Understanding Istikharah

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Understanding Istikharah
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By Pure Matrimony -

What is Istikhara and how is it performed correctly?  This is a very common question and quite rightly so. Will I see a dream?  Some colours?  A Sign? What if I see nothing? Did I not perform it correctly! How many times do I need to do an Istikhara? Istikhara as recommended by the Prophet (pbuh) is such an amazing blessing and a direct answer from Allah. Its a way to get guidance direct from our creator?

Istikhara, in reality, means “to seek goodness from Allah”.

Does Istikhara require lots of preparation or is it something I can do daily?

The first misconception is that Istikhara is a ‘special occasion only’ prayer or dua. For example, some Muslims think that it requires so much preparation. So they can’t be bothered to do it. Some think it is so difficult and complex that can they even do it! Others are told that they have to have a bath, wear clean clothes, pray Isha Salah then not speak to anyone, go to bed and wait for a dream of some sort. (It is permissible to do the above but not compulsory)

Well, its not like that. Istikhara can be performed every day and even in the daytime. I know some people who do Istikhara with most of their prayers. Except for after Fajr and Asr when sujood (sajda) is forbidden. Also Istikhara can be performed for life’s small decisions, big decisions and even for general guidance in your life. Allah has made our lives easy. Alhamdulilah.

Seeing Dreams: You don’t have to see a dream but of course you may see a dream. A good dream is a positive sign and a bad dream is a sign of warning regarding that matter of your life in general (if you are doing a non specific istikhara). Dreams are a great blessing from Allah. Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “True dreams are one of the forty-six parts of Prophethood.” (al-Bukhaari, 6472; Muslim, 4201)This means that good dreams and warnings in your dream are a direct source of information and guidance from Allah – SubhanAllah If you don’t see a dream, it is not an issue. It is recommended that you should continue your istikhara for 7 days if you have not got your answer. Keep asking Allah to show you a dream and if you don’t see a dream at all you will still be guided by Allah through a change in circumstances or a change in your heart and your feelings towards that thing. InshAllah.

Following your Istikhara – The Real Test :

Now this is the real test of our faith and imaan in Allah (Subhanahu wa ta’ala). Some people have a good sign or feeling and go against it. Others see a bad sign e.g  a marriage proposal and still go ahead with the marriage only to suffer the consequences. You have ‘sought the good’ from Allah and He, in His infinite mercy and knowledge has pointed out the way. Therefore, to go against this would be to your misfortune.  This is where we can see the wisdom and hikmah of the Holy Quran:

“And it is very possible that you dislike something whereas it is good for you; and (similarly) it is very possible that you like something whereas it is bad for you”. (Baqarah 16)

According to one Hadith: “It is from the good fortune of man that he makes Istikharah (seeks good) from Allah, and it is from his misfortune that he discards Istikharah.”Sa’ d ibn Waqas reported that the Prophet, peace be upon him, said, “Istikharah (seeking guidance from Allah) is one of the distinct favors (of Allah) upon man, and a good fortune for the son of Adam is to be pleased with the judgment of Allah. And a misfortune of the son of Adam is his failure to make istikharah (seeking Allah’s guidance), and a misfortune for the son of Adam is his displeasure with the judgment of Allah.” Ibn Taimiyyah

The Importance Of Istikhara

We have been instructed by the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam to perform the Istikhara prayer whenever we make decisions in our life, especially when we make some major decisions in life. Therefore, we should always make an effort to perform this prayer of Istikhara, whether we see it as a way in receiving guidance or whether we perform it as a supplication dua.

May Allah bless us with divine guidance from Himself and may He give us the understanding to make the correct decisions and may He put goodness in whatever He chooses for us to do. Aameen

ENGLISH TRANSLATION:

“O Allah, I consult You as You are All-Knowing and I appeal to You to give me power as You are Omnipotent, I ask You for Your great favour, for You have power and I do not, and You know all of the hidden matters . O Allah ! If you know that this matter (then he should mention it) is good for me in my religion, my livelihood, and for my life in the Hereafter, (or he said: ‘for my present and future life,’) then make it (easy) for me. And if you know that this matter is not good for me in my religion, my livelihood and my life in the Hereafter, (or he said: ‘for my present and future life,’) then keep it away from me and take me away from it and choose what is good for me wherever it is and please me with it.”

ENGLISH TRANSLITERATION:

Allahumma inni astakhiruka bi’ilmika, Wa astaqdiruka bi-qudratika, Wa asaluka min fadlika al-’azim Fa-innaka taqdiru Wala aqdiru, Wa ta’lamu Wala a’lamu, Wa anta ‘allamu l-ghuyub. Allahumma, in kunta ta’lam anna *hadha-l-amra  (this matter) Khairun li fi dini wa ma’ashi wa’aqibati amri (or ‘ajili amri wa’ajilihi) Faqdirhu li wa yas-sirhu li thumma barik li Fihi, Wa in kunta ta’lamu anna *hadha-lamra  (this matter) shar-run li fi dini wa ma’ashi wa’aqibati amri (or fi’ajili amri wa ajilihi) Fasrifhu anni was-rifni anhu. Waqdir li alkhaira haithu kana Thumma ardini bihi

*hadha-lamra  (This matter) – you need to replace this word with what you are asking Allah for help and guidance about e.g marriage, job, leaving home…

ASK ALLAH FOR DREAMS

One of our weakness as Muslims nowadays is that we have lost our link with our creator Allah (S.W.T) . If we get close to Allah we don’t need anyone. Ask Allah for absolutely anything. If its good for us it will happen inshAllah and if bad for us may Allah keep it away from us. When it comes to dreams ask Allah to show you a dream or a clear sign and believe me its works. You will start seeing dreams insha Allah if you ask Allah from your heart you will definitely find guidance for your dilemma.

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Source: http://pakmarriages.com/id37.html

118 Comments to Understanding Istikharah

  1. Asslamualeikum,

    Just to clarify, the article says

    “Others see a bad sign e.g a marriage proposal and still go ahead with the marriage only to suffer the consequences”

    Do you mean whilst considering someone if we get another marriage proposal, that is a bad sign?

