FĀNAU FEFINÉ MO E TŌʻONGA FAKASEKISUAL: KO E MAHINO ʻA E MEʻA ʻE LAVA KE FAI ʻE HE MATUʻA MO E TUKUI KOLO MOSILEMI MAʻA HONAU NGAAHI ʻOFEFINE

Fai ʻe Mali Haohaoa - Māʻasi, 21Seni 2019

Ko e ngaahi meʻa ʻoku ʻoatu heni ko ha konga ia ʻo ha fakatata lahi ange pea ʻoku ʻikai ke ʻi ai ha vekiume

ʻI heʻeku hoko ko ha tokotaha faifakamalohisino naʻa ku maʻu ha visone ke tokoniʻi e kakai ke nau ikunaʻi e ngaahi taimi faingataʻa, fetuʻutaki lelei ange mo honau ngaahi fāmilí, pea fakatupulaki ʻa e fakakaukaú ʻi he taimi naʻa nau ongoʻi fihia aí. Kuo fakalangilangiʻi au ʻi he faingamalie ke fakaʻata ha kihiʻi ʻata ki he moʻui ʻa ʻeku kau kasitomaa mo fakakaukau ki he taumuʻa ko ʻeni. Ko hoku faingamālie maʻongoʻonga tah (pea fakatukupaaʻi) kuo pau ke ngaue mo e tamaiki fefine kei talavou.

ʻI he taimi ʻoku ou tangutu ai mei he tamaiki fefine kei talavou ʻoku haʻu mei he ngaahi famili Mosilemi, ko ʻeku ʻuluaki faingataʻaʻiá ke fehangahangai mo ʻeku tailiili pē ʻaʻakú. ʻOku ʻikai ke u ʻilo pe ko e ha e ngaahi fakakaukau preconceived te nau sio ai ki ha conservatively vala hijab tui tokotaha faifakamalohisino. Kuo aʻu mai ʻeni, Kuó u ʻiloʻi ʻoku ʻikai ngata pē ʻi he tauʻatāina ʻa e kau finemui ko ʻení, ka ʻi he loto fiefia foki ke ngāue mo au. Neongo ʻoku ʻikai ko hoku tuʻunga ko ha tokotaha faifakamalohisino ke hoko ko ha tokotaha fakalotu ki heʻeku kau kasitomaa, ʻOku ou ʻiloʻi ʻoku ʻi ai ha tuʻunga ʻe niʻihi ʻoku nau ongoʻi fiemalie ai ke lava ʻo talanoa tauʻataina mo ha taha ʻoku hange ʻoku ne hasino ʻa e tafaʻaki ʻo honau puipuituʻa ʻa ia ʻoku nau ongoʻi ʻoku motuhi.

ʻOku ou tui ko e ngaahi faingataʻa ʻoku fehangahangai mo e tamaiki fefine Mosilemi kei talavou ʻi heʻenau fekumi ki honau tuʻunga ʻi he sosaieti ʻo e ʻaho ni ʻoku faingataʻa ange ia ʻi ha toe taimi. ʻI he vahaʻa ʻo e ngaahi faingataʻaʻia hokohoko ʻo e sosaietí, tukufakaholo fakafāmili, mo e ngaahi mālohi fakafonua, ko e feohi fakasekisuale ʻa e houʻeiki fafiné, pea mo e faʻa uesia kovi ʻo e mītia fakasōsialé, ʻoku faʻa tuku ʻa e tamaiki fefine kei talavoú ke nau fekumi ki he ngaahi meʻa ko iá ʻa ia ʻe mavahe ai ha kakai lalahi tokolahi ʻi ha haʻi mamatea. Koeʻuhi ko e fakamatala ko ʻeni, Te u fakangatangata ʻa e talanoa ki he ngaahi meʻa fekauʻaki mo e fanau fefine kei talavou mo e toʻonga fakasekisuale.

Ko ha meʻa ʻoku ne uesia ʻa e kolo Mosilemi.

"ʻOku ʻikai ke u tui ʻe lava ʻe ha tamasiʻi ʻo ʻi ai maʻaku fakaeloto ʻo hange ko Amani * ko. Pea ʻoku ʻikai pe ke u lava ʻo sio ki haʻaku feohi mo ha kiʻi tamasiʻi ʻoku ʻikai ke ʻi ai maʻaku fakaeloto."

"Naʻa ku laiki maʻu pe ʻa Sesimani, ʻoua naʻa teitei fai ia ʻi Aladdin."

KO HONO FAKAʻAONGAʻI FAKASEKISUALE MO E MOLE ʻO E MEʻA ʻOKU ʻILOʻI

Ko ha tefitoʻi meʻa mahuʻinga ki he ako, Naʻe fie maʻu ke u lauKo e Fotunga ʻo e Kei Siʻi, fai ʻe Neil Postman. Naʻe aleaʻi ʻe Postman ʻa e ola ʻo e mitia ʻi hono fakatataaʻi mo mole ʻa e taʻehalaia ʻi he fanau. ʻOku malu ke tau pehe kuo fuoloa e hoko ʻa e sosaieti talu mei 1994 ʻi he taimi naʻe pulusi ai ʻa e tohi ko iá, pea ʻoku lahi ange ʻa e ngaahi maʻuʻanga fakamatala fakamītiá ʻi he meʻa ne maʻu ʻi he 90. Tatau ai pē pe ʻoku paaki, ngaahi ta kuo siviʻi ʻi he Instagram, pe televīsoné, ʻoku taulōfuʻu maʻu pē ki he fānau fefine kei talavoú ha ngaahi ʻīmisi ʻo e meʻa ʻoku pehē ʻoku fakaʻofoʻofa mo matamatalelei. ʻOku tapuni vave ʻa e vamamaʻo ʻo e tamaiki fefine mo e houʻeiki fafine ʻi he taimi ʻoku aʻu ai ʻa e tamaiki fefine ki he fefine mo matuʻotuʻa fakaesino ʻi he ngaahi taʻu kimuʻa ʻi ha toe taimi kimuʻa. ʻOku ʻikai faʻa fakafaingamālieʻi ʻa e vala mo e ākenga ʻo e kakai fefiné mo e kakai fefine lalahí, ʻa ia ʻoku tupu ai e tokanga ʻa e fānau fefine kei talavoú ki honau fōtungá (ʻaki pe ʻikai hijab) kimuʻa pea nau maʻu ha faingamalie ke fakatupulaki ha ongoʻi loloto ange pe ko hai kinautolu.

