Yabelana Lokhu
Kukaningi sizwa ngezinkinga ezenzeka phakathi kwabesifazane nomamezala. Ziningi izinto ezidala ubudlelwano obumuncu abanye besifazane ababa nabo nomamezala; ezinye zazo, kukhona:
Ukuntula inhlonipho: Ukuhlonipha abanye kuyimfanelo enhle okumelwe sibe nayo; akukhona ukuthi kwenziwa phakathi kwabantu ngaphandle kokuthi uthando nokuzwana kuzobagubuzela. U-Islaam uyale abasha ukuthi bahloniphe abadala babo, futhi kanjalo, ukuhlonipha umamezala kuyinto okufanele. Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi akayena nje umdala, kodwa futhi yingoba uyena owayeyisizathu sokuthi umyeni kamkhwenyana abe khona kulomhlaba, njengalokhu kunguye owamzalayo.
Umalokazana kumele azi ukuthi uzogcina esengumama, futhi uma kungowendodana, khona-ke ekugcineni uzoshada, ngakho-ke uyakuba nguninazala olangazelela ukuhlonishwa umalokazana wakhe. U-Amr ibn Shuayb walandisa ngegunya likayise ukuthi isiThunywa sikaAllah (ukuthula kube kuye) kusho, “Akayena omunye wethu ongabonisi umusa kuye (wethu) abancane, futhi akavumi ukuhlonishwa okufanele abadala bethu.”
Eveza ubutha: Kunolunye uhlobo lukamakoti olusebenzelana noninazala, kusukela ngosuku lokuqala, sengathi uyisitha sakhe esikhulu. Lokhu kungabangwa yindlela engalungile akhuliswe ngayo umalokazana, noma ezixwayisweni eziphindaphindwayo zikanina uqobo, umphakathi kanye nabezindaba bamnikeze mayelana nomamezala wakhe wakusasa ngaphambi kokuba ashade.
Ngokusekelwe kulokhu, inkosikazi ingenza yonke imizamo yokwenza umyeni wayo azonde unina nabafowabo nodadewabo; angase asungule ngisho nezenzakalo ezingakaze zenzeke, noma enze ihaba ekuhlobiseni abakwenzile; ngokuvamile angase asole unina womyeni wakhe nabafowabo nodadewabo kuze kube yilapho ephumelela ukumphoqa ukuba ashiye umuzi kanina ayohlala naye., yedwa.
Impilo enjalo iwushevu, kanye nenye equkethe izinkinga eziningi. Kubikwa uHaarithah ibn Wahb: “Ngezwa uMthunywa kaAllah ethi, “Ngeke ngikwazise ngeziboshwa zaseSihogweni? Bonke banobudlova, umuntu ongahloniphiyo futhi ozidlayo.”
Umyeni ubuya emsebenzini abone umkakhe omubi ekhala, ngakho uyambuza ukuthi kungani, kodwa aqhubeke nokukhala, ukuze athole umphumela omuhle kakhulu. Umyeni uyaphikelela ekwazini ukuthi kungani, kanjalo unkosikazi ekugcineni aphendule, ngezwi elingenanhlonipho, “Kuphakathi kwami noma umama wakho kulo muzi!” Umyeni ufuna ukwazi ukuthi inkinga ikuphi, "Kwenzenjani?” uyabuza, kodwa aphinde aqale ukukhala; kubuza umyeni futhi, “Ngicela ungichazele ukuthi kwenzekeni. Ekugcineni, kusho unkosikazi, “Umama wakho wangikhuluma kabi, base bebuthana odadewenu bangithuka. Ngenxa yokuthi umyeni ugqilazwe umkakhe, uthukuthele, futhi ngaphandle kokuzihlupha ngokuqinisekisa ukuthi isitatimende somkakhe siyiqiniso, uhamba ngesivunguvungu, amemeze unina nodadewabo; ukhohlwe isikhundla sikanina, nokuthi u-Allah uhambisana nokuhlonishwa kwakhe nokukholelwa kuNkulunkulu oyedwa wama-Islam lapho Esho (kusho ukuthini), “Futhi iNkosi yakho imise ukuthi ungakhonzi ngaphandle kwayo, nakubazali, ukwelashwa okuhle. Ukuthi oyedwa noma bobabili bayaguga [ngenkathi] nawe, ungasho kubo [kakhulu njengoba]: ‘uff‘ [i.e., isisho sokungavumeli noma sokucasuka] futhi ningabaxoshi kepha khulumani kubo izwi elihle. Futhi wehlisele kubo uphiko lokuzithoba ngomusa futhi uthi, 'Nkosi yami! Yiba nomusa kubo njengoba bengikhulisile [ngenkathi ngi] encane.'”
IsiThunywa sikaAllah (ukuthula kube kuye) kusho, “Injabulo kaAllah isekujabuliseni abazali bomuntu, futhi intukuthelo Yakhe iphezu kwabo.”
