Key Advice for the Newly Wed

Post Rating

Rate this post

By Pure Matrimony -

Source: http://www.haqislam.org/advice-for-newly-wed/

Islamic Da’wah Academy

“You have never seen anything better than marriage for those who love.” (Ibne Mãjah)

Shaykh Muhammad Saleem Dhorat dãmat barakãtuhum advises:
1. Every action is dependant upon intention. When marrying, both partners should therefore make a firm intention to accomplish the following objectives:

  • Following the Sunnah of our beloved Nabee Muhammad s.
  • Safeguarding oneself from sins.
  • Parenting pious children.

2. When marrying, each becomes the other’s lifetime companion. Each should understand and appreciate that Allah S has brought them both together and that their destiny in life has now become one. Whatever the circumstances: happiness or sorrow; health or sickness; wealth or poverty; comfort or hardship; trial or ease; all events are to be confronted together as a team with mutual affection and respect. No matter how wealthy, affluent, materially prosperous and “better-off” another couple may appear, one’s circumstances are to be happily accepted with qanã‘at (contentment upon the Choice of Allah S). The wife should happily accept her husband, his home and income as her lot and should always feel that her husband is her true beloved and best friend and well-wisher in all family decisions. The husband too should accept his wife as his partner-for-life and not cast a glance towards another.

3. Nowadays, the husband reads about, and is well-informed of his rights and demands them. Similarly, the wife reads of her rights and expects them. However, both should concentrate on being aware of each other’s rights and then strive to fulfil them. This is the prescription for a prosperous marriage and everlasting love.

4. During the first year of marriage, the couple must try and spend as much time as possible together. This is especially true for the first two months as it provides an opportunity to understand each other’s temperaments and establishes a firm foundation which contributes towards securing a prosperous marriage.

5. The couple (especially the husband) must make a point to arrive home early after ‘Ishã Salãh and scrupulously avoid the habit of socialising with friends late into the evening. Wherever possible, business, employment and other activities should be concluded beforehand or curtailed in order to set aside time for spending together.

6. Mutual respect between husband and wife should not be lost. They should each be very particular about following the Deen right from the initial stages of married life. This will also ensure a religious environment for the children to be nurtured in, contributing greatly towards their successful upbringing.

7. True and everlasting prosperity is only possible for Muslims when they follow the Sunnah of Rasoolullah s in all affairs. The couple too, should adhere to the teachings of Rasoolullah s in all their matters and abstain from anything which contradicts them. Careful attention should be given to this in their intimate relationship too. Inshã’allah this will be an assured approach to acquiring the blessing of pious offspring.

8. In the initial stages of marriage, the love between the couple is a physical bond, wherein emotional changes take place all the time. Despite great passion and physical love for each other, affection between the couple is not yet well established or on a rational basis. Such rational love comes after many years together. It is therefore extremely important for the husband not to succumb to emotional weaknesses at the onset and let the marriage waver towards an irreligious direction. Both the husband and wife should make a pledge to each other to steadfastly follow the Deen, especially in the performance of Salãh and in avoiding all sins.

9. Marriage is like the weather, forever changing. Sometimes it is cloudy and rainy, life appears gloomy, then the sun appears and rays of happiness break through bringing joy. At times, one experiences rain, wind and sunshine all in one day. Such is life, and like the seasons, we go through different experiences. The secret is to remain devoted and steadfast to one’s Deen and spouse.

10. The husband should be sympathetic to the fact that his wife has left her parents, brothers and sisters to start a new life with him. Her sacrifice and her feelings should be respected and joy should be felt by both partners at the expansion of their families.
Just as the wife should treat her husband’s parents as her own, he should also extend affection, courtesy and respect to his new in-laws.

11. As soon as one experiences a problem, no matter how trivial, which remains unresolved for more than three days, consult a person who is both knowledgeable and your sincere well-wisher.


Source: http://www.haqislam.org/advice-for-newly-wed/

Islamic Da’wah Academy

3 Comments to Key Advice for the Newly Wed

  1. Masha Allaah, great advice. I would also like to add that the spouses must be patient with the other’s shortcomings. She is not perfect, neither is he. Moreover, patience is a great virtue.

    Somewhere, it was given as advice to husbands, entitled as “Love Your Wife”:

    Love her … when she sips on your coffee or tea. She only wants to make sure it tastes just right for you.

    Love her… when she “pushes” you to pray. She wants to be with you in Jannah (Paradise).

    Love her… when she asks you to play with the kids. She did not “make” them on her own.

    Love her… when she is jealous. Out of all the men she can have, she chose you

    Love her… when she has annoying little habits that drives you nuts. You have them too.

    Love her… when her cooking is bad. She tries.

    Love her… when she looks dishevelled in the morning. She always grooms herself up again.

    Love her… when she asks to help with the kids homework. She only wants you to be part of the home.

    Love her… when she asks if she looks fat. Your opinion counts, so tell her she’s beautiful.

    Love her… when she looks beautiful. She’s yours so appreciate her.

    Love her… when she spends hours to get ready. She only wants to look her best for you.

    Love her… when she buys you gifts you don’t like. Smile and tell her it’s what you’ve always wanted.

    Love her… when she has developed a bad habit. You have many more and with wisdom and politeness you have all the time to help her change.

    Love her…when she cries for absolutely nothing. Don’t ask, tell her its going to be okay

    Love her… when she suffers from PMS. Buy chocolate, rub her feet and back and just chat to her (trust me this works!)

    Love her… when whatever you do is not pleasing. It happens and will pass

    Love her… when she stains your clothes. You needed a new thobe (kurta) anyway

    Love her… when she tells you how to drive. She only wants you to be safe.

    Love her… when she argues. She only wants to make things right for both

    Love her… she is yours. You don’t need any other special reason!!!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

×

Check Out Our New Mobile App!!

Muslim Marriage Guide Mobile Application