What does it take to make an amazing spouse?
What do YOU need to do now to ensure you’re 100% ready to get married and help your other half complete half of their deen?
In part two of this three-part series, we take a look at self-development from an emotional, mental and spiritual point of view to help you become the best version of you – ready for anything (including marriage!)
Join this lively discussion with Sister Arfa Saira and Sister Fathima Farooqi as they dive deep into what you need to change in order to become a great spouse!
How To Prepare Yourself Emotionally, Mentally and Spiritually For Marriage
*Playing – Pure Matrimony Jingles*
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Arfa: Bismillah! Assalamu Alaikkum (wrb) and welcome to the family matter show. I’m your host Sis. Arfa Saira Iqbal, Head of Pure Matrimony and in today’s show, we are into the second Podcast in our Podcast series of “The making of a perfect Spouse”.
In the first part, we talked all about Self-analysis. This is part 2 where we are really going to be diving deep into physical, spiritual, emotional and mental development. What you need to be doing to make yourself the best version of you.
So, joining me today is Sis. Fathima Farooqi who is my co-host and I’m so excited for this particular podcast because the last one was just Fantastic. So, Assalamu Alaikkum Sis. Fathima. How are you?
Fathima: Wa Alaikkum Salaam (wrb) Sis. Arfa. Alhamdulilah, I’m well and I’m really looking forward to this one as well. Because, Oh, My God! I’m just thinking, why we didn’t come across this one. I mean, why I didn’t think about this one very long ago.
(Both of them laughing out loudly)
Arfa: This one is really interesting after we did that particular podcast. You and I were having a discussion after. We both actually said that we should have done this one thing before we got married.
Fathima: (repeats) Exactly! Nowadays it’s so easy to have all this knowledge and everything and really hope that anyone who is listening to this, (repeats) really implements these things and really focuses on Self-development because it’s that important in choosing the right Spouse.
Arfa: Well! I feel…
Fathima : (continues)You are going to be in the right space to select the spouse once you know itself.
Arfa: Oh, Definitely. I think to be honest with you; we are living in the 21st century, right, if you are not developing yourself all time, like seriously, what you are doing.
Arfa: Actually, if you look at it from an Islamic perspective, Islam demands us to be in the best version of ourselves. Not just from a spiritual point of view but from the worldly point of you as well. That’s why actually if you look back, centuries before the golden age of Islam, why did we have such amazing mathematicians, scientists and doctors and what not. I mean, literally, Europe was in darkness. And we brought light into that. That’s why it is called the golden age. Right.
So, we actually brought light into the darkness of Europe, why because, the methodologies, the sort of discoveries that we did they were lights upon everything else. The reason being that our Deen demands excellence in everything. As very interesting actually because, this entire podcast is all about self development, and all of the different things you need to develop to be the best version of you.
But I remember speaking to Sheikh Musleh about this. And you know what Sheikh Musleh told me, he said that one another thing, very interesting actually, one another thing’s that people really sort of mess upon is decided, let’s say a person is an academic person they will push them in towards the Deen. Do you see what I mean? While there is nothing wrong in being a religious person. It’s like, well if you are not gonna be a, let’s say a doctor or a lawyer, anything like that. They try to push them into being like an Aalim or something like that.
If you are not going to mind it, then you are going to be ignorant about lot of things, and unfortunately, they take the ignorance with them into the Deen. And this is why you end up with these Maulavis and all these like Imam’s and stuff like that who have a very poor understanding of what religion actually is and that actually does the Deen more harm than it does good.
Fathima: Yeah! It is going to destroys so many lives.
Arfa: Definitely! ( laughs) I’m gonna give this. You know, I love doing these Podcasts. Because it gets through all these extra lot of stories. There is an Imam, not mentioning any names because that wouldn’t be appropriate. There is a local Imam nearby I live, who gave her advise not to name her daughter with a certain name because he told her, if you give her this name she will grow up to be a bad woman.
Fathima: Oh, my god! Look at that!
Arfa: I was shocked, I was like “are you joking?”. She was like “no, he told me not to name”. And this was the name from the Quran by the way. She got a beautiful name from the Quran and he just basically said “Don’t name with this, when she grows up she’s gonna be a bad woman”. And I’m like “Oh, my god! You really got to be kidding me”.
But that’s what ignorance does. It brings darkness where there should be light. Yes.
Fathima: Yes, Sis. Arfa. Why is it important to… Let’s get on to the first phase of development. It’s about your physical development. Why is it important to improve oneself physically because, you know, some might say that I think I’m healthy, And Alhamdulillah, Allah has blessed me with good looks and stuffs. We do appreciate the self-confidence but then why is it important to focus on your physical and your, you know, just your overall health and well-being.
Arfa: Well. Ok. Here is something to consider…..
For more of this interesting & REAL discussion, please listen to the audio above or download from the URL here: http://traffic.libsyn.com/purematrimony/Part_2_How_To_Prepare_Yourself_Emotionally_Mentally_and_Spiritually_For_Marriage.mp3
Listen to part one here: https://www.muslimmarriageguide.com/podcast-part-1-making-perfect-spouse/
Listen to part three here: http://traffic.libsyn.com/purematrimony/3_personality_and_character.mp3
Get your ‘Prepare For Marriage Toolkit’ here: https://purematrimony.lpages.
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