Ukunqamula izibopho: Abanye omalokazana banqamula ubuhlobo nomamezala bangabe besavakasha, noma ngize ngihlanganise lutho nabo. Omakoti abanjalo babhidliza ubudlelwano babo nomamezala. Umamezala ngumuntu, ngakho-ke angafisa ukuthi umalokazana wakhe amphathe njengomama; angeke athande ukunikwa ihlombe.
Kwezinye izimo kodwa, akabi umalokazana, kodwa kungenzeka ukuthi akazazi ezinye zezimiso zokuziphatha ngendlela yokusebenzelana nomamezala wakhe. Umalokazana onqamula ubuhlobo noninazala ubangela umyeni wakhe ukuba alahle unina futhi ahlukanise ubuhlobo bakhe naye.; kanjalo, inkosikazi enjalo iba yisizathu sokungahloniphi kwakhe kunina.
Abu Hurayrah (sengathi u-Allah angajabula ngaye) wabika ukuthi uMthunywa kaAllah (ukuthula kube kuye) kusho,”UAllah Wadala konke (Okwakhe) indalo, nalapho Eqeda umsebenzi wendalo yaKhe, U-Ar-Rahm (i.e., ubuhlobo nezihlobo) kusho: `(O Allah)! Kule ndawo ngiphephela Kuwe ekunqanyulweni kwezibopho zami.’ Kuphendula u-Allah: `Unganeliswa yini ukuthi ngibaphatha ngomusa labo abakuphatha ngomusa?, futhi unqamule ubuhlobo nalabo abanqamula ubuhlobo bakho?’ Lathi: `Ngenelisekile.’ Ngakho wathi uAllah, `Khona lokhu okwakho.’ Lokhu kungukusazisa ukuthi u-Allah Unikeze lezi zibopho isikhundla esiphezulu: lowo owaphephela kuYe waphiwa; futhi lowo ongeniswa esivikelweni sikaAllah nakanjani akasoze ashiywa.”4
Abu Hurayrah (sengathi u-Allah angajabula ngaye) wabika ukuthi uMprofethi (ukuthula kube kuye) kusho, “Kwangathi angahlazeka! Kwangathi angahlazeka! Kwangathi angahlazeka! – Lowo abazali bakhe, oyedwa noma bobabili, uthole ukuguga ngesikhathi sokuphila kwakhe, kodwa akangeni ePharadesi (ngokuba nesibopho kubo).”
Ngokolunye uhlangothi, izimbangela zobudlelwane obubi zingaba ngasohlangothini lukamamazala ngokwakhe, njenge: Ukuba nokhahlo umalokazana: Abanye omamazala baphatha kabi omalokazana babo, futhi bakhuthaze amadodana abo ukuba aphathe kabi omkawo. U-Abu Hurayrah ubike, "Ngizwile u-Abu Al-Qasim (i.e., uMprofethi) isho: “Ohluphekayo nguye yedwa inhliziyo yakhe encishwe umusa.”
Ukuba nomonakuthi umalokazana: Kungani abanye omamazala bethanda amadodana abo bebe bedelela omalokazana babo? Odokotela bengqondo bathi lokhu kubangelwa umona. Kungokwemvelo ukuthi abesifazane babe nomona, kodwa okwengeza kulokhu ukuthi umama unomuzwa wokuthi umalokazana uhlanganyele naye indodana yakhe futhi wayisusa esandleni sakhe.; ngakho-ke, kuphakama umncintiswano. Lokhu kunjalo ikakhulukazi uma okuwukuphela komhlinzeki noma umsekeli kamama kuyindodana, ngoba indima yakhe bekungaba ekababa ekunakekeleni izindaba zasekhaya nokuba ngumvikeli kamama wakhe., ngakho umama wayenomuzwa wokuthi ulahlekelwe indodana ebaluleke kangaka kumalokazana wakhe.
Abanye omama baba nomona lapho bebona amadodana abo ejabule futhi ejabulela ukuphila namakhosikazi awo; uma umalokazana eke wakhalaza kuye nganoma iyiphi inkinga engase ibe nendodana, wayengeke neze ameseke; kunalokho, wayehamba nendodana yakhe, noma ngabe uyena onephutha; ngaphezu kwalokho, wayezomlulaza umkakhe.
Ngezinye izikhathi, unkosikazi angenza konke angakwenza ukuze ajabulise umamezala; angase akhulume kahle kuye, mnike izipho, futhi umphathe ngenhlonipho, kodwa, umamezala wayehlale ezama ukudala izinkinga, njengoba enomuzwa wokuthi wayengalahlekelwa indodana yakhe.
Kulokhu udade welulekwa ukuba abekezele futhi acele uAllah (oNkazimulo, Onamandla) ukuze adambise isimo sakhe. Kufanele ahlakaniphe futhi abekezele futhi uma kungenzeka abonisane nomyeni wakhe ngaphandle kokubangela imizwelo ebuhlungu enhliziyweni yakhe ngonina..