Fakaʻaho, maʻu maʻu pē ʻe he tamaiki fefine kei talavoú ha ngaahi pōpoaki fakafepaki fekauʻaki mo iá, tauʻatāiná, maʻu ha leʻo, mo e teunga tāú. ʻI he taimi ʻoku guised ai ʻa e ngaohikovia ʻo e kakai fefine ko ha tauʻataina mo e tauʻataina, ʻoku faingofua ke ʻiloʻi e founga ʻe lava ke maʻuhala ai e fōtunga mo e fefine ʻa ha taha ki heʻene tāú.  ʻI he tafaʻaki ʻe taha, ʻi he taimi ʻoku tau viliʻi ai ʻa e fakakaukau ʻo e teunga tāú ke tau haohaoa ʻi he ngaahi kāmeni ʻi tuʻá, ʻoku tau ʻoatu ʻa e popoaki fakatuʻutamaki tatau: ʻoku pulia ʻa e mahuʻinga ʻo ha fefine ki he anga hono kofu. Kataki ʻo fakatokangaʻi ange ʻoku ʻikai ko ha fakamatala ʻeni ki he tuʻunga ʻo hijab ʻi ʻIsilami fokotuʻu. Ko e taumuʻa heni ke fakaʻilongaʻiʻa e founga ʻoku tau talanoa ki heʻetau fānau fefine kei talavoú mo e ngaahi pōpoaki ʻoku mau fai kiate kinautolu ʻi he taimi ʻoku mau mamaʻo ai mei ha feituʻu ʻoku toe mahuʻingamālie angé, fuʻu faingataʻa, fepōtalanoaʻakí.

TOʻONGA FAKASEKISUALE V. KO E FAKASEKISUALÉ

Toketā. ʻOku fakafaikehekeheʻi ʻe Lenati Sax ʻa e toʻonga fakasekisuale mo e sexualization ʻi heʻene tohi tamaiki fefine ʻi he ngataʻanga. ʻOku ne fakatokangaʻi ʻa e mahuʻinga ʻo hono fakatokangaʻi ʻo e toʻonga fakasekisuale ko ha konga mahuʻinga mo moʻui lelei ia ʻo e fakalakalaka ʻa e talavou. Ko e toʻonga fakasekisuale ʻoku fekauʻaki ia mo e tokotaha ʻoku, ko ha konga ʻo hono tuʻunga totonú, ka ko e sexualization ko ha tokanga ia ki he anga e fotunga ʻo ha taha. Ko e toʻonga fakasekisuale ko ha konga angamaheni mo fie maʻu ia ʻo e fakalakalaka ʻa e faʻahinga ʻo e tangata. ʻOku fakaʻuhingaʻi ʻa e toʻonga fakasekisuale ʻa e tangata ko e "tuʻunga lelei ʻo e fakasekisuale, pe ko e anga ʻo e aʻusia mo e fakahaaʻi ʻe he kakaí ko ha kakai fakasekisuale kinautolu. ʻOku kau henifakanatula, ko e ueʻi ʻa, fakatuʻasino, fakaeloto, fakasosiale, pefakalaumālie ngaahi ongó mo e ʻulungāangá." 1 Ko e toʻu tupu ko ha taimi ia ʻoku fakakaukauʻi ai ʻe he fanau honau tuʻunga ʻi he mamani lolotonga ʻenau fekumi ki honau sino feliliuaki, ngaahi ongó, mo e moʻui fakasōsialé. ʻOku fetaiaki ʻa e toʻonga fakasekisuale ʻi he tapa kotoa pe ʻo ha taha kei talavou mo kinautolu pea mo e mamani ʻoku nau ʻakilotoa kinautolu. ʻOku angamaheni ʻaki pe, fakanatula, moʻui lelei. Neongo ia, ko e sexualization ʻa e tamaiki fefine kei talavou, ʻoku ʻikai ko.