    • JazakumAllahu khairan for sharing this very informative piece of writing with us. Alhamdulillah It cleared a lot of misunderstandings I had. However, I also would like some clarification for what brother Ammar asked.

      • I think the sister here wanted to say is that when some people pray Isthikhara regarding a marriage proposal, they get a bad sign [which means that it would not be good for their religion], but still they go ahead with the marriage, and they later realize that this was a bad decision [i.e. to go ahead with the marriage] because, for example, they might be ill-treated with their spouses.

    • It means that some people do istikharrah when they get a marriage proposal and they get a bad sign, but yet they still go on with the marriage.

    • Assalumalaikum sisters and brothers I like this guy but not really too sure about it because he said he really love me and also changed and making namaaz and such because of me that he fell in love with, but I’m not too sure i am just scared to do it because what if he is not meant for me but he changed for me lots of things he had change plz help me please what should I do?

        • May Allah keep him steadfast but usually such changes made are not long term may Allah keep him steadfast…don’t make decision under influence of this that he changed because of u just decide what ur heart feels inclined to after istakhara

    • Salaams I really need your advice I’ve been praying istigara namaz and lastnight I prayed went to bed and my sleep was broken so I woke up around 2 and went back to bed and didn’t have a very nice dream but it was weird cause it was about work it didn’t have anything to do with the guy I’m praying for plz advice me jazakallah

  2. Asalamu alikum I prayed istikhara on a marriage propose and I saw a dream it was about a guy who wanted to marry me and the dream was not good and I let that person go but I acually didn’t make dua mentioning that person at all it was about another guy but instead I saw this guy. Please try to answer me jazakalllah

    • walikumsalaam sister…so that means the person whom u have seen in ur dream is the one who is correct n good for u.. now dont think about the person to whom u have asked…indeed Allah (S.A.T) knows the best….

    • Tamanna Khan

      W.s sister don’t wry ALLAH PAAK is there n if something happen then it is just happen with ALLAH PAAK grace need not to worry ,he is just clearing ur confusion n try to do ishtakra again n kept ur the problem in heart while performing inshaALLAH ALLAH PAAK will show u what is right …so no worry …he is graceful n merciful …jazakALLAH Kherian

      • Salamu aleikum, pls have done istikhara on three different men but I keep seeing the same dream which is they are always putting another woman above me so I felt it was a bad sign n I broke up with the three. of them. Though I met them @different time. But recently I saw a guy that I fell in love with but we don’t talk so I decided 2 do istikhara about it but I avnt had a dream yet please what should I do. Pls reply me via my email

        • Pure Matrimony Admin

          Sister it’s important to understand that istikhara is NOT about seeing dreams – it’s about taking practical steps towards something and if you meet difficulties, it means it’s not good for you.

  3. Ukti u said *hadha-lamra (This matter) – you need to replace this word with what you are asking Allah for help and guidance about e.g marriage, job, leaving home…*

    bt i hv a question..
    Instand of Hadha-lamra(This matter),if it regarding marriage shuld i replace Her name whom i want to marry or shuld i replace it marriage purpose thats it…pls let me know Ukti…Jazzak Allahu Khair…

  4. Assalaamu Alaykum…

    Shukran for the information ukhtiy.. To be honest ukhtiy still until now, i never prayed istikhara yet… Because, 1st thing is i did not memorize yet the duwaa coz it’s too long..hehe but inshaallah i will try soon… and also i don’t know how to translate to arabic the thing that I am asking for guidance from Allah.. Like the next sentence for *hadha-lamra (This matter)..

    So, my question is, can i just say it in english ukhtiy? that’s all… Looking forward for your answer ukhtiy.. Shukran.. Jazakillahu Khayran..

    • Salam Sis NEVER don’t do anything because you don’t know the words in Arabic or in English. Allah will listen to your heart Inshallah. I pray Istikharah by just reading it off a paper in English BECAUSE your dua and prayers must be very true and focused, if you are only focused on perfect words how will you be focused. Allah knows if we are trying or not and our religion is easy for us so just do your best sis and used the words you can understand and feel Inshallah. Allah knows best what we think and do x

  5. salam

    can i read the istikhara dua from a piece of paper (After the 2 rakats of nafl prayers), because memorizing it will take a long time

  6. Assalaamu Alykkum…
    BISMILLAHI RRAHMAANIRRAHEEM.
    May i get the Dua in Arabic letters ?

    • Pure Matrimony_2

      Walaikum assalam

      عن جابِرٍ رضيَ اللَّه عنه قال : كانَ رسولُ اللَّه صَلّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وسَلَّم يُعَلِّمُنَا الاسْتِخَارَةَ في الأُمُور كُلِّهَا كالسُّورَةِ منَ القُرْآنِ ، يَقُولُ إِذا هَمَّ أَحَدُكُمْ بالأمر ، فَليَركعْ رَكعتَيْنِ مِنْ غَيْرِ الفرِيضَةِ ثم ليقُلْ : اللَّهُم إِني أَسْتَخِيرُكَ بعِلْمِكَ ، وأستقدِرُكَ بقُدْرِتك ، وأَسْأَلُكَ مِنْ فضْلِكَ العَظِيم ، فإِنَّكَ تَقْدِرُ ولا أَقْدِرُ ، وتعْلَمُ ولا أَعْلَمُ ، وَأَنتَ علاَّمُ الغُيُوبِ . اللَّهُمَّ إِنْ كنْتَ تعْلَمُ أَنَّ هذا الأمرَ خَيْرٌ لي في دِيني وَمَعَاشي وَعَاقِبَةِ أَمْرِي ، فاقْدُرْهُ لي وَيَسِّرْهُ لي، ثمَّ بَارِكْ لي فِيهِ ، وَإِن كُنْتَ تعْلمُ أَنَّ هذَا الأَمْرَ شرٌّ لي في دِيني وَمَعاشي وَعَاقبةِ أَمَرِي ، فاصْرِفهُ عَني ، وَاصْرفني عَنهُ، وَاقدُرْ لي الخَيْرَ حَيْثُ كانَ ، ثُمَّ رَضِّني بِهِ » قال : ويسمِّي حاجته . – رواه البخاري

