Hili ʻa e vete mali, ʻoku fuʻu faingataʻa mo faingataʻa ke ikunaʻi ʻa e loto hohaʻá. Tautautefito ki he taimi ʻoku fakahoko ai ha vete mali ʻi loto he taʻu. ʻIkai ngata ai, for women to remarry again is a great challenge. Because they might not forget their past. More than women, men are strong. But both have the same challenge. Your ‘Depression’ is also another cause for the fear.

Depression also feeds your ‘soul’. When anything is missed or taken away from our life. We encounter depression. To overcome depression both our mind and soul should be physically and mentally become strong. Even relatives should be bold enough and try to deflect others.

If a person is depressed never deter or condemn. Ka, be close to them. Delight them in every way you can. Some may express their ‘disturbances’ whereas others will feel depressed and aloof when they are singly.

Be very concerned about this type of person. Because they should exhibit their emotions. ʻI he tafaʻaki ʻe taha, depression is from shaytan. He craves us to make know that Allah has punished him/her because he hates them.

How to defeat this fear?

ʻUluaki mo muʻomuʻa tahá, believe that Allah is the best of all ‘planners’. If he takes anything away from us, he is either testing our patients or has chosen something better for us. Say ‘Bismillah’ and accept anything and everything comes from Allah.

A foundation of belief and closeness is vital to beating the odds. Neongo ia, if the person accepts for marriage but still because of new blended families or stepchildren and society and co-parents they will step back.

Things you should avoid in the second marriage

• Never rush into a tying knot or wed because you have children and want moral, financial support. Do not marry for reason. Say no to “conditional love”. Because you will lack in trust. It is better to know about each other and then engage. Do not sabotage with the issues of first marriage.
• If you were betrayed by your spouse that is in a first marriage. Do not become over suspicious from your first experience. ʻIkai ngata ai, do not lack confidence in your new spouse.
• Just because your child needs a father or mother do not get married. It is difficult to forget the first love. But take your own time.
• Do not hide anything because of the guilt. Just express all the emotions and feeling of your past. Do not hide anything because it will not connect the bridges of trust.
• Make your child to get fixed with your new partner. Do not restrict them or force them. Make a good connection between stepchildren, too much of possessiveness should be executed from your heart.
• Avoid shyness, express your emotions when your spouse is doing something special for you. Thank your spouse, reveal your feeling though you like or do not like. But do not shut and think that your spouse will know about your feelings. Because your spouse is not God to know about your feelings.
• Ka, of saying that this is your fault, accept your mistake. Do not blame each other. A practice of ‘I’ is better than ‘you’ during arguments.
• ʻIkai ngata ai, do not ‘turn away’ but ‘turn towards ‘any queries your spouse faces. Eye contact and your gesture, attitude is highly valuable. So do maintain a good position and do not try to flee from the eye contact of your spouse.

In summing-up, be a good parent to your children. Though love can not come at an instance but, try your level best to be helpful with stepchildren. If you favour and attend them equally, even your spouse will be very much happy. The connection of trust will increase.

Jazakallahu Khairan.

ʻOmi kiate koe ʻe Mali Haohaoa – Ko e Ngāue Tokoni Lahi Taha ʻa e Māmaní maʻá e Kau Mosilemi Practising.

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