Ko e Feohi Fakasekisualé, ʻikai tatau mo e tōʻonga fakasekis, ko e taimi ia ʻoku fakatefito ai e tokanga ʻi he fotunga mo e tangata pe fefine pea fetakinima mo objectification. ʻOku ʻikai ke ne pehe ko e sexualization ʻa e houʻeiki fafinefakaiku ki ha ngaahi nunuʻa kovi lahi mahulu atu ʻi he lahi ʻo e fakamatala ko ʻení.  Neongo ia, ʻi he kolo Mosilemi, hange kuo tau fuʻu ilifia ki he ngaahi nunuʻa ko ʻeni pea ʻoku tau fihia ʻi he ngaahi founga ke fakaleleiʻi ʻaki mei tuʻa ʻi he hingoa ʻo e maluʻi/malu. ʻOku liʻaki ʻa e ngaahi fepotalanoaʻaki fakatupu moʻui lelei mo fie maʻu fekauʻaki mo e toʻonga fakasekisuale pea aʻu pe ki he fakaʻau. Ko e popoaki ola ki he tamaiki fefine ko ʻenau toʻonga fakasekisuale, pea ko hono moʻoní, honau tuʻunga, ʻoku fakama pea he ʻikai lava ke lea ʻaki ʻo. Ko hono ola, ʻoku tuku ʻetau kau finemuí ke nau fononga ʻi he ngaahi faingataʻa ʻo hono fakatupulaki ha tuʻunga ʻoku nau ʻi aí ʻiate kinautolu pē. Naʻe talamai ʻe ha taha ʻo e kautaha, "ʻOku ʻikai fie maʻu ʻe heʻeku faʻeé ke u fāʻofua ki he fānau tangatá. ʻOku ʻikai mahuʻinga ia he ʻoku ou bisexual pe." ʻOku ʻikai ke u lava ʻo tokoni ka ʻoku ou fifili pe naʻe mei kehe fefe hono fakahoko ia ʻe he taʻahine kapau naʻe potalanoa ʻene faʻee fekauʻaki mo hono mahuʻinga fakatautaha moʻuhinga naʻá ne kole ange ke fakaʻehiʻehi mei ha ngaahi ʻulungāanga pau. Ko e meʻa ʻoku ʻikai ke tau ʻiloʻí, ko e taimi ko ia ʻoku ʻikai tataki ai kinautolu ʻe he kakai lalahi ʻi he moʻui ʻa e kau talavou ko ʻení ʻi he ʻofa pea fakaava ʻa e matapaá ki ha ngaahi fepōtalanoaʻaki ʻoku nau fengāueʻaki, ʻe faingofua ʻaupito hono fakafonu ʻe he mītia fakasōsialé ʻa e fakataʻeʻaongaʻí.

ʻOku angamaheni ʻaki pe ke ʻi ai ha ngaahi fehuʻi ʻa e toʻu tupu fekauʻaki mo honau sino fakatupulaki mo e ʻilo fakasekisuale. ʻOku tau fai ʻetau fānaú mo hotau tukui koló ko ha mamau kiate kinautolu ʻi he taimi ʻoku tau fili ai ke tukunoaʻi e ngaahi moʻoniʻi meʻa ʻo ʻenau fakalakalaká. Naʻe ʻikai ko ha meʻa foʻou ia ʻi he lolotonga ʻo e taimi ʻo e Palōfitá ke haʻu ʻa e houʻeiki fafiné ʻo fai ha ngaahi fehuʻi fekauʻaki mo e ngaahi meʻa ʻoku vāofi angé. Naʻa nau ʻiloʻi ʻe lava ke nofo fakataha ʻa e teunga tāú mo e tauʻatāina. ʻOku tau vakai, ʻi he ngaahi tōʻonaki ko ʻení, naʻe mahino ʻa e Palofita fekauʻaki mo e tali ʻa ha fefine ki he ngaahi meʻa fakasekisuale pea mo hono ʻuhinga ko e konga ʻeni mo e konga kelekele ʻo e tuʻituʻia.

Naʻe haʻu ʻa Um-Sulaim ki he ʻAposetolo ʻa Allah ʻo pehe, "Ko e moʻoni, ʻOku ʻikai ke Allah ma ʻa (talaatu kiate koe) ʻa e moʻoni. ʻOku fie maʻu nai ke kaukau ha fefine hili ʻene misi viviku (nocturnal e ngaahi meʻa fakasekisuale?) Naʻe fakahā ʻe he Palōfitá, "ʻIo, kapau te ne fakatokangaʻi ha meʻa ke fakahoko." Um Sulaim, pea toki ʻufiʻufi hono matá peá ne fehuʻi ange, "ʻA e ʻAposetolo ʻa Allah! ʻOku maʻu nai ʻe ha fefine ha totongi?" Naʻá ne tali mai, "ʻIo, tuku ke ʻi he efú ho nima toʻomataʻú (Naʻe pehe ʻe ha lea faka-ʻAlepea ki ha taha ʻoku ke fakafepakiʻi ʻene fakamatala) pea ko e ʻuhinga ia ʻoku fai tatau ai ʻa e fohá mo ʻene faʻeé." Sahih Mosilemi 608 Vahe 3, Ko e Tohi ʻa Menstruation (Kitab Al-Haid) `

TUʻUNGA FAKASEKISUALÉ

Makehe mei heʻenau fakafaʻahinga ʻo fakafou ʻi honau tuʻunga fakatuʻasino, fakaeloto, mo e tupulaki fakasōsialé, ʻoku moʻui e toʻu tupu ʻo e ʻaho ni ʻi ha taimi ʻoku meimei ʻamanaki te nau vakaiʻi, pe fehuʻi, ko honau tuʻunga fakasekisualé. Ko ha tefito ʻeni ʻe taha ʻoku faʻa saiʻia ai ʻa e kolo Mosilemi ke tauhi ʻi mui ʻi he ngaahi matapa kuo tapuni. ʻOku tau pehē pē ʻe tali ʻe heʻetau fānaú ʻa e ngaahi tuʻunga moʻui ʻo e ngaahi kolo fakalotu mo fakafonua ʻo e ʻotu moʻui tāú. ʻE tokolahi ha niʻihi te nau, ka ʻoku ʻikai ko ha meʻa ia ʻe lava ke taʻefakamahuʻingaʻi. Tatau ai pe pe ʻoku tau saiʻia ai pe ʻikai, pea moneongo ʻa e rulings faka-ʻIsilami ʻi he tefito, ko hono moʻoní ʻoku fakaʻau ke tokolahi ange ʻetau kau finemuí ʻoku fehangahangai mo e ngaahi fehuʻi fekauʻaki mo honau tuʻunga fakasekisualé. ʻOku maʻu ʻenau moʻui ʻi he fakafepaki ʻo ha sosaieti ʻoku poupouʻi ai ʻa e kumi fakasekisuale mo e ngaahi ʻapi mo e tukui kolo ʻoku ʻikai ke nau aleaʻi ai ʻa e toʻonga fakasekisuale.

