Letting Go

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By Pure Matrimony -

Author: Zaima Khaliq

‘But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not.’ (2:216) 

Every single person we encounter in our lives, can be categorized as one of two things, either a blessing, or a test. Of these people, some will become permanent fixtures, and secure a place in our lives, while others will pass through, but not without leaving behind remnants of emotions and memories gone by. It is what these individuals teach us in leaving, that will resonate with us.

The heart, being a complex and powerful entity, does not always comply with what is right, or what is deemed acceptable. Sometimes, it invariably forms an affinity towards someone it simply should not. The reality is, that this is an incredibly difficult situation to deal with and can cause extreme emotional distress, and worse case scenario, a detachment with ones deen.

Whether it be that your parents disapprove of the union, or that the object of your affections is simply inaccessible, sometimes you find yourself harboring feelings for someone you cannot be with, causing one of the most prominent trials you will ever experience in your life…the decision to let go.

You may question why you’re inclined towards someone that is out of reach.

Unfortunately, the heart does not come with a manual, nor does it come with a reset button. So if you find yourself maneuvering on this difficult emotional terrain, know that there is a higher purpose to your strife. Hidden within this undesired situation, is a chance for you to prove your worth to the Almighty, in adhering to the prophetic ways and behaving in accordance with Islamic teaching. You may not be accountable for your emotions, but you are most definitely accountable for your actions and intentions.

Above all things it is important to remember that there is absolute wisdom in the way that Allah swt works, and unbeknownst to us mere mortals, his plans for us exceed anything we could plan for ourselves. Know that is for your betterment that you are being tested. After all, it is a test, of your patience, of your servitude and of your commitment to perusing an Islamic lifestyle.

Fear not, for “You will never give up a thing for the sake of Allah (swt), but that Allah will replace it for you with something that is better for you than it.” (Ahmad). Find relief in the promise, that in sacrificing something with the intention of pleasing Allah (swt) , He will never leave you uncompensated. Allah (swt) only takes in order to give, to empty your hands for the blessings that are yet to be bestowed.

I know what you may be thinking, If something is going to be returned in one form or another, then why does it have to be taken away at all? Well the answer to this is simple. It is in the process of ‘loosing’ that we are ‘given’. It may be that you were not ready to accept the responsibility of one of the greatest blessings, or perhaps you had a lesson to learn before you could fully embrace the blessings given to you by Allah (swt) . Allah knows while we do not.

So, I cannot tell you not to love somebody, nor to ignore the intricacies of your heart, but I can tell you, that this world is a trial for the believer and a playground for the disbeliever. Know that if you do possess feelings for an unattainable individual and you feel you are being tested to the very bound of your strength, it is because God loves you and wants you to strive for a better Akirah by proving your worth. It may seem difficult at first, but anyone who leaves anything for the sake of Allah will never regret it

Also know that, no matter the size of your transgressions, It is disbelief to assume that your sins are greater than the mercy of Allah (swt). Shaytaan may try and convince you otherwise, that you are far from forgiveness, and should continue on the path of self deprecation. This simply could not be further from the truth. True sincere repentance can be made at anytime and you can turn towards Allah at any point.

Allah (swt) says: “Take one step towards me, I will take ten steps towards you. Walk towards me, I will run towards you.” Hadith Qudsi.

 Pure Matrimony

….Where Practice Makes Perfect

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12 Comments to Letting Go

  1. subhanallah!!! I really had tears in my eyes while reading this.. It couldn’t have come at a better time for me.. jazakallah for such a beautiful post.. I could relate to each n everything said here.. I pray to Allah that He grant me d strength to forgive , let go n move on in life without looking back ever.. :'( aameen..

  2. Subhan Allah – it’s true my heart is not complying right now though I can differentiate what was right n wrong for me .. Bec of my emotions .. Plz I humbly request to pray that these emotions of mine just get kick off from me bec m getting psychologically ill and my marriage might be under threat plz pray

    • My ex fiancée and his ppl played a lot with me rejected me after 2 years of engagement ..my fiancée kept me in hope of marrying but when he came from abroad after a year to convince his parents he ran again knowing that I was undergoing severe stress under psych

  3. rheaaznira

    Thanks for the article.. I got engaged with someone i truly love. He is my whole life. But everytime i performed istikharah, there will be something bad happened to us. Until one time, i feel like maybe we are not meant to be together.. Two months before our marriage, i performed another istikharah.. Hoping to get the final answer. I ask Allah if he is not meant to be with me, give me courage to break this engagement and make me redho with it. Then once again i got the same answer. I keep crying and crying because the hardest part is letting go…

  4. JazakhAllah for this post but I I’m still a little unsure with my matter.
    I’ve been married for 17yrs me and my husband had all sorts of problem since we got married but now we are in a position where he is more interested in keeping his family happy and forgetting that me and the kids are his family he is now telling me he no longer loves me cus I can’t keep his family happy, I’m unsure wat to do I can’t leave him because I love him so much nor can I stay with him being second best, I knw this is a test from Allah but I dnt understand what would be a good thing to do for the sake of Allah, I am trying to be patient and have been for the last 17 yrs.
    Plz keep me in your duas

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