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Two years ago, a viral fever took away my mother’s partial hearing ability. It was a great shock for our family and for her. நான் என்ன சொல்கிறேன் என்றால், come to think of it…she could hear for almost half of her life and one day suddenly, she cannot. சில சமயம், I shut both my ears very hard and feel that silence. It scares me…gives me the creeps. Then I look at her and feel miserable. I know why she doesn’t go out much these days…but it kills me inside to see her sit away while all her friends are talking and laughing away at weddings and I control my tears. But she always tells me Alhamdulillah, I can still hear partially. And I say…Alhamdulillah; I still have her with me.
Last week my father was admitted in the hospital and lay in the ICU for two days. His blood pressure suddenly rose to his brain. According to his doctor, if we were to reach the hospital 10 minutes later he would have either died on spot or be paralyzed. Those two days outside the ICU on that bench and one week in the hospital with him, I started thinking of how life would be without him. WL, he is back home now fit and fine.
Sometimes we need a ‘wake up call’ to realize the importance of our parents whom we otherwise take advantage of unknowingly. Prophet Muhammad sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam pointed out among the minor signs of Qiyamah that –
“Obedience to spouse and disobedience to parents would be the order of the times. Spouses would pusillanimously (most timidly) submit to the un-islamic whims and dictates of each other. Whilst mothers would be disobeyed and fathers treated like strangers, preference would be given to friends who would be entertained with warm receptions and generous hospitality.”
Crying or moaning after they are no more amidst us is useless. We often forget the huge sacrifices they have made for us and complain about the little compromises we have to do. We forget that they have listened to our babbles endlessly and patiently…but do we find time to sit with them and talk socially? What happens very commonly in our society is that at a certain age girls get married and get settled at her in-law’s and guys get married and fly abroad with their wives. What about the parents? Where is their stand? Sending them cash or buying them things alone does NOT complete our responsibility towards them. It’s not just flora and fauna that are getting endangered these days….it’s us humans too…the real living ones…We have to find time to be with them, to listen to them, to cook for them, to take them outside, to talk with them, to hug them, to kiss them and to tell them everyday how much we love them….we have to…otherwise we will end up someday crying in some corner thinking “I should have…” There is today, there is them…and there is chance…don’t let it go waste…
Here are some hadiths from Sahih Bukhari which reflect on our duties towards our parents.
Ibn ‘Abbas said, “If any Muslim obeys Allah regarding his parents, Allah will open two gates of the Garden for him. If there is only one parent, then one gate will be opened. If one of them is angry, then Allah will not be pleased with him until that parent is pleased with him.” என்று அவரிடம் கேட்கப்பட்டது, “Even if they wrong him?” “Even if they wrong him” அவர் பதிலளித்தார்.
Sa’id ibn Abi Burda said, “I heard my father said that Ibn ‘Umar saw a Yamani man going around the House while carrying his mother on his back, கூறுவது, ‘I am your humble camel. If her mount is frightened, I am not frightened.’ Then he asked, ‘இப்னு உமர்? Do you think that I have repaid her?’ அவர் பதிலளித்தார், 'இல்லை, not even for a single groan.’
“Allah curses whoever curses his parents” and “Allah prolongs the life of someone who is dutiful towards his parents.”
‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr said, “A man came to the Prophet, அல்லாஹ் அவரை ஆசீர்வதித்து அமைதியை வழங்குவானாக, wanting to do jihad. என்று நபியவர்கள் கேட்டார்கள், ‘Are your parents alive?’ 'ஆம்,’ அவர் பதிலளித்தார். அவன் சொன்னான், ‘ Then exert yourself on their behalf.'”
Abu Hurayra reported that the Prophet, அல்லாஹ் அவரை ஆசீர்வதித்து அமைதியை வழங்குவானாக, கூறினார், “Disgrace! Disgrace! Disgrace!” என்றனர், “அல்லாஹ்வின் தூதர், who?” அவன் சொன்னான், “The one who fails his parents or one of them when they are old will enter the Fire.”
May Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta’ala grant us the hidaayat to be the kind of children who lives in this world being dutiful to our parents without being disobedient to Allah and in the Aakhira, enters the Jannatul Firdaus. Aameen. And never forget to pray for them everyday after our obligatory prayers. “Rabbir-hamhuma kama rabbayani sagheerah.” (My lord, have mercy upon my parents; the way they had mercy upon me when I was young).
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