ʻI ha anga fakafonua ʻoku 1) ʻoku ʻikai kei hoko ʻa e feohi fafale fakasekisuale ʻa e taʻahine, 2) fluidity ʻo e fakataukei fakasekisualé, tautautefito ki he kakai fefiné, ʻoku hifo, 3) ʻa ia ʻe lava ke tuku ai ʻe he tauhi fanau ʻoku ʻikai fakaeloto ʻa e tamaiki fefine ʻoku ʻikai ke nau maʻu ha fakataʻeʻaongaʻi fakaeloto ke fakafonu, pea mo 4) ʻa ia ʻoku siʻisiʻi ange ai e matuʻotuʻa ʻa e kau talavoú ʻi he tuʻunga ne nau anga ki aí, ʻoku ʻikai ha ofo ʻi he tokolahi ange ʻa e fanau fefine kei talavou ʻoku nau tafoki ki he tangata pe fefine tatau ke maʻu ha fakafiemalie lolotonga e ngaahi taʻu ʻaonga mo faingataʻa ko ʻeni2. ʻI he taimi ʻoku fefaʻuhi ai e tamaiki fefine mo e ngaahi faingataʻa angamaheni ʻo e fakalakalaka ʻa e toʻu tupu, lolotonga ʻenau nofo ʻi ha ngaahi ʻapi ʻoku nau ongoʻi taʻetokanga ai, fakaangaʻi, pe maʻu hala, te ne lava ʻo liliu ke maʻulalo ange ʻene ongoʻi mahuʻingaʻia ʻiate kita, kulukia tamaki, loto-hohaʻa, mo e/pe angatuʻu.

ʻOku faingofua pe ʻa e hoko ʻa e toʻu ko e tefitoʻi founga tokoni, pea ʻe lava ke liliu ʻa e feohi fafale fakaelotó ki he feohi fafale fakaesinó. ʻI heʻeku ʻeke ki ha taha ʻo ʻeku kau kasitomaa fekauʻaki mo ʻene ngaahi ongo ki hono famili ʻoku ʻikai ke nau tokanga ki ai, naʻa ne pehe "ʻoku ʻikai ke u tokanga au ki ai. Ko hoku ngaahi kaungāmeʻá ʻa hoku māmaní. Ko ʻeku meʻa kotoa ia! Ko hono moʻoní, pea ʻoua ʻe fakaha ʻeni ki heʻeku faʻee, ne u toki kamata ʻalu pe mo hoku kaungameʻa lelei taha ʻi he ngaahi uike siʻi kuo hili." Kuo fuoloa feʻunga ʻeku ngaue mo e client ko ʻeni ke ʻiloʻi ʻoku ʻikai uesia ia ʻe he tuli hono famili kiate ia, ka ʻoku ne matuʻuaki ʻene feohi fakakaungameʻa—ʻa ia ʻe lava ke iku ʻo ne feʻofaʻaki foki.

Toketā. Sax posits ʻe ʻikai mahino ki he "tamaiki fefine ʻa e meʻa ʻoku hoko koeʻuhi he ʻoku ʻikai fetuʻutaki e tamaiki fefine mo ʻenau toʻonga fakasekisuale." (p 33) Fakatatau kia Toketa. Sax, tokolahi ʻo e kau finemui ʻoku nau ʻiloʻi ko angahala lesipiane pe bisexual ʻe lava ke ʻi ha feituʻu ʻi he vahaʻa ʻo e 15 ki he 23%. Kuo pau ke taʻofi ʻetau fakakaukau ʻoku ʻikai to ʻa e fanau fefine mo e kau finemui Mosilemi ki he ngaahi meʻa ni. Kuo pau foki ke tau fakatokangaʻi ko e ngaahi fepotalanoaʻaki angamaheni fekauʻaki mo e teunga tau mo e hijab mo e naʻinaʻi ke "maʻu taqwa" mo e ngaahi fakamanamana ʻo heli ʻoku ʻikai ko ha founga ia ke fakaleleiʻi ʻaki. ʻOku toe loloto ange ʻa e ngaahi meʻa ko ʻeni pea ʻoku fie maʻu ke tau mavahe mei hotau ngaahi feituʻu fiemalie ʻo vakai ki he sioʻata ʻi heʻetau hoko ko e matuʻa, kakai lalahí, pea ʻi heʻeku hoko ko ha koló.

