Ingxenye Yemibono Yenkomfa 1: Yini Inhlonipho?

NgoFebhuwari 5 2012, Amakhosikazi ahlakaniphile abambe umcimbi wawo wokuqala onezikhulumi eziningi eSikhungweni SamaSulumane sase-Irvine esibizwa ngokuthi “Ingqungquthela Yenhlonipho” eyagqamisa ukubaluleka kwenhlonipho ebudlelwaneni bomyeni/nomfazi..

Sibe nenhlanhla yokuba nezikhulumi ezintathu ezinhle ezisinikeze ulwazi oluningi oluwusizo nolukhuthazayo oluvela ezimpilweni zabo zomuntu siqu nezomsebenzi engingathanda ukwabelana ngazo lapha..

Ezimbili zazo izinkulumo, Noha Alshugairi futhi UMegan Wyatt, Ngizobe ngifingqa ochungechungeni lwebhulogi ngoba bekuyizinkulumo ezisebenzisanayo futhi okwesithathu, Yasmin Mogahed, izolayishwa njengevidiyo. Jabulela!

Umshado onelayisensi & umelaphi womndeni uNoha Alshugairi ubeyisikhulumi sethu sokuqala. Naye aqonde phambili, indlela ebanzi nevuselelayo, wakhuluma ngqo nesihloko ngokubuza izethameli ukuthi “inhlonipho” isho ukuthini kuzo.

Uhlu lufakiwe:

• Ukukhulumisana ngesizotha
• Ukucabangela
• Umqondo ovulekile
• Ukuyekethisa
• Ukuvuma imicabango nemibono yakhe
• Ukumphatha ngendlela ofuna ukuphathwa ngayo futhi
• Ukuvikela impahla yakhe

Ukuvumelana nawo wonke la maphuzu, wabe esebacela izibonelo eziqondile zendlela othile abonisa ngayo inhlonipho kumyeni wabo muva nje.

Omunye wesifazane waphendula ngesibonelo esibalulekile okufanele sisetshenziswe kuyo yonke imishado. Lona wesifazane ubephume nomyeni wakhe wakhuluma into emphatha kabi phambi kwabantu. Kodwa esikhundleni sokuthi amemezele esidlangalaleni ukuphoxeka kwakhe kuso sonke isixuku walinda baze bafika ekhaya futhi waba yedwa ukuze abhekane naye ngakho.. UNoha wabiza lokhu “ngokuthethisa kwangasese” phakathi kwendoda nomfazi. Wathi lokhu kwakuyinto ehlakaniphe kakhulu ayenzile, nokuthi “ukuthethisa” kufanele ngaso sonke isikhathi kwenziwe ngasese, futhi ikakhulukazi hhayi phambi kwezingane uma zikhona.

Omunye wesifazane waphendula ngokuthi ubonisa inhlonipho ngokuba nomusa kubazali bakhe, okuyinto uNoha athi ibaluleke kakhulu futhi uma ubanakekela kuyisenzo sokukhonza ohlangothini lwakho.

Impendulo yesithathu yaba, “Ngiyayihlonipha iholo lakhe.” Wamamatheka uNoha futhi emangazwa indlela izethameli ezazihlakaniphe ngayo njengoba ebhala leyo phansi, ebabaza ukuthi nalokhu kwakuphawuleka kakhulu. Ukuqinisekisa ukuthi inkosikazi akufanele neze ibeke umyeni wayo phansi ngenxa yemali ayenzayo.

Ezinye izeluleko ezinhle azigcizelele kwaba:

• “Uma ucasulwa ngumyeni wakho, buka isithombe esikhulu, kala ama-pluses nama-minuses.”
• "Ungaqhathanisi umyeni wakho nabanye abayeni."

• Lapho umyeni wakho enza okuthile ukusiza, “ibonge imizamo yakhe, ngisho noma egqokise ingane yakho ingubo embi.”
• "Kumele uzihloniphe wena kuqala ngaphambi kokuthi uhloniphe omunye umuntu."
• “Inhlonipho ayikwazi ukuphoqwa… kunomehluko omkhulu phakathi kwenhlonipho engaphezulu nenhlonipho ejulile.”
• Izimpi ngokuvamile zibangelwa ukungaboni ngaso linye futhi “ukungezwani kwenzeka lapho ukucatshangelwa kwenzeka.”
• Uma kunenkinga “ungabheki ukuziphatha kwangaphandle, bheka imbangela.”
• ]Abayeni abakwazi ukufunda izingqondo ngakho sebenzisa elithi “Izitatimende.” Noma ngabe singathanda kangakanani ukuthi abayeni bethu bazi esikufunayo ngaphandle kwethu, kufanele siqonde ukuthi lokhu akunakwenzeka kakhulu. Kunalokho uthi “ngifuna…” noma “Ngingathanda ngempela…” lapho ungathanda ukuthi umyeni wakho enze okuthile. "Uma usebenzisa 'izitatimende' kakhulu bangase baqale ukuzwa lokho okudingayo ngaphambi kokuthi ukusho."

Umshado Omsulwa

….Lapho Ukuzijwayeza Kwenza Kuphelele

Isihloko ngo- Amakhosikazi Ahlakaniphile – elethwe kuwe yi-Pure Matrimony- www.purematrimony.com - Inkonzo Yomshado Enkulu Kunayo Yonke Emhlabeni Yokwenza AmaSulumane.

Thanda lesi sihloko? Funda kabanzi ngokubhalisela izibuyekezo zethu lapha:https://www.muslimmarriageguide.com

Noma bhalisa nathi ukuze uthole ingxenye yedeen yakho Insha’Allah ngokuya ku:www.PureMatrimony.com