Umthombo: Saleeha Bhamjee, http://idealmuslimah.com/family/in-laws/128-bad-relationship-with-the-mothers-in-law-
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assalaamu al aikom wa rahmatullah wa barakatu,
Kuthiwani uma uMamezala kunguye onqamula ubuhlobo nomalokazana?
Hewu, Ngifunde lokhu futhi ngibonga u-Allah wami ngokungibusisa ngomama nodadewabo abahle kakhulu, nakuba ngingakahlangani nabo bonke osisi bami emithethweni (abafowabo bomyeni wami’ abafazi) Ngikhuluma nodadewabo womyeni wami kanye nomunye usisi wasemzini (ohlala naye yedwa nomfowabo) njalo futhi angigcini ngokubabuka njengodadewethu abadala engingakaze ngibe nabo, kodwa nabangane bami abasondelene kakhulu, engingeke ngikwazi ukukhuluma ngakho nomyeni wami, Ngiyakhuluma nabo ngicela izeluleko zokuthi ngenzenjani nomyeni wami ngoba vele bona bamazi kangcono futhi bade kakhulu kunami.. Umamezala wami uMashAllah futhi, kusukela ekuhlanganeni kwami okumbalwa kodwa engikhumbulekayo, intokazi enomusa futhi ngiyambonga u-Allah wami ngokungithumelela nje kuphela umyeni omuhle kodwa futhi nomndeni omuhle kakhulu engizohamba naye. Ukufunda lesi sihloko kungenza ngiqaphele nakakhulu ukuthi ngisho noma ngezinye izikhathi ngazi esikhathini esizayo singase singavumelani ngaso sonke isikhathi kodwa inqobo nje uma ngibahlonipha., bayohlala bebahle kimina njengoba benjalo manje 🙂
omuhle
Inshallah one dau umamezala wami uzongithanda x dats konke engikufunayo ku-Allah x ngizohlala ngizama konke okusemandleni ami kusukela ku-nw kuya phambili futhi njengo-bfre x im ovela ngaphandle da fmly cabanga ukuthi kungani u-x iv ekhala cuz engikufunayo ukuthi ngingabi namahloni da wife of da son but a gud daughter in law a gud mum a gud wife a gud sistr in kaw kanye nomngani omkhulu kumuminlaw wami to xi wait. dat day ngokubekezela umkhuleko inshallah x
Ngiyabonga ngokubonisa ukuqonda isihloko esidingeka kakhulu. Ngiyawabonga amazwi akho okuhlakanipha, nokho, Ngiyazibuza ukuthi kungani kuhlale kugxilwa endodakazini yowesifazane ukuba abe nobudlelwano obuhle nomama bendoda, futhi hhayi ngokuphambene? Ngicabanga ukuthi mkhulu umsebenzi okufanele wenziwe ukuze kuqinisekiswe ubudlelwano obuhle phakathi kwabayeni kanye nezabo. Kugcizelelwa kakhulu ukuthi amakhosikazi enze intuthuko emshadweni, futhi ngenkathi ngikholwa ukuthi lokho kubalulekile, Ngingakujabulela ukufunda/ukuzwa okwengeziwe emithonjeni yamaSulumane mayelana nokuthi amadoda angaba kanjani abayeni abangcono.
Ngiyabonga futhi.
I agree with you coz the wife's family also maters alot
Umama wami akazwani nomama, ngakho akangithandi ngenxa yalokho. Im and omdala kusamele ngicele umamezala ukuthi ngingaya ezindaweni ezithile, Angikaze ngizwe izinto ezinjalo..Im married to her in many ways, ngezinye izikhathi ngizwa sengathi umyeni wami uwumngane wami omkhulu kuphela. Noma nini lapho ngifuna ukwenza okuthile noma ukuya endaweni ethile, uthi kumele ngimcele kumama wakhe yikho akucelayo. UAllah Uyazi ukuthi ubani oyobe engasekho kuqala emhlabeni, kodwa uma emuka kusasa, sizobuza bani?, akacabangi ngakho nokuthi uzowushiya lo mhlaba futhi izingane zakhe zizozihambela zodwa, kodwa unamathele kakhulu kulomhlaba futhi akacabangi nge-akhira……
Kuthiwani uma umkhwekazi echitha umshado wakho?
Hewu! Lesi sihloko sichemile futhi sihlangothi olulodwa. Inhlonipho nothando kufanele kunikezwe nhlangothi zombili ukuze kwakhiwe ubudlelwano futhi iqembu ngalinye kufanele liqonde ukuhluka kobudlelwano ngamunye. Sihlwanyela esikuvunayo futhi esikwenzayo ekugcineni kuyosithinta ngokuqondile noma ngokungaqondile. Ukuthula, uthando nenhlonipho futhi okubaluleke kakhulu umbono ongachemi uyadingeka kubo BONKE ubudlelwano ngakho kungani lo kufanele wehluke.