  7. Salam alaykum,
    pls I prayed the isthkhara sometime last year about a guy. i asked Allah to make the guy look for me more than the he used to if it is good for me and he did, infact he was kind like wanting to rush everything as if he has been waiting for me . but what happened now is that after picking the date for the Nikkai and after so much preparation he just told me that he no more interested to the extent that his mother talked to him several times and he still did not yield. after some months i tried doing the isthikhara again and again so that i can take my mind off him, but to my surprise it is him I always in my dream ,either he is begging me or picking another date. but my family tells me to take my mind off because of what he did to me. pls enlighten me i dont know what to do. pls u can mail me . thanks

  8. Assalamoualaikoum…
    I performed this ishtikhara prayer regarding my intention to marry someone, I dream i am at my workplace, there was a very cute baby dressed in white in the kitchen, a tea lady was taking care of the baby, feeding him, I have loved the baby and carried the baby on my shoulder and introduced him to all my colleagues at office, then when I reached home, i was talking to my mother, we went in the kitchen, there were a few spoon of powdered milk remaining in her tin, i stole that to prepare milk for the child…

    Can anyone tell me if it is a good dream or a bad dream please?

  9. Can one make more dan one intentions in one sinlge istikhara prayer.for example: to seek guidance about marriage to a particular man and @ the same timE seek guidance abt other things like job.jazakallau khairan.expecting reply in my mail box

  10. answer seeker

    Assalamulaikum

    Myself and the man I intend to marry have decided to perform istikhara, we agreed not to speak as we did not want our judgement or answers to b affected by our emotions. I made the prayer after esha salaah, I woke up at 2am bt received no dream,I however felt extreamly nervous. Should I take this as a negative answer?
    I have another big decision to make in my life regarding a job,could this be affecting my answer?I’m also finding it difficult to keep a clear and open mind with regard to my marriage istikhara as I’m worried it will be negative.

  11. Salaam,

    I did isthikarah on marrying a guy I liked at the beginning of this year, but instead dreamt about another guy I know but never really thought about before.
    Then by chance, I got to know this guy in real life and I really started liking him but sometimes I feel like he likes me and other times he just treats me like a friend. So then I decided to do isthikarah on him and the first dream was good, we kept talking and smiling at each other in different places in teh dream. And in the last dream I had I was giving birth to a healthy baby (not sure boy or girl) in the hospital room and he was there standing near the doctors and nurses watching me give birth from the side of the room. The delivery was not that painful and I seemed happy at the end of the dream. I woke up right when they were about to cut the umbilical cord.
    But I have not seen or spoken to this guy in over a week so I don’t know how to interpret these dreams.
    Please help with the interpretation. Thank you.

  12. assalamualaikum, i did istikhara for a guy i liked. wen i did the last time i had a good dream, that is, i saw my nikah was arranged to him. but my father also did istikhara but he says he saw a negative dream and it is not coming from his heart for this proposal. i found it always positive. please help me what shall i do. which istikhara to count.

  13. Salaam to all brothers and sisters
    I have started Istikhara for the guy that I like, I have known him for a long time now, he completed Istikhara and said it was a bad sign, He said he saw me talking to another man, but I tried telling him that might not be a bad sign, he has not had any other signs, so now I am doing Istikhara, but his family have asked a relative for hand in marriage for him, and he wont tell them not to because he don’t want to hurt them and I am thinking is there any point in doing this if his family have already set their minds?? someone please advice me on what to do?
    Before I started my Istikhara I have had dreams of me and him getting married several times, does that mean anything? email me I would love to read all your comments.
    Jazakallah Khair.

  14. Salam sister I have was in a non Hallam relationship and he never wanted to come ask for my hand in the end I did estikhara after it was done I slept and the next day I broke up with him.. but the estikhara was not his name it was the man I did katbit Liktab with for immigration purposes who I was meant to marry a while ago but changes my mind…. So I mentioned his name and I’m not sure what is going on… Is maybe me breaking it off with the other guy a sign for me to stay with the one I have katbit lktab with……. Jzk plz help me I’m lost…

  15. Mehak khan

    Actually i love a guy… N i did istakhara …. 1st day i saw him , he came wearing a white dress wid green dopatta …. Evry1 meet him except ma dad n few family members…. After dat ma aunt gave me yummie chocolates
    Nxt day i saw ma dad waz interested in sum oder family but i refused
    Plz help
    Em in a gr8 trouble
    Thankss aloooot

  16. Mehak khan

    I did istekhara at night and then i slept i saw something but that was,t clear then i woke up for fajar prayer after that again i slept then i saw that good dream so is it the ans of istekhara ??? Plzz plzz tell me

  17. aslamalaikum..actually i am scared to do istikhara 🙁
    i really like this guy we have been studying together for close to 4years now and we have been together but last year we both stopped talking and broke up but this year we started talking again. He said he loves me and wants to marry me but ma brothers are not happy about it because he broke my heart last time and argued all the time. He did istikhara about over year ago and said it was positive and im right for me. Now my mum and friends are like telling me to do istikhara but am scared. Please help me or advise me. Jazakhallah khair.

  18. Assalamu’alaikum

    I prayed istikharah for a guy. The first one I prayed three times, and I saw a dream that I met his family member but I saw a white snake as well. The snake was white but it was not harmful. It was like only watching me. Another thing was that my mother disagreed of his proposal. Because he lives in another country and my mother does not want me to move out. I am currently confused with this. Is it a sign that I cannot proceed with the marriage?

    • Wa Alaikum salam sister,

      Dreams can be divided into 3 categories:
      1.Visions or dreams that come from Allah.
      2. Attempts by the Shaytaan to frighten us
      3. The workings of the subconscious.

      The Prophet (SAW) said ‘Good dreams come from Allaah and bad dreams come from the Shaytaan. If anyone sees a bad dream that he dislikes, let him spit drily to his left three times and seek refuge with Allaah from its evil, then it will not harm him.’”(Narrated by Muslim, 2261)

      Going by this hadith, you shouldn’t really be disturbed about the bad/disturbing dreams you have had.

