As a single mother, the thought of putting yourself out there and start searching for the one again can be pretty scary.
In reality, a single mother is not actually single because she has her children with her. For the next 2 decades, she will spend time raising her kids to the best of her ability. And this is what creates the problem when sisters are looking to remarry!
When it comes to marriage, men aren’t so accepting of another man’s children, whereas sisters tend to be more open to the idea of marrying a man who already has them.
Whatever the reason, it’s important to ensure you’re making the right decision to re-marry – so here’s our top 10 tips to help you make that transition!
- Don’t get married on the rebound – If you’re not emotionally ready to get married, it’s best to wait until you are
- Don’t marry until you’re happy as you are – If you’re not happy with your own company, you’ll make a poor choice for a wife. Those who look to others to give them happiness are rarely ever content
- KNOW what you want – Not knowing what you want means you’re more likely to make a mistake, so be clear about what you’re looking for
- Be prepared to face opposition to the loyalty you have with your kids – Your future husband might not understand why you’re so protective over your kids and will need time to understand this and adjust
- Accept that there’s no such thing as a blended family—at least not for a long time! If he has children too, be prepared that for many years you’ll feel as if it’s two families living under the same roof
- Don’t expect your new husband to be crazy about your kids – Bonding takes time, so don’t expect miracles
- Understand that being a step-parent is hard – If your husband to be has never had kids, he’s going to have a massive learning curve ahead of him and he’ll probably mess up many times. Expect it and be ok with it and have the patience to help him if needed
- Expect your kids to play up – Marriage is no joke, and it’s harder when kids are about to get a new ‘daddy’ figure in their life. Seen Nanny McPhee anyone? Case and point
- Do your istikhara and make a lot of dua! While marriage has many blessings, there are equally a lot of tests as well – so make sure you do things according to Allah’s laws and you’ll find His help when you need it most!
- Normal is subjective – Never compare yourself to others. Re-marrying is emotionally exhausting when you’re not prepared mentally and emotionally. Things will go wrong and kids will play up – learn to accept it’s normal and to be expected.
Last but not least, immerse yourself in learning everything you can about getting married again! The more you know, the better prepared you’ll be.
If you found this post helpful, there’s more where that came from!
We’ve got a great interview called ‘How To Get Married Again As A Single Mother’ which we think you’ll love! Head of Pure Matrimony Sister Arfa Saira Iqbal interviews single mother Umm Ibrahim where they discuss all the different things single mother’s need to consider when looking to get re-married. This is a fantastic interview and one that’s highly recommended for you to listen to!
To listen to the interview, please click here: INTERVIEW