Umthombo : http://www.onislam.net/english/family/husbands-and-wives/love-and-intimacy/415028.html
Ngu-Huda Gamal Al-Deen
Isihleli Sokusiza – IGibhithe le-Onislam.net
Yini 'ikhefu', yikhefu ukuze ulondoloze ubudlelwano obunempilo emshadweni. Ikhefu ebudlelwaneni lingaba nomphumela omuhle kwabanye bethu, Uma umuntu efuna ukugwema 'ukuhlukana'.
Isikhathi sami sokuqala ukuzwa ngombono 'wekhefu' ebudlelwaneni bomshado uvela kumngane wami owawusanda kushada. Umngani wami wayesijoyina 3 uhambo lwemini. Angikwazanga ukufihla ukumangala kwami lapho ngimthola esondela kuye. Wayeshade unyaka kuphela ngalesi sikhathi futhi ngangicabanga ukuthi kunengqondo kuphela ukubabona njengombhangqwana oshadile. Angizange ngixoxe ngalolu daba naye, Njengoba ngangicabanga ukuthi kufanele kube uhlobo lwenkinga yomuntu siqu phakathi kwakhe nomyeni wakhe. Benginesiqiniseko sokuthi ukucatshangelwa kwami bekuqinisile lapho ngosuku lokuqala lohambo Alutholanga ucingo oluvela kumyeni wakhe.
Ngosuku lwesibili, Ngibonile ukuthi umngani wami ubesekholi lefoni ende, Futhi bekusobala kakhulu ukuthi wayeyithokozela leyo ngxoxo, Ngenkathi uhamba olwandle ngokushona kwelanga. Ngangazi-ke ukuthi wayekhuluma nomyeni wakhe. Nginqume ukuqhubeka ngiyombuza ngokuqondile, Okwenza umyeni wakhe engazange asijoyine ohambweni? Ngamangala lapho engitshela ukuthi umyeni wakhe unaye umngani wakhe ohambweni lwezinsuku ezintathu, Futhi ngamangala lapho engitshela ukuthi 'baphukile'.
Okwesikhashana, Igama elithi 'break' lizwakala limangalisa kimi, Kwakufana noku- 'break-up' noma okunye ngencazelo engemihle kakhulu. Ngibuze umngani wami ngencazelo ye- 'Break'.
Indlela yokuphefumula impilo emshadweni
Ungitshele ukuthi 'ikhefu' kuyindlela enempilo yokuvuselela, qinisa, futhi unikeze impilo emshadweni. Mngani wami, owayethatha izeluleko zomeluleki womshado, Njengoba umshado wakhe wawungasebenzi kahle muva nje. Uthe useqalile ukuba nesithukuthezi ngempilo yomshado, Futhi izinkinga eziningi zazingena emshadweni wazo.
Ngemuva kokuzama izindlela eziningi ezingasebenzi ukulawula ukuphikisana njalo nokuxabana, Umeluleki wakhe wamtshela ukuthi lesi yisikhathi esifanele kubo bobabili ukuba babe 'ikhefu'. 'Break' lapho ngamunye wabo angalahla umoya, Nethezeka, Cabanga wedwa, futhi abuyele amandla awo ukuze aqhubeke nomshado ngendlela ezolile.
Ngithinte umngani wami kamuva ngemuva kohambo, Futhi wathi u-Al Hamdu Lillah Izinto zazingcono phakathi kwakhe nomyeni wakhe. Ungitshele ukuthi 'ikhefu' kwabanikeza bobabili isikhathi nendawo abakudingayo ukuqeda imithwalo yabo yomuntu siqu, Cabanga ngokucacile, futhi bazihlole ngokweqiniso njengabalingani kulo mshado. Umlingani ngamunye unesibopho sempumelelo yalobu budlelwano obubalulekile bomshado. Ubuye wathi 'ikhefu' lenze laba yimide bobabili, Umuzwa wokuthi bobabili abakaze bakujabulele isikhathi eside kangaka, Ngenxa yokugqokwa nokudabuka kwemidlalo yansuku zonke.
Kunemibono ethile ongayidinga ukuyisebenzisa. 'Break' ophumelelayo, Njengoba ngithole ukuthi isetshenziswe ngendlela engafanele ingaholela ekutheni i-'ky-up 'embi kakhulu.