      And now about istikharah, you pray istikharah only after you have decided on one thing and asking Allah’s guidance whether that decision is the right one. So once you have decided, pray istikharah, go ahead with your decioion. If it is good for your deen, dunya and akhira things will go in the way of favoring the decision, if not things will stop. So once you have prayed, you have to be happy with whatever the outcome is, even if it is not to your liking since Allah knows better as to whats good for us and what isnt.

      • Salam
        Your answer is the most logical way.
        I did istiqarah to the guy and have dream. But in that dream I can predict that the road to be together will not easy.
        This person is good for dunya and akherah, I can see his genuine but to be together need lot of sacrifition.
        I tried to give up him few times, but he doesn’t want. He is presistant to marry me. We live in different country and also both difficult countries. Our ages and status will be trouble in view of public.(community) I feel I know our marriage will be bad rumors.
        We have compatibility in most of everything. But to get together is very challenging.
        What should I do?

  19. Assalamualaikum I lik 1 guy n I did estekhara n slept den in between of night I woke n ma heart said its positive but I dnt c any dream. Plz help

    • Wa Alaikum salam sister,

      You do istikhara after deciding one of the two options present before you and then pray. It isnt necessary that you get a dream. So once you have decided on something, pray istikhara, go ahead with your decision. If its not good for you Allah would stop it at one point and if it is good for you in this world, the hereafter and your deen things will go smoothly inshallah. So cheer up :). If Allah wants it for you things will go as you planned. But remember if things go otherwise you shouldn’t be dejected since what we think is better for us will be bad for and Allah Knows best.

  20. Salaam,
    I am currently seeing a guy for 5 months now. I did Istiharah after 3 mths of seeing him. I did not have a fream but woke up very happy and a huge smile on my face. It is now 5 mths and i am doing the Istikharah again as i would like to marry him and have strong feelings for him. I did not have any dream or feelings when i woke up therefore i have been doing this for 7 days now. Still for 7 days of Istikharah with Esha namaaz i am not dreaming of anything or feeling anything when i wake up??
    What should i do now and is this a good or bad thing that i cant dream or feel anything once waking up. Please guide me…
    Jazark allah

    • Assalamu Alaikum sister,

      Its alright if you don’t dream anything. Just read the dua and take the decision and go ahead with it. if it is good for you things will go smoothly and if it isnt good for your deen, dunya and akhira, it will stop at one point. Allah Knows best.

  21. Salam;
    I am a father of daughter and we have a proposal for my daughter. The guy looks to be very nice and family oriented. My wife and daughter did istikhara for more than two weeks, but they didn’t see any dream or sign. Everything was going well because they like us and we like them. Later I have asked to our Moulana Sahib to perform istikhara on our behalf to see that how is this proposal for our daughter. Moulana Sahib replied after 3 days that the guy is having lot of friendships and he always like to do the things in his own ways i.e; he dictate the things. he also did mentinoed that this relationship me not go along. The guy sister told us that they performed istakhar and girl is good for them. Now we are confused that should we proceed with this proposal or not. Please guide me.

    Thanks a lot!

    • Assalamu Alaikum brother,

      Istikhara is supposed to be performed by the person who has to make the decision i.e. your daughter and not someone else. And it isnt necessary that you see a sign or dream. You pray istikharah after taking up one of the decision. For eg if you decide to go ahead with the proposal pray istikhara to Allah to guide you to the right decision. And inshallah if that is good for you things will go in that direction.
      I hope this helps.
      Allah Knows best

  22. Nadia D.Muhammad

    I love one of my relative he is from my father’s side.. he is my cousin sister’s son.. in islam its possible to marry but in our tradition we can’t because of the relation of being his aunt..he asked his mom for our marriage she said she can not accept because am her couzin sister .. so we decided to do istikharah. . I did istikharah thrice but I din dream anything .. he did istikharah both the time he saw not to marry me.. Please I need help we both love eachother and always see as a husband andp wife to each other. . Please just say me why am not dreaming and say me the right way of istikharah ..I will be thank full ..

    • Assalamu Alaikum sister,

      There is no link between istikhara and dream. You don’t base your decision on dreams.
      When it comes to the correct way of performing istikhara,after deciding one of the two options present before you, you should pray 2 rakats followed by the dua of istikhara. Then go ahead as planned. If it is good for your deen, dunya and akhira things will go in the way of favoring the decision, if not things will stop. So once you have prayed, you have to be happy with whatever the outcome is, even if it is not to your liking since Allah knows better as to whats good for us and what isn’t.

      Allah Knows best.

  23. Salam. I have known a guy for 5 months now. I am moving abroad for a year for job purposes and the plan was to get married when I come back. I want to study further when I am back after I am married to him in order to give us both a stable future in the end and it is also my dream to study further. He does not really want me to as he says studying will stress me out and his duty as a husband is to not let things stress me out. He said he would rather I put my efforts elsewhere. I did istikhara last night and I had a dream of me and my sisters trying to find a place and whilst we were walking there was a red big snake infront of us. When we turned around there was a red and slightly black medium snake behind us and a small red snake behind us. We were walking quickly to get away from it but it kept following us. I distinctly remember the RED on the snake as it was a shocking red and the rattling sound the snake was making. Also in that dream I saw someone burgle my house. I also saw a police woman trying to chase a burglar. I am totally confused. What does all of this mean? Should I marry him? This is making me crazy!

  24. Sorry i did istikhara about whether I should marry him or not. Also can you give me advice regarding whether he has the right to stop me studying? I have said I will try my best to accommodate and have time for the family but he thinks I will not. I know my priorities but I just want to study for 5 years and then InshAllah get a good job and have a better future for us both.