ngivumelana nawe…
Bismillah .Alhamdulillah …..Mashaa Allah i-athikili enhle kakhulu nomzamo omuhle kakhulu…….ngithemba ukuthi .inshaa Allah wonke amaMuslim ayazi ngezisho zoMprofethi uMuhammad SAWW zokuthi umuntu ongabahloniphi abantu abadala futhi ongabaphathi ngomusa izingane ..Akasiye omunye wethu ……..Ngakho-ke into yokuqala nokubalulekile okufanele sikubone ukuthi Umuntu oyedwa oyiMuslim u-Alhamdulillah kufanele enze ngokuvumelana neQuran n Sunnah yedwa kuqala njengoba wonke umuntu eyoziphendulela ngezenzo zakhe. …U-Allah subhana ngeke abuze kithi ukuthi ungitshele ukuthi omunye umuntu uziphatha kanjani nawe e-dunya??? …Cha …Okwesibili u-Allah subhana ungumvuzo ongcono kakhulu osinikezayo ukuthi sigxile emvuzweni u-Allah subhana anesithembiso sezenzo zethu ezinhle.…..JannaH …n le mihlaba ayiphelele , igcwele izilingo , ayikwazi b ejabule ngokugcwele Umhlaba ngaphandle kosizi …..iJannah yayo kuphela engunaphakade …n Okwesithathu ASINGAlindele lutho kunoma yimuphi umuntu ..Infact we shud only have Trust n Hope from Allah subhana …..Sengathi u-Allah subhana angasigcina sisendleleni elungile nelungile ..Ameen
Uma umkhwekazi wami ezenzisa futhi zonke izinto engizenzayo akazazisi.Uma ngingamfoneli izinyanga akasoze afona ezobuza mina noma izingane zami kodwa uhlala ekhuluma nendodana yakhe.,ingabe lokho kulungile? Ngikholelwa ukuthi uphatha njengomuntu wangaphandle.
kuyiqiniso okufanayo nakimi futhi ngibizwa ngomubi
its not always abt the daughter inlaws being bad the mothers contribute alot
Ngiyavuma….:) kokubili kufanele kube ngokubambisana …baliqis i knw such women who r doing this but u just ignore n try 2 finish it 4rm ur side.. sengathi u-ALLAH anibusise…:)
Ngivela ezweni laseYurophu. Ngathola futhi ngaba Muslim ngokukhetha kwami. Ngashiya izwe lami nomndeni wami ukuze ngilandele umyeni wami kude kakhulu nalapho ngikhona ekuqaleni. Kusukela ngomzuzu wokuqala ngahlangana nomndeni wami omusha emthethweni, bangiphatha kubi. Mhlawumbe ngenza amaphutha ngenxa yokuhlukana kwethu ngamasiko futhi ngangimncane kakhulu, kodwa angizange ngizikhukhumeze. Ulwazi lwami nge-Islam lwalungeluhle njengolwabo kodwa ngalufinyelela konke ngokwami, ukufunda kwami. Bangicwasa ngoba angazi njengabo. Basakwenza namanje ngemva cishe 11 iminyaka ngihlala lapha. Nalapho ngithandaza, Umamezala wami wayedlula eduze kwami angitshele ukuthi imithandazo yami yayiyize ngoba u-ALLAH wayengeke ayamukele.. Ngizile ukudla, uzongitshela okufanayo, ukuthi kwakuyize ukuthi ngangizila ukudla ngoba kwakungeke kwamukeleke.
Abazali bami bathanda inkolo. Bayakhuleka 5 izikhathi ngosuku, ngokushesha, ukuya eHaj njll.
Lapho ngikhulelwe ingane yami yesibili, mina nomyeni wami sasisenkingeni yezimali, ngifike kumamezala, ukuze uthole iseluleko futhi ikakhulukazi izwi elihle nje ukuthi kuzolunga ngoba anginamndeni noma izihlobo zami lapha. Wangitshela ukuthi ngithandazele ukuthi ingane yami izofa futhi ngethemba ukuthi into enjalo izokwenzeka. Wangitshela nokuthi ngenzeni ukuze ngikhiphe isisu ngedwa.
Ngabe useyiSulumane elilungile, ngoba ngaso sonke isikhathi lapho engitshela ukuthi angiyena umama olungile futhi angiyena umSulumane omuhle, ngihlale ngikhumbula iseluleko sakhe sokubulala indodana yami nakho konke okubi akwenza kimi?
Ngicasulwe yiyo yonke le minyaka yokukhungatheka, futhi ngiyakhuleka ku-ALLAH ukuthi angisize nginqobe ulaka lwami kodwa uma ephinda esho izinto ezinjalo kimi, ngiphinde ngicasuke.
Kumele ngenzeni?
Bangasho kanjani kanjalo? Yonke imikhuleko nokuzila ukudla kwakho kuyokwamukelwa uma ufundile i-kalima, kholwa ku 1 Allah kanye nomprofethi wakhe. Uguqule kahle? Khona-ke kuzokwamukelwa ngokubona kwami. Akufanele basho kanjalo enganeni yakho :/. Mhlawumbe bayakuhawukela njengoba kushiwo noma abakuthandi ngoba wawungeyena umslim b4. Kodwa akukho okungakuthandi kulokho.
