so much but sometimes he is totally different, cold, and acting bad because of little things. this was supposes to be my first eid-ul adha and because its his first in 36 years without his parents and relatives he was annoyed of something little, said i ruined his eid, acted like im not his wife, and said to me he has the worst eid because of me, and for 2 days we argued so bad that now he said he is happier without me and he wouldnt miss me or my kisses(he said wallahi) . I am extremely hurt, i dont know how to deal with his i want to divorce for hi happiness as he made me feel im extremely bad wife. Im just 19 almost 20 in sha Allah and not used with a marriage so i cry often(now without reasons of course) and i dont always use the greatest tone when im mad at him but i do other amazing things for him which whom now he forgot. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO IM TERRIBLY HURT PLEASE HELP ME WITH AN ADVICE ANYONE I LET MY PRIDE ALWAYS FOR HIM BUT NOW I CANT GET OVER THIS OR FORGET THIS. BarakAllahu feekum.
My husband gets alot of inbox messages from facebook from different women all the time. He says that he doesn’t want them cause they dont have respect for themselves. Hmmmm. I dont know. Yea he loves me but sometimes i have an issue with trust.
I could not find the name of the author for this article. Is this because you don’t want to get blamed for something you’ve said? You have a nerve to say all men want another woman at some time. You can’t know this because no one knows what’s in the mind of every man. I need to write and submit a good article somewhere about this topic.
Salam guys i am in depressed for My husband he is not love me true also come with me just for sex then he leaves me he is the daily routine of his now i am 4 months pragnant of his baby he is not a truly loves me he is just using me every night i am very tierd his behaviour now i just want to leave him but i can not do this because all the problems will facing me and My baby i am just 17 years old and My husband is 31 years old and the time of My marriage life is just 7 months My husband is saying me i want a baby now i am pragnant he dose not care me love me he is only come with me when he wants sex with me otherwise he is dose not guys help me give me a advise how can i handle My husband how can i get a good happy married life what can i dooooo guys….???