  25. I need to perform istikharah but gave birth to my second child under 3weekss ago. Can I. Perform my istikharah in this period. Of 6weekss after birth if so do I perfom it differently. I need to find sme guidance from Allah regarding my marraige but don’t know how to go about it. Please help me. Jazakallah

  26. Asaalamu alaikum..

    I did istikhara yesterday for the first time is my life. I pray five times a day. I love a girl so much . I hardly see any dream but yesterday after eesha salat I did istikhara. i saw a dream in which someone was wearing white clothes and it was very dark. Something was pulling me and suddenly the person in white vanished away. As though someone was pulling me to their side and slowly myself disappeared. And I woke up from a dream and was sweating and very nervous.. plz can you tell me what does that mean. Many thankz . May Allah pak bless you.

  27. Assalaam-u-alaikum..
    Here in this post it is written that one can do it anytime and.even at day time and there is no compulsion for taking bath,aur not talking to anyone but here you have not given a proper way for Istekhara. So does this mean that we should just read that given dua and wait for the dream? Or is there a particular things that we should follow??

  28. What if in a marriage proposal..the man and the women does isthikara..and for the man it showa positives and for the women it was shown negatives? ?? This has really made a big quest for me. Please advice what to do??

  29. abdul wahab aminat

    I am already dating a guy, but another guy propose to me and I started developing feelings for him, can I do istikhara for him.

    • Assalamu Alaikum sister,

      First off, ‘dating’ or pre-marital affairs is not permissible in Islam. So to pray istikhara for dating is like asking Allah’s intervention in something wrong, and this isn’t acceptable.
      Allahu ‘Alam.

  30. Salaam
    I had done Istekara for 7 times to take correct decision of my kids future education but I didn’t get any results. I do not have a good dream or a bad dream. So what I have to do ? Please clear my confusion
    waiting for ur reply
    Jazakallah

    • Assalamu Alaikum sister,

      It isnt neccessary to see a dream after praying istikhara. Supposing you have an option A and B regarding your children’s education. you have to chose one of the options and THEN pray istikharah. And once you pray you have to continue with the option you chose. If it is good for the children’s duniya and akhirah inshallah it will happen. If not, Allah would prevent it.

      Hope this clears your doubt 🙂 May Allah make it easy for you.

  31. If I sees positive signs about the person whom I wanted for in Istekhara then how will I able to get marry with him ?

  32. Salam
    I had a istakhara about marriage decision for myself from Quran.
    When I open Quran I had Surah Tauba.
    What is the answer of this istakhara?
    And what should I do?

    • Assalamu Alaikum sister,

      Surahs don’t lead you to any decision you have to make. In Istikahrah, you first decide something for yourself, for example you decide to go ahead with the marriage. You then pray two rakats and then recite the istikkharah dua. After that go ahead with the plan. If you face any obstacles in between towards the marriage that is sign that it is not for you. If you don’t face any difficulties you would know it is good for you in this world and the hereafter and you can go ahead with the marriage inshallah.
      May Allah make it easy for you.

  33. Salams I asked a friend to perform isthikhara on my behalf for nikaah. In the first night he mentioned he had various dreams most of which he didn’t remember but one he did remember was he saw arabic verses maybe quran verses with red full stops..he didn’t feel negative or positive. . any ideas or assistance please asap?? Jazak allah khair.

  34. Asalamualikum,
    I want to marry a girl and she wants to marry me, however her mother has gone totally against our marriage so she has put a lot of pressure on her, my parents has no issue and her other family memembers also dont have any issue but her mother is the only one against our marriage she has forced her daughter to stop all the communication with me, and she did it, she told me she cant do anything because of her mother’s pressure. Now i have just told her to pray Istikhara and i will also pray istikhara namaz so that it becumes clear and we will do according to what answer we get through istikhara from ALLAH. Can you please put some light on it and help me with the issue.

    • Assalamu Alaikum brother,
      Yes you need to continue to offer istikhara and not have contact without the presence of a wali. Parents approval in all cases is essential but if you are a praciticing brother and rightoeus and their reason for rejection is something different then it is wrong. You will need to contact an Imam or let your family speak with them and discuss this matter in an humble manner with the girl’s mother and family. Insha’Allah we pray this works out for you if its best for this world and the akhirah

  35. Hi,

    I did isthikhara for 2 days and i was unable to pray the third day due to circumstances. Do i need to do it again?
    Also on the first day i prayed the isthikhara i did not get a dream but the person i did it for did something that made me feel very positive and happy, can that be a sign.?
    is it necessary for me to carry on praying isthikhara for 3 days if i feel or i have found the answer on the first day of praying?

    Could you please help

    Thanks

  36. I’m confused. I have being doing Istikharah after after the Witr prayer. So I do my 4 fard, 2 Sunnah, 3 Witr and then 2 Nafl Instikharah. Have I been doing it wrong and I have read it should be done after two Sunnah?

    Jazak ALLAH Khair.

  37. As salaam alaykum..there is a guy that I love..but he is of a different tribe..I told mom…but she refused him..then I prayed istikhaara..I ddnt dream abt it..the next day..from morning to evening I talked to him..happily…but at night..we discussed something that led us to fight….then too fast I broke up with him…then my heart told me it was the result of istikhaara..I wasn’t angry or sad…I tried not to think of wat happened..but from next day..my hearr started to hurt…I still loved him…and the idea of loosing him forever hurt me even more…and I say to myself that if I just listened to him..and tried to reason wit him..maybe we wudnt HV broken up….I wanted to talk to him for one last time..and I did..but he still loves me and I still love him..and he is still not accepted by mom…what do u think I should do…should I believe that break up was the result…and that I should leave him…or should I try Again?!! pls help me clear my doupts…jazaaka Llaahu khair

  38. salam
    we have been dating each oda for 5 years now , we love each oda so mch dat we dont even dream of living without each other. but unfortunately a disaster befall us.his parents wants him marry anoda girl due to some gossip dat have been going on against us.now my mother has asked me to stop communicating with him .we then secretly continues communicating bt when she discovered that we are stil together she called him herself and ask him to forget me .now we hardly communicate either through sms or chat etc but we love each other so much dat a day wil not come and pass without a tear from my eyes. my mother said that she ask someone to perform isthikara and the result is dat we cant get married .now I want to do it myself but I,m afraid to get a negative answer coux I cant live without him Allah.

