Author: Zohra Sarwari
“Walakaium Asalam Wa Rahamtullah Wa Barakatuhu, nothing much Ahmed, just been busy, how have you been?” said Mahmood.
“Alhamdullilah, I have been great, Allaah (SWT) has blessed me with a wonderful wife shortly after I finished College, and now we have 2 beautiful daughters, mashAllaah. I have a good job as an engineer, and I am teaching Quran on Sunday’s to the kids at an Islamic School. Alhamdullilah. How about you? I heard that you too got married, mashAllaah. So tell me all about your life. “ said Ahmad.
“Yeah I got married, to the most beautiful girl in the city of Kandahar. Every man wanted to marry her. Her father requested that whomever wants to marry his daughter must pay $20,000 cash for her family. I thought she must not be that pretty, so I went to see for myself, when I went back home to visit dome family members.
SubhanAllaah, the rumors were true, I had never seen anyone more beautiful than her. Light skin, green eyes, dark hair, slim, she could have been a super model. I knew once I saw her that she was the one I had to have. My desires and ego would not let me let her get away. So I told her dad, I will pay him $5,000 as a deposit so that he may not give her to anyone else, and I would bring the other $15,000 within a month. He agreed. He let her see me, and she too agreed, and I felt that I was the luckiest man on earth. However, that was only the beginning. Her father told me she too had a list of requests and that I would have to fill those as well. He said that was her mahr list. I said, ok, let me hear it. She said she has never worked a day in her life in the kitchen or cleaned. She needed a maid and a cook after she got married, to have the same lifestyle. She also said she wanted a nanny for the kids whenever she had any, and she wanted a nice big beautiful home and an allowance of $1,000 a month for her own personal use. Once again I agreed. I could not say NO to her, she was so beautiful, I would give her anything she wanted.” said Mahmood.
“MashAllaah, it seems like a fairy tale. You always said you would marry someone for her looks. I am so happy for you. Do you guys have any children?” said Ahmad.
“My dear Ahmad, it is far from a fairy tale. Yes we do have 2 kids, 1 boy and 1 girl. However, the troubles began after the marriage.” Said Mahmood as he sighed and became silent for a moment. He looked down very sadly.
“Troubles? What troubles? IS everything ok?” said Ahmad.
“Alhamdullilah it is ok now, but I went through 4 years of hell, my dear brother. That is 1461 days of hell on earth. If you only knew.” Said Mahmood.
“Please tell me what happened.” Said Ahmad.
“Well you see Ahmad I married for looks, the most beautiful woman, but I should have listened to the Prophet Muhammad (SAAW) and married a woman for her deen. You see I worked 3 jobs just to meet all of her demands, for a maid, a cook, a nanny, and everything else she wanted. I never had time to enjoy being with her. All I did was work about 18 hours a day, to make her happy, but she never cared to make me happy. When I was not working all she did was complain about what she did not have. SubhanAllaah. Everyday I thought what a terrible decision I made to marry her, and how much, I wish I could change it. However, now I had 2 kids with her, and I knew it was too late for me. I felt doomed, and depressed.” Said Mahmood, as he sighed again and long deep breath.
“AsughfirAllaah, I am so sorry to hear that my brother. It seems that your marriage has some serious issues. So how are you fixing it?” said Ahmad.
“Well, I fixed it, after 4 years of torture, I spoke to several Imams and told them, that my deen was falling apart because of this marriage. Before my marriage I used to pray 5 times a day at the masjid, I used to attend the Friday night halaqa’s, I used to volunteer at the masjid on the weekends, etc. After marriage I couldn’t do anything, but be a slave to this woman. The imam’s told me I had a right to ask for divorce if she was keeping me from my deen, and making me to be a slave to her. They told that I could not be a slave to a woman, but a slave to Allaah. As hard as it was for me to do this to my children, I realized it was the best thing to do. So I asked her for a divorce. She asked to be send back home to Kandahar, Afghanistan to be with her parents. As much as I did not want to be far away from my kids, I did as she asked. I would have my kids come for the summer, and I would visit them twice a year in Afghanistan. SubhanAllaah, it has only been 3 months since my divorce, and I have never been happier. I am back to 1 one job, praying at the masjid 5 times a day, and a simple lifestyle. I am even taking classes in tajweed right now. Alhamdullilah.” Said Mahmood.
“SubhanAllaah, I thought stories like this only happen in the movies. I never thought in reality women could be that way, even if they were so beautiful. What do you think was the lesson here? What advice would you give other brothers who are looking to marry the most beautiful women?” said Ahmad.
“I tell all of the brothers to never marry for looks…to marry a righteous girl for her deen. To not be arrogant or shallow, and to remember that happiness is when both people in the marriage think about making each other happy. It is a win-win relationship not a one way relationship, inshAllaah. That inner beauty is more beautiful than outer beauty. That the one who follows the path of Islaam will always know the true meaning of happiness versus the woman who is following her desires in this world. She will be in an illusion of happiness, and nothing will truly make her or her husband happy.” Said Mahmood.
“MashAllaah, well said my brother, well said. I am very happy of the lesson that you have learned, and how your helping brothers by telling them about what true beauty is. May Allaah always keep you happy, and may He bless you with a righteous wife who has inner beauty that glows from her face. Ameen. My dear brother it looks like the Imam is here and salah is about to start, so let’s go and make wudoo, and get ready.” Said Ahmad.
“Yes, let’s go and get ready. My favorite time of the day.” Said Mahmood as he smiled.
In conclusion, I want all of you readers to know that this is based on a true story. SubhanAllaah, many sisters and brothers fall for the trap of beauty. They think that if their spouse is good looking then everything else will be perfect inshAllaah. Wrong. Sisters think about it, think about truly what matters at the end. I know as a mother of 4 kids, that I only want righteous believers to marry my children inshAllaah. I want you to think about your children, your sisters, your family members and ask yourself, at the end of the day what is important, and what is not. I remember another story of a brother asking for a sister’s hand who was beautiful mashAllaah, and she said yes. Several months later after they were engaged and about to get married, she got into a car accident, and she was in bad shape. Her beauty was no longer there, immediately the brother broke off the marriage. SubhanAllaah. Therefore, each one of us needs to think what is valuable to us most when we are approaching marriage, and we should take the advice of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (SAAW), and marry the one who has the best character and deen.
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