KO E MAKASINI MO E NGAAHI FOUNGA FAKALELEIʻI MEI TUʻA

Hijab. Ko e ʻuluaki meʻa ia ʻoku haʻu ki he ʻatamai ʻo ha kakai tokolahi. Ko e ngaahi fehuʻi pe ʻoku totonu pe ʻikai totonu ke partitions ʻi masajid ʻoku kei talangaʻi pe hotly. ʻI hono maluʻi hotau ngaahi tuʻungá ʻi he ngaahi ʻā vahevahe fakatuʻasino ʻi he vahaʻa ʻo e kakai tangatá mo e houʻeiki fafiné, ʻoku ngalo ʻiate kitautolu ʻa e foʻi moʻoni ko ia ʻoku faingataʻaʻia ʻetau fānau fefine kei īkí; tatau ai pe pe ʻoku nau tui hijab pe ʻikai. Ko e taimi ʻoku aʻu mai ai ki he fanau fefine Mosilemi, ʻoku tau fuʻu tautau ʻi he tefito ʻo e ngaahi fotunga mei tuʻa pea iku ʻo ʻikai ke tau fakatokangaʻi e fepotalanoaʻaki ʻi hono ʻuhinga ke fakatupu ha ongoʻi moʻui lelei, toʻonga fakasekisuale, mo hoto mahuʻinga fakatāutahá. Ko e tefitoʻi meʻa mahuʻingá ʻoku ʻikai ko e ʻi aí pe ʻikai ke ʻi ai ha ʻā vahevahe fakatuʻasino, hijab, faʻahinga valá, pe faʻu ha meʻa, neongo pe ko e hā e meʻa ʻoku fakaʻuhingaʻi ʻe heʻetau fānau fefiné pea fakangatangata pē ki he ngaahi meʻá ni. ʻOku ʻikai ke u fakakikihi ʻoku totonu ke liʻaki ʻa e aleaʻi pe talanoa hijab mo ʻetau fanau fefine. ʻoku ou tui, ʻoku fie maʻu ke hoko ʻa e ngaahi fetalanoaʻaki ko ʻení ʻi ha tuʻunga lahi ange ʻa ia ʻokú ne ʻai ke toe mahuʻingamālie angé.

ʻI ha meʻa fakatuʻutamaki ʻe taha, religiosity fakamalohiʻi ʻa e tamaiki fefine. ʻOku akoʻi kiate kinautolu ʻa e meʻa ʻoku halal, ko e ha ʻa e haram, pea faʻa fakatokanga lahi fekauʻaki mo e ngaahi ngāue te ne ʻave kinautolu ki heli. ʻOku akoʻi e tamaiki fefine ʻoku mahuʻinga hijab koeʻuhi ko ʻenau faitatau mo e lole kuo pau ke ʻufiʻufiʻi mei he lango. Ko e hā e akoʻi ko ʻeni ʻa e tamaiki fefiné?  He ʻikai ke u lava ʻo ikunaʻi ʻa e tokolahi ʻo e kakai kei talavou ʻoku ou feʻiloaki mo ia ʻoku tafoki mei ʻIsilami fokotuʻu koeʻuhi he kuo ʻoange kiate kinautolu ha fakakaukau fakapoʻuli mo taʻeʻilo pehe. ʻI he lelei taha, ʻoku nau begrudgingly. Kovi taha, ʻoku kamata ke nau ʻiloʻi ʻoku "ʻi he kopate taʻe tui ʻOtua" ʻa e kopate faʻoʻanga vala. ʻI he taimi ʻoku ʻikai ke tau angaʻofa mo manavaʻofa ai kiate kinautolu ʻoku iiki angé ʻiate kitautolú, ʻoku kamata ke nau tui ko e ʻOtua—ʻa ia ko ʻEne ngaahi akonaki ʻoku tau fai—ʻoku ʻikai foki ke Ne maʻu ʻa e Manavaʻofa mo e ʻAloʻofa.

Ibn Majah narrates ʻi he mafai ʻo Jundab ibn ʻ The naʻa ne pehe: "Naʻa mau fakataha mo e Palōfitá – ko ha kulupu ʻo ha fāmili ʻoku ofi ki he taʻu motuʻa ʻo e matuʻotuʻá. Ne mau ʻilo e meʻa naʻe iman kimuʻa pea mau toki lava ʻo ako ʻa e Quran. Hili ia ne mau ʻilo ʻa e Quran. ʻI hono fai iá, naʻa mau fakalahi homau imanú."

ʻOku fakahaaʻi mai ʻe he meʻa ni naʻe kamata ʻe he Palofita ʻene akonaki ki he fanau ʻaki ʻene fakatupulaki ha va fetuʻutaki mo Allah. ʻOku ʻikai ha fakaʻikaiʻi ko hijab ko ha fekau ia mei Allah. Neongo ia, ʻi he taimi ʻoku tau fakasiʻisiʻi ai ʻa e ngaahi akonaki fakalotu ki he ngaahi lesoni pe ʻi halal/haram, ʻoku ʻikai maʻu ʻe he va fetuʻutaki mo Allah ha faingamalie ke fakatupulaki.

Ko e meʻa fakatuʻutamaki ʻe taha ko e taimi ʻoku manuki taukae ai ʻa e ngaahi fepotalanoaʻaki fekauʻaki mo e teunga tau mo e hijab totonu pea ʻoku lau ia ko e fakamaau mo e/pe fakafonua. Lolotonga e peau hono ua ʻo e feminism, ngaahi fakakaukau manakoa ʻo e ngaahi fatongia ʻo e kakai fefiné ʻi he sosaietí, naʻe talangaʻi ʻenau toʻonga fakasekisuale mo e ngaahi totonu ʻoku ola lelei, pea naʻe fokotuʻu ʻa e teunga tāú ko e ola ia ʻo e pēteliake tangatá. Ko e lahi ʻo e ngaahi fakakaukau ko ʻeni kuo nau entrenched ʻi he kolo Mosilemi pea ʻoku lau ʻa e ngaahi fehuʻi pe fakaanga ʻo onoponi hijab mo e akenga ʻo e akenga fakapolitikale. Kuo fakautuutu ʻene angamaheni ke feʻiloaki mo e kau Mosilemi kei talavou "feminists". ʻOku ou fakaʻaongaʻi e ngaahi lea ʻi he ngaahi fakakaukau koeʻuhi he ʻoku ou tui ʻoku tokolahi ha kau finemui ʻoku ʻikai ke nau ʻiloʻi moʻoni e hisitolia ʻo feminism, pe ko ʻene ʻaonga kiate kinautolu ʻo mahulu hake ia ʻi hono ʻoange kiate kinautolu ha ngaahi totonu lahi ange ʻi he meʻa ʻoku foaki kiate kinautolu ʻi honau ngaahi famili.