    • Assalamu Alaikum wa rahamthullahi wa barakathuhu,

      Dear sister, I understand how difficult this period must be for you. But please understand there is no blessing in matters that goes against Allah’s commands. I am sure you know that dating in Islam is forbidden. Your parents have done good by preventing both of you from talking and meeting. If this brother was really in love with you he should have approached your parents first and asked for your hand in marriage. This is the islamic and noble way of doing things. Instead you both have gone behind your parents backs and had a relationship. Maybe this separation is Allah’s way of leading you to the right path. It will be difficult but this pain you are facing now is far better than the pain you would have to face in the akhirah if you go with this deed in your record. .
      As for Istikhara, this has to be performed by the person in question. Not anyone else.
      I advise you to please repent to Allah sincerely and ask Him for forgiveness.

      Wa alaikum salam wa rahamthullahi wa barakathuhu

  39. Salaam,
    I have been reading and would just like to clarify: so the right way of doing Istikhara is to wait until you have already decided? the reason i am asking is because a short while ago i was confused on whether i should pursue a proposal? the guy was practicing and nice, everything was being done in a halal manner, so i began to do Istikhara as i was not sure. things moved forward a little yet i would sometimes feel positively and sometimes negatively. sometimes i would want to say yes, sometimes no. i got so confused that i began to get stressed and told everyone i was not ready to decide. Eventually any feelings i did have faded, and im now looking elsewhere. And i got so anxious at that time that i dont even like it when people mention him. I feel bad because he was nice. But mostly im still confused. Did i turn away from the positive emotions and now Allah is upset with me? Did it work and thats why i moved away from it? Or was i doing it wrong in the first place? I dont want Allah to be displeased with me, im now looking elsewhere.

    Please inbox me an answer also.
    Jazakhallah
    Iram.

    • Wa alaikum salam sister,

      Yes the right way is to pray Istikhara AFTER you have made a decision. If the decision you made is good for you in this world and the hereafter Allah will make it the path towards it easy for you. If it isn’t good for you there will be obstacles placed nad it may not take place.
      You may find this link helpful inshallah http://islamqa.info/en/2217

  40. assalamu alaikum,
    My parents proposed me a guy. He saw me in photo only. we both hav same b’day hav same thoughts everythng match. Before conform thz that boy said want to knw each other so during 1 week period he nicely chat with me. Only chating we did didnt see each directly also Bt after 1 month hz mother changed her decision.they choose anther grl and reject me. Bt recently he send a msg that he in confusion bcz after the isthihara salath he saw me in hz dream on the day he went to cnfrm the other grl. And he said he like me. Nw the engagement hapend to him with that grl. Bt what does that dream say?

    • Wa alaikum salam ukthi,

      When one prays istikhara you dont just depend on the dream. A dream can be from Satan too. You first come to a decision and then pray istikhara, seeking Allah’s guidance in that decision you have made. If it is the right decision and will help you in this world and the hereafter the path towards it will be made easy. If not, there will be lots of obstacles.
      Based on what I have said above I am sure you would know what the answer is.
      Secondly, this brother is already engaged to someone else. In no way is right for both of you to have any connection after this. In fact the brother should have approached your parents instead of you. I hope Allah makes things easy for and you do right thing, Ameen.

  41. Salam. I did a istikhara for marriage and the first night I did it I saw white but i saw a person in a white clothes who may have been dead. but I woke up in a fright at 5am. Therefore I did my istikhara again the next day with all my prayers and I had no dream. Should I take the first dream as a good sign or do I re do my istikhara again for 7 night. Also do the istikhara have to be continues 7 night

  42. Assalamalaikum brother
    I saw my engagement preparation in my dream but after a while girl was changed and boy was same. After seen this I was totally broken in my dream .. plz help me what I understand with this

  43. Salaam, I’m very confused and wanted to know if you could help me, ive got 2 marriage proposals, I performed istikhara for both of them, with one the first time I done it I had a dream that I failed an exam but I decided to perform istikhara again for this proposal and now I got a dream that it was my sisters and brother in laws nikkah and that they are in the garden plucking out flowers and giving it to each other, I don’t understand the dream is it a good or bad dream, cause I know plucking of flowers is not good. Also for the other proposal when I done istikhara it had come out good. So I’m really confused, I don’t understand what to do.

  44. As salaamu alaikum,

    there is my cousin who wants to marry me and said he did istikhara and in his dream he saw me tying a scarf to his head. Please let me know if this is a positive result.?

    • Walaikum Salaam – there is no dream in istikhara, so this is not a positive or negative result. When you do istikhara, you face either ease or difficulty. If its ease, its sign that this is good for you. If its difficulty, it means its not good for you.

    • There is no dream in an istikhara – simply you either face ease or difficulty. If you face difficulty, this is a sign to turn away from it. If you face ease, this is a sign this is good for you

  45. Salam,
    There is a guy I want to marry and he wants to marry me just to be sure I decided to do Istikhara.
    A friend told me a different way Istikhara his Qari told him. The way was to make two slips and write good on one and bad on one. Then recite Durood Sharif , Surah yaseen , Durood Sharif again and make dua. After that take the slips out 3 times and whatever comes more is the answer. When I did this twice the slip was in favor and once it was not. However, just for my peace of mind I did another istikhara that night teh traditional way. I saw in my dream that I came down running and laughing from a bus and decided to park it. I drove the car and parked it and was very satisfied in the end that it is parked and no one can steal it.
    The only problem my whole dream was at night although i don’t remember the black sky completely but I read in a lot of places that black color is disapproval but I was feeling satisfied and content how should I take this?
    please help.

  46. Salam,
    I like a guy…we were in relation ship for 2 years deeply…his mother come and see me she likes me so they proposed me but my family is not ready to married me now…they felt bad and they search other one..now he got engaged with some one…the thing is that I had several times isthkara and all time I get positive result…even after his engagement I had done isthihara but the result is postive…these made me confuse…I don’t no what to do…plz help me….

    • Istikhara means consulting with Allah and being firm in your decision – and you’ll know the decision is right because you will feel at ease with it and things will become easy for you. If you are engaged and feel this is the right thing to do and things are easy for you, then insha’Allah you can proceed with marriage.