Bakhulekele kuAllah futhi ubacelele intethelelo ngoba uma kukhona okungalungile okwenzile b4 ukuguqula futhi inshallah Allah uzolalela:) Cela usizo kuye infact uyena oxola kakhulu futhi onesihawu. Ngizokuthandazela nawe kanye nabo bonke odade……
Enye into futhi, waguquka ngemva komshado?
Inhliziyo yakhe ibuhlungu ukufunda okuthunyelwe kwakho, NjengomSulumane nami ngiyakuqonda ukuthi kunjani ukuphathwa kabi ngamanye amaSulumane azizwa emkhulu kunawe.. Kodwa okukhulu ukuthi uma ufunda i-quran kanye ne-hadith uzothola ukuthi banephutha futhi bamema ulaka luka-Allah ngezenzo zabo.. U-Allah uyisisekelo sethu futhi ukumthokozisa kufanele kube yikho konke okukhathalelayo. Noma umamazala wakho ubenenhliziyo embi futhi engenamusa kuwe, ube civil naye ungashintshi ngenhlamba naye, amamatheke futhi ajabule ezikhathini eziningi futhi kuzomenza azibuze ukuthi kungani ungacabangi ngobubi bakhe. Kodwa ngaphezu kwakho konke thandazela ukuthula okuqhubekayo, luv and mercy phakathi kwakho nomyeni wakho ngoba yikho okuzogcina ikhaya lakho. Sengathi u-Allah angawenza lula umthwalo wethu .
kufanele kube iminyaka enzima kakhulu odlule kuyo..ngiyaxolisa ngawe..
ngicabanga ukuthi kufanele uvakashele umndeni wakho eYurophu futhi uzame ukulungisa ubudlelwano bakho phakathi kwakho nomndeni wakho ongewona amaSulumane. Basewumndeni wakho ngisho noma bengewona amaSulumane. Ngaso sonke isikhathi khumbula lokho uMthunywa kaAllah (ukuthula kube kuye) kusho, “Injabulo kaAllah isekujabuliseni abazali bomuntu, futhi intukuthelo Yakhe iphezu kwabo.” Zama ukujabulisa abazali bakho ngaphambi kokuba ujabulise omunye (abazali bakho) ngoba ziyisizathu sokuthi kungani ukhona.
kuthiwani uma umamezala edala ukungazwisisi kahle b/w u n ur partner and portraying u rong n ujabula uma umyeni wakho ekuthuka nokukuphatha kabi. ithini intombazane enjalo
Lokhu kuchemile kakhulu futhi kubhalwe ngokucacile yindoda engenalo ulwazi ngamaqiniso empilo njengomamazala noma umkhwenyana.. Kunezindaba kulesi sihloko eziyincazelo engalungile yalokho okwenzeka ngempela.
Ngiyavuma, kuphi kungani kugxilwe kakhulu ebudlelwaneni be-daugther inlaw nomama womyeni wakhe? Kuthiwani ngobudlelwane bomuntu nabasemzini wakhe? Iyabona ukuthi isiko lihamba phambili kunenkolo.
ubhale amaqiniso amaningi ne-hadith ethandekayo kodwa angithandi lesi sihloko.Alhamdulilah,I have a vry good relationship with my MIL.i love her a lot,uyangimela n she is a freind.KODWA I hate the undertone of this article.I know a lot of heartless mother in laws.ur article very clearly tilts favouble on one side.instead you coud have written about how a daughter inlaw. kufanele abhekane nomamezala ongazi lutho futhi kufanele aqine kanjani ekulungeni kwakhe njengoba ekugcineni siphendula ku-Allah ngesenzo sethu. Surely u are aware that there are people who dont change and cause damage to our family life. .Wat iseluleko ongasinikeza ngalokho??Esingakwenza nje ukuba kuhle futhi sifune usizo luka-Allah.Njengombhali we-islamic kufanele uhlakulele isimo sengqondo sokungahluleli.Futhi iseluleko sakho kokubili i-MIL ne-DIL bekufanele sinikezwe ngendlela emnandi..
Sister bathe DIL kuphela ukukhombisa
umusa ilungelo? I-bcos akekho umama
imithetho uzofunda lesi sihloko. Kodwa ngi
uvumelana nawe ukuthi bobabili kufanele
baqondane. Futhi hhayi nje
abasha kufanele bahloniphe abadala kodwa bobabili kufanele bahloniphane.
ngisesimweni esifanayo lapho umamazala wami enomona futhi ucabanga ukuthi ngimthathele indodana yakhe, ubabazala wami washona 20 eminyakeni edlule futhi iv beshadile 6 iminyaka. uye wangitshela izikhathi eziningi ukuthi ngithatha indodana yakhe enginayo 2 izingane futhi sihlala ekamelweni elimpintshana ngenxa yokuthi umyeni wami akafuni ukushiya umama wakhe ngiye ngaqonda ukuthi ubaba wakhe akekho nokuthi uyena onakekela umama wakhe. (wathola nabafowabo abancane) iv wathi kuye uma kufika isikhathi lapho kufanele siphume sigula gibela umama wakho, kodwa ubonakala ecabanga ukuthi yimi omubi. konke kuzokwehla ekugcineni kosuku ukuthi baphathwa kanjani njengamadodakazi, umkhwekazi wami mver ngempela wayenomamezala wayeno step mother owayenonya kakhulu kuye, akakaze abe nothando lukamamezala ukuze aqonde ukuthi kunjani ukuthanda umalokazana. noma ngabe sikusiphi isimo nomama wethu hlala ukhumbula ukuthi ubuzomphatha kanjani owakho umama nokubahlonipha.