- Qiniseka ukuthi kuyindlela efanele: Into yokuqala okufanele uzazi mayelana 'nekhefu', ukuthi akuyona njalo indlela efanele yokuxazulula izinkinga phakathi kwemibhangqwana eshadile. Kungakho kuthatha isinqumo sokuthi 'break' kufanele kususelwe ekwelumeni okuqondile komshado, futhi nabobabili abalingani bayavuma. Lapho uthatha 'ikhefu', Bobabili abalingani kufanele babambe iqhaza futhi kufanele bajabulele ikhefu. Lokhu kusho ukuthi yilowo nalowo kufanele abe nesikhathi esendleleni angathanda ngayo.
- Ngokuzithandela hhayi ngenkani: Uma umlingani enquma ,Ngemuva kokubonisana nomeluleki, Ukuthi 'ikhefu' kuyadingeka ukuphulukisa ubudlelwano babo, kufanele aqale athathe imvume yomlingani wawo. 'Break', akusona isinqumo ongasithatha ngokwakho, bese uphoqa umlingani wakho ukuthi amukele. Kuyisinqumo esidinga bobabili abalingani ukuthi bahlale ndawonye baxoxe ngokuthi ngabe kuyikhambi elifanele lenkinga noma cha. Uma umlingani oyedwa enqaba kakhulu umqondo we- 'Break', umlingani ethanda, Uma kungakwazi ukukholisa, kufanele ibukeze umqondo futhi ubekezele. Khona-ke kufanele bazame ukusesha izixazululo ezisebenziseka kakhulu ezihambisana nazo zombili.
- Misa okwesikhashana hhayi ukwahlukana: Lapho uthatha 'ikhefu', Bobabili kufanele bakhumbule ukuthi kuyisitobha sesikhashana nje sokucabanga ngokuthula nangokucacile. I- 'Break' iyindlela kuphela engaholela ekuxazululeni izinkinga ezihlangene phakathi kwemibhangqwana, ngakho-ke kubalulekile kubo bobabili abalingani ukuthi bahlale bexhumana nomunye. Akuyona 'ikhefu' noma isikhathi sokuhlukanisa, Kepha ikhefu. Impilo yomshado kufanele iqale ngendlela enempilo.
- Ukucabanga ukungabaleki:Eminye imibhangqwana iphatha isikhathi sekhefu sengathi yisikhathi sokubalekela izinkinga zomshado. Akekho ongaphika ukuthi ikhefu linganikeza bobabili ababambisene nabo ukuze balayishe izingcindezi zempilo yansuku zonke, Kepha umshado uwumthwalo wemfanelo.use isikhathi sokucabanga ngezixazululo nezindlela zokwenza impilo yomshado ilinganiselwe. Uma bobabili babheka 'ikhefu' njengeholide kuphela emshadweni wabo, Izinkinga zabo ezingalungiswa zizohlala zinjalo lapho zombili zibuya ndawonye. I- 'Break' akuyona nje ukuphumula kuyithuba lokucabanga.
- Mfushane hhayi isikhathi eside: Njengamanye amazwi amadala okuhlakanipha athi "ibanga lenza inhliziyo ikhule", Isikhathi eside 'ikhefu' yindlela emfushane kakhulu 'yokuqhekeka'. Ama-fumber 'break' yilezo zikhathi ezimfishane ', enze kuphela umbhangqwana olangazelela omunye komunye.
Akukho sikhathi esikhethekile se- 'Break' ephumelelayo, Njengoba ikakhulukazi kuncike ezidingweni kanye nemvelo yombhangqwana. Kulabo abathola 'ikhefu' eliphumelelayo, Isikhathi esamukelekayo asikaze sidlule isonto.
Into ebaluleke kakhulu ongayithola ekugcineni ukuthi, I- 'Break' iyindlela ephakanyisiwe kuphela yokwelapha izinkinga zakho zomshado, Futhi akusona ngaso sonke isikhathi ikhambi elifanele. Ingxoxo Efudumele, Ukuphuma ndawonye, noma ukuqondile kungaphumelela ukwedlula 'ukwephulwa' kwezinye izimo. Wena njengombhangqwana ungcono kakhulu ukunquma indlela efanele yokuxazulula izinkinga zakho, Futhi kanjani ukuyohamba ngomkhumbi wakho emshadweni ngokuphepha ogwini olunzima lwempilo.