  47. Still now when I done isthikar I get positive result…. I don’t no what to do my mind s till says he will come back

  48. Am in love with someone but don’t no if u wants to marry me or not Wat do I do I love him so much can I still do istahara.

  49. Asalamoalekum !!
    MAINE ISTEKHARA SE PEHLE ALLAH SE RAASTA DIKHANE KE LIYE KAHA THA MERE SAATH BAHUT SE COINCIDENCES HOTE RAHE MAINE UNHI KO ALLAH KA SANKET MAAN LIA …YEHI LAGTA RAHA N LAGTA BHI H KI MAIN SAHI RAASTE PE HUN MAGAR ISTEKHARA KE BAAD MERA USSE BAAT NA KE BARABAR HONE LAGI WITHING 15 DAYS THINGS BECAME WORST N WE DECIDED TO PART WAYS …DIL MAIN SUKUUN NAHI H AJEEB SI KAHFIYAT H BAHUT BAAR RONA AAYA …FELT LIK TALKING TO HIM BT LAGA KI ITNI NEGATIVE FEELINGS H ALLAH KA BHI YEHI FAESLA HOGA …ALLAH MUJHE STRENGTH DEIN KI MAIN ISS HALAT SE BAHAR AAUN …ISTEKHARA KARNA AUR ALLAH KI MASLIHAT JANA ASAAN NAHI H BS DUA H KI WOH HI HO LIFE MAIN AB JO ALLAH AUR USKE RASOOL KO PASAND HO …AAMEEN

  50. Assaalam walaykum brothers and sister.
    1st Q》I saw a dream in there my cousin whom i do many love to her in there i saw she stands beside me and she starts speaking about our marriage ,our children etc,i was astonished to hear it and was many happy on it after sometime i get up from sleep.
    2nd Q》i usually see her in dream many time since 2 years cause i am 21 age now and never see any reltionship matters but i see brief meeting ,walk around,sometime a brief dream of holiday together.
    But the dream of her opinion of plans was first time i have seen.
    I will be greatful please help me with the matter.
    Thanking you

    • Pure Matrimony Admin

      Walaikum salaam brother – dreams do NOT form part of istikharah at all. This is an incorrect understanding of what it is. Many dreams we have are actually a chatter of the self – so rather than focus on the dream, focus on actions you are taking and whether they are easy or hard. If it’s hard, then understand that Allah is putting you off it. jzk

  51. Assalamu alaykom. How do we know the exact answer for the istikhara? And how do we know if the dream is a real dream and not mixed visions from our unconscious. For instance, sometimes we have dreams as merely dreams from our unconscious, how do we distinguish between these and the sign if Allah ?

  52. Edward Kekuda Kargbo

    ASSALAMU ALLAYKUM . I want to marry a widow and i got a first wife who doesn’t work to my command she is always doing what she likes. I therefore, wants to take a second wife but the woman is a widow. Please advise me if it is necessary to perform Ishtikarah Duah before the marriage. masalam

    • Pure Matrimony Admin

      Walaikum salaam warahmatullah – yes brother! You should ALWAYS perform istikhara on any decision which is going to impact your life.

    • Pure Matrimony Admin- Umm Khan

      You can still pray Istikhara till the final conclusion is met. And keep an eye out for the things that will unfold. If they are favorable to you then proceed with the wedding and if they are not then this proposal is not meant for you.

  53. Asalam aleykum….i need ur advice,i was proposed to a nice guy Alhamdulillah,i dd istihara i got a good answer,we started talking for fews months and things were real okay,reached a time we used to fight and i was guilty for that since he was innocent,but i used not to go to bed till i apologize to him,fews dasy back things went realy bad as i chose to open my heart to him and told him the truth that i was chatting with an old friend of mine, he took me negatively he got realy furious and told me to get married to the other guy, he decided to call off the weddding,i tried talk to,to make him understand that i really love him,my parents ,his parents tried to speak to him but he doent want to hear any advice from anyone,i really love him and i knw he loves me too,but he’s real jelouse,he said he doesnt want to share me with anyone,i tld him no one shares me ,you the only one Allah directed me to but he doesnt want to listen,i decided to pray istihara again and feel things are real okay for me to get married to him,wat i mean he is still the answer to my istihara prayer….what should i do about this……pipo are telling me to give him time and space he will be back,,,i real dont knw wat to do…..kindly advice me as ur fellow muslim gal.JAZAKALLAH KHAIR

  54. As salaam alaikum.I did istikhara for a guy and saw kabah in dream .I don’t know whether it’s my wish coming as dream or it’s dream from Allah.pls reply

  55. Shahzadi Khatoon

    After reciting Salat al istikhara for marrying someone I love, on the first day I saw a dream of.something white, that was like a white notebook, but on the second day I saw a dream that I got married to some other person and still thinking about the person I love, I recited istikhaara aftr the zohar namaj, what does this dream mean, plz help.me.plzzzzzz

  56. Assalam o alaikum,
    My parents want me to accept a certain proposal of marriage. I performed istikhara on shab e baraat and while sleeping I saw something scary and got scared and woke up. I told my parents about it and they still want to go through with the marriage. They asked around and the reputation of the guy and his family among others is pretty good. My brother met him and he also says that the guy is good. What am I supposed to do ? I’m already almost 26 years old and my parents are worried about me. Please guide me what should I do? Because my parents are really worried and they want me to accept this marriage.

    • Arfa Jamal

      Walaikum salaam warahmatullah – Sister please carefully read the article – Istkihara does NOT give you dreams! It’s about making a decision, doing your istikhara and then taking steps towards the intended decision. If you struggle with setbacks and difficulties, this is a sign its not good for you. And Allah knows best.