Dade bathi DIL kuphela ukubonisa isihe kulungile? Its bcos no mother in laws uzofunda lesi sihloko. Kodwa ngivumelana nawe ukuthi bobabili kufanele baqondane. Futhi akubona abancane kuphela okufanele bahloniphe abadala kodwa bobabili kufanele bahloniphane. 🙂
Asak,masha allah i-athikili enhle kakhulu ngiyazisa kakhulu lesi……..sengathi u-Allah angayibusisa yonke enye indodakazi e-lawzzzz….amennnnnn
Assalamu Alaikum
nginenkinga nomamezala wami.ngihlala ngimhlonipha futhi ngihlala ngimphatha njengomama wami..kodwa angazi why engafuni njengami.ungiphatha njengenceku…ngisebenza kusukela ekuseni kuze kube kusihlwa…she nvr allow me to pray salat timely.akathandi ukuthi ngichitha iskhathi sami nomyeni wami.akamthandi umuntu wakithi uhlezi ethi abasekhaya akusiyo type yakhe..ngoba we are nt very much reach like them…abathandi ukuthi umuntu angivakashele emndenini wami…umyeni wami uthi umama nobaba kumele bamphathe ngobukhosi nvr argu with him.
banginika ithoshi yengqondo neyomzimba futhi emini ebusuku ngisebenza endlini. kodwa ngibekezela ngaso sonke isikhathi.
but now I cant bcoz bahlale bethuka abazali bami…plz ngitshele ukuthi yini okufanele ngiyenze kulesi simo.Allah Hafiz
ngiyalithanda leli page, kungenza ngicabange ukuthi akumina ngedwa onezinkinga ezinzima, Allhamdulila ngibusiswe ngomyeni omangalisayo okwaziyo ukugcina ibhalansi phakathi kukanina nonkosikazi, yeh sinezinkinga njalo kodwa yini umndeni awunayo, ukube bekungengenxa yomyeni wami angicabangi ukuthi bengizokwazi ukumelana nayo. kubo bonke omamezala nomalokazana ngicela nihloniphe omunye nomunye, uma unikeza isikhathi sokuqonda omunye nomunye uzoba nobuhlobo obuhle obungakaze ucabange ukuba nabo. bekezelani omunye komunye, kuthatha isikhathi. inshallah u Allah uzoninika nobabili isaba eniyidingayo.
lesi seluleko sihle ngempela.. kodwa kuphela kulabo abanezinkinga kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo kulabo abajabule ngemithetho yabo futhi abafisa ukuthuthukisa ubudlelwano babo.. Umyeni wami kanye nabasemzini bangiphatha kangcono kakhulu kunabazali bami be-Alhamdulillah.. futhi ngiyethemba futhi ngiyakhuleka ukuthi kuhlale kunjalo.. Nakuba ngingafani nawo wonke umakoti kuleli khasi mina kuphela 3 izinyanga nomamezala ngabona ukuthi ngibusisekile ngoba umkhwe wami nabayeni bami ugogo bangithanda ama bits =) Abazala bamadoda ami nokho bazamile ukumosha ubudlelwano bami ngokuqamba amanga kimina nangokugxambukela ebhizinisini lomndeni wami ekubeni lingahlangene nabo.. ngiluxoxile udaba nomyeni wami wangeluleka ngokuthi ngingabanaki njengoba kuyibona abenza isono sokuzama ukucekela phansi umndeni wami.. nokho uma ngitshela umamezala uhlala impela ngoba azi ukuthi ngabashana bakhe abenza iphutha kodwa ekugcineni uma beqhubeka ngendlela abenza ngayo., umamezala uzomela bani? Mina noma abashana bakhe? kodwa nakuba nginokungabaza ngempendulo yalo mbuzo ngiyamazi uMyeni wami, Umkhwe nabayeni ugogo are alwayz ngakimi.. 🙂