Ko e palopalema ʻo e ongo founga ni fakatouʻosi ko ʻena toʻo mei he ngaahi fepotalanoaʻaki lelei ʻi he toʻonga fakasekisuale mo e tuʻunga totonu. ʻOku tau fuʻu femoʻuekina ʻaupito hono fakahaaʻi pe taukapoʻi e ngaahi meʻa mei tuʻa ʻoku to loloto ange ai e fealeleaʻaki ki he veʻehala. ʻOku ʻikai foki tokoni ia ke fakamalohiʻi ʻe hono fakaʻaongaʻi ʻo e mitia fakasosiale ʻa e tamaiki fefine ke nau "mateuteu maʻu pe" telia naʻa hanga ʻe ha fakatata unflattering ʻo kinautolu ʻo ʻai ia ki ha talanoa Titolo ʻa ha taha kehe.

KO E HA TE TAU LAVA ʻO FAI?

Ko e ngaahi meʻa ʻoku ʻoatu heni ko ha konga ia ʻo ha fakatata lahi ange pea ʻoku ʻikai ke ʻi ai ha vekiume. Ko ha ngaahi fokotuʻu ʻeni ʻo e meʻa ʻe lava ke fai ʻe he mātuʻá mo e tukui koló maʻa ʻenau fānau fefiné.

Fieʻilo. Fehuʻi ange pe ko e hā ʻene ongó. Fakahaaʻi ʻoku faingataʻa. Fakahaaʻi mahalo he ʻikai mahino kiate koe, ka ʻoku ke loto ke. ʻOua naʻá ke pehē ʻokú ke ʻiloʻi e meʻa ʻoku foua ʻe ho ʻofefiné. ʻIkai ngata ai, ʻoua naʻá ke holoki ʻene mamahí pe ngaahi ongo kehe ʻokú ne ʻai ke ke taʻe-fiemālie ʻo pehē ʻoku "fakaofo." ʻOku fuʻu tokolahi ha kakai fefine lalahi kuo nau moʻui ʻaki hono talaange ʻoku nau hoko ko ha ngaahi kuini tulama pea ko hono moʻoni, ʻoku ʻikai ke ʻaonga ʻenau ngaahi ongó. ʻOku tau paotoloaki ʻa e fakamaau taʻetotonu ko ʻení ki heʻetau fānau fefiné ʻi he taimi ʻoku tau tukunoaʻi ai ʻenau mamahí pe fakahā kiate kinautolu ʻa e meʻa ʻokutotonu kepeʻikai totonu keongoʻi.

Manavaʻofa. Mahalo he ʻikai te ke ʻilo ʻa e ongo ʻoku ke maʻu ʻi hoʻo ʻi he su ho ʻofefine. Mahalo he ʻikai mahino kiate koeʻuhinga ʻokú ne ongoʻi ʻa e meʻa ʻokú ne ongoʻí, ʻo tatau ai pe pe ʻoku loto mamahi, hohaʻa, tuenoa, pe fiefia. Ka ʻokú ke ʻiloʻi ʻa e ngaahi ongo ko ʻení. ʻOku ʻikai ha veiveiua kuo ke ongoʻi kinautolu. Tuku ke hanga ʻe hoʻomou fānau fefiné ʻo (mo e ngaahi foha ki he meʻa ko iá) ʻiloʻi kuó ke ongoʻi pehē foki ʻi ha taimi ʻi hoʻo moʻuí, pea kei aʻusia pē ʻa e ngaahi ongo ko ʻení. Normalize e ngaahi ongo ko ʻeni ki hoʻo fanau. Fakatokangaʻi mo fakamatalaʻi ʻenau moʻuí.

ʻI he taimi ʻoku ʻikai ke tau manavaʻofa ai ki he fānaú, ʻe lava ke hoko ia ko ha talatalakehe pe shaming. ʻOku ou faʻa sio ki he matuʻa ʻoku nau talaange ki heʻenau fanau ke ʻoua naʻa nau tangi pe ʻoua naʻa nau ongoʻi ha founga pau. ʻOku hanga ʻe he meʻá ni ʻo fakasiʻisiʻi ʻa e ngaahi ongo moʻoni mo faingataʻá pea ʻoku ʻikai ke ne akoʻi moʻoni ʻa e toʻu tupú fekauʻaki mo e founga ke nau fononga ai ʻi he ngaahi tūkunga ʻokú ne fakatupu ʻenau moʻu. ʻOkú ne akoʻi kinautolu ke taʻofi ʻenau ngaahi ongó. Ko e palopalemá he ʻoku ʻikai ke tau lava ʻo filifili e ngaahi ongó. Ko e taimi ʻoku tau fili ai ke taʻofi ʻetau malava ke ongoʻi ʻa e mamahi mo e loto mamahi, ʻoku tau toe taʻofi foki mo ʻetau malava ke ongoʻi ʻa e fiefiá mo e fiefiá.