____________________________________________________
Umthombo : http://www.onislam.net/english/family/husbands-and-wives/love-and-intimacy/415028.html
Le ndatshana iyasiza kakhulu futhi ngiyabonga kumlobi ngesisombululo esikhulu sokwenza impilo ibe ngcono.
Kuyincazelo enhle yokuba ne “ukwephuka” Esikhundleni sokuthatha isinqumo sokuthi ungaphela kanjani ubuhlobo.Isiza ukwandisa amasu we-Chite Chite n ukuzama amasu wokuzama ukusebenza ngokugxila okuyinhloko kokuqala okuphumelelayo
Emshadweni, Imvamisa sigxile kakhulu ngezinqubo zansuku zonke nempilo esivame ukukhohlwa ukucabanga njengabantu ngabanye. Konke kuhlale kubhekene nokubhekana nezinto njengombhangqwana noma umndeni. Ikhefu liyindlela ephumelelayo yokuhlunga ikhanda lakho ngaphandle bese uphinde uthole okuthandayo, ukungathandwa, izifiso nokuthola inkomba entsha ebudlelwaneni. Ingozi kuphela lapho ikhefu lesikhashana lesifushane liba isikhathi eside kunalokho okuhlosiwe futhi ekugcineni kuholela ekuqhekekeni. Ngicabanga ukuthi into enhle kakhulu ngendlela futhi, ngoba-ke nobabili nithola ngempela ukuthi izinhliziyo nemiphefumulo yakho zisemshadweni noma cha. Uma kudabukisa ukuthi akunjalo, Kungenzeka kube yisikhathi sokuvala lesi sahluko sempilo yakho bese uqala okusha.
Ikhefu liyisixazululo esihle, kodwa hhayi kuzo zonke izimo….Ngaba nekhefu kusuka kumyeni wami futhi manje uthi uyasithanda isikhala sakhe futhi ufuna siqhubeke siphila ngokwahlukana futhi sibonana kuphela ngezimpelasonto!!!! Yilokhu okubiza umshado?
Cha lokho akuwona umshado ngezinga lomuntu…Bengicabanga ukuthi umbono wekhefu ukuxazulula izindaba ngazinye ngenhloso yokuhlangana futhi ngombono omusha namandla okuthola kabusha lokho okulahlekile ebudlelwaneni bokuqala. Ngabe ulihumushe kanjani isicelo sakhe shaheen?
Ngifuna ukusho ukuthi ngiyabonga kumlobi wale ndatshana,Njengoba ngihlala ngizwa isidingo sokusuka kumyeni wami ngezinsuku ezithile njengeGiong ezweni lethu ekhaya ukuze ngiphumule nje mina nendodana yethu, Manje sengingachaza imizwa yami kuye ngendlela azoyiqonda ngayo.
yebo dadewethu , kodwa okubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi unakekela leyo mibono eqokonyiswe ngenhla , Inshaallah thandaza futhi ngithemba ukuthi kusebenza kahle
Izamile futhi ihlolwe!! Lokhu empeleni kuyasebenza! Ngenxa yemithwalo yemfanelo yakhe yokusebenza umyeni wami kufanele ahambe ekhaya isonto noma ngaphezulu noma ngaphansi kwenyanga! Sihlala sithintana futhi sinikeze omunye nomunye isikhala nesikhathi sokukhumbulana futhi ngaso sonke isikhathi ubuyela emseni futhi engifuna kakhulu! Lokhu “ukwephuka” isinikeza isikhathi sokucabanga ngezinkinga ezihlushwa umshado wethu…Sixoxa ngezinkinga uma sesinikeze isikhathi.
Lokhu kungisebenzele futhi ngithemba ukuthi kungasebenzela odadewethu laphaya! Kufana nokuthi bathenga efasiteleni!
Ezinyangeni ezimbalwa ezedlule lapho umyeni wami esho ukuthi ufuna ukwehlukana, Ngaphatheka kabi. I-PRIVERANKREW91@yahoo.com washintsha impilo yami futhi wangisiza ngisindise umshado wami. Ngijabule ukusho ukuthi ekugcineni kufanele sibe ndawonye futhi angikaze ngijabule. Siyabonga ngokusebenzisa amandla akho ukuletha injabulo kwezinye izimpilo zabantu. ISuzan
Ngizoyinika icala, Ngithandazela ukuthi ungisebenzele.