Assalamalaikum….maningi amacala..hhayi nje 1..in sm i-DIL inkinga futhi ku-sm MIL inkinga kodwa kimina ngithola amagama ayiqiniso kakhulu : “umyeni oyisigqila” yomfazi okhalayo futhi enza konke okusemandleni akhe ukuze aqinise ubuhlobo bomyeni wakhe nonina nodadewabo..Lo myeni ogqilaziwe angahlala esola odadewabo ngamaphutha evry kodwa akakaze asole umkakhe ngoba ugqilazwa ubuhle nokuthandeka komkakhe bese eba yimpumputhe.…usola futhi ukhombisa ubutha kudadewabo ohlale emthanda naphezu ‘kokugqilazwa’ kwakhe..uyakhohlwa izinsuku zobunzima nenjabulo ayezihlanganyela nodadewabo ngenjabulo ngaphambi komshado wakhe.….Ngiyethemba mfowethu uvuke unqamule leliketango lenzondo…(umfowethu oyisigqila)…….isikhathi se-sm iseluleko shd futhi sinikezwe amadoda angabi yisigqila kodwa ahlulele njalo ngamehlo alungile….kodwa ababhali bacabanga ukuthi leli akulona iphutha lakhe…ukuba nomfazi ngokwemvelo kumenza isigqila futhi akukho lutho olungalungile ngakho…La haula wala Quwata illa billah
Kufana nokuthi umamezala bazibekele isimo cishe 9 koku 10 imishado. Kubi ngempela futhi ngenza i-dua ukuthi lokhu kuyashintsha noma abantu bashintshe lapho imiqondo yokucabanga. Akudingekile ukuba sihlukumeze omunye nomunye. Ngokuvamile kuwukubonakaliswa kwabantu abalimazayo imizwelo yabo yangaphakathi noma ukuhlushwa abazokuphatha ngokulandelayo.. Astaghfirullaah. Kwangathi u-Allah SWT angabeka ukwaneliseka ezinhliziyweni zabo
Asalam alaikum,
Kuyamangaza ukuthola lesi sihloko manje njengoba ngidlula enkingeni empilweni yami edalwe ubudlelwano obunzima nomamezala wami.. Ngiyaqonda ukuthi omakoti bangase babangele inkinga ngokuphatha abayeni babo futhi bazame ukuzigcinela bona kodwa bakhohlwe ukuthi umyeni wabo uyindodana kuqala..
Ngashada ngizitshela ukuthi nami kufanele ngikukhumbule lokho. Kodwa ngiyazi ukuthi umamezala wami uba nokuncintisana kakhulu futhi ngenkathi ngineminyaka yendodakazi yakhe uzama ukuncintisana nami kuyo yonke into futhi manje kuyaphazamisa.. Manje njengoba ngizama ukuyiziba yonke leyo mizamo usephenduke ulaka olukhulu ngokungithuka futhi engithuka kanye nomndeni wami kube kungekho muntu.. Lokhu kungithinte ngempela futhi manje kuthinta ubudlelwano bami nabanye abasebandleni kanye nomyeni wami. Ngiyasaba mina njengoba manje sinengane. Ngicela usizo ku-Allah futhi manje sengiqale Ijenali yomthetho kamama lapho ngibhala khona ukuhlukunyezwa engikuzwa nsuku zonke kuye.. Kuyasiza.Kuyangisiza ukuthi ngidlulise intukuthelo yami futhi ngingayikhipheli kumyeni wami ompofu. Nami ngimtshelile ngalesi simo kodwa kukhona angakwenza. Ngakho ngiphendukela ngempela kuAllah futhi ngimcele ukuba angisize kulesi simo.
Kumbhali/ Umshado Omsulwa,
Sikhona isixazululo sale nkinga! futhi lokho kunguMyeni kumele afunde ukugcina ubuhlobo phakathi kukanina nomkakhe busesimweni esihle nesizinzile. Okungcono kakhulu okufanele akwenze ukuba umyeni akhulume nonina zisuka nje futhi amtshele ukuthi umhlonipha kangakanani, futhi uzame ukususa noma yikuphi ukukhohlisa okungenzeka abe nakho esikhathini esizayo, kodwa ukhulume iqiniso lokuthi ungumama wakhe futhi umalokazana wakhe uzoba uMfazi wakhe! ukuthi uyabathanda futhi uyabahlonipha bobabili ngendlela okufanele bathandwe futhi bahlonishwe ngayo ngoba bangabantu ababili abahlukene abathatha izikhundla/indima/izimo ezimbili ezihlukene kakhulu empilweni yakhe..
Umyeni kufanele alalele unina, futhi umalokazana kufanele alalele umyeni wakhe KUPHELA uma lokho okuyaliwe kungamlimazi umalokazana. KUPHELA uma kuwukuziphatha, futhi umfazi kumelwe ahloniphe uninazala, kodwa futhi kufanele kuboniswane ukuze kuqinisekiswe ukuthi yena nomndeni wakhe bayahlonishwa futhi baphathwa kahle njengomuntu.
