7 Izinto Umkakho WamaSulumane Angeke Akutshele

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Ibhalwe ngu-Abu Ibrahim Ismail
Amadoda amaningi akuthola kunzima ukuqonda abesifazane. Ngisho nowesifazane asebeshade naye iminyaka.

Umzuzu owodwa ulunge ngokuphelele. Okulandelayo, ukhala okosana.Ukhala ngokuthile kodwa uma sinikeza iseluleko sokuthi singayilungisa kanjani, akakaneliseki.Ngemva kweminyaka eminingana beshadile (kanye nokwelulekwa) Ngiye ngafunda ukungakhathazeki kakhulu ngalokho umkami akushoyo. Kunalokho, Kufanele ngikhathazeke ngalokho angakusho.

Ngalolu lwazi engqondweni, Ngihlanganise uhlu olusheshayo lwezinto amadoda angamaSulumane okufanele aziqaphele uma kuziwa emqondweni womkawo.

1. Ngaphezu kwakho konke, Ufuna Uthando Lwakho

Lokhu kubuyela emuva kokuthunyelwe engikubhale ezinyangeni ezimbalwa ezedlule “Uthando noma Inhlonipho: Yikuphi Okukhethayo?”

In this article I explained that men desire respect from their wives, and women desire love from their husbands.

When a wife shows her husband less respect, he in turn shows her less love.And when a husband shows his wife less love, she in turn shows him less respect.And the vicious cycle repeats itself.

Stop this prophecy before it becomes self-fulfilling. Show love to your wife.That’s what she wants. Love her despite her flaws and quirks.And Inshallah, she’ll respect you despite your flaws and quirks.

2. She’s Bored

It’s the same thing every day.Week in and week out.Not only is she bored but she’s also tired.She has to care for the kids and run the household and then pamper you.

Just thinking about doing that every day makes me want to crawl under my covers and hide. I can imagine how the average Muslim housewife must feel.

And let’s not forget about working woman. Many Muslim women have to work a full time job as well as hold a house down.

So brothers, I implore you, make your wife feel special. Give her a break.Take her out sometimes. Surprise her with a surprise meal. Bring her favorite desert home.Just do something every now and then to break the monotany.

3. She Wants to Be Complimented

Appreciation.Everybody wants it.No one wants to feel as if the hard work they do goes unnoticed or even worse, it taken for granted.

Your wife does not have to clean your dirty clothes. And she does not have to cook your meals.But she does.

Futhi lokho ukwenza phezu kwazo zonke ezinye izinto ekuphileni kwakhe:

Ukusebenza noma ukuya esikoleni.
Ukunakekela izingane.
Ukulwela ukuba yiMuslimah elingcono.

Bonisa umkakho ongumSulumane ukuthi uyamazisa futhi uyabonga ngezinto azenzayo ukuze unakekele wena nomndeni wakho.

Ukuthi “ngiyabonga” okulula kuyisiqalo esihle.

4. Unomona Ngokuhlanya

Kunesizathu sokuthi abantu besifazane abaningi abanandaba nesithembu.Qaphela ukuthi ukhuluma kanjani ngabanye abantu besifazane eduze komkakho.

• Ungamqhathanisi nesihlabani samafilimu wesifazane.
• Ungamqhathanisi nomama wakho.
• Ungalokothi, uke umqhathanise nonkosikazi wakho wakudala (noma omunye umfazi!)
• Ufuna ukwazi futhi akholelwe ukuthi uyisikhungo somkhathi wakho. Ngakho menze azizwe kanjalo.

Ngisho noMprofethi (pbuh) abafazi baba nomona. Aisha (PHUMA) waze waba nomona ngoKhadijah (PHUMA) who was dead.

Expect, and respect, the same type of jealousy from your wife.

5. She Wants You to Help Her Become A Better Muslimah

If you haven’t seen it yet, I encourage you to watch this video I did a couple of weeks ago for Muslim men. In this video I stress the importance of men taking the role of leader within their families.And that’s the problem with a lot of Muslim men these days.

Not only are they not being good leaders, they’re being led by their wives (or mothers, or other women in their lives).Your wife desires and wants you to be her leader. And what better way to lead her than to be show her how to be a better Muslimah?

But you can’t show her how to become better if you’re not that great either. Ngakho-ke, you have to upgrade your Iman. You have to improve yourself and then pass it on to her in a gentle, respectful way.

6. She Doesn’t Like to Nag, But Sometimes You Make It Hard

It’s a common myth that women like to nag their husbands. That’s not entirely true.Yes, there are some people (amadoda nabesifazane) whom you can never please. No matter what you do, they’ll always find fault in something. Let’s be reminded of the following hadith:

Kulandisa u-Ibn Abbas: The Prophet said: “I was shown the Hell-fire and that the majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful.” It was asked, “Do they disbelieve in Allah?” (or are they ungrateful to Allah?) Waphendula, “They are ungrateful to their husbands and are ungrateful for the favors and the good (charitable deeds) done to them. If you have always been good (benevolent) to one of them and then she sees something in you (not of her liking), she will say, ‘I have never received any good from you.” Sahih Bukhari

Ngakho, yes sisters should be careful about denegrating the things your husband does for you.But very often, you Brother, make it hard for her to hold your tongue.

Perhaps you’re always finding fault with her and she looks for things in your character to get even.

Perhaps you’re not working (or not working hard enough) and she has to work to take up some slack.Perhaps you’re just not that great of a guy.

Once again, upgrade yourself and give her less reasons to complain and nag.

7. More Than Anything, She Wants a Stable, Happy Relationship With You

Women don’t get married just because they think it’s gonna be fun.

They get married because they want a happy family life and they believe you’re gonna give it to them.

Outside of her religious duties, that’s the most important thing in a Muslim woman’s life. Raising a happy, stable, Muslim family.

The funny thing is, it’s very easy for you to give that to her.

Stop acting like a jerk. Be a good husband to her. Be kind. Show her you love her.
Don’t threaten her with divorce or taking a second wife. Yebo, you have the right to do both. But using them as threats is inappropriate and detrimental to your marriage.
Trust in Allah, watch out for the tricks of Shaytan, and be patient with her. There’s nothing Shaytan would love more than to destroy your marriage.
Bheka? That isn’t all that hard, now is it?
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