  57. Assalam alikum
    Last night I performed the istekhara prayer for the man I would love to marry inshallah, lately we’ve been having problems for no reason and have let go from one another.. however can’t do it without each other, we love each other but don’t know what’s going on! I want to turn to Allah and ask for guidance— and when I went to sleep I had a normal dream which I cannot remember so much, however I woke up in the middle of the night and went back to sleep and had a dream again and he was in it. ” i was with a friend and we were at some weird place, me and her were on like a wharf and the water looked dirty and we were watching a speed boat,, however he was sitting on the edge of the other wharf just looking at me and wanting to take me, or help me??? So we didn’t end being together and he was walking me to his car, it is was a white car, and the rest I couldn’t remember..”
    -could this be because my mind was overthinking about the dream??? I couldn’t stop thinking about it even before going to sleep if Allah was going to give me a sign or however, through my dream…
    I feel like I should do it again tonight…
    Please help me! Inshallah!
    Thank you.

    • Arfa Jamal

      Sister please read how to perform the istikhara properly as you do not see any dreams. jzk

  58. Assalamualaikum
    I am in love n the guy also love me and his parents is ready for marriage but not mine .my parents saying that he is black and fat so it’s not for u n i love him very much and i don’t want to do marriage by running so plz just help me out i m not doing Istekhaar becoz i m afraid

    • Arfa Jamal

      Salaam sister,

      You SHOULD do istikhara because there is nothing to be afraid of. If you are sincere in wanting to do things the right way and want to be happy, then you should ALWAYS go with Allah’s choice – because it can NEVER be the wrong choice. If istikhara signs point to the fact that this brother is not right for you, and you marry him anyway, you will run into a LOT of problems afterwards. So always place Allah’s preference over yours because He SWT knows what we don’t.

      • Assalam Walekum….
        i was confused about a guy and we have done the istikhara and it is performed by 1 mufti and the nxt day he answered that it is a yes….
        and the mufti also says that u can still say no if u r not satified and mufti also says istikhara (yes) does not mean that u shuld marry ur daughter to that guy..
        but now my father is confused about that guy becoz he is starting his business and he does not earn much…and also they dont have there own house…
        but his family nd everything is vry good…
        sooo plzzz help me in this confusiion…
        or should i perform istikhara again..??
        plzzz answer my problem as soon as possible i will be higly obliged and will greatfull to u…..

        • Fathima Faroooqi

          Walaikum assalam sister,

          First of All, Please perform istikhara by yourself and not through anyone else. So for your marriage you are the one who should be performing istikhara not the mufti and Allah will guide you to make the right decision . If even after performing Istikhara you are not happy with the proposal then you need to call it off.

          Finally we would also like to add that if the groom and his family are righteous people insha’Allah it is from the sunnah to accept the proposal of a righteous man and the rest of the things will follow. Hope this answer helps.

          JazakAllahu khairan

  59. assalamualiekum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuhu
    The person i wanted to marry and i prayed istekhara several times..did not see any dream but his proposal always got delayed because of some situation or the other. i even was admitted in the hospital the day they were going to come to my house with the proposal. Now everything is over but i still think about him and dream about him, it could be because i think too much about him. But is it possible that he can come back to my life in future?

    • As’Salamu Alaikum.. I fell love with a girl 3 years ago.. we have crossed our limits few times.. Now Allah has guided me to right path.. i do thowba and seek for forgiveness from Allah for what I have done in the past.. in 3 years of love we have been faced trust issues but we didn’t get separated permanently .. now my qoestion is ” is it alright to leave her after we have been crossed our limits few times, if the istikhara is negative??? ” I don’t wanted she or myself to get marry to another person for sake of what we have done in the past… pls help me..

  60. Asalamualikum sisters, im in terrible need of reassurance my marriage keeps falling apart and it was due to the in laws causing arguments between us n now husband has had enough and cant stand anymore hes never stood by me its always been his family first i an pregnant with our second child 5 months and he has left me once again during my first pregnancy he did the same coz of his family causing problems i cant bare the pain n stress in this pregnancy i couldnt do it with first but i some how managed i guess praying helped. He wants a divorce n isnt willing to change his mind he said same with my first pregnancy but alhumdulillah eveeything worked out but this time it feels so different i cant stop thinking about everything and am worried its affecting my unborn baby i pray to allah and beg him to help take my pain away and fix my marriage. I been told that duas during pregnancy are one of the first to be accepted im holding onto that little bit of hope to stress less for the sake of my children i want to so istikhara but the methods i find seem complicated i was hoping someone could break it down for me so i can understand and do it properly and get my answer so my stress can reduce because right now its so high i feel extremely low and having some terrible thoughts which i dont want.

    • Fathima Faroooqi

      Walaikum assalam warahmatullah wabarakatuh my dear sister in Islam,

      Firstly, You need to completely focus on yourself and your connection with Allah before anything. Do your 5 daily prayers with complete sincerity, Do your istighfar and seek Allah’s forgiveness and strengthen your connection with Allah because Allah has promised that in His remembrance our hearts find rest.

      Secondly, You need to also take care of your health and your children especially the little one inside of you.

      Finally, What is happening around you might be stressful , very stressful but as long as you do the above things and strengthen you Eemaan and trust in Allah’s plans , then no one’s plans will succeed. Do all the dua’a you can for yours and your childrens’ future insha’Allah. Do your istikhara as it is not at all complicated. You just need to offer two rakat salah and make the above dua of Istikhara. Insha’Allah Allah will do whats best for you as He does not burden a soul more than he can bear, This is also a promise from Him.

      May Allah ease your situation Aameen.

  61. Alhamdulilah! But is istikhara used only when you want to make a decision or it can also help you get something you want. For example if you want to get married yet there’s no any proposal can you do it for Allah to help you get a spouse?

  62. After the istikhara I saw a dream in which I was getting engaged to one of the proposals I had to choose from and saw peach and white colour does it mean I’ll get married to him?

  63. Nahid Adnan

    Please I need an urgent help.
    I have known a person for last 5 years and found her to be good. Recently officially our families met up and setup venue and date for our marriage and exchanged finger rings as a sign of acceptance. You can clearly understand that there is a commitment has been given by two families about marriage. Still in this stage, I am feeling like seeking guidance from Allah Almighty. May be I still have to reside with the consequences I’ve brought in, but can I still seek guidance from Allah Malik by Ishtikhara?
    Please someone answer me as soon as possible…

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