UNkulunkulu(swt) ichaza ngokucacile eQuran:
“O nina enikholwayo! lalela uAllah futhi ulalele isiThunywa (Muhammad, sengathi uNkulunkulu ambusise futhi amnikeze ukuthula), nalabo benu (AmaSulumane) abasegunyeni. (Futhi) uma nihluka ngotho phakathi kwenu, libhekise kuAllah kanye nesiThunywa saKhe (Ukuthula kube kuye), uma nikholwa kuAllah nasosukwini lokugcina. Lokho kungcono futhi kulungele ukuzimisela kokugcina.” (4:14)
“(58) Futhi Simyalile umuntu ukuba enze okuhle futhi ahloniphe abazali bakhe; kepha uma bezama ukunenza nihlangane naMi (ekukhonzeni) noma yini (njengozakwethu) elingenalwazi ngazo, khona-ke ningabalaleli. KuKimi ukubuya kwenu futhi ngizonitshela lokho enanikwenza. ” (29:58)
-Ngakho-ke ukuhlukumeza umkakhe/indodakazi kamyeni/noma yimuphi umuntu akwamukelekile ku-islam, ngakho-ke uma indoda ilokhu ilimaza umkayo ngenxa yokuthi unina eyitshela, khona-ke kungaba ukuhlanganisa abanye noAllah(swt) HHAYI ukulandela uAllah(swt), astaghfirullah.
Kunkosikazi, kufanele aqonde ukuthi umyeni wakhe unezinye izinto okufanele azenze kunokuba ahlale ekhaya axazulule izingxabano. Kumele akuqonde ukuthi umamezala wakhe akasoze akwazi ukumphatha kahle njengoba ephethe umamezala wakhe, ngoba umamezala wakhe USEMDALA futhi unezinkinga eziningi zempilo/ngokwengqondo okufanele azinakekele. Ngakho njengoba nje sinakekela izingane zisencane, kufanele futhi sinakekele abadala bethu njengoba isho Quran ukuthi abantu abadala baba buthaka njengezingane. Umakoti kumele abe nesineke esikhulu kuqala. Umyeni kufanele akhulume nomkayo amchazele ngesimo sikanina. Uma esho ngothando, uzosebenza kanzima ukuze athole uthando olwengeziwe. Indoda kufanele futhi iqonde ukuthi indlela ephatha ngayo amalungu omndeni womkayo yindlela umkayo okufanele aphathe ngayo unina/umndeni wakhe.. Uma engaluthandi lolu hlobo lwempatho kufanele aqale ukuba nomusa kumalungu omndeni womkakhe.
Ozithobayo,
Isazi sezokuhlalisana kwabantu 8)
Sawubona,
Sawubona nginguFaranaz futhi ngizoshada maduze e-Shaa Allah ngoDisemba.
Futhi ngifuna ukwazi into eyodwa, ngifuna ngempela ukukhetha izinto zami zasekhishini nokunye kwekamelo lami futhi ngatshela umkhwenyana wami. 2 eminyakeni edlule futhi angimazi.
Manje usisi wami ufuna ukukhetha yonke into engiyidingayo futhi angikufuni lokho. futhi ngokucindezela kanjalo igazi lami lase lehlile futhi ngangigula futhi ngisadla imithi. Empeleni ngifuna ukuhlala ebudlelwaneni bothando noxolo kodwa ngifuna ukukhetha okwami. Njalo uma ngitshela umkhwenyana wami ukuthi kukhona engikufunayo (okwenzeka ngokungajwayelekile) bazozama ukumkholisa ukuthi lokhu akukuhle noma umbala awuhambisani.
Ukukhuluma iqiniso ingoduso yami iyangithanda kakhulu futhi iyazama ukusibekezelela futhi yimina engingasisekeli ngaso sonke isikhathi..
Ngifuna ukuba umfazi omuhle kanye nosisi omuhle.
Ngicela ungisize.
Kruda Hafiz
Sanibonani,
Manje lokhu sekuveziwe ngifuna ukwazi ukuthi yini engenziwa mayelana nomuntu ocasula kakhulu, enomona, ethathekile umamezala, who cant stand me n uhlala ehleba abt me for 7 iminyaka manje. Engingakwenza wukuphuma endleleni yakhe. Ngimuzwa ekhuluma nami cishe nsuku zonke , ungumuntu ohlale ethanda gainin sympathy of anyone amtholayo ngokutshela abantu ukuthi akekho umuntu omnika i shit abt her. Is this my fault tht akakaze angithande kwasekuqaleni , n kancane kancane akukho nelilodwa ilungu emndenini wamadoda ami okhuluma nami ngenxa yalesi sithombe esimosha umkhuba wakhe? Ngiyekile ukukhuluma naye futhi ngihlala engxenyeni yami ngoba ngizame konke engangingakwenza eminyakeni edlule kodwa ukhathazeke kakhulu ngalokho engikwenzayo., kungani ngiphuma nendodana yakhe, kungani sijabule, mangaki amaphakethe egrosa esiwaletha. Uye waqinisekisa ppl ukuthi siphila impilo enhle ngenkathi ebola, ungaqonda ukuthi akunjalo. Angisamjabulisi manje…ngiyaxolisa ukusho..angazi ukuthi ngingayixazulula kanjani le nto. Njengamanje i am emotionally n mentally disturbed..i also have a 3 indodana eneminyaka.