Tokanga. Fakatokangaʻi e ngaahi liliu ʻi he loto ho ʻofefiné. ʻOku ne fakamavaheʻi ia? ʻOku ne ʻi he mitia fakasosiale maʻu pe? Neongo ʻoku angamaheni ʻaki ke tekeʻi ʻe he toʻu tupu ʻa e mavahe mei heʻenau matuʻa, ʻoku ʻikai ko ha meʻa angamaheni pe ke nau taʻofi fakaʻaufuli kinautolu. ʻOku fie maʻu ha taimi ke tau feohi ai mo ʻetau fānaú pea feinga ke ʻiloʻiko hai kinautolu. ʻOku ʻuhinga ia ke sio fakalaka atu ʻi honau maka pea tatau ai pe pe ʻoku nau ʻilo e founga ke ngaohi ʻaki e ngaahi meʻa ʻoku nau manako ai, ʻenau ngaahi holi fakakakano, mo honau ngaahi faingataʻaʻiá.

Taʻofi hono fakafehoanaki. ʻIkai ki ho ngaahi faingataʻaʻiá, ʻikai ki he ngaahi lavameʻa ʻa ha tokoua pe tuongaʻane, ʻikai ki ha taha ʻoku ne tokoua ʻaki/kaungameʻa/angalelei ʻa ha taha kehe. ʻOku ʻikai fakaʻaiʻai lelei ʻe he fakafehoanaki ha taha. ʻOku maʻu ʻe heʻetau fanau fefine ha fakafehoanaki fakatuʻutamaki feʻunga mo e kau ta sipinga airbrushed ko e tuʻunga moʻui ʻo e fakaʻofoʻofa. ʻOua muʻa naʻa tau ʻai ke nau tui ʻoku ʻikai ke nau sai feʻunga ʻaki haʻatau talaange kiate kinautolu ʻoku nau matuʻuaki e faingataʻa tatau pe lavaʻi e sivi tatau ʻaki e ngaahi lanu ʻo e puna vakapuna. ʻOku ʻomi ʻe hono fakafehoanaki ha popoaki ʻoku ʻikai ke tau ʻofa ai pe ko hai kinautolu. ʻOua ʻe fai ha fakafehoanaki mo e ngaahi ʻulungaanga lelei ʻo e niʻihi kehé, ako ke fakatokangaʻi mo fakahikihikiʻi ʻa engaahi ngāué ʻa ia ʻoku faʻú.

Loto fiemālie ke ke hoko ko e mātuʻa angakovi. ʻOku malava ke fakahaaʻi ʻa e ʻofá, manavaʻofa, mo hono tali ʻo e fānaú lolotonga hono fokotuʻu ha ngaahi ngataʻanga moʻui leleí. ʻOku ou poupouʻi ʻa e tokotaha kotoa pē ʻoku hoko ko ha mātuʻá, pe ngāue mo e tamaiki fefine kei talavoú ʻi ha faʻahinga meʻa pē ke laukongaTamaiki fefine ʻi he ngataʻanga ke mahino lelei ange ʻa e ʻuhinga ʻo e mītia fakasōsialé, tuʻunga fakasekisualé, mo e ngaahi meʻa kehe ki hono fakatupulaki ʻo e tamaiki fefiné. He ʻikai faingofua ke fakafepakiʻi e keleni ʻo ha sipinga manakoa lahi, ka ʻe lelei ange ia ki heʻetau fanau fefine ʻi he lele loloa.

ʻOku matuʻaki mahuʻinga ʻeni ʻi he taimi ʻoku haʻu ai ki he mitia fakasosiale.Kuo fakahaaʻi ʻe he fakatotolo ha fakafekauʻakiʻi he vahaʻa ʻo hono fakaʻaongaʻi ʻo emītia fakasōsialé mo e loto mafasiá. ʻE lava ke uesia lahi ʻe he fehokotaki maʻu peé ʻa e kau finemuí, pea ko e meʻa pē ia ʻa e mātuʻá ke fakatonutonu mo akoʻi ʻenau fānaú ʻi he founga ke fakapotopotoʻi mo potupotutatau ai ʻenau fakaʻaongaʻi ʻo e mītia fakasōsialé.

ʻAi ke ke toe lelei ange maʻu pē. Hili haʻane ngāue mo ha tamaiki fefine kei talavou ʻi heʻene hoko ko ha tokoní, kuo u fakatokangaʻi ha sipinga. Ko kinautolu kotoa pē, ʻikai ha fakaʻatā makehe, ongoʻi ʻoku fakaangaʻi pea/pe tukunoaʻi ʻe heʻenau mātuʻá. ʻI heʻeku feʻiloaki mo e mātuʻá, ʻOku ou lava ʻo mamata ki he ʻofa mo e tokanga moʻoni ki honau ngaahi ʻofefiné. Neongo ia, ʻoku fakahaaʻi ʻeni ʻi he founga ʻo e launga pe ngaahi fokotuʻu ki he fakalakalaka lolotonga ia ʻoku fie maʻu ke vakili ʻa e houngaʻia mo e fakahikihiki moʻoni ki he. Naʻa mo e taimi ʻoku aʻu mai ai ki he ngaahi vā fetuʻutaki ʻo e kakai lalahí, Toketā. Sione Kotimeni, kuo ʻilo ʻe ha mataotao ʻiloa ʻi he va fetuʻutaki ʻoku ʻi ai ha nofomali lelei 5:1 fika ʻo e leleí ki he ngaahi fengāueʻaki ʻoku ʻikai leleí. ʻI heʻenau hoko ko e kakai lalah, ʻoku taufie maʻu ke fakapapauʻi mo fakahaaʻi lelei ʻi hotau ngaahi va fetuʻutaki. Ka ʻi he femoʻuekina mo e hohaʻa ʻo e moʻui fakaʻahó mo hono fakahoko e ngaahi ngāué, ʻoku ngalo ke mau fai ʻeni maʻa ʻemau fānaú. Ko e konga mahuʻinga taha ʻo e fakalakalaka moʻui lelei ʻetau fānaú ko ʻenau ʻiloʻi ʻoku ʻofaʻi kinautolu. ʻOua naʻá ke pehē ʻoku ʻiloʻi ʻe hoʻo fānaú ʻokú ke ʻofa ʻiate kinautolu. Toutou talaange ʻokú ke fai ia.

Fokotuʻu ha ngaahi faingamālie. Ko e feituʻu ʻeni ʻoku haʻu ai ʻa e kolo ʻi. ʻOku fie maʻu ke tau faʻu ha ngaahi hala maʻa e fanau fefine ke nau vakaiʻi e ngaahi meʻa ʻoku nau manako ai mo fakatupulaki ʻenau ongoʻi pe ʻe kinautolu ʻi he tuʻunga ʻo ha kolo. Toketā. ʻOku fakamatala ʻa Sax ki he mahuʻinga ʻo e kau ʻa e tamaiki fefine mo ha tukui kolo ʻo e kakai fefine ʻo e ngaahi toʻu kehekehe pea pehe ki hono ʻoange ki he tamaiki fefine ʻa e faingamalie ke nau vakaiʻi honau tuʻunga fakalaumalie. Ko ʻetau masajid ko ha ngaahi feituʻu lelei ia maʻa e houʻeiki fafine, motuʻa mo e talavou, ke fakataha mai ʻo fakatupulaki ha faʻahinga ongo kehekehe ʻo kita.

Fekumi ki ha tokoni.ʻOku faingataʻa ʻa e moʻuí. Naʻe ʻi ai pē taimi naʻa mau fakatupulaki ai ʻa e ʻamanaki ʻoku totonu ke mau ʻiloʻi kotoa iá pe lava ʻo fakakaukauʻi. ʻOku ʻikai ke moʻoni ʻeni. ʻOku fie maʻu ke tau fakatupulaki ʻa e malava ko ia ke kole ha tokoní ʻi he taimi ʻoku tau fie maʻu ai ia ʻi he fakafoʻituituí, tukufakaholo fakafāmili, mo e tuʻunga fakakolo. ʻE lava ke hoko ʻeni ko ha founga ʻo e kumi fakamalohisino pe faleʻi, fakafalala ki ha kaungāmeʻa ke maʻu ha poupou, pe maʻu ha faʻahinga feongoongoi fakapalofesinale. ʻI he taimi ʻoku ʻikai ke tau fie kole tokoni aí, ʻoku faʻa iku foki ʻo ʻikai ke tau lava ʻo tokoni.

Hoko ko ha tokotaha faʻifaʻitakiʻanga lelei. ʻIkai ʻi he tuʻunga pē ʻo e lavameʻa fakalotú pe fakangāué. Ko e faingataʻaʻiá mo e taʻe lavameʻá ko ha konga ia ʻo e moʻuí. ʻOku hu mai e kau ʻaʻahi ko ʻeni mei heʻetau moʻui ʻi he tukunga kotoa pe. ʻOku ʻikai ke nau ʻai ke tau siʻi ange pe fakasiʻisiʻi hotau mahuʻingá. ʻI he taimi ʻoku tau ako ai ke faitotonu fekauʻaki mo hotau ngaahi fakangatangatá pea tau loto fiemālie ke fehangahangai mo e ngaahi ongo ʻoku tau maʻú, ʻoku tau fakahaaʻi ki he fanau ʻoku nau feohi ʻoku ʻikai ngata pe ʻi heʻene sai, kae toe malu foki, ke fai ia. Loto fiemālie ke fefaʻuhi mo e ngaahi faingataʻa ʻoku ʻikai fakafiemālié.  ʻOku fai ia ʻe heʻetau fānaú ʻi he ʻaho kotoa pē.

Naʻe tupu hake ʻa Menahal ʻi he ngaahi kuini, Niu ʻIoke. ʻOku ne ʻosi mei he ʻinisititiuti ʻa ʻAlo-Huda pea ʻoku ʻi ai hono mataʻitohi pule ʻi kiliniki faleʻi ki he moʻui lelei fakaʻatamai. ʻOku ngaue ʻa Menahal mo ha niʻihi fakafoʻituitui, ngaahi fāmilí, mo ha ngaahi hoa-mali ʻoku ʻi ai ha feituʻu ʻoku lahi ai e ngaahi palopalema fakaemoʻui lelei fakaʻatamaí, kau ai e ngaahi palopalema ʻo e ngaohikoviá. Kuo fakakakato ʻe he Menahal lahi taha ʻa e ngaahi tuʻunga 1-3 ʻo e faleʻi ki he nofo-malí ʻo fakafou ʻi he ʻInisititiuti Kotimení, ʻiloa ʻa māmani ʻi heʻene ngāue ki he tuʻunga malu ʻo e malí mo e kikite vete malí. Hili iá, naʻá ne ngāue mo e ʻInisititiuti Kotimení ke faʻu e Fakahinohino ki he Fakamoʻoni Faka-ʻIsilelí ki he Founga ʻa Kotimení. ʻOku ne feinga he taimi ni ke ako ʻi Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, ko ha modality ke faitoʻo ʻaki e mamahi.

ʻI heMali Haohaoa, ʻOku tau tokoni 50 kakai ʻi ha uike ʻe taha ʻo mali!Kumi Practising kau Mosilemi tautaha he taimi ni!
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ʻI he Mali Haohaoa, ʻOku tau tokoni 80 kakai ʻi ha uike ʻe taha ʻo mali! Te mau lava ʻo tokoni atu ke ke ʻiloʻi foki mo ho hoa angatonú! Lesisita HE TAIMÍ NI

Kumi Practising kau Mosilemi tautaha he taimi ni! Lesisita TAʻETOTONGI